Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I went for a run last night along the beachIt hurt and I got wet. What stupid things have you done this week?
Alt:
Midweek drinking. Good idea or good idea?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:19,
213 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
YMAlt: the only way to get through it
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:20,
Reply)
Great seats or something. I forget. Squeeze?(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:21,
Reply)
Nah, this is a textbook ANDREW MARR mate(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:23,
Reply)
I was going to respond to your Alt with the hilariously self-contradictory "I'm not going to dignify this with a response"but Monty has provided a response which actually sums up pretty well what I would have said, were I to dignify it with a response.
Ironically, this response to Monty's response has taken up much more of my time and thought than my original idea for a response, or should I say non-response, would have.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:24, Reply)
The Tom Jones/IRA crossover single really didn't cut the mustard(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:27,
Reply)
YMzzzzAlt: Yeah it the besht! Oh, though you said midmorning.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:21,
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Real answerOn Monday me and another person took some drugs which he found on the floor of the bogs in the pub. I knew it wasn't cocaine, MDMA or amphetamine because of the smell and texture, but I had a go anyway, despite it being potentially lethal, my being a dad, it being a Monday and my being nearly 40.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:22,
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Some kind of 'legal high' bollocks I reckon(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:24,
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I got hold of of really fucking good legal highs at Glasto in 2007Kept me going all night. Not like that, they knocked little Darth for six.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:30, Reply)
I tried 'meow meow' onceI could feel the effect, which surprised me, but didn't really like it.
Tru storee
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
I can't remember what this stuff was calledThat's a good sign, right?
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I did shit loads of that when it was legalI'm glad they banned it, it was dirty.
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Peej, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:35,
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maybe we can help identify them
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
ahemMARR chunks
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1970642
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:35,
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I wouldn't have dared do it were I in Oxford, but there were no bodies lying around so I thought fuck it(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:25,
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You will be pleased to know that I didn't die, it wore off after an hour and did very little.So little that I'd forgotten about it until a minute ago.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:24,
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Nah I'd remember if it did that(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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Next time I go for a blood test, i'd like to swap it with yours for the lulz.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:53,
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christ all mighty That is without a doubt the stupidest thing I've heard anyone do, coming from someone who has pills that would give you a year long slow agonising death if you took them in one go
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:42,
Reply)
Stupider than spend decades aggravating a chronic medical condition with poor diet, heavy smoking and zero exercise?Fuck me that must be stupid.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:52,
Reply)
tough love innitWell that's what chompy calls it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:00,
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Yes, way way way stupider, without a doubt. Don't get me wrong, your example isn't close to healthy living, but necking random pills found on a toilet floor can lead to something so horrific, that nobody here knows what physical-pain is, in comparison.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:59,
Reply)
See below, these weren't pills but a package of noseup(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:02,
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This was powder in a drug bag - had they been pills I wouldn't have gone near themThis was quite definitely recreational drugs of some kind, and there was most of it gone so it's owner had taken them and lived*.
*or was lying dead round the corner
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:56,
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I PERFORMED AN ON-THE-SPOT RISK ASSESSMENT OK?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:58,
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he snorted some powder he found on the floor of a public loohe didn't die
the end
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:05,
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Ohhh, that's a bit different to the image I had.It's still stupid, but nobody is crushing up cancer medicane.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:01,
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Silly question you did check the toilet cubicals didn't you?It could have been of that new stuff from Oxford
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:02,
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I tried to stuff my cock up my own arseIt's an excellent idea
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:24,
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Well no-one else is going to(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:26,
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You are admitting to want to bum Ape?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:28,
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Meanwhile I've recently been struck by an urge to wear jeggings and complain about being skint(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Most don't realise just how hard it is to run on sandHow come you didn't use your magic carpet?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:24,
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It's Darth who frequently has Aladdin, not me(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:25,
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Oh I sayThat one started on middle and leg but straightened to take the top of off. Unplayable, Athers.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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I do rather love your cricket praises(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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I was explaining late swing to minibadger on friday afternoonshe stared at the screen a bit and then was sick when Jimmy started his run-up. High praise indeed.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:32,
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Badger!Been meaning to ask you since Sunday. Did you see any of the highlights? Who the fuck was that tall chap bowling on Sunday morning? Looked like Stuart Broad but was very obviously Malcolm Marshall at his most terrifyingly unplayable. Not an easy pair of chaps to get confused, you'd have thought.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Broad's always been able to do thatIf the silly prick remembers to pitch it up.
As it goes, I think Jimmy was bowling better than him on Sunday. I just think Jimmy's bowling was so unplayable that the NZ batsmen subconsciously relaxed against Broad. And paid the price.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:34,
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Jimmy Anderson is a fucking swing geniusIf the two of them manage two sessions like that per match against the Aussies, with their current top order, we're looking at five innings victories. Minus however many matches are rained off. And at least one for a comedic batting collapse.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:36, Reply)
I was particularly fond of his execution of the perfect two-card trickThe first one jagged viciously back and damn near took the end of the NZ boy's cock off as it cut him in two. Second one followed exactly the same path but straightened away to take the edge to slip.
I was almost sporting a semi.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:41,
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Aye, was a fucking masterclassUnplayable to all but the most experienced of batsmen. So if something unpleasant happens to Michael Clarke we could skittle them for single figures.
*calls in favour*
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)
At our winter indoor cricket nets a couple of months backa curmudgeonly old bastard went into the nets. He really is a foul-mouthed, torn-faced old twat. Anyway, he takes guard, 1st bowler comes in nice and quick and catches him right in the spuds with a slightly short one. Old bastard goes down like a sack of spuds, gets helped out of the nets. Innings over. LOL.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:07, Reply)
very good(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
Ooh I can answer both of these!I've recently discovered that midweek drinking is not only fun, it's often conducive to a better-than-average* night's sleep. This is almost certainly stupid.
*This being my average. Which is fucking shit.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:26, Reply)
In other news, I am doing my expenses for Poland.Going back six months. It seems they owe me about five grand.
Tedious, but worth it.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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Tedious - noYou are getting paid to get paid
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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Will pay for the furniture etc. for my new place.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:32,
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i need to do mine, such a tedious processalthouygh I have an "app" now which will help in the future
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:40,
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Nothing springs to mind, but I'm sure one of you can point something out.Alt: Of course.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:29,
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Same stupid* thing as I've done for the past 4 weekshad a baby.
*not really stupid.
Alt: I've never really considered the day of the week important to the whole "whether to drink or not" thing. What with being an almost fully-functioning adult.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:31,
Reply)
I went for a cycle with shorts with a hole worn inside the thighnow I have an weeping sore on the inside of the thigh that sticks to the inside of my trousers :(
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:31,
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in that case I might chew up some salt and vinegar crisps and make a poultice(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:47,
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Glue it on, just to make sure(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:47,
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I am *so* turned on right now(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:47,
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My titgaz get through OK then?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:48,
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it's like an angry red sticky love bite with matted leg hairs and pant fluff(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:50,
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Some good PEAR news!!!!www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22575545
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Agreed to go over my finances with parentsThis should be fun...
Alt: Depends whether you're a wuss, or not. And yes, I am aware that I shouldn't really say that, especially in regards to the above.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:01,
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facing up to your problems, particularly financial ones will be painfulbut not as painful as the consequences of ignoring them.
/dad
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:03,
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Aye, this is trueFact is, I'm now in a situation where things can't get worse, but they can't particularly improve either. It's why I've gone to my parents, I can't keep living like this.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:08,
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I bought 4 360 games for £1.50 the other day, having traded in some old DVDs and gamesWas rather pleased with that.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:10,
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I was, then a few months of my living situation going to shit meant I stopped paying attention to repayments, paying only the absolute minimumThings have improved now, but without a hand, it'd be very difficult for me to sort anything.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:18,
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They are, but I was sticking extra on topI stopped doing so.
As I say, complete fucking idiocy.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:21,
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That's fuck all.Just get pretend upset at battered online and he'll pay you off.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:34, Reply)
tbf he could buy a house in Skem for that(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:34,
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Within a couple of miles of my old housewww.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-34129277.html/svr/3109;jsessionid=B1B13537744F246D45044958DF0D1D50
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:36,
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naff all mate, you'll be fine. You probably just need to refinance sensibly(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:34,
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Aye, that's the intentionIt's why I went to my parents, as I know they can give me a hand towards it, and help me to find ways of saving money. Just not particularly looking forward to it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:35,
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they do if they are unarranged and you are being charged(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:39,
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What bank account doesn't have at least a £500 arranged overdraft?(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)
It's arranged, still being charged for it. Just gets annoying if/when I go over it.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:42,
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900 quid?Ahahahahahhahaha I wish I only owed 900 quid! If My credit cards and overdrafts were less than 900 quid I'd be loaded.
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Peej, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:40,
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When you owe SIXTY GRAND like me, THEN we'll talk(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:53,
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*calculates*Erm, about £45k for me
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:54,
Reply)
Alright?Move stuff is being lame. Well, flatmate is being lame. She's not paid until Friday, meaning I've had to pay the whole booking fee. She'll pay me her end back, but still. She's already living in MH and needs to get her stuff over to her fella's place tomorrow. She wants me to drive over and help her, instead of getting a cab. 100 mile round trip for a few plastic bags? Er, no.
Should I feel guilty about this? She seems to think so, judging by the "I guess I'll have to sort something else out, then". I think no.
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Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:05,
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i don't know why you live with her, she sounds like a mess(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:08,
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It's only short term and most of it's not really her fault.(
Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:09,
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Although her expectation that she can get somebody else to look after her very definitely is.(
Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:17,
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I'm starting to get into a "you're 34 years old, sort it out" mood with it all.
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Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:13,
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why the hell doesn't her boyfriend pcik her and her shit up?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:15,
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Doesn't have a car, I expect.You London lot are all anti-car and pro-public-disease-coffin.
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Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:16,
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'cos Kroney keeps nicking it for his "special" freezer(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:16,
Reply)
Exactly. Or say something about zee Fronchman hanging out of the back of her. (, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:16, Reply)
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/new-xbox-will-revolutionise-sitting-on-your-fat-arse-2013052269617?utm_campaign=22052013&utm_source=emailCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=This is funny.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:07, Reply)
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/new-xbox-will-revolutionise-sitting-on-your-fat-arse-2013052269617
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)
The pinnacle of inertia is surely a contradiction in terms.Inertia looks at the pinnacle from the bottom of the curve and wheezes at it.
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Kroney, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:19,
Reply)
You should apologise for posting such a piece of crap.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:21,
Reply)
It was textbook. Taking the piss out of high end fat internet shut in gamers.And your humble offline gazzed apology is accepted.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:28, Reply)
i bet he secretly spends hours and hours in a darkened room playing online fantasy role playwhere his character is a giant
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:29,
Reply)
I have never seen the point of video games when there are pubs to spend time in,(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:31,
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And spending time in the house rather than the pub can save your marriage(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:42, Reply)
I can't think sitting in your pants going 'peow peow' covered in Quaver crumbs is really going to do that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
Strange that what you "cant' think" has been proven by socialocial studies in the last decade isn't it?(, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)
Sorry I just think the whole thing is antisocialocial(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:50,
Reply)
I think you can get some lotionotion for that(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:52,
Reply)
Dyslexic cats best of all cats (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
...and get you more fanny.Oh hang on.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:43,
Reply)
No, you just "look" like a cunt(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:48,
Reply)
stupid thing was midweek drinking last night I reckonI'm working from home today so I can have a kip at lunchtime, that's how bad it is.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:17,
Reply)
Nope!But missed a 9am meeting this morning I'd forgotten about.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
I just want you to know that I clicked 'I like this' on your post and I'm quite ambivalent about itJust the buttons are in the wrong place over here
HELLO
Yeah I et some pasta that had been out on teh side for ages and all morning I've had horrible rotten tummy and stinky poos
ALT: Fucking drinking is cool man, we should all do it.
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Theoban What of it, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
Did you know there is a town on scotland called "Oban"and they have distillery called "The Oban" distillery?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 11:58,
Reply)
Did you know, you're a bent spastic?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:00,
Reply)
it's been mentioned once or twiceI believe that you originally coined the phrase and I shall blame you personally on my suicide note, just as soon as I can get up to Kettering
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:01,
Reply)
well there was recently a 'ship' that 'ran aground' in his 'bay'www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-22603212
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
I have two containers of lunch pasta I made in the fridge at work, they're been there a month nowI think I might just throw them away
pastachat
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:02,
Reply)
I had some pasta and red pesto I made on monday.It was refrigerated so it was fine.
(, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)
I made some pasta and pesto and some white fish I can't remember the name ofnow the flat smells a bit of a white fish I can't remember the name of, fish are bent yo
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
Str8 up, GThem muthafackas is the homos of da sea.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:09,
Reply)
I had pasta and pesto with olives and chorizo and some ricotta mixed inIt was nice but I dunno why a couple of hours on the side made me do ills
I should never eat again
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Theoban What of it, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:29,
Reply)
Terrible news :(musicfeeds.com.au/news/drum-circles-can-potentially-kill-you-all-hippies-at-risk/
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 May 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
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