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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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what is the planet's most stupid animal?
alt: do you have a conscience, or do you think you are always right? what happens if it pricks you, do you listen or ignore it?

altalt: what do you find difficult and what comes easily to you?
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:08, 146 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
altalt: Words don't come easy to me.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:09, Reply)
like "forgive me"?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Poor old legless

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Cheers!

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)
They don't come easily to Nakers either.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Reply to my text message please.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)
He's got you on orange 2.0

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I do have a conscience and one that is currently troubled.
AltAlt: taking my daughter back to my wife's is extremely difficult. Everyday. I can't see it getting any easier either.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)
sensible answer
it's awful right now, because it's new. as she gets older, she will be able to stay with you for longer, and will possibly even appreciate seeing you more than if you are there to annoy her all the time. and when she's older still, well, teenagers are fucking disgusting.

you cankerous eyesore.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)
It is heartbreaking. I know that I am lucky compared to others as I see her everyday (that won't be possible forever), but she also hates me going & gets upset.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Is because you see eye to eye
tee hee
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)
which must be odd, given that most females get upset when you arrive......

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)
zing

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)
i have to say that pheasants are up there
alt: i have a very active conscience. luckily, i never do anything nasty.

altalt: maths and computers. fucking useless things.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)
i was driving lat year around some country roads,
i saw the pheasants stood by the side of the road, so i sowed a little, they sort of turned away from the road, so i thought, ok, cool, they're going back in to the field, and they were fucking bluffing, ran straight out in to the road, hit both. one of them was only wounded, but the car behind finished it off.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:14, Reply)
it makes me v sad
but it is also people's fault. people buy them in their thousands for disgusting pigs to shoot them... then most of them don't even get eaten... apparently 90% of them live less than a year, and most of those get polished off on the road. poor birdies.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Yup, those, and peacocks
which are the same, but expensive and noisy to boot.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)
i'd quite like a pet peacock
but they make a fucking racket
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)
They also have very sharp beaks
One of the little fuckers pecked me during a play at Newstead Abbey
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)
i think all birds have sharp beaks
but that's pretty unlucky. like my friend's brother, who got pissed on by a tiger at the zoo, right through the bars. he said he smelled for DAYS.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)
He was on a mission to raid our picnic
they have beaks like ice axes
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)
awwwwwwwwwww
why didn't you just feed him the picnic? i would have done
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)
I made this mistake at Warwick Castle once
I gave one of them one of my Salt and Vinegar Sky Divers and then the cunt wouldn't leave me alone.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:33, Reply)
why would you want him to, though?
i mean, what's cooler than being followed around by a peacock?!
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:36, Reply)
Eating a packet of salt and vinegar Sky Divers

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)
haha

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Right up there?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)
as the planet's stupidest animal
that is all
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)
YM

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:12, Reply)
oh, and
altalt: i come easily on your mums face
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:12, Reply)
i hope you have a long shovel

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)
the beauty of a shovel, is that no matter how long the shovel is, you can dig the hole as deep as you like.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)
yes but if you're going to dig up someone who's been buried for 8 years
the longer the shovel, the further away your nose
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)
He's going to stick his cock in it, I don't think he'll be thinking about his nose.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)
8 years isn't that long really,

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

years inches

no, wait. the other one. MILLIMETRES.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:22, Reply)
please do not cast aspersions about the size of my manhood.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:35, Reply)
:)

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:38, Reply)
you're not going anywhere near it if thats what you're thinking,
take your grin elsewhere.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:41, Reply)
i was laughing AT it
not WITH it
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)
:(
you're a mean bully, i hope you fall over and land in some dog poo.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)
heh heh heh

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Naked Ape

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I am casting my vote here.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:15, Reply)
People, daily Mail readers in particular.
Alt:Yes I have a conscience. yes I think I am always right, because I usually am. Sadly I listen to my conscience far more than is good for me.

ALtAlt: People that I don not like, I am very bad at faking niceness I don't feel, I have vowed never to work in a customer-facing role. I'm pretty good with fixing mechanical and electronic things. My latest project is a couple of RC tanks. One is a German Tiger 1, I may make a litle model of monty to sit in it.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)
You were certainly right when you thought 'I think I look just like a cross between Wilf Lunn and Phileas Fogg'

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:19, Reply)
except I don't.
neither had a purple mohawk. I think you'd get more millage out of following Rory's line of mocking me for being an overgrown teenager.

tell me you don't want to play with my tank.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I don't want to play with your tank, Wilf.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)
you do really it fires BBs and smokes and all sorts, you could take it too the park and pretend to invade poland
I'm gonna have tank battles with my lad.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Alt: My conscience is a cunt who needs to be silenced.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Whoever proposed and/or picked this week's QOTW

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Agar now on 79

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)
FFS

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)
86

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)
It's an absolute pisstake.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)
it is getting a bit silly now.
but the ball is dead, the pitch is flat, it's a batters dream. We need to get in there and smash a hundred or 2 before tea.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:36, Reply)
I am happy to be convinced that I am wrong about something.
However in my life's experience, I should trust my instincts. On the whole the snap decisions I make are the right ones, and letting myself be swayed by the arguments of others ends up being a bad move.

Altalt: Wordy things I can trot out in my sleep. I find self restraint difficult.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Snap decisions like "I should totally snort that unidentified powder I just found on the floor of the gents"?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Wise words.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)
I reckon Mozzies are the most pointless one.
I'm a big contradiction on my concious, I tend to [not care/care too much] about things that other people seem to do the oppersite. I'm very much a live-and-let-live kindda fella though, so it doesn't bother me too much.

I find getting in touch with people quite hard.

I've just found this that I'm gonna give a go tonight: www.just-eat.co.uk/restaurants-deeswestindianbakeryandtakeaway-en3/menu

Never had west indian food, whats a good thing to get there you reckon?
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Curried goat or jerk chicken.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:24, Reply)
wot Bat said, also brown stew chicken, jerk pork, ackee and saltfish, festivals, plantain.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Plantain is horrible.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:26, Reply)
snap

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Tasteless & greasy.
A bit like YM.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)
*fireworks*

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)
I've tried cooking plantain everywhich way possible
And I can never get the things to taste good.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)
worse than that
it masquerades as something nice, so you think you have a nice portion of chips, only to find it's fucking plantain, food of the devil
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)
You told me that you use it on your Xmas hols
to get rid of the taste of black dick.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)
+e

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:33, Reply)
I like plantain.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)
yeah this lot are dicks

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:31, Reply)
My first question on food is always "does swipe hate it?"
If so, then I go out and try it immediately, because it's probably delicious.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:34, Reply)
you boys are just wrong
stunned put me in charge of sweet stuff on sat, which won't bother monty. i was going to buy jelly babies for kroney, especially for kroney. NOW he's getting tesco value ones. HA.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)
There is only one person "in charge"
and that's me.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:40, Reply)
Alright Bruce Forsyth

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)
mmm
hot
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)
chips are shit

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:32, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2014194
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:34, Reply)
proper chips, smothered in spicy salt and vinegar
and dipped in garlic or chilli mayo, are one of the finest things this planet has to offer.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:37, Reply)
Other people's chips are the only acceptable ones to eat
I lose interest as soon as I have my own.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Your one of those are you?
Thought as much.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)
He is totally one of those.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Shh don't tell my wife.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)
you mean, a woman?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)
+ Callaloo, rice N peas, any soup they offer, red snapper, Guinness punch
And if they do them Giant Chicken Dumplings covered in spicy gravy
the size of Muskmelon with nommy pulled jerk chicken and gravy inside*


*Which I don't think I have EVAH mentioned
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:32, Reply)
On a flight to Jamaica
They served Chicken rice n peas o as the in flight meal,.. One of the few times I have really enjoyed airline food.
Once there they did a load of WestIndian/ Asian cross over food which was fucking amazing
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)
Yep Jamaican cooking is all about fusion cooking

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Mugged
hahaha
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)
click.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)

www.food.com/recipe/macaroni-pie-from-trinidad-245967
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Hells bells

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I find it difficult to read stuff like this
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/10171897/Nadezhda-Popova.html

without thinking, "wow"
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)
she was great in Rentaghost

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Cows always seem a bit dense to me
Ostriches too. And they look funny when they fall over.

I have too much of a conscience. Always look ahead before making decisions and always think too much of what the other person thinks.

altalt. I never can say goodbye
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:28, Reply)
No, no, no I, I never can say goodbye

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Especially the sporty ones

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)
I'm going to go with our staff.
alt: My conscience is occasional at best, but when it does pipe up I do listen to it. I'm not arrogant enough to assume I'm always right, but if I feel sure of my ground, you're going to have to do some work to convince me otherwise.

altalt: I can fix practically anything. Cerebral stuff like maths is difficult to me.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Pigeons
Alt: I am very much conscious driven, which in my former career was probably not a good trait, I am also a firm believer in karma.

Alt:alt: I have a habit of storing useless information and terrible with peoples names
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:34, Reply)
ATTENTION SOUTHWESTERNERS, THE DEVONERS, CORNISH AND THE DORSETESE.
All the previous talk about beaches has made me want to go somewhere for a weekend. I shall need a nice, sandy beach and a decent hotel.

Suggestions.

GO.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:40, Reply)
woolacombe was lovely.
also, Bognor.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:41, Reply)
Bognor's a chav-den almost as notorious as Weston.
But I shall look into Woolacombe, thanks!
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Woolacombe is very nice
Also from experience, Weymouth, West Bay (but shingle beach), Perranporth, Croyde, and even Bournemouth.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Lizard's Point

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:45, Reply)
oh sorry
*zips up*
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:21, Reply)

www.scarlethotel.co.uk/

i took greggs hat here for his birthday. sooooo gorgeous - amazing food, lovely treatments, nice hot tub on top of the cliff etc etc.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:48, Reply)
all the benders you can eat?

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)
just the one, really

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:51, Reply)
you sicken me.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)
that's what he said :(

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Awwwww. :(

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:58, Reply)
Not available in the period I want to go in.
Also, a spa? I don't need a spa.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:51, Reply)
\o
look at mine it's right on the beach
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)
Yeah, I was just looking at that one, it's nice!

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)
\o/
Cracking beach and only a stones throw from St. Ives which is a short walk along a coastal path, it's really not worth the effort driving into St. Ives
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Well, OG mentioned she loved St Ives, so you've won the game.
Carbis Bay Hotel, it is!
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:11, Reply)
Also look at the alternative of hiring a cottage in Carbis Bay

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:15, Reply)
A bunch of mates and I
are hiring a cottage in Boscastle in September. Looking forward to it.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:29, Reply)
\o/ Lighty in da house, nice one
what's with the sig?
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:30, Reply)

pylon.ytmnd.com/‎
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Boscastle's pretty nice.
It's a bit on the hippie-dippie side, though.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:31, Reply)
That reminds me just behind that hotel is a little tea room....
It looks like a old cottage conversion, I still consider their Cream Tea to be the best that I have ever had, homemade scones and jam.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:34, Reply)
We've been there quite often as a group
The cottage we usually get is unavailable so we're venturing into the unknown.

GULL COTTAGE - HIGH WATTAGE
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:37, Reply)
pfffffffffft
only someone who has never been to a beautiful spa says that they don't need a spa
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)
What about this spa?
metro.co.uk/2013/07/10/hotel-spa-offers-new-bathtub-filled-with-beer-treatment-3876416/
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Try this one on for size
carbisbayhotel.co.uk/
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:49, Reply)
also there is a pretty place in dorset with an abandoned village that the government stole during ww1
you can only go on bank holidays as the army/RAF use it for the rest of the year, it's v pretty around here, and the village is interesting. look:

www.bbc.co.uk/dorset/content/articles/2008/12/10/tyneham_feature.shtml

get a nice hotel around there for the august bank holiday, then go and see it!
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Remember going there as a kid, very strange a village with nobody in it.
Beautiful part of the world round there
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)
my friend and i stumbled across it quite by mistake
it's amazing
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:57, Reply)
I want to go there.
That looks good.
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:03, Reply)
it is really good
amazing for wildlife too
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Beachy Head
You can play the local game of Blind mans bluff
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)
YES out for 98
all out for 280
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Shame he didn't get a century. Good pitch for batting on this afternoon. Fingers crossed we put some runs on quickly.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:55, Reply)
He deserved one to be fair
What a debut, if he then takes a 5for he will be an Aussie legend
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)
The worst thing is it's all taking place a stones throw from where I am :(
I can almost picture myself sitting there in the sun with plenty of liquid refreshment
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:59, Reply)
About fucking time!

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:56, Reply)
right, well, now we need to take advantage of this pitch.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:57, Reply)
^ this ^

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:02, Reply)
fingers crossed Wee Pee, fingers crossed

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:02, Reply)
although, we didn't exactly inspire yesterday, so i'm not holding my breath.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:04, Reply)
*crosses legs and eyes to get more luck*

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)
+Tucks under to look pretty

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:19, Reply)
Human
Alt. Yes unfortunatly
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)
The Cornish
alt: nah
(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)
New thread.

(, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

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