Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hi I'm newCan someone tell me how I can get hold of my very own 'step' hammer? I have heard a lot about them and would like one of my own. I can't see anything in the FAQ about it, and help would be appreciated!
Cheers.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:24,
179 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I think to get one you have to have been registered for 5, 6, 7, 8 weeks(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:26,
Reply)
Try deleting your account and killing yourself, that'll work(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:28,
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Will do, I'll let you know how I get on.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:29,
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thank god you're hereit's all fake socks and weirdos today, apey.
*clings*
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:31,
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Yes. For ages. Thought I might join in for a change, hopefully I get called a cunt!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:31,
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I genuinely am new. Brand new. And shiny.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:34,
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So you'll be aware that I'm the best one here?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:32,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:36,
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Don't listen to himRead, digest and understand every word of it.
You won't lose that L-plate until you do.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:39,
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Gazzing B3th Pics of your Cock helps(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:32,
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What do you call those cameras used to take microscopic photos again?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:33,
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Battered's Camera?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:35,
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Is Proportion the lesser known eight dwarf?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:42,
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Stunned poster \o/Did you have your mixed grill?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:39,
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Sounds like your not even trying(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:44,
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Why shouldn't you take the piss out of Battered?Because its not big and its not clever!
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Peej, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:40,
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Battered walks in a brothel and demands a prossiewhen he gets to the room, he straps springs to his elbows and knees, turns out the light and proceeds to give the prosser a fucking of a lifetime.
'Wow' she exclaimed afterwards, 'I've never EVER been fucked like that, what's your secret?'
'Simple' our diminutive hero said, 'it's four-spring-dwarf-technique!'
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:44,
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the problem with this joke isit makes people think about battered having sex.
and now i have sick in my mouth. acrid burny sick.
so thanks for that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
They're called cameras.what you do, see, this is the clever bit - you put a normal camera onto a microscope to take microscopic pictures.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:42,
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I did ask at Wickes, the assistant looked blankly at me and said he would ask his supervisor. That was 3 hours ago, and still I have heard nothing.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:35,
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Hence "half competent"Chain stores may not carry them as they're a bit specialist, may need to go to a proper local builders merchants. Should be in the "plumbing (new depths) department."
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Out of stock locally, and not available for home delivery.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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Tell me new personDo you have opinions on David Bowie, Vinyl Records and The Treworgey Tree Fayre of 1989?
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Peej, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:39,
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PJ are the roads melting there yet?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:40,
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Its been seriously fucking hot here for two weeks nowI can't sleep at night because of the heat and the sunburn. I've gt the rest of the week off to enjoy it though.
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Peej, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:41,
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32 predicted, i hope you get some seabreeze(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:43,
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I saw the advert for them frozen cocktails last night I may give them a go.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:47,
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I was thinking this very thing.It's like slush puppy for alcoholics.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:48,
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EGGHATCHLY(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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I hope I get a keg of beer and a blowjob but it isn't going to happen(
Peej, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:44,
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my dad's just gone down there, the swinei'm there the week beginning 26 aug. drinks with you and vippers ahoy.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:44,
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i will leave that up to you and vippersi'll be at watergate bay, but i'm sure i can nick a car if needs be (from my dad or my brothers, i am not suggesting we go on a crime spree)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:47,
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It not gaywhen its in a threeway.
Near Newquay then. About 20 miles from me, I'm sure we can sort something out.
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Peej, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:48,
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don't say thati'm going to be stuck with 3 kids and a baby. if they can't play on the beach or in the pool wtf am i going to do with them?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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funnily enough there is one v near my dad's housereally excellent food, but the weirdest man running it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:59,
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Bastard. Nice pint of bitter and a dressed crab lunch St Austell way or Looe or Mawnan way.
Bollocks, I want to go to Cornwall now.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:45, Reply)
come with meeeeeeeeegranted you'd have to share a room with me and my 6 year old niece, but you know
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:46,
Reply)
PeejI am staring out of the window wondering if the drive is worth it for the weekend.
I am supposed to be in Porthkerris on 14/09.
(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50, Reply)
This place looks amazingwww.cornishdreamcottages.co.uk/
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wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:41,
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Surely the only way to get the full 'Treworgey experience' is to stay in a converted ambulance, drinking cider and LSD with a load of crusties(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:43,
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No. No opinions on these subjects. Should I have?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:40,
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I do have a Bowie opinion. I like his music. Favourites include 'Clocks' and 'Yellow'.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:44,
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Maybe not thoroughly enough. I will go back and start again.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:42,
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Hahaha Is he refusing to send you a cock gaz?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:46,
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sunk to the bottom of the page?sorry b3th
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:47,
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Oh, so *that's* why you have the 5 monitor wide setup in your shed.(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:49, Reply)
There's a queue? This is becoming more and more complicated.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:47,
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better than a Qthere was a cat that really was a cunt
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:48,
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The cat hater's melt down was hilarious. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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no, bert.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:51,
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It's got to be butter?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:51,
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Depends on the breed of dog, I'm told.Apparently some are happy with margarine, as long as it's polyunsaturated.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:53,
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this was also truehe'd sent me about 35 gazzes the night before, denying being bert, and making up a wife/child
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:54,
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I always thought that was just one of those urban myths that 92% of people don't repost, or something.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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Consensus opinion seems to be that we want him back though.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:50,
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fuck convention and the consensusgo your own way
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:53,
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YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG:'(
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:51,
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*looks shifty*(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:56,
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haha(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:00,
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can someone tell me what to have for lunch?the market is here, which means choosing between thai curry, burmese curry, paella, falafel wraps, arancini, jamaican, as well as disgusting shit like beef or pulled pork or chorizo that i WON'T be having... ack.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 11:59,
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Go to York, get Dozer to shit out his hamster and eat that. On toast. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:00,
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that sounds like a lot of efforti might just go for paella with fresh chilli flakes and lemon
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:02,
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Well I had a big piece earlier on, and as a result I will be giving lunch a miss.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:29,
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I made this on Sunday it was excellent, see if anywhere near you does itb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2012737
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:02,
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If all vegetarian food was this good I would have a few meat free days in the week(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:08,
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You can get a Big Mac and fries for £1.99 at Holloway Rd.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:06,
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Is this good? I have no idea what the prices are normally(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:10,
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Dunno. I thought a burger and chips for two quid seemed reasonable.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:11,
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Alright Doctor FrogWhy don't you tell the class a little bit about yourself?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:03,
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I am not a real Doctor. I am a chap, with a bit too much free time at work right at the moment. I have been lurking for years, and thought I might join in a bit. I am bitterly disappointed to have had only one suggestion of suicide so far.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:05,
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Ooooh, you'd like her! I'll send you some pics.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:08,
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Many years ago, I googled 'bored at work' or something similar, and found a relevant QOTW which I read, and enjoyed reading the stories. Since then it has been a site I visit daily, even though I have never contributed until now.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:10,
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i want your story to check outbut you have to understand, we've been burned before. burned bad.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:12,
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You have to believe me. And I'm not honestly sure I know what you're talking about.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:12,
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you should know that people are going to ask if you've fucked your sister(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:15,
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In which case I will prepare a statement accordingly.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:18,
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Do you have a twitter account you could link us to?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:19,
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it can spell and punctuatethat rules out a LOT of people
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:21,
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tee hee
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:13,
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Hello new personTell me your views on sports involving flying discs
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Frisbee OG wanker, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:14,
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:20,
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I enjoyed the game 'disc golf' on the Playstation 3 Move system. I have to admit that I haven't throw and Aerobie or similar for a long time. perhaps I will amend this obvious oversight.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:20,
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HelloFrisbees are for student pricks, or children - or the mentally subnormal. You know, like Polish people.
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wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:55,
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Which part of the country are you from Frog?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:24,
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Bloody Fucking Kent being it's full title.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:28,
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Correct. I mean, at least it's not Essex. But then it is Bloody Fucking Kent.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:30,
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Kent is a bizarre mix of delightful and utter common-as-muck gash.(
wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:43,
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You are quite right. Where I live is that exact problem.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:45,
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On the one hand, Tunbridge Wells, on the other, Margate.(
wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:45,
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True enough. Where I live is a good example of this, hills, seaside, and thousands of 'twunts'.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:51,
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Kent is shit, it is simply in the way when one wants to go to France.(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:28,
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Only when he wants to establish a beachhead.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:38,
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Tell Hitler that you Nazi.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:38,
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Thanks for the tip, I'll be sure to check it out in due course.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 12:50,
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I tell you what, that Lusty's gone proper grumpy since Monty got stepped.(, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Welcome newb.ignore everything they say about me, I'm lovely and ever so stable, honest.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 13:07,
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I don't listen to idle gossip, or believe what I read in public toilets. Fear not, I will make my own judgments. With me you have a fresh start and a clean slate. Congratulations.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
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