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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am super-excited about this weekend. What are *you* excited about?
Alt: Let's have some NIGEL FARAGE CHAT
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:44, 184 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have my first free weekend in ages this weekend, I intend doing as little as possible.
alt: Not my favourite boxer, soz.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)

after "trolling the trolls" rather than STFU
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:54, Reply)

he whines a lot, but he doesn't actually seem like the type to gaz a mod; more the type to think that he is fanning the flames. i think it's perhaps more likely that a mod saw it, and thought, this is polluting our beautiful site, "chimp out".
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:03, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:01, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:05, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Last years had the "fun" activity of being in a circus. I kid you not. Seeing our CTO dressed up as a lion really made my day (!). They actually expected me to dress up like
Yesterday's HAPPYFUNTIME activity was fucking samba drumming, for which I managed to escape to the support room. Not before I had given a fucking neck massage to our scariest account manager. She has bigger balls than me
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I'm particularly not excited about being back to work after having a fortnight off.
Alt: I don't like Farage. Forrin sounding name, innit?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:50, Reply)

otherwise why the blithering fuck did i pay them extra for "super fast" deliver
alt: no thanks
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Lokers has just made an actual, non-hamfisted zing.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:10, Reply)

We actually might get this extension built after all.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Also, I once told that Nigel Farage to fuck off out of my country, and the following day he did.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I'm going to St Ives a week Saturday. Well looking forward to that. OG was most impressed with Harter's hotel recommendation, which naturally I claimed full credit for.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

You really will enjoy that hotel, just behind the hotel is a coastal path that takes you over the railway and into St. Ives it's a really nice walk and a lot less stressful than trying to drive and get parking.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:05, Reply)

house party in Herne Hill on Sat.
A whole weekend of sweating in my pants eating watermelon and tinkering with my bikes.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 9:56, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Plus it's only the fact my house is so energy efficient that it's so hot.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)

We're going camping Sat night in Epping Forest.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:17, Reply)

Troo story.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

The only benefit is the air conditioning. Otherwise I'm feeling like shit, still.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:04, Reply)

It just knocked me for six, for some reason.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:12, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:29, Reply)

in fact i had a 3am bedtime on the sat because SOMEHOW the stupid fob for the stupid electric gates at my flat had got itself lost, and i was locked out. i was dithering around on the street for ages, not wanting to wake the poor porter. eventually 2 of my neighbours appeared (never seen them before, AND they were hot) like two fob-bearing angels of mercy, and happened to be going into my block. wooooo.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

or else what's all the gymming for?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:49, Reply)

i didn't want to have a second arsehole ripped open by a giant metal spike
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:57, Reply)

because that's where the only night bus that I could remember left from. Of course there's another night bus that goes straight past my flat and that leaves from London Bridge. Which is right next to Bank.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:50, Reply)

I once managed to do a complete circuit around Centrepointe whilst completely convinced I was going in a straight line.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:59, Reply)

I do hope you get the all-clear. It's the waiting that gets to you eh? Try to keep your spirits up hun.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Therefore I can't have fun.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:00, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:06, Reply)

I'd become a skinny guy with a pot belly, so I've swapped out chips for salads, and started running a couple of miles each morning, and now all the laydeez want to get with me, you know what I'm saying?
It also means I can generally drink what I like, but this week - oh how I miss booze.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:13, Reply)

... depending on which antibiotics you're on.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)

But I'm using it as an excuse to try and discipline myself a bit too. In a sexy way (obv)
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:21, Reply)

In Reading.
Alt: He's married to a German! FFS. What next? Dogs having sex with cats? Sheep humping pigs (who hasn't done that eh, lads)?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Fuck knows what they were advertising
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/festival-with-kids-to-be-worst-experience-imaginable-2012062732111
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:09, Reply)

Last year at the same event some trendy parents had left/put their baby in a wheel barrow and covered it up. I sat in the wheelbarrow much to the baby's dissatisfaction.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Not a great idea having kids around that many drunk people.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:18, Reply)

I swear its all the work of the bloke who does the 'from the messageboards' section of Private Eye.
Example: 'This will lose the respect of the vast majority of Normal men and women for all things Homosexual --The Prime minister is so badly flawed with his perception of right and wrong --that we must jettison the conservative party and the effete liberal group of fools as soon as possible !---Oh and Marxist socialist Guardianista's are way past redemption in the eye's of the general public !' - Dave77
Linky for refs - www.express.co.uk/news/uk/415288/Gay-marriage-moves-step-towards-becoming-law-after-bill-clears-Parliament
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:08, Reply)

There seems to be an unhealthy pre occupation with homosexuality in government. These so called gays have come screeching out of the woodwork since sodomy was made legal.If these noisy deviants kept quiet and didnt act "gay",then no one would know about them.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:12, Reply)

..http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/415010/Gay-marriage-to-become-legal-within-days-after-Lords-drop-opposition..
'If UKIP are squeaky clean in this matter of sexual morality, they will gain 90% of the vote in 2015.
The party has two years in which to eliminate any shirt-lifters who may have infiltrated the ranks with the intention of subverting it and undermining the moral strength of the party. I hope Nigel Farage is prepared to do what the Catholic Church has done and order a total ban on any gays from becoming members. A fifth column is the one thing that the party must avoid.'
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:17, Reply)

'The Law can be changed; but the perception of homosexuality, even for gays, cannot be reconciled with that of a marriage between a man and a woman. There is an underlying resentment and anger for gays that they have been born into the wrong gender; and nothing will mitigate this. Unfortunately they are being exploited by the so-called political elite in a wicked social engineering move to destroy cherished, traditional values and norms. There is a supreme consciousness that transcends the infinitesimal intellects of men, who has inspired our traditional laws; and now we have a breed of iconoclasts who foolishly think they can change reality. By calling something which is nothing less than the prostitution of sex will not make it respectable. Ironically, in the nineteenth century; the slang word for a prostitute was "gay."
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:21, Reply)

What has pulled chorizo got to do with anything?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:07, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:24, Reply)

and forget that sometimes, some people are serious
and fucking dumb
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:27, Reply)

"squeaky clean in matters of sexual morality" yeah good luck with that one!
Why is it all right-wing politicos want to drag us bavk to the 1950s? Oh, because they can continue their cosseted, priviledged existence while trampling on the proles, no doubt.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:27, Reply)

All the same shit went on in the Fifties, just without the benefit of modern medicine. Nice, neat haircuts, though.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:31, Reply)

knitted from finest cow dung and horse hair.
by blind retards.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:32, Reply)

Well, they don't look that happy. Why would they call themselves happy when they're always upset about their rights? They've stollen the word Gay from our vacabulary, and THAT, my friend, is unforgivable.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

I love these people that say things like "It's going to cause more problems down the line!". Like what?
And "Why should gays get more rights than the rest of us?" Erm...they don't, do they? Isn't that the point?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:16, Reply)

www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/a-30-second-guide-to-how-gay-marriage-ruling-affects-you/
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:23, Reply)

I'm a straight bloke and I can't get a man to marry me.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:23, Reply)

show them something pointless, like a football, a rusty old car or a gaming console, and they cream their y-fronts.
that is NOT NORMAL.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Which is what the normal woman expects of a man, really. Obviously, if you're not a normal woman, then your opinions are going to be skewed off-kilter.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:36, Reply)

or a knackered old 1950's rustbucket with a giant steering wheel and whitewall tyres?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:37, Reply)

I want the car. Because I'm NORMAL.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

give them to OG and ensure blowies for a month?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:41, Reply)

And £500 for a pair of shoes? I don't take advantage of morons and you'd have to be one to buy them.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:42, Reply)

A modern car does me fine! No interest in football or console gaming either.
I am the perfect man - apart from the age, fatness, baldness etc.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:39, Reply)

stereotype is as stereotype does
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

i cannot bear "reality tv". i have never seen the apprentice, or big brother, or any of that shite. it's lazy lazy tv for lazy lazy people.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

They're a normally very intelligent, very well-informed person, albeit wrong of opinion most of the time.
They used the terms "diseased" and "hobby".
It was at a family gathering, and I had to walk away from it or it would have proper kicked off.
I was genuinely quite upset by their outlook and ignorance.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:34, Reply)

( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Indeed, the subsequent gossip surrounding the fallout has already.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:40, Reply)

than countering their every argument with a sympathetic look, pat on the shoulder and saying "it's okay to acknowledge the feelings you're having for other men, you're amongst friends here, we won't judge you."
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:52, Reply)

She's for it, but wanted to see a logical and intelligent reason to oppose it, as she didn't want to think her dearly departed grandfather was a massive bigot.
Turns out, he was simply a massive bigot.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:53, Reply)

They've been waiting until the bill passed, so that they can get married in a church.
Which also pisses me off.
Shit I appear to be serious internetting - my apologies. If it's any consolation I did a MASSIVE fart yesterday.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I too farted yesterday, although it was disappointingly quiet, after all the build up.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I like to clap in time, and a squeak is rubbish:
"Clap, clap, clappity clap pfft" is tantamount to telling them you're impotent.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Fuck me, it reeked.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:11, Reply)

We were at a wedding (oop nurth, it must be said) at which during the ribaldry and B4NT3R it became clear that pretty much everyone except me and Monty (cough) regularly broke wind in front of their partners - or in each other's faces etc. I just don't get it. Why on earth would you do that?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:18, Reply)

i'd NEVER do that. urgh.
some blokes do, some don't. greggshat never did, but he would text me from the pub toilets to say, "just having an unexpected shit, swipe."
RANK.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I am at a loss. You want to preserve some level of attraction to each other, surely?
Taking a power-dump with the door open and then talking about it is just not my idea of sexy. Call me weird.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:22, Reply)

When you're in a relationship, you might as well enjoy doing so.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Didn't realise it was going to smell so bad.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:24, Reply)

farts with the fan on, returns. Everybody politely ignores the incident.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Nigel Farage is a politician, therefore he is a cunt. Trufax
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Looking forward to assembling and painting (Cuprinol Seagrass)
Not sure of the protocol here, is true stuff allowed?
Edit: Ringo's a cunt. See post below.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:22, Reply)

true stuff is allowed as long as you call Ringo a cunt in the same post
Edit: \o/
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:23, Reply)

have you or have you not ever operated on someone's hand?
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Stop wasting your time on QOTW
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:52, Reply)

ever been worried. Got me you pair of bastards!
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Going to the Steven Gerrard testimonial, seeing family, then a day at the beach with friends the next day.
Should be fucking excellent.
Alt: I liked the part where he nearly died.
( , Thu 18 Jul 2013, 10:51, Reply)
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