For the love of sanity a thread where people speak the Queen's English.
I, for one, am not down with young people's bizarre lingo.

With what are you not down?


Alt: I'm quite enjoying this change in weather and I was quite enjoying the weather we had before. What do you quite enjoy that others winge endlessly about?


AltAltAlt:
Monty Boyce





( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:41, 212 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I went for Tedious Shitcunt.
But you should all vote with your conscience.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:43, Reply)

You've squewed the results now, i don't want to appear as a sycophant but I agree with your opinion.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:46, Reply)

You're welcome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I'm abstaining
As I don't want to influence people. I know how tyou all look up to me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:47, Reply)

tyou all Battered and Dozer
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)

On My Penny Farthing of Great Justice
I am taller than all of you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Where's WeeWee Tapir?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:45, Reply)

where it fucking belongs.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:48, Reply)

EXACTLY

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:49, Reply)

shut it you....
Tedious Shitcunt.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I'm not clicking that until there is an All of the Above option.
I work with a bunch of NIMBY's so I enjoy disagreeing with their whining. Latest is they are going to build houses near where a few of them live and are trying to get petitions signed on the basis that the land has lots of wildlife on it. I pointed out that once upon a time the land their houses were built on also had wildlife on and perhaps they should knock it down and turn it into a wildlife preserve. They didn't like that.
( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:49, Reply)

I find "Shut up you mindless prick" works just as well.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I quite fancy one of them, well shes got a nice arse at least so I have to be sort of nice.

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Are you sure it wasn't Kroney in drag?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:57, Reply)

She's better dressed

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:01, Reply)

"Shut up or I'll fuck you in the arse, love".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

But I want to do that

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:01, Reply)

She is unlikely to shut up being a busybody NIMBY.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:02, Reply)

with a nice arse

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Well really.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Is there not an 'All of the Above' option?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:50, Reply)

OPP :(
alt: I look at the bright side of everything, even YM
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:51, Reply)

We need an extra choice for Monty to include him being a jingle berry service depot rating numbers on a thermostatic scale. Please.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I'm not down with feathers

Alt. Enjoy living until someone can show me how whining improves life.

Al alt. Seems a nice boy, maybe a bit needy.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I dunno, those things with vaginas in them were whining about not being able to vote
and things seemed to have improved for them.
( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Tripping up a 16 hand horse doing 40mph
is hardly whining.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

NO CB CHAT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Shittin' in the birdbath, Stinky Beagle. That's a 24-oh-niner.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:52, Reply)

go to your room young man and think about what you've done.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:02, Reply)

what who
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I am most definitely not down with the fucking idiots in the general public who call me for advice.
Why are they so stupid? Why?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Because if they weren't, you'd be out of a job, dear boy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)

dea quee
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Nice

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I've got plenty of other shit to get done
These pricks just slow me down.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

NOTHING SLOWS DOWN THE TANGLE TRAIN!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

there is a hair salon in earls court called "tangles"
i thought that was a rather stupid name for a hair dresser.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Everyone knows that hairdressers need a good pun in their name.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

i've seen "hair apparent" and "curl up and dye"
and one in islington that always confused me as a student - "off to the wood".

but tangles? isn't that what you go in there to avoid?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Why would anyone want to avoid me? :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

i had to wait for fucking hours for you to fuck off before i could go to the pub last time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

Terrible bullying and untrue
We were there at the same time
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:36, Reply)

I may have a few leaves on my line today :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I refuse to be a part of this terrible bullying

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Fuck off you utter twatbollock

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:53, Reply)

OI!
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

An utter twatbollock obviously!

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I do not kowtow to portmanteau swearing
Never have, never will
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:57, Reply)

i.imgur.com/zrfSSgB.jpg
( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:00, Reply)

You might want to get Tauntaun and Godzukie checked out by a developmental specialist, mate
I think they might be a bit, you know, slow.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Thats not my kids, I thought it was a childhood pic of TH

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

this is what happens when cousins marry

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I....er...
right
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Thanks mate - that means a lot. A LOT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

*black panther salute*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Did anyone watch dispatches last night?
Really interesting wasn't it?????
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

negatory.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I missed it
I was pan handle deep in refrigerated banjo sheeting.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:56, Reply)

hahahahaha.
This one is my favourite.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:00, Reply)

No I didn't
Yes it was
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:55, Reply)

It was an undercover report about 111 providers.
their shocking revelations were along the line of.
1 if some little old lady could barely breath, but the guy on the phone didn't know what was wrong he sent an ambulance
2 People in a call center moan a lot
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:57, Reply)

If she could barely breath she shouldn't be wasting precious oxygen phoning 111 for a chat.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Oh thanks I wanted to see that but forgot about it.
I'm looking forward to that one about social networks. I loled at the fact that there is a factory in bangladesh which is purely there for people to click 'like' buttons.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I heard facebook has people working from home in bangladesh and other third world countries who review all the flagged inappropriate content.
Makes sense if you ask me.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Doesn't suprise me, it would make sense to say that whoever does it has a minimal grasp of English and Context.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I'm sure they're all grads or something.
But it's a lot of work which is really simple but that can't be automated easily, ship it out to people in india.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I've started helping out a PHP group on Facebook, and the technical ineptititude coming out of India is shocking.
Out of 100s of people, i'd probably only trust a handful to do anything other than the coding eqivolent of getting my fries.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

What was wrong with the service we had before?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:06, Reply)

NHS direct
Weellll:
1 It's number was 0845 46 47, 111 is easier to remember

2 It cost about £20 per call (this covered all expenses, like the website, health information and pandemic flu line stuff as well but still £20 a call) 111 is £7-£9

3 It was nationally commissioned and run by the Dept of Health. This didn't fit with the CCG GP lead NHS structure the coalition put in.

4 Calls weren't free
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Ignoring points 1, 3 & 4, surely spending £20 on a more effective service makes more financial sense than spending £9 on a useless service?
Or was NHS Direct just as shit?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

NHS direct was "alright" but limited in scope.
I mean alright in the sense that it hit its KPIs about 2/3rds of the time.
And yes, that does make sense if they didn't want to spend the money elsewhere.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

But now that NHS Direct has discovered the new service is too much like actual work
they want to pull out.

And GPs hate the new system.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Service is a piece of piss, compared to old 0845
Losing about £4 per call means that we can carry on until the cash reserves run out which is about 5-6months.

It's a mixture of management and commissioning failures. The more calls you can get the lower your price can be to a point (fixed costs paid for by first 200,000 calls a year) so a number of bids went in assuming we'd win more business, but we only won 1/4 of the population.

Main problem is that commissioning was purely on price rather than proven ability or "clinical excellence" which is meant to be the priority so you know, pay shit you get shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Yes.
Alt: political incorrectness.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I'm up with having 12 pockets in my new shorts.12 fact fans.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Is it based on two snooker tables?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I only have 7 in mine and all of them are wet. *sadface*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

clicking this to get it on the popular page without context

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:22, Reply)

One of our BAs just asked me for a list of files we download in one part of the system for a change request he's raised
I sent him a link to the change request he'd raised which contained a list of the files we download in that one part of the system.

He thanked me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I'm glad someone's having a great time.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Do you want a lift to Brizz?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:01, Reply)

....because after that post, you can't have one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Hey pal I voted for cheeky shitcunt
I'm on your side here.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

OK mate, soz. SOZ.

Jeez, some people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

somebody wants to snuggle in the backseat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Isn't that a Bruce Sprinsteen lyric?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Could do
I was figuring I could get the train, but to be honest "not getting the train" sounds a lot better.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Hang on a second, I've seen your car
How many people are already going to be in it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I imagine 'just Stunned' would fill up most cars
without the extra burden of passengers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:11, Reply)

It's a tiny car B3th
tiny, tiny car.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Does he have to sit in the back seat to drive it?
The man is freakishly fucking large.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

and yet has a surprisingly tiny cock
funny how life works out
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Monty has no complaints.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Do you see me laughing?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

I bet you could probably teabag battered without either of you having to sit down.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Only if he was 15 feet tall. Which he ain't!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Other way round then.
I guess I'm not down with the sex talk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:28, Reply)

Should have a new car by then.
Am test driving it on Thursday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

we should run one of these polls on where he's going to piss this time
the car would be on there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

POTD!

( Peej, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I know!!!
IT people will like it, so fuck the rest of you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Did he also refuse to get on no Goddamn plane?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:04, Reply)

*facepalms*
^ I pity the fool
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

No, no planes BA, just drink this lovely cold glass of milk.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

i like milk

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:07, Reply)

man milk! HAR HAR HAR GUFFAW ETC

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

depends on the man
the taste ranges from coconut bounty to cheesy salty acid
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Cold mushroom soup is what I heard. Not mine mind. Mine comes out like a small sugar coated tablet.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

you may be seriously dehydrated

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:23, Reply)

cold?
this isn't fucking "twilight"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:33, Reply)

was Gregg's Hat the 'coconut'?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

did you really just ask me what my ex's spunk tasted like?
i think you need to question a LOT about your life.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:33, Reply)

it was a racial slur.
Brown on the outside, white on the inside.

Not a spunk joke. A racial slur.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

That was Pina Colada, dahling.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Also depends on what they eat.
'Mens Health' magazine once recommended eating a bag of sherbert lemons for the benefit of the lady.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:22, Reply)

pineapple works wonders.
Asparagus is contraindicated.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Pineapple is rank.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

what a dumb bloke that would be
like anyone is going to suck cock when there's a delicious bag of sweets lying around
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Don't diss the BA's, they have to think for a living.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

A lot of them appear to lack the appropriate skillset then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I pity the fools.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I'm not down with all the internet bullying that goes on around here.
I mean, sure, I voted for 'Tedious Scamp', but I didn't enjoy it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Isn't it your job to clamp down on this sort of thing?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:16, Reply)

I'ma big fan of internet bullying, and bullying in general. There should be more of it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Shut up and give me your lunch money

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

^ internet fatty ^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Stunned poster, earlier

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I voted Liberal Democrat.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:19, Reply)

i like polls they allow us to quantify our dislike for people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Battered likes them more

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Only if he has his special hammer with him.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:28, Reply)

he's like Timmy Mallet, but more of a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Gets angry kicks off wing mirror
and rips off Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

you're a no fun, kill joy poo pants.
I couldn't really get involved in that thread, but I enjoyed it immensely.

Alt: I try not to enjoy anything too much, you know, just in case.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:29, Reply)

I'm not feeling so good, Windy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

maybe you'll feel better if you have a nice battered sausage and chips and then a glass of coke,
then put your feet up, put on a nice relaxing movie with a bit of comedy, like Waterworld, and just take it easy.

Or, if that's no good, then have you tried having a sit on the loo, see if something works it's way through, I'm always surprised how much better i feel after a nice poo.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:52, Reply)

i watched Water world the other day
It's still brillinat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Half an hour,Half an hour,Half an hour,Half an hour,Half an hour,Half an hour,
Still my Fav. bit
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I think the solution might be: more fruit
Unless he is already eating a lot of fruit, in which case he should maybe eat less of it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

What is the perfect amount of fruit?
I think I eat a decent amount. In fact, I have a pretty well balanced diet, all things considered. My problems come from elsewhere
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

Y'know, I don't think there is such a thing as too much fruit.
Although I do tend to poo quite often.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Thing is, I tend to counteract the laxative effects of one thing, with the stifling effect of something else
And I have a totally spastic digestive system anyway. Been in hospital with it a bunch of times.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

?????
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2031551
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:16, Reply)

He counteracts the gross things with lovely things, like puppies and flowers and that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:17, Reply)

ahhhhhh
Everyone loves puppies especially the Koreans
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:18, Reply)

I don't.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I think you are taking this vegetarian malarky too far

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Oh don't get me wrong, I'd gladly eat the stupid little shit machines.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:23, Reply)

On Sunday we had a pinic at the university grounds
Some cunts dog came charging up to us, "OH it's ok he's not dangerous" said the owner....why is it that dog owners think everybody else loves dogs and that we want their pet up in our grills?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Ah, you see that's different
I'm not disgusted or repelled by anything at all. What might happen to it once it hits my intestines is a different matter.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Weirdly, I was put in hospital by a MRM-free frankfurter
The ones with MRM in them don't seem to do me any harm....so go figure.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

I blame Jamie Oliver

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Me too
FOR BEING A MOCKNEY SHIT HEAD!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:27, Reply)

Alright, steady on
Let's not make this too personal.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I've got some problems, Windy
You know those illnesses that people get better from? I don't think it's one of those :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Well, maybe, maybe this time, maybe it'll be ok.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

If I die, make sure my assets are divided up fairly
then dumped in the north sea
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Surely it would be fairer for some to go in the North Sea, some in the English Channel and maybe just a little in the Irish Sea

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:09, Reply)

don;t encourage the potato wogs.
Speaking of which, where the hell is Theobanilitly?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Poor dead Irish Theo :(
At least, he'd better be dead and not just hanging around with those pricks on reddit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:12, Reply)

I murdered him and ate most of him
Some of the larger bones were a struggle, I'll be honest.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:12, Reply)

how do you feel about your lifeless head being fired from a cannon in to one of the rooms in buckingham palace,
preferably one where kate middleton is trying to get her freak on after 9 months of pregnancy?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:10, Reply)

That's the most moving tribute I've ever heard

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:12, Reply)

You've pulled through a few terminal illnesses in your time though
I'm sure you'll come bouncing back from this one.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:07, Reply)

I've died 4 times this year alone!
But I dunno Tangs...this one feels different.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:08, Reply)

^Divintyphile ^
so o
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

that was the best thread in AGES

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:52, Reply)

i was in a meeting, so reading it and trying not to laugh was hard work,
and then, i got out of the meeting, and it was all over. Stupid Wilf.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

fuckin ruiner

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

it's still there y'know, not closed or nuffink

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

There is no backwards, Reg.
Only forwards.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

i don't even see old threads,
just ghosts.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:05, Reply)

GNAH'
I'm making a "facebook competition" / app. They have to 'like' the client to enter the compo.

All of a sudden they're asking "How can someone enter if they don't have a facebook account?"... well, I thought it would be ovbouse that you need a facebook account to 'like' something.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:13, Reply)

I can't vote in these things so I'm gonna say tedious shittramp

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I haven't voted yet, so I can cast a vote on your behalf if you like

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:16, Reply)

all of the above please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

That was the option I wanted - that's why I didn't vote

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Clearly - CLEARLY - that last option is intended to be all of the above

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:33, Reply)

I've seen Charlie Chaplains granddaughters bum

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:28, Reply)

Kiera or Oona or Skye or Shannon or Laura?
There's probably others too.

I'm guessing Oona, since she's in Game of Thrones and everyone shows their bums in that.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Jul 2013, 13:37, Reply)