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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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new thread time
predictable questions about lunch and weekend plans here

alt: for various charity related reasons, our lovely chef here made a fantastic cake - but shaped like a big evil snake hissing out of a barrel. does the way something looks put you off scranning it?

altalt: give me one good reason why you deserve to live.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:24, 271 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Yes - blue food, for example - is always wrong.
Has anyone seen the Paxman vs Brand interview? It's fantastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)
what about blue smarties?
or the blue gummy bears in haribos?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Fatty

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
you've met me
so DUR
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Yup and you were eating pie.
Not doing yourself any favours with the stereotyping are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:39, Reply)
IT WAS A PIE PUB

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)
THAT YOU CHOSE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)
BECAUSE IT WAS NEAR A TUBE, YOU YOKEL

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)
EVERYWHERE IN LONDON IS NEAR A TUBE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:21, Reply)
I'm not.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:28, Reply)
All wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)
AltAlt. I can tie a cherry stalk in a knot with my tongue thats why.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:28, Reply)
i genuinely tried that once
i nearly swallowed it and choked :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Bad news for Lezzas who fancy Ginger fat psycho cunts then.
I however have an amazing skill and married the only woman I have ever met who doesn't like receiving (or giving for that matter) teh oral secks
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
PhillieNoBlowJoe

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Thats my talk like a pirate day name

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
quite a few of my friends don't like it
we get paranoid that it takes too long and... ick.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
we?
You're one of them aren't you. Obviously not met the right bloke I say.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:39, Reply)
it's not that it doesn't feel great
it just.... feels selfish
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Do you think the local rugby team feel selfish when you're noshing them off behind the bins?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)
no but they pay me well

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)
did you try it to impress a man that you didn't really wnt to sleep with but felt obliged after he bought dinner,
or on your own, in abject spinsterish boredom in your flat on the high road?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
on a hen do

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:37, Reply)
are hen do's as horrible to go to as they are to watch?
I've seen some proper horrible things in pubs with women in daft outfits and a desire for more cosmo.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
i've only been to one like that, and yeah, it was
most of my friends have hired cottages for the weekend or we've gone to barcelona or marbella and just got pissed
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:40, Reply)
see, when i was out in the hotelin the country, we'd get nice hen do's.
where the girls would get pretty pissed and sing a bit, maybe a little flirty, but always pretty well behaved (apart from one girl that pissed her bed, but to be fair to her, she insisted on washing it herself)
but in central Oxford, it was just unpleasant, ugly painted women, screeching dolly parton songs and trying to pull mens pants down and vomiting on everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)
we've played some games
but they are not usually hen related, just giant jenga, bouncy castle, that sort of thing.

my friend anna's bridesmaid was married to a guy who worked for PS3. he was able to code a game that asked us all questions all about her.

SHE DIDN'T WIN IT.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:53, Reply)
I thought it was a rule you had to carry around a giant inflatable penis for these things?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)
only if you're a chav

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)
So you had one then.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)
one party had penis confetti,
i still occasionally find a bit in my house, or in the car.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Aren't women fucking plebs when left to their own devices?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)
women are pretty stupid yeah.
no wonder they've been oppressed for all these years.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Hen dos are about the only thing that can possibly make
a LADS weekend to Poland to get vomitingly drunk and leer over dead-eyed Eastern European strippers seem classy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:40, Reply)
lads nights out are just irritating, and maybe a bit punchy,
they are nowehere even close to the nightmare of 20 pissed women.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)
I got trapped inside an Ann Summers party once.
Walked in when it was due to have ended. Fifty drunk middle aged Welsh hags. I had to have counselling.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)
I worked in a hotel where Ann Summers held their annual conference.
Jesus. Christ.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:53, Reply)
I don't know why, when drunk and surrounded by plastic dicks, middle-aged women suddenly seem to think
a twenty year old man is going to find them anything other than repulsive, but there you go.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)
They don't care and they outnumber you.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)
It's the closest I've come to being killed and eaten by zombies.
The reality isn't as fun as the idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Lunch will be Peroni
Weekend will be working and DIYing

Alt:
I'm the nicest one here
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Q. Does the way something looks put you off scranning it?
A. I'm the nicest one here
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:31, Reply)
he's just hoping for a nosh

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
He's come to the right place then eh readers?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
*windmills*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Alt: Yes I am put off by something looking like a block of yellowing solidified fat and also actually being that.
Altalt: Because I'm nice, and generous with everyone but myself, and a genuinely good man. TRUFAX
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:32, Reply)
you need educating in the ways of glorious cheese

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Melt that shit and I'm happy.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
but... but......... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
It is then COOKED not RAW

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
I ent begging for my life, I'll let others be the judge.
I'm basically the messiah.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:33, Reply)
i hope you die.
scruffy french IT prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
WOAH. Wind it in, Pig.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:35, Reply)
you wind it in.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
No, you wind it in.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
NO! You wind it in.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)
NO YOU WIND IT IN

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Fuckinell. Wind it in, girls.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)
shit off gout face.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)
dunno,
alt: Not really, as long as it looks like food.
altalt: No.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Morning.
Playing with new bread-maker (I have one loaf's worth of experience)

Yes, anything that looks like shellfish.

Cos I ain't ready to go yet.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Going to Asia de Cuba tonight.
Sleep the rest of the weekend.

Alt: YM. I've eaten her out.

altalt: Who's your fucking Daddy?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:37, Reply)
you're my dirty daddy donkey

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Mouldy cheese. Though that is smell and look.
Why would anyone?

altalt. I'm fucking amazing... and amazing fucking.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:39, Reply)
oh, what?
a fierce roquefort or creamy gorgonzola or buttery stilton is one of life's finest pleasures
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:42, Reply)
If they are atop a huge bloody steak.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)
^TGGI

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)
I fucking <4 (that's 1 more than <3) cheese that smells of bins.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I like mature cheeses and all but anything mouldy is an instant no no

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)
You like a blue veiner?!?!?!?!?! AMIRITE?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)
No brainer

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)
The lady asked for a reason!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)
lady?
:))
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:01, Reply)
Weekend plans
getting a dog from the rescue centre, saw him a few weeks back and the missus decided he was the one. So we were accepted but had to wait for his bollock removal stiches to be taken out.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)
click for rescue dog.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:44, Reply)
click for bollock removal

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)
I had to keep my proper "INTERNET HARDMAN" face on
To stop the good lady taking them all
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)
Yeah, I daren't go.
They would all have to come with. Except the little yappy ones.

What sort of dog is it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)
don't upset windy

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)
I will say it here
WINDY YOUR LITTLE YAPPY DOGS ARE FOR GIRLS... YOU ARE NOW BASICALLY PARIS HILTON.

see in caps as well which makes it true
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)
mine aren't yappy,
they are ridiculously small, but they get treated like dogs, and act like dogs, only tiny, and stupid looking, and unbelievably sweet.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Shut it Paris

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)
:(((

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)
do you have a "man purse" that you carry them round in?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)
a murse
the technical term is a murse
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:01, Reply)
I prefer 'marse'
No, hang on, that sounds wrong....
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:02, Reply)
why are you being horrid?
i hope your mangy new dog has abandonment issues and bites your wifes cunt off
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:02, Reply)
this really made me lol

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:03, Reply)
I think it's because you're a girl with girl dogs that you carry around in your girl purse when you go to knitting club or some shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Hahahhahahah
Touche
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Black Lab cross
about 18 months old and the quietest dog I have ever seen in a centre didn't bark once, he is a bit nervous but wants a lot of contact i.e. if he stands next to you he really leans against you.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)
Cool. Best of luck.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)
thanks mate
I think he will be fine, dogs seem to like me, possibly because I never wash the gentleman veg.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)
what make of dog??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)
Up there ^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)
Dogs are for cunts
No offence
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)
well your missus sent me a video confirming just that
All I would say is don't use any peanut butter until you have bought some more
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)
Who do you think was holding the camera?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:03, Reply)
Okay, yeah, it was me. Sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Altalt: If it comes down to whether you are deserving of life, I'm not sure many would make it.
Fortunately it doesn't work that way.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)
shittest thread in a long time
Get fucked.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:02, Reply)
OH NOW ITS IMPROVED

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:03, Reply)
immeasurably

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)
by which you mean about five feet and four inches

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:05, Reply)
It was doing just fine irregardless of your input.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:06, Reply)
preorder

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:06, Reply)
to avoid unappointment

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:07, Reply)
no milk please; I'm lactose and tolerant

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:07, Reply)
You've been that way since time and memorial.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:08, Reply)
I hate you

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)
that'll be on sunday
when you're having your third lonely crywank of the weekend
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:03, Reply)
that'll be Saturday

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:05, Reply)
now i feel bad :(

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:05, Reply)
I'm working Saturday so I'll probably only manage two :o(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:07, Reply)
no wonder you need SSRIs

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:08, Reply)
they're to stop him wanking himself to a bloody frothy stump

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)
They were there to stop me killing myself.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)
Then deleting my account.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)
It would be one if I was.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)
I wish you'd hang yourself in the same woods as mince and chimpy

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:11, Reply)
No you don't. I'm one of the few that bother to talk to you.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:17, Reply)
I really really do

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:18, Reply)
No you don't.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:23, Reply)
yes i do

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)
WHy?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)
for the sake of completion
The thicko, the knob and the SSRI prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Jealous

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:27, Reply)
of what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Your cigarette
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgxltDbSDec
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:30, Reply)
What's that gash?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)
I think full details are provided in the link

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:16, Reply)
I'm bored with you now.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:33, Reply)
The Tourettes inspired reboot of the Narnia Chronicles

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:03, Reply)
I.like cake I also like breasts.
Alt, as above.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:12, Reply)
dyaaky

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:12, Reply)
What's that mean?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:16, Reply)
delete your account and kill yourself

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:17, Reply)
i just watched that paxman brand interview.
Brand is a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I haven't seen it, but Drimble gives a good précis of it:
5.9.83.79/talk/7689610
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:17, Reply)
that is pretty much it yeah.
why do pricks love when pricks do shit like this?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
It's because pricks

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
im going to london to not meet doc frog in kensington
followed by not meeting Mince and 'Bill Clay' at the Axe in shoreditch

alt: yeah, if it looks like fucken brussel sprouts i ent eating the fuckers cos theyre shit and nasty

altalt: i know my oats
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:16, Reply)
alright Reg

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:17, Reply)
alright DOZ
im fucken fumen man. cunts've been all like 'aw reg you funny fucker you, you aint going to no baysh. and im like well, i fucken am and i dont need no wrinkly cunt transforming fruit for me neither. now cunts're dropping like flies and theres no cunt to verify that im a man of my fucken word
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:20, Reply)
I'm in Londres next Friday, maybe we could not meet for a pint and some heavy petting?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:21, Reply)
nah, once a year in the smokes enough for me
and, er, are you really not getting any at the mo DOZ, cos your sounding kinda desperate
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
I'm gonna go to Dirty Burger at Vauxhall tomorrow.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)
3pm so i can out you for the fraud you so clearly are

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:27, Reply)
I am gonna go there. And I'm taking photos to prove what a prick I am when you don't turn up.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Don't forget to post your baysh pics to the bayta flickr pool

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:28, Reply)
If someone tells me how to post pics on here i'll post a couple at 3pm of me all alone outside dirty burger

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:34, Reply)
'thanks'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:35, Reply)
too fucken right man
REG@S SOLO BAYSH 2013

one for the fucken ages man

might rethink the title a bit, mind
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:38, Reply)
so basically you
wanking into a sock

and calling it a burger
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:51, Reply)
no
imma having a day out in london with a toy skellington in place of mince and doc and bill and imma make a photo story for the baysh pool
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:56, Reply)
i dint iron my pepe le pew tshirt for nothing y'know

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Ham and pea soup.
It ent all that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Sounds a bit northern

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:22, Reply)
kno wot i sed about the kooks?
I woznt been serius
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:24, Reply)
i kno u luv me really
xxx
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:26, Reply)
i gazzed your dronefolk yurt hop caterwauling to rory, Happy Phantom, Legless and Baldmonkey

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Cool
At least three of those people have no idea who I am
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:29, Reply)
they do now
Yurtles P and the Yoghurt Weaving Five.

Performing drone folk versions of pop hits from June 24th 1999.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Yeah.
Probably why it doesn't agree with me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:31, Reply)
what, no big pissed up lunch today?
not like you!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:34, Reply)
Nah. I'm a changed man!
Soup at my desk!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Working tonight, working tomorrow.
Boring, as usual.
Alt: yeah, I'm a right fussy eater. If it looks 'icky', I'm not touching it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I feel sick.
Went to the caff for a breakfast because a Friday lunchtime fry-up is just the ticket usually. Unfortunately it didn't quite hit the spot, so I got a sausage baguette as well.

I now have the meat sweats.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:53, Reply)
You animal.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 12:54, Reply)
My little Android phone's getting an upgrade!
It's like Christmas.

Im going to put this on ALL SOCIAL MEDIA APPS like them cunts wih iphones did.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:03, Reply)
I'm being baked a cake this evening :)))

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:03, Reply)
poo cake?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:06, Reply)
coffee cake.
Apparently doris bakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Coffee cake is shit.
See also, fruit cake.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:08, Reply)
I lurves the coffee cake.
Diabetes says no.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:09, Reply)
You're a mouth wrong.
You're nearly as bad as swipe. I bet you like Christmas pudding and all.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:09, Reply)
You have ginger taste buds as well as hair.
Shit, wrong and unwelcome.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:10, Reply)
As long as she doesn't spoil it by adding walnuts

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:11, Reply)
What is the matter with all you online spastics?
It's a wonder any of you made it to adulthood being such fussy little whinging pricks.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:12, Reply)
I'm not being fussy, I'm expressing a preference

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:16, Reply)
A preference for being a fussy bitch.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:16, Reply)
I have no problem with walnuts on their own, but I think they ruin coffee cakes

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:18, Reply)
Right. It's a fight, then.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:20, Reply)
I like my coffee cake with walnuts.
Thx.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:22, Reply)
Finally some sense.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:23, Reply)
The corrrect response for this
Is to scuttle your missus on the sofa and as you reach the vinegars start singing...

"I KNEW YOU WERE COMING COS YOU BAKED A CAKE"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:13, Reply)
I don't really know what this means.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:17, Reply)
what a 1940's pop reference too good for you eh...
edit: 1950's
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:24, Reply)
Donkey punch her
and spray man juice in her womb.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:24, Reply)
They love that, don't they

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:25, Reply)
But she's already baking me a cake.
What do I need to stick her for?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:27, Reply)
They expect it

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:32, Reply)
They can't get enough of it.
They stops me on the street and ask, "Daddy Stunned, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease Donkey Punch me and spray your magnificent man fluid in my dry womb".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Those cheeky kids, eh

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Cheeky, sexy kids.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:31, Reply)
My ciabatta is rising as we speak.
Can you see what it is yet?
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:26, Reply)
My ciabatta is rising at the thought of your ciabatta rising.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Prove it.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:28, Reply)
My missus got me bread baking stuff for my birthday
including one of those dough cutters I felt well professional
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Mines only in a machine I just got.
Stick milk, olive oil and ciabatta mix in a box, switch on and 3 hrs later a crackin' loaf and all the smell that goes with it.
It's fucken witchcraft.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:32, Reply)
It's not baking unless it involves getting your hands dirty and covered in dough, and an oven.
BREAD MACHINES IS CHEATING!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:34, Reply)
you all sound like fags

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:35, Reply)
At least my shit's not retarded.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:37, Reply)
mine was more of a puddle today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:40, Reply)
TGGI^
She offered to buy me a bread machine but I actually enjoy the process
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:36, Reply)
I realise this but I tried the trad way
and ended up staying in for a week 'cos I couldn't touch any door handles.
This way is lazy but the bread's as good.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Have you considered killing yourself?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Yeah but with a bread machine
it's a slow process.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I though it was only Geordie Jay who liked the smell of Russell Hobbs.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:35, Reply)
and men's cocks.
And arses.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Hobbs Grant
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:38, Reply)
I think he would be more a Tovey fan

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Do I really knead to?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Only if you can rise to it.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Whatever you want, my flour.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Ok, I'll get the butter
You kneed it when you're a bit crusty.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:39, Reply)
You've ruined it now.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Sorry, that was a bit half baked.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:46, Reply)
D'ough!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Watch out for him, he always takes the path of yeast resistance

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I has stinkyfoot cheese pickles, cherry tomatoes and 'artisan' bread.
Basically middle class brown unsliced loaf with bits on the top. What a fucking stupid term for bread.
Weekend is a Black History all day thing tomorrow and a all day gig thing on Sunday. And the juicer tonight, for some artisan farmhouse scrumpy.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Sounds like a Japanese scribbler.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Did black people have history before they were enslaved by the white devil?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Yeah, but they keep it to themselves as they can't fucking moan about it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:42, Reply)
I only think of black history in those terms.
I have some research to do.

TO THE STUNNED CAVE!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:46, Reply)
Pub?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Iapprove.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I had fish and chips and now I feel sick.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:39, Reply)
You say it like it's a result Doc.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Well, they set me a challenge by giving me a bit of cod the size of kroney's head, and I won.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:41, Reply)
a cod the size of a stickleback?
Blimey.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Say cod round here and they sneer at you.
Addicks is the king according to the locals.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:45, Reply)
They all Charlton fans?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:47, Reply)
fuck me that took some working out

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I don't get it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I never do.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I think he means haddock
in a bad cockeneneneneney accent
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I don't mind a bit of pollock.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I had fish n' chips and I don't feel sick.
So I do believe I WIN this conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Absolutely not.
I feel sick because I ate more than you, I WIN
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:53, Reply)
You are both cunts. Let's call it a tie.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Thanks Judge Meldrew

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:56, Reply)
4291

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:57, Reply)
I don't belieeeeeeve you remembered that.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Back to Bonzo's dog.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Greedy, fat, spotty, toadfaced, smells of vomit cunt.
How are you?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Fine thanks, you sad old pathetic bastard of a man with the spelling skills of daniel petka post traumatic death.
You?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 13:58, Reply)
i love fish & chips

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)
You should have said. I fucking bought them for everyone else here. Not 'here', I mean actually here, where I am.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Where's Battered to tell us to start a new thread?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:06, Reply)
There:s a little bit of Battered in all of us.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Fuck off prick

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)
New thread chaps
Couldn't find Batty
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 25 Oct 2013, 14:16, Reply)

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