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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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ONLY 15 SLEEPIES TILL CHRIZZYPIEPOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 8:54, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've got to do a full week this week :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Your 9:30 to 4 pissing about on here is hardly work.
How was your weekend? Did a ceiling baby shit on you?
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)

It's terrible, I've been awake since Thursday

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Addict^

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:22, Reply)

+ System
WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING CRAP?
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I just don't *feel* very Christmassy, you know?

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Ho ho ho. Is that better?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Not really but thanks for trying.

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Stick your fingers in a toaster then.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:12, Reply)

And people wonder why I don't *feel* Christmassy

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Try wrapping your hand in Holly and fisting yourself
Get that Christmas feeling deep inside
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Willoughby?

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)

shove some tinsel down your cockend and shit out some baubles

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I got it the wrong way round and now have a glittering 'tail'

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Morning chaps

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:09, Reply)

morning rubyporto
I got a nice bottle of tawny port at the weekend.
It's officially nearly Christmas now.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:18, Reply)

2l of gin and 45 bottles of Stella
Stocking up nicely
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Owl bet you it was tasty

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:23, Reply)

you must be barny making puns like that

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I bet he thought it was a hoot

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Twit

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Whoo?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Morning all
I'll be having each Monday off now until Xmas due to having to take my remaining holiday before the year end.
So! What to do on a Monday?*

*After the 'wanking like a demented chimp' obviously.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Drink heavily and slit your wrists in the woods?
Try taking a packet of aspirin first to thin the blood
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)

I'm feeling the love

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:29, Reply)

*applies more lube*

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Last full week of work before Chrimble
*Pukes rainbows*
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Careful you'll have Rory come over looking for his pot of gold

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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Your Christmas username is excellent

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:32, Reply)

I did that cos I'm the best one here

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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:33, Reply)

You appear to be "here" more again

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I think the new job fell through, so he pretends to his wife that he's going to work in the morning, then spends the day sitting in his car crying and reading b3ta

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)

tggi

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:42, Reply)

ssssssssh

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Yes, it is. I can't remember how or why the conversation in which Nakers coined it came up,
but I wouldn't have done any better.
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Was it not just a standard spack-handed typing Nakersism?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Probably.
I could search, but meh.
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I plan to sleep 16 times before the 25th thanks

(

Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I plan to sleep with your mum 16 times before the 25th thanks

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Is that all?

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Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Be fair, she's got to get around a lot of us between now and then.

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Frogcock made a valid point earlier. When is it legal to feel Chrismassy?
My local is now opening at 9am for the 'breakfast' trade, so maybe About 9.05.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there are no laws regarding this trivial matter.

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:58, Reply)

you'd be wrong
that's £500 please. plus vat.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Sounds about right.
I'm actually glad i spunked up for a brief. I was going to represent myself but after the first court session I realise how hard it would have been.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:10, Reply)

yep
it always makes me LOL when people on fb or b3ta etc look up a bit of law on Wikipedia and think they know it all. it's like muppets who design their own houses. why do they think architects need 9 years of training, if anyone can do it?

people suck.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:15, Reply)

It makes me LOL when people do a law conversion course only to spend their life doing menial conveyancing jobs, being constantly passed over for promotion in favour of male colleagues and thinking that you can legislate against feeling 'Christmassy'

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)

Don't put yourself down, you ARE a lawyer.

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)

My tutor at school once described me as a barrack room lawyer

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:06, Reply)

And a bit of a knob.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Which bit?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)

The helmet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)

+tips

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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Did I say lawyer? I meant gay prick. I always get them mixed up!

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)

aren't you dead yet?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:16, Reply)

He should be. You've probably given him enough communicable diseases.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:17, Reply)

the only things he'd catch off me would be brains and a faint whiff of jo malone

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Why would I be dead?

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:17, Reply)

i'm working on it

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Aha! you expect me to die of boredom. That makes sense.
You are doing a good job.
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:21, Reply)

i preferred you depressed and miserable :(

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I am heading back there soon because of all the waiting around I have to do.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

if you want to catch a shooting star...

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)

Are we to read into this subtly coded conversation that you haven't shagged him yet?

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:30, Reply)

All rory's jibes about not putting out on the first date must be having some effect.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:31, Reply)

is he still stepped?
poor old lepery-chaun
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)

Why is he stepped?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:39, Reply)

none of us know
it's a mystery
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:45, Reply)

Actually it's a reference to the fact the she is FUCKING LATE FOR EVERYTHING

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:32, Reply)

it was very subtle

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)

So's your face

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:39, Reply)

Everyone's being a grumpy boots today.
Rubbish.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)

Piss off.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:12, Reply)

:(

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

I personally am in a good mood.
I had a quiet weekend which after last week was welcome. I am going to Edinburgh tomoz and have my departmental b4sh on Thursday.

I have bought all presents and merely have to wrap them. And I get paid on Friday.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:13, Reply)

what did you get for me?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Nothing. Hahahahahaha!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

i despise you

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Awww man! We got her the same thing! I hope she wants two 'nothings'

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)

Got room in her flat for double nowt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Well it's only half a flat innit so space is at a premium

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

Which room did she let you into?

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Just the hall way, everything else is locked. EVERYTHING.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)

in his dreams?

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)

YOU ARE A PAIR OF NOTHINGS

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)

YOU HAVE A PAIR OF NOTHINGS

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

I have FULL HOUSE.
YAHTZEE!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)

I can recommend an excellent french restaurant in Edinburgh if you're interested.

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)

I went to the Gary Rhodes restaurant he had in Edinburgh ages ago
It were well nom
(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Am only there for 6 hours.
9am/4.45pm flights.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

This is good to hear.
I need to finish my present-buying. Might do so today.
(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Why does 'departmental b4sh' sound like a wank in the toilets?

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Because that's what it is.

(

Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

So what makes that different from any other Thursday?

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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)

The department will be cheering me on.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:30, Reply)

Are you being sponsored?

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:31, Reply)

Yeah.
By Swarfega.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)

So as I have now met two more of you OT guys I must also review the meeting.
I went out for drinks with Stunned Poster, Light in Chains, Battered and Monty (4EvaInRHarts)

Battered was so tiny I didn't even notice he was there (i.e. didn't fucking show up and made some bollocks excuse about work, which was worse than the B3th excuse) . LIC bought his fair share of rounds and didn't hide in the toilet or anything. Monty and I got drunk, stole one of Stunned's shoes and sailed it down the Thames.
(

Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

bloody work do
I am sorry I missed this :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Yeh yeh,
You, Gonz, Battered, I can take a fucking hint.
(

Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Oh, that's alright then.

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)

We're not.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)

shut it, floppy

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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)

I must've missed my invitation

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)

I went on about it enough on here
Enough that the three of them invited themselves.
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Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Exactly.
Invites are for losers!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)

I was busy anyway

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)

'Course you were, treaks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)

I put the tree up last night, so I should be feeling xmassy
but I'm not.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)

Up what?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)

Wahey!

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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)

*pricklypisslols*
Story of my life.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)

didnt touch the sides then?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)

1 week until
LET'S. PLAY. DARTS.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Come on Tim!

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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:42, Reply)

I've got to think of a darts name. And entrance music.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Knob J Ockey
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Knob J'oche.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)

The Toeminator?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

HARRY PLOPPER
and that wow wow wooooooow sound as your darts plop to the floor after striking the wall around the board
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

What's that song that was in Trainspotting that starts "lager, lager'lager". Born Slippy?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:53, Reply)

yes
god, I would bring popcorn and a comfy armchair to watch you walk into the studio to play darts to the sound of that...
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:57, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o-9_J_Cc2w
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Today is the first day I've actually felt like Christmas.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:44, Reply)

What did you feel like yesterday?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Easter

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Not Christmas.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:55, Reply)

I'm serious though, its not 15 sleepies till chrizzypiepops

(

Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:45, Reply)

It is for me because I plan on not sleeping at least one night. It might only be 14.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Don't you have your chrizzypiepops on Christmas Eve then?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:47, Reply)

No, I work Christmas eve
HUMBUG!
(

Peej, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:49, Reply)

I'm finishing next Wednesday.

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:50, Reply)

Your life? *crosses fingers*

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)

Saving that for Christmas morning
My present to the wife.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)

too much wacky baccy
it's made him wakki
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Does anyone open presents on Christmas Eve?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Hell no.
11am on Christmas Day. Anything else is for scum.
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Why 11am?

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

Because doing it any earlier ain't genteel
and waiting any longer means you'll probably have extended family around. Awkward.
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)

I do when I come in pissed from the pub and tear open the stuff people have given me that I'm supposed not to open until Xmas day.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)

We do. German innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:08, Reply)

Typical Jew.
Can't wait to get your hands on things.
(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Hurry up, already.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I opened your mum's flaps last Christmas Eve

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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)

I heard she got her hands all over Santa's sack.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)

we used to have fancy christmas eve presents and then midnight mass and dinner
before my brother and I fucked off to the pub and my parents got pissed and put out all the presents for Christmas day.

it's VERY UNLUCKY to open presents before you are meant to...
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Mass?
Are you a left footer?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:23, Reply)

You used to be

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:25, Reply)

you've seen my colouring and you know my name
do you think there might just be a LOT of irish catholic in there?!
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:26, Reply)

So you are finally accepting that your hair is ginger?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)

that's scotland
Ireland is brunette with green eyes, you eejit
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Hahahaha absolute gash

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Thats ginger

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)

^^TGGI

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:40, Reply)

^ ginger ^

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Redheads constitute approximately 4% of the European population.[11] Scotland has the highest proportion of redheads; 13% of the population has red hair and approximately 40% carries the recessive redhead gene.[12] Ireland has the second highest percentage; as many as 10% of the Irish population has red, auburn, or strawberry blond hair.[
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:58, Reply)

You had dinner and then went to the pub after midnight mass?
Manchester is an odd place.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

midnight mass is celebrated at 6.30pm as well as midnight

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)

100% irish

(

sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Asos fucked up a delivery and now some presents are out of stock.
Fuckers.

2 weeks of work left.

Fuckers.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:19, Reply)

That's alright, I didn't use ASOS.
Thanks, though.
(

Kroney, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:20, Reply)

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