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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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ONLY 15 SLEEPIES TILL CHRIZZYPIEPOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 8:54, 162 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I've got to do a full week this week :(

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Your 9:30 to 4 pissing about on here is hardly work.
How was your weekend? Did a ceiling baby shit on you?
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)
It's terrible, I've been awake since Thursday

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Addict^

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:22, Reply)
+ System
WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING CRAP?
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:30, Reply)
I just don't *feel* very Christmassy, you know?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Ho ho ho. Is that better?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Not really but thanks for trying.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Stick your fingers in a toaster then.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:12, Reply)
And people wonder why I don't *feel* Christmassy

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Try wrapping your hand in Holly and fisting yourself
Get that Christmas feeling deep inside
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Willoughby?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)
shove some tinsel down your cockend and shit out some baubles

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I got it the wrong way round and now have a glittering 'tail'

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Morning chaps

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:09, Reply)
morning rubyporto
I got a nice bottle of tawny port at the weekend.
It's officially nearly Christmas now.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:18, Reply)
2l of gin and 45 bottles of Stella
Stocking up nicely
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Owl bet you it was tasty

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:23, Reply)
you must be barny making puns like that

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:50, Reply)
I bet he thought it was a hoot

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Twit

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Whoo?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Morning all
I'll be having each Monday off now until Xmas due to having to take my remaining holiday before the year end.
So! What to do on a Monday?*



*After the 'wanking like a demented chimp' obviously.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Drink heavily and slit your wrists in the woods?
Try taking a packet of aspirin first to thin the blood
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:14, Reply)
I'm feeling the love

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:29, Reply)
*applies more lube*

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:31, Reply)
Last full week of work before Chrimble
*Pukes rainbows*
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Careful you'll have Rory come over looking for his pot of gold

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Your Christmas username is excellent

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:32, Reply)
I did that cos I'm the best one here

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:33, Reply)
You appear to be "here" more again

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:38, Reply)
I think the new job fell through, so he pretends to his wife that he's going to work in the morning, then spends the day sitting in his car crying and reading b3ta

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)
tggi

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:42, Reply)
ssssssssh

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Yes, it is. I can't remember how or why the conversation in which Nakers coined it came up,
but I wouldn't have done any better.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Was it not just a standard spack-handed typing Nakersism?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Probably.
I could search, but meh.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)
I plan to sleep 16 times before the 25th thanks

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:42, Reply)
I plan to sleep with your mum 16 times before the 25th thanks

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Is that all?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Be fair, she's got to get around a lot of us between now and then.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Frogcock made a valid point earlier. When is it legal to feel Chrismassy?
My local is now opening at 9am for the 'breakfast' trade, so maybe About 9.05.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:48, Reply)
I'm no lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there are no laws regarding this trivial matter.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 9:58, Reply)
you'd be wrong
that's £500 please. plus vat.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:01, Reply)
Sounds about right.
I'm actually glad i spunked up for a brief. I was going to represent myself but after the first court session I realise how hard it would have been.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:10, Reply)
yep
it always makes me LOL when people on fb or b3ta etc look up a bit of law on Wikipedia and think they know it all. it's like muppets who design their own houses. why do they think architects need 9 years of training, if anyone can do it?

people suck.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:15, Reply)
It makes me LOL when people do a law conversion course only to spend their life doing menial conveyancing jobs, being constantly passed over for promotion in favour of male colleagues and thinking that you can legislate against feeling 'Christmassy'

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)
Don't put yourself down, you ARE a lawyer.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:02, Reply)
My tutor at school once described me as a barrack room lawyer

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:06, Reply)
And a bit of a knob.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Which bit?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)
The helmet.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)
+tips

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:12, Reply)
Did I say lawyer? I meant gay prick. I always get them mixed up!

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)
aren't you dead yet?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:16, Reply)
He should be. You've probably given him enough communicable diseases.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:17, Reply)
the only things he'd catch off me would be brains and a faint whiff of jo malone

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Why would I be dead?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:17, Reply)
i'm working on it

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Aha! you expect me to die of boredom. That makes sense.
You are doing a good job.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:21, Reply)
i preferred you depressed and miserable :(

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I am heading back there soon because of all the waiting around I have to do.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)
if you want to catch a shooting star...

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)
Are we to read into this subtly coded conversation that you haven't shagged him yet?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:30, Reply)
All rory's jibes about not putting out on the first date must be having some effect.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:31, Reply)
is he still stepped?
poor old lepery-chaun
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)
Why is he stepped?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:39, Reply)
none of us know
it's a mystery
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Actually it's a reference to the fact the she is FUCKING LATE FOR EVERYTHING

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:32, Reply)
it was very subtle

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)
So's your face

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:39, Reply)
Everyone's being a grumpy boots today.
Rubbish.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:11, Reply)
Piss off.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:12, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
I personally am in a good mood.
I had a quiet weekend which after last week was welcome. I am going to Edinburgh tomoz and have my departmental b4sh on Thursday.

I have bought all presents and merely have to wrap them. And I get paid on Friday.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:13, Reply)
what did you get for me?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Nothing. Hahahahahaha!

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
i despise you

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Awww man! We got her the same thing! I hope she wants two 'nothings'

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)
Got room in her flat for double nowt.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Well it's only half a flat innit so space is at a premium

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Which room did she let you into?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Just the hall way, everything else is locked. EVERYTHING.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)
in his dreams?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)
YOU ARE A PAIR OF NOTHINGS

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)
YOU HAVE A PAIR OF NOTHINGS

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I have FULL HOUSE.
YAHTZEE!
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I can recommend an excellent french restaurant in Edinburgh if you're interested.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:14, Reply)
I went to the Gary Rhodes restaurant he had in Edinburgh ages ago
It were well nom
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Am only there for 6 hours.
9am/4.45pm flights.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
This is good to hear.
I need to finish my present-buying. Might do so today.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Why does 'departmental b4sh' sound like a wank in the toilets?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Because that's what it is.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)
So what makes that different from any other Thursday?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:28, Reply)
The department will be cheering me on.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Are you being sponsored?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:31, Reply)
Yeah.
By Swarfega.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:33, Reply)
So as I have now met two more of you OT guys I must also review the meeting.
I went out for drinks with Stunned Poster, Light in Chains, Battered and Monty (4EvaInRHarts)

Battered was so tiny I didn't even notice he was there (i.e. didn't fucking show up and made some bollocks excuse about work, which was worse than the B3th excuse) . LIC bought his fair share of rounds and didn't hide in the toilet or anything. Monty and I got drunk, stole one of Stunned's shoes and sailed it down the Thames.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
bloody work do
I am sorry I missed this :(
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Yeh yeh,
You, Gonz, Battered, I can take a fucking hint.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
Oh, that's alright then.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)
We're not.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:20, Reply)
shut it, floppy

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)
I must've missed my invitation

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I went on about it enough on here
Enough that the three of them invited themselves.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Exactly.
Invites are for losers!
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:24, Reply)
I was busy anyway

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:25, Reply)
'Course you were, treaks.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)
I put the tree up last night, so I should be feeling xmassy
but I'm not.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Up what?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Wahey!

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:27, Reply)
*pricklypisslols*
Story of my life.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)
didnt touch the sides then?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:29, Reply)
1 week until
LET'S. PLAY. DARTS.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:41, Reply)
Come on Tim!

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:42, Reply)
I've got to think of a darts name. And entrance music.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Knob J Ockey
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Knob J'oche.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)
The Toeminator?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)
HARRY PLOPPER
and that wow wow wooooooow sound as your darts plop to the floor after striking the wall around the board
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)
What's that song that was in Trainspotting that starts "lager, lager'lager". Born Slippy?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:53, Reply)
yes
god, I would bring popcorn and a comfy armchair to watch you walk into the studio to play darts to the sound of that...
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:57, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o-9_J_Cc2w
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Today is the first day I've actually felt like Christmas.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:44, Reply)
What did you feel like yesterday?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Easter

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Not Christmas.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I'm serious though, its not 15 sleepies till chrizzypiepops

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:45, Reply)
It is for me because I plan on not sleeping at least one night. It might only be 14.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Don't you have your chrizzypiepops on Christmas Eve then?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:47, Reply)
No, I work Christmas eve
HUMBUG!
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:49, Reply)
I'm finishing next Wednesday.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Your life? *crosses fingers*

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Saving that for Christmas morning
My present to the wife.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)
?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:52, Reply)
too much wacky baccy
it's made him wakki
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Does anyone open presents on Christmas Eve?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Hell no.
11am on Christmas Day. Anything else is for scum.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Why 11am?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Because doing it any earlier ain't genteel
and waiting any longer means you'll probably have extended family around. Awkward.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I do when I come in pissed from the pub and tear open the stuff people have given me that I'm supposed not to open until Xmas day.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:07, Reply)
We do. German innit.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Typical Jew.
Can't wait to get your hands on things.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Hurry up, already.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I opened your mum's flaps last Christmas Eve

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I heard she got her hands all over Santa's sack.

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:16, Reply)
we used to have fancy christmas eve presents and then midnight mass and dinner
before my brother and I fucked off to the pub and my parents got pissed and put out all the presents for Christmas day.

it's VERY UNLUCKY to open presents before you are meant to...
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:21, Reply)
Mass?
Are you a left footer?
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:23, Reply)
You used to be

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:25, Reply)
you've seen my colouring and you know my name
do you think there might just be a LOT of irish catholic in there?!
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:26, Reply)
So you are finally accepting that your hair is ginger?

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:30, Reply)
that's scotland
Ireland is brunette with green eyes, you eejit
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Hahahaha absolute gash

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Thats ginger

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:38, Reply)
^^TGGI

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:40, Reply)
^ ginger ^

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Redheads constitute approximately 4% of the European population.[11] Scotland has the highest proportion of redheads; 13% of the population has red hair and approximately 40% carries the recessive redhead gene.[12] Ireland has the second highest percentage; as many as 10% of the Irish population has red, auburn, or strawberry blond hair.[
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:58, Reply)
You had dinner and then went to the pub after midnight mass?
Manchester is an odd place.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)
midnight mass is celebrated at 6.30pm as well as midnight

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:32, Reply)
100% irish

(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:37, Reply)
Asos fucked up a delivery and now some presents are out of stock.
Fuckers.

2 weeks of work left.

Fuckers.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:19, Reply)
That's alright, I didn't use ASOS.
Thanks, though.
(, Mon 9 Dec 2013, 11:20, Reply)

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