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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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BARGAIN CUNTIn honour of turning up in Morrisons to be greeted by SO MUCH BREAD last night, tell me tales of your finest bargains
Alt:
Worst Valentines day
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:43,
152 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Alt: last year wasn't good. We both knew the marriage was over, but we were still living under the same roof. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:45,
Reply)
Slightly tricky when we were sleeping in separate rooms. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:47,
Reply)
It didnt have to be with herThat would have made her really angry
(, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:10, Reply)
Ripe banana, 15p, this morning \o/Also I have saved loads of money on valentines day this year by sending a text instead of a card. The wonders of the digital age.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
'To the world's fattest carrot on Valentines Day, you'd better put out tonight, otherwise you're getting a slap. xx'(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:52,
Reply)
Well, like that, but in text speak"GLL HPY V DAY FRM D"
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:54,
Reply)
Pro tip*: Dump her before any special occasions, valentines, christmas, birthdays, etc. for massive savings on cards and presents*borrowed from Cavy's ex
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:53,
Reply)
But then I miss out too, I mean I have done pretty well Xmas and birthday-wise, I'll see what happens today then I can plan for next year (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
Nice to see you are hanging in there for the presentsYou are the Anna Nicole Smith to Swipeys Howard J Marshall
(, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:11, Reply)
Mine was "Happy Fucking Valentines xx <3"(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
I got noshed off about the bins behind a pizza placeand it only cost me the price of a pint of coke.
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:50,
Reply)
I got Abbatoir Blues/Lyre of Orpheus on double vinyl from amazon for only five quid, that was a pretty good bargain.Alt: When I was about 10 I really liked a girl in my class, so my older sister thought it would be funny to send me a fake valentine card from her.
I was gutted when I found out the truth :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:51,
Reply)
It's all been downhill from there (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:52,
Reply)
£6 smoked salmon reduced to £1which was then on buy 1 get 1 free
\o/
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:54,
Reply)
Look how brilliant Cov is!www.theguardian.com/travel/2014/feb/12/top-20-family-friendly-museums-galleries-uk
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 9:58,
Reply)
That is due to the smell and your hideous visage(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
I've bought steaks for 75p before, but the best was either the pork belly for £1, or the duck breasts for about £1.20Tesco at about 7pm can sometimes be wonderful
Alt: Don't tend to pay it much attention
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:01,
Reply)
Just peel back the "Tescos Finest" label to reveal the "M&S Everyday Value" label(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Far better straight from the meat counter than from the pre-packed stuff, though(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
For the Alt I thought I might make a serious post.I had been with the girl a couple of years. Tall, blonde, great body, filthy in bed, used to make naked photos and videos and send them to me in the post. got on well and I thought everything was going great.
On valentines day I handmade her a dozen red roses, took her shopping and in the evening took her to her favourite restaurant and bought her a £120 bottle of wine. Things seemed to be amazing and I was hoping the day would end as well as it had been going until we got the the station to board a train back to my place in Surrey. She said "Look Phil I came over because its really not working and I want to break up" she then got on her Train back to Bath. a few weeks later she phoned me in tears because she had got with a guy and realised she still wanted me, I told her to get fucked. She tried to get me back several times over the next few months but I started fucking her best mate so needless to say....
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:06,
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Typical slag, taking all the loveliness then drop kicking you in the nads.I hope she got syphillis off her other bloke.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Shes lucky the pictures of her with spunk all over her face didn't end up on the webMind you it was 10 years ago now i'm not bitter anymore. Still have the pics and vids though.
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:14,
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So they still could...*checks PJ's facebook*
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
After ten years?! Physical evidence?Mine are all in the wank bank
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:30,
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You said she used to make these pictures and send them to you.So the guy who spunked on her face wasn't you.
Think I'd have been suspicious right there.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
There were several pictures. I'm pretty sure the spunk was mine. I took the picture(
Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:34,
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You handmade the roses?What are you, God or something?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:10,
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Out of fancy handmade paper and wire. I sewed them together and everything, took me hours, each petal was hand made.(
Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:12,
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All that effortand he didn't even get an over the trousers handyJ
(, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:14, Reply)
Yeah it's a bit weird, I would've dumped you an' all(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:15,
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Phil, honey, I can change...(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:19,
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you know you can get roses made out of bacon?yeah, that's a thing now.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:17,
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Tell me you drank the wine(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:10,
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In the resturant, yup, at that point I thought everything was going fine(
Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:13,
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so needless to say, i fucked her rotten in my honda accord because she was a supermodel?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:13,
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Sally? Nah, massive great tits and a lovely body but her face.......Does anyone remember that advert for the first playstation?
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Our old receptionist looked like thatReally
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I got the Slits version of I Heard it Through the Grapevine on vinyl for a couple of quid.(, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:08, Reply)
We knowBet you're wondering how
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Not had any recent bargains. I'm never in a Supermarket when they do the cheap deals.Alt. I used to have a stalker at one of the pubs I worked in. He would leave full 4 page letters at the end of the bar when I left it.
Took me ages to find out who it was. Turns out he was a bit mental, his brother informed me that he wasn't dangerous, but he did get fixations.
One valentines, the only card I got was from him :(
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
I'm making pulled pork for dinner tonightI was thinking a hilarious facebook status would be"Valentines day and the way things are going at home i'll probably be pulling my pork tonight" but I am pretty sure my wonderful wife will not take it in the good humour intended
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:12,
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I am still to make pulled pork(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Pull your finger out SportersEven I've done it. And pulled beef. I wonder if you can do pulled lamb?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
Buy it a drink first, tight fist(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
I am tempted to adapt that & post it on your FB so you don't get laid tonight. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:14,
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what, if your wife is thinking of his face?i think we all know the answer to this
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:16,
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NoBut it is going on top of burgers with homemade bourbon mayo, swiss cheese and salad.
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:16,
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happy valentines day, darlingi got you a heart attack
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:17,
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the blokehe posts on here, you met him v v briefly at bodeans
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:38,
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i put it on the facebook mail ages ago, but there were so many replies that it probably got lost!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:55,
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What do they cram in a veggie burrito?Im assuming kidney beans are overused.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:33,
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or black beans, or pinto beans, or butter beans.But yeah, Beans mainly.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:33,
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in the one near my office, i order:a wholewheat wrap, spicy black beans, roasted veg (carrots, courgettes and peppers - tofu is optional, but I hate it), mushrooms, jalapenos, sour cream, cheese and extra hot salsa.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:37,
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the fancy place i LOVE in covent garden does all sorts of fancy thingslike cactus, asparagus, designer mushrooms
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:38,
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I had cactus in a burrito. Bit like guerkin.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:39,
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yes, i wasn't sure, but then realised i'd scarfed down the whole burrito without really noticing it, the first time!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:46,
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it's an excellent burrito placethey also sell incredible salty nachos, which you are supposed to slather in salsa or guacamole, but I just like them plain.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
i loathe it, and all fake meat produceswith the sole exception of quorn mince, which is actually extremely tasty in a chilli or lasagne etc
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:45,
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I like the Quorn chicken. Quorn mince is just not nice.It's like turkey mince.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:51,
Reply)
*sighs*I would have thought the mince would be right up your alley
(, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Its the texture, slimey. Blurgh. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:55,
Reply)
Weren't you extolling the virtues of oysters the other day?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:01,
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Oddly enough thats what i'm having tonight.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:19,
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I had one last week, so that's me sorted for febuary.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:08,
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alt: the year the school chaplain thought it would be a good idea to pass around a couple of buckets in assembly, for people to put in their valentines notes, and for him to read them out loudof course, a group of teenagers took that in the spirit it was intended. about half my friends had their secret crushes revealed cruelly to the whole of the school.
i got away with it, which was surprisingly lucky, given that about 30 people told me later they had written a lovenote from me to the (spectacularly bent) history teacher i was shamelessly in love with.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
You had the last laugh as the chaplain had done Dale Steaks for tea? (, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:21, Reply)
Its when you win Supermarket Sweep(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
Them horrid frozen ones I think. Horrid.Say it with me.
Horrid.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
I'm celebrating Valentine's Day by going to see Dream Theatre with my friend, while our wives get drunk together (and hopefully lez up).(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
I can imagine they are pretty fantastic live.Though I can also imagine the crowd not really moving much and just gently swaying as they stare at all the widdling fingers flying around the guitars and keyboards.
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Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Yer - their stuff does strike me as quite geeky.My mate's a muso - plays in a brass band, and loves his metal. I think he's quite geeky about it, but I don't understand - I'm a drummer, and - as another friend described me - "About as musical as The Bible".
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
And Dream Theatre aren't bad either lol(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
I thought I liked Dream Theatre so I rushed out to by Train of ThoughtI listened to it once and was thoroughly bored by the end.
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Peej, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:37,
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Poor frog, no wonder he is always sad :(www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2557564/Its-official-Commuting-work-makes-miserable-spending-half-hour-bus-worst-way-travel.html
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:47,
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Everyone's miserable in the Daily Mail.Or terrorist immigrants.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:50,
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As far as I can tell they seem to be mostly actresses/singers/models that I've never heard of who wear bikinis sometimes(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:53,
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Keep your eyes to the left of the screen and there's "news"(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
metro.co.uk/2014/02/14/if-only-your-mum-was-ten-years-younger-ten-of-the-worst-valentines-day-dates-4303689/
In a nutshell: Men are bastards and women are stupid.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 10:58,
Reply)
Wait, what?metro.co.uk/2014/02/14/woman-looks-through-boyfriends-phone-finds-video-of-him-having-sex-with-her-dog-4304134/
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:03,
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He was given bail on the understanding he is not allowed to be alone with animals.
LOL.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:05,
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A curry kit 10 mins before its sell by date.Fresh ginger, coconut, curry leaves and garlic with whole spices and two packs of ground spices. It was delish. 12p
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:01,
Reply)
Start a new thread please, stumpy(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Feb 2014, 11:19,
Reply)
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