b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 2218335 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Well that's dead.
Best job you've ever had? If you could have a different job for one day what would it be? I'd like to have a crack at being a plumber.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 15:50, 281 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I like my job.
I don't want to do anything else ever.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 15:51, Reply)
current job
Alt: Sian Williams's personal podiatrist.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 15:51, Reply)
Foot fetishist?
You're well weird!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:04, Reply)

podiatrist paediatrician

^ fingers kids
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Gyno specialist eh doc

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 15:51, Reply)
he's a paediatric proctologist.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Looking at diseased minges all day would depress me.
I like nicetidy ones, everything in place.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:11, Reply)
but then you'd be out of a job.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Ive not seen a patient's minge in a long time.
Leave that to practice nurse.Seen a few grim todgers though.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Yeah sorry about THAT gaz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:34, Reply)
I enjoyed the first part of my writing career, though it got stale quite quickly, and nearly killed the pleasure of writing.
I'd like to have a crack at being a TV or movie cameraman.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:04, Reply)
I'd like you to have a jolly good attempt at suicide

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:08, Reply)
Cheer up, accountant.
Aren't you booked in for a adult baby/dungeon session tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
I've only had 3 jobs ever

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:12, Reply)
Rim, Blow and Hand

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:40, Reply)
tggi^
The holy trinity
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I really loved DJing. whether it was a bar or a nightclub. To have people dancing and enjoying the music I was playing
*cue Dozer with a trance related droll retort*

I'd like to be a lawyer for a day to see if it's more like Ally McBeal or Damages.
I'd hope for a bit of both. Murder, conspiracy and a musical.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:13, Reply)
I think it's more like long, tedious hours with long, tedious paperwork
Good pay though
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:14, Reply)
sometimes it is
sometimes it's really interesting. sometimes it's quite dramatic. sometimes you want to kill yourself. sometimes it's meetings and client entertainment and you don't see a bit of paper or a textbook all day.

it's pretty varied, which is why I like it so much.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:20, Reply)
trance is for plebs and nonces
Two birds, one stone in your case.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Two birds more than you've had.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:16, Reply)
heh
although you forgot his mum and his dad in his sunday dress
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Doesn't he stick rodents up his arse?
Or something?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:29, Reply)
just the one
the first hamster died of non-erotic asyphxiation, so now he's onto the second
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
I'd also like to be stupidly famous, just to see what all that money and "power" is like.
More than a day though.

Maybe I could be famous for being stupid. Them Essex pricks do a good job.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:18, Reply)
It's not hard to make people dance to trance though it is?
They're all pilled off their tits (especially, you know, "your kind") so you just do quiet bit, getting louder bit, getting louder bit, getting louder bit, quick pause, really loud bit, really loud bit, really loud bit, tailing off bit, tailing off bit, quiet bit, repeat.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:18, Reply)
I didn't say it was hard pet.
Also, I didn't just play trance. Depended on the venue innit.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Oh fair enough, I didn't mean to go all dozer on you.
And I don't mind trance, time and a place though innit.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:22, Reply)
Agreed. :)
I'm quite eclectic when it comes to music. I love a LOT of horrible pop shite too which is the bigger bugbear.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:25, Reply)
I think I kissed a girl and Call me maybe are two of the greatest pop songs ever written.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Call me?
Blondie?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:30, Reply)
Call me maybe
Carly Rae Jepsen
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:31, Reply)
OK Blondie

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:32, Reply)
OK Blondie?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:33, Reply)
This is turning into The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:43, Reply)
*narrows eyes*































*moves toothpick from left side of mouth to right*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:50, Reply)
Please be sarcasm...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
NO YOURNA CUNT JAYSUMM!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:42, Reply)
^ tggi

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:48, Reply)
I don't mean to bring facebook into b3ta, but he knows some right fucking thick cunts.
Someone posted a link to a joke news story about black pudding being banned for being racist and started going off at how white chocoloate should be banned too for hurting their feelings, and once it had been established that it was a joke someone else chimed in saying "well it could have been real given how extreme the government are on political correctness"

I'm genuinely astounded when I find people that actually hold such fucking retarded opinions
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Muslims have ordered a fatwa on anyone who goes to live on Mars you know.
The Daily Mail said it, so it must be true.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Yeah saw that earlier.
Think it's true?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:19, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:20, Reply)
I don't think you or the Daily Mail know what fatwa means

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:20, Reply)
i would imagine living on mars bars would make anyone fat

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Your a prime example that this is true.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:22, Reply)
fuck off
i'm going running tonight. AND I'm getting a foam roller. YEAH.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:29, Reply)
Foam rollers are the bomb diggy.
Get that bad boy on your IT band and listen to yourself scream.

I would recommend getting one of the ones with a plastic tube surrounded by foam rather than the purely foam ones.

They sell them in Sweatshop
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:31, Reply)
You should also make sure you have a tennis ball.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:31, Reply)

www.tptherapy.com/The-GRID-Foam-Roller.html
or
www.physioroom.com/product/PhysioRoom.com_Grid_Roller_15cm_x_40cm/3385/39756.html
This is a generic one
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:34, Reply)
haha we linked to the same thing!
i thought a longer one, because i also lift dumbbells lying along it, innit
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Yeah, if you can afford it (stupid comment)

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
i have some amazon vouchers that were a gift from a grateful client, innit!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, Reply)
I will buy you one if you shut the fuck up about it xx

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:44, Reply)
Fuck that, make her put her hand in her pocket for once, the tight fisted cunt.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:47, Reply)
its worth it to shut her up if but briefly

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:51, Reply)
I can think of a better way to shut her up.

Punch her really hard in the solar plexus. She won't be able to talk for at least 15 minutes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:53, Reply)
too covered in boobs

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:06, Reply)
Stupid boobs.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:14, Reply)
Ballgag works better

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:53, Reply)
the grid is the one i want
this bad bitch:

www.tptherapy.com/Shop-Online/All-TPPT-Products/The-GRID-2-0-Foam-Roller.html

it's exactly like you said, hollow in the middle. i love foam rollering my back, it clicks and feels lovely, but it's fucking AGONY on the ITB and calf muscles. although i did read the other day that you shouldn't roll the ITB, just the bits around it...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:33, Reply)
You can roll the ITB as much as you like, it helps.
I had physio on mine and the woman was putting her whole body weight along it, I nearly shed a tear.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
my right one is fine
the left one makes me weep. ditto any form of lunges or step-ups. the right side can take any weight; the left folds like a little bitch. my trainer saw the size of my handbag and said, "that's why." he tried to make me carry the bag on the other side for a bit, but i just can't. it would be like doing your shoelaces up the other way round, or wiping your arse with the wrong hand. WRONG.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, Reply)
Have you seen a physio?
I found my core muscles weren't doing anything for sideways movement of my pelvis, I had to do one legged squats looking in a mirror and concentrating on keeping my pelvis level all the way down and back up. It was worth it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
yep, had to see one when i joined my gym. as they always are, the physio was all doom and gloom
oh your hip is a fraction out of alignment, which has pulled your knee out, which has caused this to your ankle blah blah blah. I've been running and walking around this earth for many years without any pain, things can't be that bad!

i'm exaggerating a bit, i can still do the lunges etc, it's just harder on that side. but if anything hurt, i'd go like a shot. it's just not worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:41, Reply)
Trouble is, bodies a really good at compensating for problems so you don't even realise you have them.
One of my legs is slightly shorter than the other which has lead to my back being really, really tense on one side my whole life and it was only a few years ago when it suddenly went ping that I found this out and did something about it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:43, Reply)
at least you found it
and you can watch out for it in your kid, i guess. it is annoying. it's the same with any kind of weights, left to itself your body will cheat and use the join instead of the muscle or whatever is easier. stupid bodies.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:44, Reply)
Lift very heavy and then everything has to work in conjunction, no slackers when you go heavy.
Although, to go heavy you need excellent flexibility. People do end up training problems rather than making themselves fitter - i.e. dysfunction over function.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:00, Reply)
Just to be clear: I'm aware it's hooey.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:26, Reply)
He lives in the back end of nowhere, it's hardly suprising they're all a bit iggerant

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:29, Reply)
builders' arse, you mean?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Best job ever?
Probably the blowjob Jaime gave me in the back of Penny's car that time.
I'd do that for one day and all.

/qotw
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:17, Reply)
maybe id have a go at selling cakes or vending machine refills instead of biscuits to see what its like

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:22, Reply)
Cor
Just imagine
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:22, Reply)
imagine all the free samples I could get in the back of the mondeo
I suppose im just a bit bored with custard creams and bourbons
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:26, Reply)
i had a jammy dodger at my brother's school
i'd forgotten how fucking good they are
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:31, Reply)
I will see if I can get a box off the warehouse lads

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:33, Reply)
i don't want anything from your warehouse
i know what you REALLY sell.

you fucking animal.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
I AM PAUL AND I SELL BISCUITS IN MY MONDEO

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, Reply)
Biscuit cbat!
I had jaffa cakes forbreakfast. Spot on!
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:32, Reply)
I could've sworn Jaff Cakes used to be less spongey back in the 80s
then they changed. Either that or my mum was lifting stale ones out of the bins behind Gateway. :(((
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:33, Reply)
Not noticed mate.
I always eat the orangey bit off first.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
My wife does that bit last
After removing all the sponge and chocolate so she's left with a a mini orange breast implant.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, Reply)
fucking hell, you've done it now. it's in my head....
FULLLL MOOOOON
HAL-F MOON
TO-TAL EC-LIPSE

most. annoying. advert. ever.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:41, Reply)
I only deal with foxes and maryland cookies soz

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:34, Reply)
No hobnobs?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:36, Reply)
oh no none of the mcvities rubbish mate please

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:36, Reply)
There's a lady who comes round selling sandwiches at the office.
She also make giant custard creams and jammie dodgers.

I hate her.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, Reply)
giant custard creams and giant bourbons are what i fed frog on new year
start the new year as you mean to go on...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
He's so lucky to have you

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
we all know this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:41, Reply)
TRUFAX (.)(.)

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:42, Reply)

8=)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:43, Reply)
I think you meant D

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:45, Reply)
i wish

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:51, Reply)

:D
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:51, Reply)
^in lurv^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:46, Reply)
as an industry pro I can tell you they arent made to recipe, taste different and there are rumours of legal action

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
I wrote and supported software used in both those industries
The users were jelly-headed clueless cunts to a man. I'm sure you'd do fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:28, Reply)
I heard those cake lads get vauxhall insignias

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:29, Reply)
You.re not fitting many cakes in them
Two madeiras and a packet of jaffas per Brobot?!!? Are ye mad?!?
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:32, Reply)
I dont deliver stock silly im out on the road meeting clients and drumming up biscuit business

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Me and my mate wanted to start a business driving a Pot Noodle van.
Bit like an ice cream van but with Pot Noodles, driving round campuses an that.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
Killing students.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:38, Reply)
we tried something similar but the equipment didn't fit in th mondeo

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:40, Reply)
You should try a Honda Accord M8

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I thought you sold plumbing stuff?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:47, Reply)
On here you can be anything!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:50, Reply)
no I sell biscuits

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:50, Reply)
Do you do free samples?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:58, Reply)
only to the trade mate

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:01, Reply)
We're a business. And nearby

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:50, Reply)
Surely that counts for something?
Nazi.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:51, Reply)
sorry pal my patch is north london and I dont want my taxes paying for your fig rolls

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:55, Reply)
HOPE your shit toe drops off.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:25, Reply)
its fine a real doctor said so

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:28, Reply)
I'd like to be a writer
or a musician or an actor. All the things you need talent for :/
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:48, Reply)
These days, someone else does it all for you.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:50, Reply)
i want to be the one doing it
I need to be all creative like
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:50, Reply)
I always wanted to be a train driver when I was a kid
But having spent this afternoon with a train driving friend who is off sick after the second suicide under his train in 18 months I think I took a better path.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:29, Reply)
Yeah it's not like Thomas The Tank
Don't they get a big payout, or is that just tube drivers?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:42, Reply)
Six weeks minimum compulsory absence with counselling with his company, then six weeks "cushions"
ie.riding in the cab with another driver.

He's 56 and may be eligible for voluntary redundancy anyway. His real problem at the moment is that he has to go to the inquest.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:53, Reply)
Does he get to keep the head as a souvenir?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:56, Reply)
He hit the first one at about 60 - there wasn't much left
This one stepped off a platform end.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:00, Reply)
my mum's school used to have a train driver in to tell the children a horror story about playing chicken on the railway tracks. he came to talk to different classes every year.
he would always pause for maximum effect at the height of the dramatic tension after telling the story about the poor little girl who followed her brothers onto the track and was frozen in front of the train as it mowed her down despite the driver screaming and slamming on the brakes. then he would say, "and children... I was that train driver."

unfortunately with uncanny timing, I managed not once, but twice, to call my mother bang in the middle of the silence. being a bit of a technophobe, she had no idea how to turn her phone down. and I had set the ring tone to "old macdonald".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:06, Reply)
oh dear
Another 'dead mum/ ghostly phone call' story.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:12, Reply)
now now
I'd have thought someone as pretentious as you are about reading could actually read. selfish teenage girl calling her mum at work when she'd been told not to, to ask for something VITAL (probably a lift that evening or money for illicit ciders) is not a ghost story, toots.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:29, Reply)
dead mum + phone call + gillian swipeypoos = ghost story.
SCIENCE.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:31, Reply)
oh dear
in your desperation to troll, you yet again just look the fool. poor old dozer, when will he catch a break?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:33, Reply)
dunno lol
When you cool yer heels with the jolly hockeysticks schtick?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:36, Reply)
i've never been the jolly hockeysticks type
you funny little man, you.

although if I had a hockey stick, i'd be happy to break bits of you with it. I reckon badger would lend me his.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:37, Reply)
ah, lack of exercise explains a lot then

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:38, Reply)
pfffft
i'm going running tonight actually. for the third time this WEEK. so THERE!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:39, Reply)
I don't care.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:40, Reply)
when did you last do any exercise?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:41, Reply)
I jog ten miles a week
Swim for an hour on Sundays.

Weights, nightly.

Football, once a fortnight.

It all adds up and keeps me trim!

When I was skating regularly I had a four pack.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:44, Reply)
^ lies on the internet ^
we've seen pics.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:46, Reply)
YOUN DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY REAL LIFE!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:47, Reply)
*sells stale biscuits^

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:49, Reply)
Bad baseball hat.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:47, Reply)
it's not a baseball hat, but thanks for the sartorial advice anyway!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:48, Reply)
yer of me in the pub

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:48, Reply)
you looked like a pot bellied garden gnome that a dog had shat on

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:48, Reply)
clutching at strawz here, eh cetaceanswipe!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:50, Reply)
just being polite, doll

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:52, Reply)
How's the hairline?
I'd like to see for myself but I'm on my own for the next couple of weeks.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:50, Reply)
it's good ta, how's the dwarfism?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:52, Reply)
I'm 5'5"
It's not going to change.

I have hair.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:58, Reply)
that went years ago

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:52, Reply)

unnimm
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:40, Reply)
fewer calories burned

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:41, Reply)

rnmm
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:42, Reply)
haha. you're no longer the worst one here!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:44, Reply)
\o/

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:51, Reply)
alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:52, Reply)
I absolutely loved running pubs for a long time,
But my priorities changed, now my job is alright, but my home life is far more satisfying and important. I did like working in a library too, but I imagine that's probably a bit dull now.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:47, Reply)
I'd love to have a boozer.
I imagine it's a fuck of a lot of hard work though.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:50, Reply)
Yeah, it's crazy hard work,
Bit I think the biggest drain is that you have to make it your life, you can't do it and then also go out and have mates and stuff like normal. I think most people that get in to it don't realise that.
I remember meeting a couple that had bought a pub as their retirement thing, lasted 6 months and sold up.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:53, Reply)
^
Even being a bar manager drains you. it really does become your life.
Say goodbye to weekends and public holidays.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:59, Reply)
Alright Jason,
I thought every night was the weekend in the gay quarter?

I actually did a relief month in a gay bar in a gay bar, those poor cleaners had to deal with a lot of stuff I wouldn't touch.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:06, Reply)
hand relief

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:15, Reply)
Nonsense, it is hardly coal mining. Don't confuse hard work with long hours.
Working for a chain, brewery, being a tenant or leaseholder then pubs are a mugs game. Free of Tie and then you should really find it impossible to not make money - unless of course you overstaff and the staff are thieving robbing bastards and you are too stupid to do regular stock checks.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:04, Reply)
i think a lot of people could fuck it up royally, tbh

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:07, Reply)
You're a moron.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:08, Reply)
i did bar work for years, when i wanted to prove to my dad that i could do two jobs, and then found i loved it
it's great fun, but physically exhausting. I can only imagine what being in charge must be like.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:10, Reply)
It's trying to combine running a business,
And all the administration and organisation and training a invoicing and everything involved in running a full time business, with a staff that are mostly morons with customers that have little or no respect for you, and working the nights and weekends while trying to hold together a social life and a drinking habit that get you.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:14, Reply)
I've done plenty of bar work myself
But I'd never have gone down the management/tenant road.

Having said that - you put that on your CV and you've ticked an awful lot of boxes.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:19, Reply)
I've done bar work too!
I found it exhausting but fun!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:27, Reply)
ahahaha nice try, trollololol junior
you'd be a terrible barman. sneering at their tastes and leering at their feet.

urrrrrgh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
no, I really really have

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
i'm sure you have
i'm sure you were terrible.

boring the tits off everyone about fucking whisky.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:30, Reply)
nah, this was when I was a student and not into whisky

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:34, Reply)
well hurry up and get to kensington so we can not meet you in a pub
or tell you the wrong pub or something
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
xmas

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)
idiot
that's ages
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:37, Reply)
the summer staff do is either Kenzers or Amsterdam

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)
Bar work is fun, I do miss it a bit.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
it was a long time ago
But yeah, it was fun.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:29, Reply)
My brother has run pubs all his working life
It's a succession of being fucked over for very little money.

He was diagnosed with Lymphoma a few years ago (Hodgkins - whichever the not fatal version is) and was immediately evicted from the bar he was running by the chain that owned it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:56, Reply)
Sounds about right.
Working for the chains never works out for anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:58, Reply)
have you seen how badly fucked Punch are?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:00, Reply)
the worst job i had was a massive pub administration
they failed to pay the December quarter's rent and we all got hauled in on boxing day and thereafter to chase the guarantor. the worst bit was being bombarded with complaints by people who were planning to celebrate Nye in the pubs that got shut.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:01, Reply)
Punch have assets of 79m and debts of 2.3bn
Fucked.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:04, Reply)
use 'em or lose 'em
if people stay in and don't go out, pubs will go bust. they are closing across the country at a shocking rate.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:08, Reply)
Not really,
I've sort of stopped paying attention to it all really, they've been struggling for a while though haven't they?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:03, Reply)
administration

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:05, Reply)
Ha, fuck 'em.
I have only heard horror stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:07, Reply)
it won't be the people in charge who suffer though
it never is
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:09, Reply)
Well, no, but punch have been heading hat way for a while,
Anyone daft enough to still be there probably deserves it.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:16, Reply)
Our local is a free house.
Owners rake in a fucking fortune.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:17, Reply)
Same here, a good free house is a gold mine.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:20, Reply)
This place is.Good booze, good clientele and staff, nice food, just pricey.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:22, Reply)
I think we have similar locals,
But I don't mind it bring a little pricey because it's always good.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:25, Reply)
Beer is not too bad, 2.80 pint for their house ale. Food os steep though.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
They mark up a lot on the grub, beer prices not too bad.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:20, Reply)
An independent owned house can make a lot of money
There's no shortage of beer or food suppliers.

You loose the Carling drinkers - but if you want a good boozer it's no loss.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:23, Reply)
This place is a real ale boozer.
You get punters from all over, coach trips etc. It really is a goldmine, but the pwners stick some zerious hours in.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:27, Reply)
all your beers are belong to us?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:28, Reply)
Location is important,
Some places can't support the pricier things. And not everyone has the skill or kitchen to make a destination place work.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:27, Reply)
Got a good amount of locals and lot of passing trade. The guy does a lot of beer festivals etc.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:30, Reply)
I bet he puts some serious hours in.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:31, Reply)
i got my brother a thing for christmas where he gets 12 rare real ales a month for 6 months
the guy who runs that little business basically spends his life going around tiny microbreweries, sampling and selling them. nice work if you can get it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:35, Reply)
It's only nice work if it's making you a profit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:39, Reply)
i suspect he spends most of his days in a fat alcoholic daze
and so doesn't care...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:41, Reply)
Battered, or the real ale guy?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:42, Reply)
Does yeah.
Pub is basically their life. Social, work everything really.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:53, Reply)
We've dismissed chains
But my local is one of these:-

markettowntaverns.co.uk/

It's a small chain but well placed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:34, Reply)
Does 4pm on Sunday work? Somewhere near the train station?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:56, Reply)
Yeah, I live literally across the road from the station and the boozer by me is top.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:57, Reply)
Excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:58, Reply)
Look up a pub called the punter,
I love just round the corner from there and the station is about 5 minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 18:59, Reply)
well that typo changes the plans somewhat
keep it to gaz, eh?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:00, Reply)
Well, yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:02, Reply)
Someone start a new thread, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 19:57, Reply)
You do it.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Feb 2014, 20:01, Reply)
Bated breath here

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 20:05, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1