Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good Afternoon. Well, it's Friday, well done for making it this far everyone.
So, question?..er....I read this thing about murderers last words before being executed:
listverse.com/2014/02/28/10-last-words-murderers-facing-execution/
What would yours be?
Alt: Evening/weekend plans? Dunno if this has been asked already, but equally don't care if it has.
Altalt: Best DAB Jazz stations?
Cheers.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:28,
229 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Cheers Frog"Can you smell gas?"
Alt:
Tonight I will be dumping the data from a Progress DB and re-creating its structure in a Type II format, re-loading the data then performing an index rebuild to improve performance. I'll then run update statistics and cross my fucking fingers
This really is as boring as it sounds
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
No, that is fascinating! Please, go on....(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
The scariest part is deleting their live DB(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
I'd probably go for something dignified, wry and challenging people's views on capital punishment.Something like: OHGODPLEASEDONTKILLMEIDIDNTDOITITWASTHEOTHERSTHEYMADEMEDOOHGODOHGODIDONTWANTTODIEPLEEEEEEEAASSSSENOOOOOO!!!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
I think the death penalty lads would have a serious rethink of their core values after that moving monologue from a condemned man(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
"Oh, I think I left the iron on"Edit: Shmokin weed, drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
ALL Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS, YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
Whenever you see clit, you'll see this fucking face, I make that shit work(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
"It wasn't me it was that arse frog, he did it with his shit biscuits", would work.Alt, already said, camping, are you deaf as well as daft?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:35, Reply)
arse frog arse frog arse frog arse frog arse frog arse frog (
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:36,
Reply)
Ahh, the Tom Jones/ Mousse T LSD single(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
Don't keep dissing Paul and his mad biscuit sales skillzalt: nah, didn't read all that old tripe.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
^appears to be a real, although shockingly stupid, doctor^(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
He doesn't even sell real biscuits?Who the hell wants a pretend biscuit?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:44, Reply)
His customers.I wouldn't mind some bourbons actually. Real ones. Can you sort us out frog? Couple of packs?
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:47, Reply)
No, we pay your salary already, you aren't having my stock too(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
It's still a no, you're always stuffing your fat face with buffets, it's for your own good.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Alt: I'm going round Two Hats'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:38,
Reply)
Me too if he has beer and weed(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
YEAHBring some sort of strange folky instrument, and I'll bring my beard and a cardigan
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:44,
Reply)
Hey I saw the man who looks like how I picture what you look like the other day.He couldn't understand why I kept trying to cuddle him
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
HahaI'm intrigued...what do you think I look like?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
Do any of these men look like you?www.youtube.com/watch?v=89I_fvkIurE
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
I've basically got the bald, spec, goatee combo going onI'm actually very attractive
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
I really didn't want you to have a beard, I'm a bit disappointed (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
Then I'm not far offwww.fangtrouser.com/
Edit: Not great pictures on there
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
Ha yesAlthough I like to think I look slightly younger
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
It's weird because, although you are slightly younger than me, I see you as a sort of father figure(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:15,
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Nahhh I'm sure I will be perfectly safe in this pub toilet in Oxford as long as Windy Pig is with me....Alt:Picking up the wifes new car
Alt:alt: YES I NEED ANSWERS FOR THIS ONE AND ALL
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:40,
Reply)
I wonder if I ever met winders if I would feel safe because he can take care of business, or worried he might murder me.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
'with the exception of my daughter, the world is full of cunts. You're all cunts. Get fucked'. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:42,
Reply)
Shut up(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
"I bet you I could swallow that whole"Alt. gardening tidying, retail therapy, bit of cooking, bit of wine, bit of weed, bit of sex.
Altalt. I was going to suggest Jazzfm but they have removed themselves from DAB. HOWEVER, they are available online.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
Commercial radio is shit and for plebs./ac
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:49,
Reply)
Well that's cool cos I don't listen to any.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:52,
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Fucking hell:www.splosh.co.uk/home/
NSFW.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
Worryingly, I knew what that was already.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
I think that maybe extreme even for her voracious appetite (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
Bookmarked for later.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:05,
Reply)
mi laste wurd wulde beeTerbil thinges, sawry, I fult the folt wis main bute I. Hadd no daddie
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
I'm getting concerned that you might have had a pretty major aneurysm.(
Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:07,
Reply)
But, soft!What light through yonder window licks? It is the bent, and Ape is the spastic.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:16,
Reply)
To be sectioned, or not to be sectioned, that is the question.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:17,
Reply)
meen frogge, I esschange yorm iis fur pooddins!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
alann toorin boggerred me, thise agianste natore(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:32,
Reply)
I did last year when I went to Bletchley. Trufax. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:50,
Reply)
urgh, just got bollocked by a client for something that is not my faultI hate that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:18,
Reply)
Smile and nod and think of the payslips.People always need someone to blame.
A solicitor is a pretty good start.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:19,
Reply)
I've just had three separate people from our service desk asking me the same question that I've already answered(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:20,
Reply)
And you call yourself a man?I was in my cups to the tune of 4 litres of Frosty Jack by midday. Sort it out crow.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
was it:"would you mind putting down the knife and taking a step backwards"
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:25, Reply)
"Why are you still here, we sacked you weeks ago?"(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
whi yoo hav handes lik oketpus Spurtscer?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:27,
Reply)
"Are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?"(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
"How much extra car allowance did you get?"(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:29,
Reply)
"WHy the fuck did you delete the live database we told you to back it up you fucking prick you're fired?"(
Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:32,
Reply)
I'm trying to install a product that is at least 5 versions behind the current oneAll the issues I'm getting, the Google searches refer to documents that have been removed from the Citrix site, due to their age
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:59,
Reply)
Sounds like SOMEBODY is trying to use software that's out of supportand that SOMEBODY ought to fork out some dosh to update their licences. Why the hell are you trying to use ancient legacy crap, anyway?
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Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:06,
Reply)
I reckon it's the only way his office can communicate with one in Edinburgh. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:10,
Reply)
Not sure software downgrading is a suitable method of communicating with the Dark Ages.(
Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:11,
Reply)
It's something he's mentioned before. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:13,
Reply)
Its one of our sites who refused to pay SAThey have just rebuilt some servers with Windows 2003 to install PS4 on
*shakes head*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:17,
Reply)
I guess you'll have to give them the unwelcome news that you can't support their Citrix anymore, then.They're going to have to upgrade or find something else.
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Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:22,
Reply)
Fucking people thinking they can carry on using old software forever.(
Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:25,
Reply)
Not too long ago I had to remember how to install Windows NT(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:29,
Reply)
We should start a consultancy. March into offices and ask people just what the fuck do they think they're playing at?(
Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:41,
Reply)
I'm up for thatOur normal daily rate is £900 a day
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:41,
Reply)
"Has searching for car insurance been driving you crazy?"(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:34,
Reply)
why saad wen too hows too manye, raats in alle how's saye no two drugges(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:36,
Reply)
'cos you dont eat your fucking sandwiches(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:59,
Reply)
Surely you read a better magazine than that in the boozer?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 15:57,
Reply)
I don't really read magazines, I have a couple of subscriptions on my iPad, but I forget to read them. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:09,
Reply)
One I pay for (the Economist), the other was a gift (Top Gear). (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:14,
Reply)
I've found a way around my banning from mumsnet \o/(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:07,
Reply)
Had a difficult weekCourse in Germany, run by a yank who was an absolute Bellend. Very difficult to keep a straight face. Two days at a trade show at the NEC with no sitting down. Day in the office today with another NEC show tomorrow.
Alt: Sunday will be sleep and drink.
Altalt: there's only two kinds of jazz and they're both crap.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:34, Reply)
It's OK!I made it to the pub
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:48,
Reply)
Fucking hideous week, glad it's nearly over.Going home to pizza, cider, the missus, and a film tonight.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:48,
Reply)
CQ preferred a lager lady (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:56,
Reply)
had the baliffs round? threatening to reposess your goldfish and x box head set?Bad times
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:09,
Reply)
It's gay slang, you wouldn't understand(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:55,
Reply)
God, do they have to have their own EVERYTHING?!(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 16:57,
Reply)
I wish they had their own area at the back of the bus(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:03,
Reply)
god I'm sat opposite a teenage couple, I can smell their retarded hormones from here(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:00,
Reply)
I have my seat plus an empty one next to me. I shall be passive aggressive over keeping it that way as usual.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:27,
Reply)
tggi^Half hour early for me as had a pub meeting beforehand
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:30,
Reply)
Well yeah, just for emergency work really.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:48,
Reply)
is your surname Tuttle by any chance?
(chances of you getting this reference = low)
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:50,
Reply)
OMG it's my candle day!(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:51,
Reply)
Happy 'I've wasted years on the internet' dayThe only tuttles I know are in American chopper but I think that's teutel or summink
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:57,
Reply)
its the number of posts you wanna look atMine, is not great...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 18:00,
Reply)
nope, it's the guy whop does the ducts in the film Brazil(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 18:26,
Reply)
some guy nearly punched me on the escalatorBut his wife said I wasn't worth it.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:31, Reply)
Stupid bitch. What did you do? Did you keep saying 'alright'?(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:32,
Reply)
nah, asked to get by and told her they should be standing on the other side to let people passShe told me not to lecture her; I told her it wasn't a lecture.
Husband told me to watch my mouth.
God, they were ghastly in their nylon sportswear.
(, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:34, Reply)
Escalator pricks make me seethe with anger and bitterness (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:36,
Reply)
that the north for you, ghastly thick plebians(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:40,
Reply)
yeah, down south the husband would have just stabbed him(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 18:06,
Reply)
I didn't know Sports Direct has escalators.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 18:21,
Reply)
Reading your extended director's cut anecdote up there^I am happy to extend my previous comment to say that none of you were worth it. Congratulations!
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Kroney, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 17:39,
Reply)
I can't believe there isn't a new newsletter out yet.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 28 Feb 2014, 18:11,
Reply)
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