So, exactly what things have you got up to with my mother then?
Alt: chicken or beef?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:24, 136 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Honest guv, nothing
Beef all the way. Tastes 100 times better than chicken
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:26, Reply)

I'' go with this.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:29, Reply)

Man, I want a steak now
I have 3 in the freezer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:42, Reply)

We share common interests, that's all.
Alt: Quorn
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:35, Reply)

I find it crazy that they keep finding meats contaminated with other meats
and that factory in ireland is still mashing mouldy shit into lasagnes, and yet nobody seems to give a shit any more.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:38, Reply)

They should shut down all imports of meat in to the UK. Then any company wanting to export to the UK should be thouroghly inspected (at their cost) to demonstrate the integrity of their products before being granted a license.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:40, Reply)

I ate a Mathesons "Hot and Spicy" pork sausage last week.
It was neither hot nor spicy, it might have been pork, but I'm not sure.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Nasty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:43, Reply)

I was marketing director at mathersons in 2007/8
I would never have allowed pork into the produce of this item.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Cat FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Good work.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Alll meat should what it says on the package - no more, no less.
Mixing stuff so we don't know what's in it - not good. I'd buy something labelled as 'Horse' - don't see why we don't eat the fuckers TBH.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

Because we'd be dead, of course

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:46, Reply)

well played

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

Who cares, one animal is much like another, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:43, Reply)

As a carnivore, I'll eat pretty much anything, as long as it's decent quality'

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

I do my best to get around this problem
by not buying shit ready meals. Occasionally I suppose a piece of horse or dog or whatever might make its way into a pie I might purchase, but I consider the risk worth it. I like pie /1998
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

This is the thing, I would never buy a ready meal, or value mince, I get all my meat from the butchers
But I fucking love pork pies and cocktail sausages.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:50, Reply)

I want to learn how to make my own pork pies, supposed to be quite difficult due to the type of pastry.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:54, Reply)

this looks to be a pretty good version of teh recipe
gourmetdough.com/pastry/how-to-make-hot-water-crust-pastry
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Bookmarked. Ta.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:04, Reply)

It's just shortcrust, innit?
I can well imagine a filo pie being a pig but you can't really go wrong with shortcrust.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:59, Reply)

Hot suet I think.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:00, Reply)

I'd love to get meat from the butchers but work and being hungover on most Saturday mornings prevents this.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:57, Reply)

Have you considered addressing your alcohol problem?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:02, Reply)

Yes
I went to the shops
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:13, Reply)

Past experience has told me I'd probably be too late to go even if I wasn't hungover.
I like a lie-in, and most butchers shut at lunchtime.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)

Pie is your friend.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:50, Reply)

I only have 3.1415927 friends

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:15, Reply)

After that make-up free selfie she did
All sorts.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:38, Reply)

I don't get this, people say it "raises awareness" but so what, I'm perfectly aware of cancer
doesn't stop people getting it, or help people who have it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:40, Reply)

You mean apart from them all donating £3?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:41, Reply)

But do they cow? Do they?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:42, Reply)

I've seen pictures where they are showing their donations too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

I haven't. Therefore I say that you sir, are a liar.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:48, Reply)

I've never been so insulted in my life
No wait, I have...

Carry on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I have seen people with post of their donations and I think
"Got something to prove have you? Proving that thought you are a liar and a whore and fucking ugly its OK because you gave £3? Maybe the fucking faeries will see your £3 donation and make you less ugly!"
( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:53, Reply)

I think it was a makeup company that started it in the first place.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:42, Reply)

How would that work then?
Most of them look much better without all the slap on?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:45, Reply)

A lot of them don't cow, they really don't.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Yeah, but some do and every one is £3 more donated than otherwise would have been

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:48, Reply)

You replied in teh wrong place.
YOU FUCKING NAKERS!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2242454
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:55, Reply)

I've been forced into an unpleasant realisation
that a lot of guys I know have married ugly women.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:48, Reply)

Sometimes you want to make sure that you're not going to be one that gets cheated on in a relationship

(Bazongaloid, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

I rely on the mesmerising white heat of my personality to keep them true.

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Shame that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Not me:)))

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:49, Reply)

Well, you're not on my Facebook, so you don't fucking count, do you?

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:50, Reply)

All its raising awareness of to me if how fucking ugly these women are
and how by wearing make up they are literally lying to other people about how they look and are no better than clowns parading around with their fake faces on. Fuck them, fuck women, fucking liars, cheats and whores. I hope they all get cancer.
( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:50, Reply)

WHORES OF BABLYON PAINTED JEZEBELS
THEY SHOULD ALL BE STONED
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:51, Reply)

I put tonnes of pictures up on facebook without makeup on.
Why should people be using words lik e"brave" to describe a woman showing what she actually looks like. Men do it every day. My wife hardly ever wears make up. Its one of the things that attracted me to her as she isn't an ugly troll faking it with slap. I once woke up next to this ugly piggy eyed pasty faced bird and they first thing that I wondered was wear the hot chick from the night before had gone. Any women that use make up are liars LIARS AND WHORES!
( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:56, Reply)

I think I've seen my mrs in full makeup maybe twice
and both times I was in a DJ.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:57, Reply)

The Savile has a lot to answer for

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:59, Reply)

lol

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:00, Reply)

I was at a stag weekend in Bristol a few years ago.
We ended up in some dreadful 80's nightclub, intermingled with a hen party who happened to be staying in the same hotel as us.

The following morning we're all checking out, the lifts opened and all the hens appeared. Without make up.

Guess who yelled out 'Hello ladies, I think we were out with your daughters last night'.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:59, Reply)

I am going to guess at
DLT
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:01, Reply)

was it the dwarf gambolling around their ankles?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:02, Reply)

YES!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:03, Reply)

at least you got some hot upskirt action

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:07, Reply)

Every single day

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:10, Reply)

Well, yes.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:58, Reply)

Has she started hitting you again?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Why don't you ask her yourself, you're still fucking her aren't you?

( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:56, Reply)

Not since she gave me the syph again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:05, Reply)

welcome to our world
we have to put up with looking at your fucking ugly faces every day of the week.

although that being said, i hardly wear make-up, only for going out. i don't know how some women bother, they must have to get up 2 hours before work to slap that on.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:57, Reply)

You had foundation or powder or something and a little eye makeup on when I met you PAINTED WHORE!

( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:01, Reply)

that's because i was GOING OUT!
this morning i am bare faced as a baby.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:01, Reply)

You could do with a shave though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:02, Reply)

nah
frightens the opposition when they hear the stubble scraping across the handset
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:02, Reply)

hahaha
www.cracked.com/article_20997_5-shocking-realities-being-transgender-media-ignores.html
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:06, Reply)

you amuse real easy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Sure do

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Ashamed of how you looked to me?
Felt you had to put on a face mask of paint!
( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:03, Reply)

i'd seen your pics on fb and thought you might want to swap some eyeliner tips

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:04, Reply)

ING to the Z

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:05, Reply)

swap some eyeliner tips get sucked off about the bins behind the pzza place
( Peej, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:19, Reply)

I put one up with a full face of makeup.
and a dress.
But that's Saturdays for you.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)

People weren't even donating when I moaned about it on facebook.
As if someone going through chemo is worried about the aesthetics of how they look.
silly slags.

Ugly ones too.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:23, Reply)

My friend Sandra is currently having chemo for breast cancer
She's done a baldynut one in support and thought it was all great
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Yes! I saw a lass put one up who is going through chemo and still smiling.
For her, I donated.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Never mind no make up selfies
If they want to raise breast cancer awareness I want to see boobs
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)

The elbow
Alt: Chicken for sandwiches, but beef for pretty much everything else.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 10:55, Reply)

Elbowlols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:03, Reply)

Best of al body bits.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:11, Reply)

The best of Al's body bits would be the cunt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:12, Reply)

Haha.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I'm chewing my toenails. The dog is looking at me weird.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:13, Reply)

Oh life.
Do dododooooo
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:21, Reply)

YOUR FUCKING THREADS ARE FUCKING SHIT!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:21, Reply)

^upset

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Fuck off you shitstabbling pervert.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:23, Reply)

shitstabbling
Is that where you can't store horses correctly?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

I thought that was quite good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)

angry typing on his Fisher Price keyboard.
MOO QUACK BARK
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:27, Reply)

jaisurn did a funny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Pour another one, Napoleon.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

How do tablets and phones know which way is up

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Gyroscope.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Internal gyro

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

gyro, innit

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I think its a gyro

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

You might be right.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Typical northerner
living off my taxes
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)

Never claimed anything in my life guvnor

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)

The inlaws used to run a post office
Some of the stories of their "valued customers" unbelievable
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:52, Reply)

I used to live in an off licence
Some of our regular customers were secret alcoholics. Come in about 10am for a litre of port a day
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:54, Reply)

I used to live in a mosque.
Some of the bomb construction I saw was amazing.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)

youtu.be/j4lTazX3asg
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:58, Reply)

That seems to be Sporters lunch time anyway

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Good job you got that doctorate.

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Scary innit.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

ninja

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

How did SBT become a doctor?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

You missed the " "

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

BJs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Hard work.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Carnegie hall
ahahahaha
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)

I beefed your mum right in her chicken oyster

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:28, Reply)

some prick has put in a meeting from 12:30 until 2

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Ouch
Kill them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Any free stuff?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:32, Reply)

Owt for nowt?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Nope, cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:36, Reply)

Buffet?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:34, Reply)

I dont see how shaking them will help

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)

He means that hedge fund guy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:39, Reply)

The one that kills vampires?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)

DocTroll, the buffet slayer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:45, Reply)

lol gutted

( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:35, Reply)

IT drone^
Lol gutted
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Whats for lunch?
I'm eating whilst you are meeting
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:39, Reply)

:(
I'd be flippant, but you've no idea the sheer amount of spastics I have to deal with on a daily basis. They make you look like Bill Gates.
( Kroney, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:41, Reply)

And you're planning on showing up in those shoes?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:40, Reply)

tofu

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Mar 2014, 11:49, Reply)