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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Finest thing to come out of a can?
Proper lovely day here today. Nice wander into town to buy fucking loom bands for the daughter and a present for Mrs Cow's birthday

Alt:
Strangest party you've been to
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:33, 143 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
An entire roast chicken for all questions

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:36, Reply)


(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:38, Reply)
NOM

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:39, Reply)
Chickcan

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:39, Reply)


(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:40, Reply)
Is it even cooked?
It looks raw
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:42, Reply)
I have no idea. all the liquid looks quite vomit inducing.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:43, Reply)
Nobody likes a dry bird

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:44, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2173936
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:12, Reply)
?
Nothing there, I must be on lolignore
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:20, Reply)
Probably
i.imgur.com/Zn7tDyL.gif
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Excellent
My mate was in the Royal Navy and they used to do "chicken on a fist" where you impale a whole roast chicken on one hand and are not allowed to remove it until it has been eaten
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:38, Reply)
Probably proper Belgian import Stella
nothing like the cr@p that's normally sold here (which is brewed in London).

alt: plenty student ones, also went to a divorce celebration party once, slightly weird.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:44, Reply)
More cans. Recycling is wonderful.
Alt: I went to a party in an old hospital done up like a loony bin. I took too many mushrooms and had to leave.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Loving your work

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Not a can but a bottle
laughingsquid.com/legal-a-new-line-of-wake-and-bake-cold-coffee-beverages-brewed-with-cannabis-extract/
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Nice

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:46, Reply)
Ah, there you are
I used to love those tins of all day breakfast with a couple of slices of bread and butter. One of them on the nightshift was just the ticket. Drinks wise I quite like that Rubicon stuff

Alt: All the parties I've been to have been pretty normal. I remember going to one where the booze and drug supplies ran out far too early and the party decamped to the kitchen to try and fry up and smoke anything that could be found (bananas, oregano, bread crusts, weetabix). WE WERE OFF OUR FUCKING TITS MAN! Nah, total waste of time :(
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Isn't Rubicon hard to open as you have to line up all the sides first?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Yeah, either that or an overpriced curry

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Nah, you just peel all the labels off and stick them back in the right order

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56, Reply)
Comfort food innit
takes you back to when you were a kid and your parents were poor or someat.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Ta for the donation

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59, Reply)
should have gone £22

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)
haha!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)
£6.66

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)
When I got there, someone asked me "Hey - how are you?"
Quite stoned, I said "Yeah - fine, thanks", to which they replied intensely "HOW DO YOU KNOW?!"

Fucking students.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Thats DEEP

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:02, Reply)
Innit, doe?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)
Canned cheesburger anyone?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:53, Reply)
Or perhaps you'd prefer some pork brains:

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Nice cholesterol

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56, Reply)
I could eat that as I have very low cholesterol akshully just sayin

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:57, Reply)
If you'd like something a bit healthier:

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:58, Reply)
YES!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:00, Reply)
wow

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)
100% it turns out of the tin JUST like that

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:55, Reply)


(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56, Reply)
I cannot stop adding a G to the front of anything left in our office/kitchen with oats in

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:57, Reply)
GYM?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:00, Reply)
No thanks, off for a run in the morning
See:

Hot Quick Goats
Goat Burst
etc.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)
Add an E to the end as well, with a note to "Google it...."

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Goate?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:07, Reply)
oatse
obv.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:08, Reply)
what's funny about that?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:13, Reply)
You need to be gone outside for some time....

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)
GOAT LOL

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)
Carling

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Only on payday

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01, Reply)
Alt: The wedding of a gay man and a lesbian woman
To each other. Fucking hell.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:13, Reply)
?
How rare
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Precisely
The wedding reception was in a massive fancy flat in Marchmont in Edinburgh.

Most of the groom's mates were gay and most of the bride's mates were lezzers. As (straight) work colleagues of the groom, we found ourselves in a 'wagons circled' formation in the kitchen.

Plus point: some very attractive women, standing right next to me, sucking the face off each other.

The marriage lasted less than 6 months, oddly enough.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)
Any reason they actually got married?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19, Reply)
presumably they were both sick of fending off fister

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)
Well, really.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)
I think they just thought it would be 'a bit of a laugh'
Turns out it wasn't.

Oddly enough, the chap concerned had the only leaving do I'd ever attended where the guest of honour didn't actually show up. He was off sick that day, but we still went out and got pissed in his honour.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:25, Reply)
We had a guy at my last place who was such a cunt we all went out to celebrate the day after he left

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:46, Reply)
Haha that's classy
In my teens I played for a cricket team that was captained by a guy who thought he was the dog's bollocks. He HAD to open the batting AND the bowling every week - you know the sort.

One day he was batting in a 20 over thrash and just wasn't scoring any runs. When the bowling team appealed for an LBW his entire team joined in from the boundary.

He was not impressed.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:57, Reply)
hahaha!
Howzat working for you?
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:19, Reply)
Well, wagons circled does give everyone fair aim at the biscuit

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:21, Reply)
I would totally weasel out of that invite.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)
+s +a

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:33, Reply)
don't get it soz.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)
Hahaha
I like this
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:35, Reply)
EXPLAIN

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:37, Reply)
^ this ^

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:51, Reply)
^ that ^

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:54, Reply)
v The other v

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)
I stoatally get it

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:55, Reply)
Oh FFS.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)
How long were you ferreting around for the answer?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
here?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
Less ferreting, more like beavering

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
yeah

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
in and out

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
oh.

______
LOL!!!
------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:40, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:41, Reply)
You stupid thick bitch.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)
i hate it when you're nice to me
it gives me the creeps
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:03, Reply)
chevron

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Where?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Dunno

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58, Reply)
over

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
here

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
alright

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00, Reply)
bored of this now

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:01, Reply)
chevrons are for cunts

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)
I know

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)
I think

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59, Reply)
Took me a minute, but it's a cracker!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:51, Reply)
YESSS

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:53, Reply)
The Fursty Ferret I had recently was rather good
Alt: The drag party was an odd one, there were a few lads there who were a little too convincing at first glance.

Also, I've just seen this on facebook, not sure if it's good value or not - www.westingourmet.co.uk/irish-grass-fed-sirloin-steak-16oz.html
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:23, Reply)
beans/chickpeas
alt: army parties, without the shadow of a doubt. one night, half the blokes spent an hour seeing who could fit the most brown m&m's up their own arsehole.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24, Reply)
+ substituting rabbit shit for some of them

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:30, Reply)
Squaddies are weird.
Mrs tangle's friend is marrying some ex-army bore later in the year. I am not looking forward to the wedding one bit.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:54, Reply)
I went to a squaddies wedding.
The best man speech revealed that the groom had cheated on his bride with numerous prostitutes.

It didn't last long.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:07, Reply)
A friend of mine married his cousin and got an ex-sailor for his best man
Asked the audience to come up and put their keys into a bowl if they had slept with the groom. About 10 pre-planted girls did

Then "Come on...." and 10 or so more get up
Then "COME ON...." and 25 blokes also get up
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:18, Reply)
I saw the conductor of an orchestra do similar to that once
Flautist leaving to have a baby, presented with flowers, etc, conductor announces to the audience that the pround future dad is in the audience and would he stand up please.....so every bloke in the orchestra stands up...
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Hello sailor!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:37, Reply)
all that time without women and that is what men get up to.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:36, Reply)

Just found out something crucial and rushed to let you know.

Martial law has gotten dangerously close.

Right now, we're literally one step from having feds knock down our doors.

Almost all the steps leading to martial law are now completed... all it takes is one more
spark to ignite the disaster.

And the match has just been lit.

Now, if this wasn't enough, here's something that will REALLY make your blood boil:

Everything's been planned and implemented with taxpayer money. YOUR money.

They forced you to build this nazi tyranny for them.

And now here's the result. Watch this video to see what they've done:

Martial-law shocking report, see the full disclosed story here:
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:12, Reply)
You Won't Believe That They Capitalised Every Word In This Sentence!

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:15, Reply)
I REALLY DO

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:17, Reply)
Lose Seven Stone Of Belly Fat In Just Five Minutes Using This One Weird Old Scimitar

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)
Either Mulligatawny soup (though I dont like the new Heinz recipe) or an all day breakfast
Alt. S Club
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)
And what did the S stand for?
Honestly, you poofters have no taste.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Stilton

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:23, Reply)
That would've been better.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:23, Reply)
What's the real answer?

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)
I believe they were named in honour of their manager, Mr Simon Fuller.
They are Simon's Club.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)
I'm assuming it would be one of those parties round Barrymore's gaff

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26, Reply)
Well that's shit.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Unless they got to wear t-shirts with his face on obv.

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)
He's certainly an attractive man

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)
He looks like someone has badly photoshopped their own face onto Simon Cowell

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:30, Reply)
^

(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Getting excited now, Frog
I'll be leaving work in a little under five minutes, be in the pub in a little over an hour and then back home in around two hours!
YES!!!
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:25, Reply)
Well done pal, another week done.
I was going to go home at four, but I'm going to have a quick pint with the #LADZ before going back to the seaside. Before coming back to London tomorrow. Hopefully I can fit in a train journey on Sunday too, or that will feel weird.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Why not spend longer in the pub?
I threw a mug of tea over myself earlier so I might have to swing past my house depending on how tea stained my tshirt is.

I'll go to my local, if the Karaoke man turns up I'll fuck off elsewhere.
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)
You realise I don't actually like them...
It's all in the name of hashtag TOPBANTZ
(, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:35, Reply)

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