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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Finest thing to come out of a can?
Proper lovely day here today. Nice wander into town to buy fucking loom bands for the daughter and a present for Mrs Cow's birthday
Alt:
Strangest party you've been to
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:33,
143 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
An entire roast chicken for all questions
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:36,
Reply)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
NOM
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
Chickcan
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:39,
Reply)
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:40,
Reply)
Is it even cooked?
It looks raw
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:42,
Reply)
I have no idea. all the liquid looks quite vomit inducing.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:43,
Reply)
Nobody likes a dry bird
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:44,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2173936
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:12,
Reply)
?
Nothing there, I must be on lolignore
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
Probably
i.imgur.com/Zn7tDyL.gif
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
Excellent
My mate was in the Royal Navy and they used to do "chicken on a fist" where you impale a whole roast chicken on one hand and are not allowed to remove it until it has been eaten
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:38,
Reply)
Probably proper Belgian import Stella
nothing like the cr@p that's normally sold here (which is brewed in London).
alt: plenty student ones, also went to a divorce celebration party once, slightly weird.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:44,
Reply)
More cans. Recycling is wonderful.
Alt: I went to a party in an old hospital done up like a loony bin. I took too many mushrooms and had to leave.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
Loving your work
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:45,
Reply)
Nice
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:46,
Reply)
Ah, there you are
I used to love those tins of all day breakfast with a couple of slices of bread and butter. One of them on the nightshift was just the ticket. Drinks wise I quite like that Rubicon stuff
Alt: All the parties I've been to have been pretty normal. I remember going to one where the booze and drug supplies ran out far too early and the party decamped to the kitchen to try and fry up and smoke anything that could be found (bananas, oregano, bread crusts, weetabix). WE WERE OFF OUR FUCKING TITS MAN! Nah, total waste of time :(
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:48,
Reply)
Isn't Rubicon hard to open as you have to line up all the sides first?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:50,
Reply)
Yeah, either that or an overpriced curry
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:51,
Reply)
Nah, you just peel all the labels off and stick them back in the right order
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56,
Reply)
Comfort food innit
takes you back to when you were a kid and your parents were poor or someat.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59,
Reply)
Ta for the donation
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59,
Reply)
should have gone £22
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
haha!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
£6.66
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
When I got there, someone asked me "Hey - how are you?"
Quite stoned, I said "Yeah - fine, thanks", to which they replied intensely "HOW DO YOU KNOW?!"
Fucking students.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:48,
Reply)
Thats DEEP
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:02,
Reply)
Innit, doe?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
Canned cheesburger anyone?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:53,
Reply)
Or perhaps you'd prefer some pork brains:
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:55,
Reply)
Nice cholesterol
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56,
Reply)
I could eat that as I have very low cholesterol akshully just sayin
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
If you'd like something a bit healthier:
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:58,
Reply)
YES!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:00,
Reply)
wow
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
100% it turns out of the tin JUST like that
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:55,
Reply)
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:56,
Reply)
I cannot stop adding a G to the front of anything left in our office/kitchen with oats in
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:57,
Reply)
GYM?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:00,
Reply)
No thanks, off for a run in the morning
See:
Hot Quick Goats
Goat Burst
etc.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
Add an E to the end as well, with a note to "Google it...."
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:06,
Reply)
Goate?
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Peej, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
oatse
obv.
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:08,
Reply)
what's funny about that?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:13,
Reply)
You need to be gone outside for some time....
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
GOAT LOL
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
Carling
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Peej, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 13:59,
Reply)
Only on payday
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:01,
Reply)
Alt: The wedding of a gay man and a lesbian woman
To each other. Fucking hell.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
?
How rare
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:14,
Reply)
Precisely
The wedding reception was in a massive fancy flat in Marchmont in Edinburgh.
Most of the groom's mates were gay and most of the bride's mates were lezzers. As (straight) work colleagues of the groom, we found ourselves in a 'wagons circled' formation in the kitchen.
Plus point: some very attractive women, standing right next to me, sucking the face off each other.
The marriage lasted less than 6 months, oddly enough.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
Any reason they actually got married?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:19,
Reply)
presumably they were both sick of fending off fister
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
Well, really.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
:)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
I think they just thought it would be 'a bit of a laugh'
Turns out it wasn't.
Oddly enough, the chap concerned had the only leaving do I'd ever attended where the guest of honour didn't actually show up. He was off sick that day, but we still went out and got pissed in his honour.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
We had a guy at my last place who was such a cunt we all went out to celebrate the day after he left
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:46,
Reply)
Haha that's classy
In my teens I played for a cricket team that was captained by a guy who thought he was the dog's bollocks. He HAD to open the batting AND the bowling every week - you know the sort.
One day he was batting in a 20 over thrash and just wasn't scoring any runs. When the bowling team appealed for an LBW his entire team joined in from the boundary.
He was not impressed.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:57,
Reply)
hahaha!
Howzat working for you?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:19,
Reply)
Well, wagons circled does give everyone fair aim at the biscuit
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
I would totally weasel out of that invite.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
+s +a
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:33,
Reply)
don't get it soz.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:34,
Reply)
Hahaha
I like this
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Xav loves PhillieJoe, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
EXPLAIN
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:37,
Reply)
^ this ^
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
^ that ^
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
v The other v
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
I stoatally get it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:55,
Reply)
Oh FFS.
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
How long were you ferreting around for the answer?
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
here?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
Less ferreting, more like beavering
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Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
yeah
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
in and out
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
oh.
______
LOL!!!
------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:40,
Reply)
\o/
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:41,
Reply)
You stupid thick bitch.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
i hate it when you're nice to me
it gives me the creeps
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
chevron
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Where?
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:56,
Reply)
Dunno
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:58,
Reply)
over
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
here
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
alright
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:00,
Reply)
bored of this now
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:01,
Reply)
chevrons are for cunts
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
I know
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
I think
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:59,
Reply)
Took me a minute, but it's a cracker!
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:51,
Reply)
YESSS
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:53,
Reply)
The Fursty Ferret I had recently was rather good
Alt: The drag party was an odd one, there were a few lads there who were a little too convincing at first glance.
Also, I've just seen this on facebook, not sure if it's good value or not -
www.westingourmet.co.uk/irish-grass-fed-sirloin-steak-16oz.html
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
beans/chickpeas
alt: army parties, without the shadow of a doubt. one night, half the blokes spent an hour seeing who could fit the most brown m&m's up their own arsehole.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
+ substituting rabbit shit for some of them
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
Squaddies are weird.
Mrs tangle's friend is marrying some ex-army bore later in the year. I am not looking forward to the wedding one bit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 14:54,
Reply)
I went to a squaddies wedding.
The best man speech revealed that the groom had cheated on his bride with numerous prostitutes.
It didn't last long.
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Muns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:07,
Reply)
A friend of mine married his cousin and got an ex-sailor for his best man
Asked the audience to come up and put their keys into a bowl if they had slept with the groom. About 10 pre-planted girls did
Then "Come on...." and 10 or so more get up
Then "COME ON...." and 25 blokes also get up
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:18,
Reply)
I saw the conductor of an orchestra do similar to that once
Flautist leaving to have a baby, presented with flowers, etc, conductor announces to the audience that the pround future dad is in the audience and would he stand up please.....so every bloke in the orchestra stands up...
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:31,
Reply)
Hello sailor!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:37,
Reply)
all that time without women and that is what men get up to.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:36,
Reply)
Just found out something crucial and rushed to let you know.
Martial law has gotten dangerously close.
Right now, we're literally one step from having feds knock down our doors.
Almost all the steps leading to martial law are now completed... all it takes is one more
spark to ignite the disaster.
And the match has just been lit.
Now, if this wasn't enough, here's something that will REALLY make your blood boil:
Everything's been planned and implemented with taxpayer money. YOUR money.
They forced you to build this nazi tyranny for them.
And now here's the result. Watch this video to see what they've done:
Martial-law shocking report, see the full disclosed story here:
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:12,
Reply)
You Won't Believe That They Capitalised Every Word In This Sentence!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:15,
Reply)
I REALLY DO
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:17,
Reply)
Lose Seven Stone Of Belly Fat In Just Five Minutes Using This One Weird Old Scimitar
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
Either Mulligatawny soup (though I dont like the new Heinz recipe) or an all day breakfast
Alt. S Club
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:21,
Reply)
And what did the S stand for?
Honestly, you poofters have no taste.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:22,
Reply)
Stilton
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
That would've been better.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:23,
Reply)
What's the real answer?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
I believe they were named in honour of their manager, Mr Simon Fuller.
They are Simon's Club.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
I'm assuming it would be one of those parties round Barrymore's gaff
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:26,
Reply)
Well that's shit.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:27,
Reply)
Unless they got to wear t-shirts with his face on obv.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
He's certainly an attractive man
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:29,
Reply)
He looks like someone has badly photoshopped their own face onto Simon Cowell
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:30,
Reply)
^
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:28,
Reply)
Getting excited now, Frog
I'll be leaving work in a little under five minutes, be in the pub in a little over an hour and then back home in around two hours!
YES!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:25,
Reply)
Well done pal, another week done.
I was going to go home at four, but I'm going to have a quick pint with the #LADZ before going back to the seaside. Before coming back to London tomorrow. Hopefully I can fit in a train journey on Sunday too, or that will feel weird.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:29,
Reply)
Why not spend longer in the pub?
I threw a mug of tea over myself earlier so I might have to swing past my house depending on how tea stained my tshirt is.
I'll go to my local, if the Karaoke man turns up I'll fuck off elsewhere.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:44,
Reply)
You realise I don't actually like them...
It's all in the name of hashtag TOPBANTZ
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 15:35,
Reply)
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