Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well this is borderline suicidal.How's your day going? Mine is "fucking shit" and boring.
What do you want doing for your funeral?
Ideally I want a Viking one to go to valhalla.
Funerals are fucking expensive aren't they? Why cant you just put them out with the bins?
alt. There are kids running round my office today. What's at your workplace that shouldn't be?
altalt. witty anecdotes/memes/ shit off.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:01,
125 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
Pretty shit. I had to go to that massive dump-hole London this morning to apply for chinese visa and I have to go back next week to collect it.
I know it's a cliche but I'm not bothered about what happens to me after I die. In fact I wouldn't like to presume how others want to remember me - its up to them what they want to do. To plan your own funeral is the height of vanity.
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:06, Reply)
Can I have sex with your corpse?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:08,
Reply)
Of course. In fact why wait? I can pretend to be dead if you like.
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:14, Reply)
Nah you're alright, I'm not into breathers(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
Im not bothered either. What does it matter?The last thing I want to be is a costly burden once im dead.
I love LAAAANDAN. To visit mind, not to live.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
How many is too many?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
I once went to Milton Keynesand then vowed never to go that far north ever again
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:19, Reply)
The North aint so bad.I am biased but ive never had an issue.
Seems to only be those born in the south. I don't know what they teach folk down there.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:20,
Reply)
I was born in the north, it's shit up there.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:22,
Reply)
So we're agreed that the midlands is best(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
I'm going to miss you when you are dowsed in petrol and burnt(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2357501
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:39,
Reply)
The Midlands is bascially just somewhere you pass throughLike a hot curry turd
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Usually maths, english, science, historyWhat do they teach up-north? Pie-eating and hot-wiring?
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:24, Reply)
I'm on a train to London RIGHT NOW!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:18,
Reply)
Oh man you are the bestest(By the way Sporters is on his way round to your house to steal your dalek)
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:20, Reply)
THE BASTARD!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
And he's trying to squirm out of doing his run(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
THE LAZY BASTARD!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
Here speaks a man who's never had Pie, Mash and Liqure(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:43,
Reply)
One of these:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jazz_funeral
Alt: Fucking book people can fuck off.
Altalt: b3ta.com/questions/write.php?topic=553
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
Book people?Is it like a fayre or something?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
Prick door to door sellers who turn up at your workplace at inconvenient times, leave a pile of books and an order form.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:12,
Reply)
Yep that's the ones.Im more used to them having an open morning in the canteen or saink.
Pricks.
They never have any decent books either.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
At my funerial, i'm going to blame a lot of of random people for a load of random crap thats nothing to do with them.I swear man, there better be new b3ta icons if I do cark it. We haven't had a good load of b3ta icons in ages.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:07,
Reply)
What would your tribute icon be?Some oboejeans? A cannonbear?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:08,
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That's a good point, I'll have a whole set done in my honnor.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:15,
Reply)
About 187,000 results (0.24 seconds)
Did you mean: honor
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
No, he meant 'honour'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:22,
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Google must have been thinking of Blackman... or Americans(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:25,
Reply)
You used google to check the spelling of honour? Good lord.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:26,
Reply)
And STILL got it wrong(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:27,
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No i used google to check what honnor was to make a witty retort.Turns out, it's nothing.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:30,
Reply)
I used to think about Blackman I would have given her a goldfinger and no mistake.
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:27, Reply)
What is this, Klingon Ethics Hour? You know what I meant.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:23,
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Boring as usualI just want to be dowsed in petrol and burnt
Alt: me
Altalt: #bafr
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:10,
Reply)
I just want that to happen to you too(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:13,
Reply)
I'd film it so I had something to remember you by(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:21,
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Promise to give it five stars on youtube(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
I won't be at my funeral 'cos I'll be dead......So, what happens there is no business of mine.
Alt: I'm WFH today - I'll tell you what isn't at my workplace that should be - enthusiasm.
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:10, Reply)
What happens if you don't have any surviving family when you die?state funeral, like Thatcher?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
I would like to be made into a giant piewith my gentlemans veg as the garnish on the top.
Alt: I fucking hate it when shitcunt breeders bring in their mewling spawn, nothing ever gets said about it.
(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:19, Reply)
I love bringing my kids in, it's well lol and everyone gets to stop work for a bit.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:21,
Reply)
I have the same reaction when I bring my bike in(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:23,
Reply)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:28,
Reply)
illegal aliens quizwww.theguardian.com/film/quiz/2014/aug/27/what-movies-aliens-film-quiz
I got 9 out of 10.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:24,
Reply)
not clicking that might be some nerd nonsense soz(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:24,
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me too :(I've not seen it which is even worse, The guardian had one on sci fi book covers and I got 10/10.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:44,
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9/10slightly ashamed
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:43,
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*misses because I'm an old school clumsy-awkward geek*(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:47,
Reply)
mine is okbut i have a very difficult client call at 4. also i couldn't be arsed to walk to the salad shop and had a burrito (wholegrain, brown rice, spicy beans, peppers and onions, carrots and courgettes, mushrooms, sour cream, cheese and jalapenos) and tortilla chips, and now i feel a bit sick.
i want to be there to see everyone sobbing. we went to highgate cemetery last weekend, the victorian excess has made for a cracking ruin. the biggest family vault there would cost about £3M to build in today's money. mental.
alt: clients
altalt: as per my qotw suggestion, my niece is finally getting a much longed-for hamster for her birthday (note to dozer, she is a 7 year old girl. you have a 7 year old girl's pet). her grandparents came into the kitchen muttering in distress. "have you heard what she's going to call it? NIPPLES!" her grandma said. er, that'd be NIBBLES then.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:27,
Reply)
I want as little as possible spent and for everyone to go to the pubAlt:
Work
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:31,
Reply)
Not coming if there isn't a free bar(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:35,
Reply)
Actually thats just reminded meAt about mile 8 of the GNR there's a stall handing out beer. It is entitled "Drinkers with a running problem"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
i want a new orleans style paradewith dramatically gloomy trumpets. Also fireworks and things. Perhaps one of the fireworks is my elaborate coffin being shot into space. Oh! and they should sew bits of me on in different orders (like arm on a head or something) to confuse alien scientists
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:41,
Reply)
yeah!all this 'I don't want any fuss' nonsense. I want noise and melodramatics and professional mourners
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:45,
Reply)
i don't do football referencesplease reapply
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:48,
Reply)
Errr marry a royal then have affairs and die by crashing into a bridge? (, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 14:54, Reply)
I don't want to be a saintwhich she so clearly is/was. I reckon she faked it all and is living with Elvis in Atlantis
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:00,
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I wanna go out like Lee Rigby, wot em slags done woz well bad.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:02,
Reply)
No need to lose your head about it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:03,
Reply)
i can not believe you are taking the piss at this time.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:12,
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innit, i dun c y we let em ere in da 1st place(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:13,
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Afternoon Jaysum, what's been the OT word on the street today? Is bafr still cool, or just shit again?(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:17, Reply)
Alright cowman. Fuck, Jay is being a bit nasty, just said hello to him. Not impressed.(, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Riding the brown pony innit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:36,
Reply)
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