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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well, well well. Someone's a very popular boy today. But time for a change of tack I feel.
I have degrees from and/or have taught at 5 of the top 10 institutions in this list

Which dead end university do you blame for your utter failure in life?

Alt: go fuck yourselves.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 14:57, 163 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Do you work in education to try and gain access to children?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 14:58, Reply)
Children don't go to university einstein.
And who said I work in education.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 14:59, Reply)
i checked your CBR records, fails across the board

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:00, Reply)
Yeah, he can't even RIDE A MOTORBIKE

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Teaching without educating must be rewarding.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:06, Reply)
You understand 'taught' is past tense right?
You massive bag o'shite.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Jesus, how utterly dull, wish you had left me on ignore.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:02, Reply)
I NO RITE

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Baggenfock?
BRAGGENFOCK, more like.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:04, Reply)
have you read his QOTW replies, tomes of lies

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:05, Reply)
According to that he's even got his kid on two point oh

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:13, Reply)








(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:05, Reply)






(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:14, Reply)






(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:16, Reply)
stop with the shit pics or you're going on spastic.0.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:17, Reply)

shit fuckign amazing PS by PJ pics
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:19, Reply)







(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Ignore her - I clicked this

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:19, Reply)
This is the best internet picture ever.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:20, Reply)
All the excellent work peej did went down with b3tards, thank goodness for google

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:21, Reply)
Bearpookie thought it was good he left b3ta forever. Always the good sign of a good picture that.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:22, Reply)
I don't know where the original is, *someone* used to post links to it before he flounced

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:32, Reply)
I enjoy his coquettish sideways glance.
It's like I'm the only woman in the world to him!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Yo ! Not me mate. I'm the only offtopicer who regularly wins at life though, between you, me and the doorpost.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:06, Reply)
Manchester Uni. It wuz good.
I still don't know why you're a racist nonce.
Is this yew?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28021485
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:06, Reply)
as i'm not remotely a failure, i can't answer this
next
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:15, Reply)
You can only claim that when you own more than 3/4 of a flat.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:17, Reply)
i could live in a cardboard box in the middle of a motorway and i'd still be a WINNER

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:28, Reply)
The McBeef motto

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Your failures are internet legend swiperoos!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:27, Reply)

failures re internet
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:32, Reply)

legend ranga
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:39, Reply)
'you're'

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Fuck, swipes grammar failure pointed out by Baggenfock

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:57, Reply)
You count frog as a success?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:36, Reply)
WE'VE ALL DONE WORSE

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:39, Reply)
I'm not sure I have

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
So what's the worst thing you've done for pizza?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
he dioes at least own an entire house

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
I can smell your jealousy of meatsnake from here.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Doesn't Naked Ape own a house?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:43, Reply)
Sadly not. Our chinoed friend has managed a half share in a one bed, which is worse than half a flat really thinking about it.
Mater and Pater had better hurry up and die so he can get his grabbing paws onto some spondulix.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)
Oh that's a shame, I always tried to talk to him 'on a level' but if he isn't the sole owner of any property, well, I think we know what we think about that.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
I'm afraid he's a charlatan, a little lord fauntleroy without his silver spoon, a henry without his hooray. Of course he talks a good fight as you'd expect, but that popped polo isn't hackett, no it's ben sherman from southamptons tk maxx.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Even that will have to be shared with two siblings
And his folks aren't stupid - they'll probably bequeath his share straight to the grandkids, so he can't do anything daft with it.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
If his folks aren't stupid how did he end up as thick as two short planks?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:59, Reply)
Good point.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:12, Reply)
Dropped on his head as a child
dropped punched
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)
They jointly own a budgie, and half a cage.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Mine.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
It's all a bit relative though, isn't it sweetheart

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
I can't see any of those pics can someone gaz me an audio description or summat?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Jimmy Hill
Jimmy Hill

Jimmy Hill

Jimmy Hill
Jimmy Hill
JIMMY HILL

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:29, Reply)
I used some mad it skillz to figure it out but thanks anyway tango

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:30, Reply)

Bear Pookie
Bear Pookie

Bear Pookie

Bear Pookie
Bear Pookie
BEAR POOKIE

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:30, Reply)
THEIS IS THE WORST TANGERINE EVER

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:32, Reply)
Mine was lovely
Based on past disappointments I'm not going to refold the peel so it looks like it hasn't been eaten then go to eat it again later and be all #sadnotangerineman
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:34, Reply)
Oh noes
Putting the anger into tangerine
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Baggenfock Baggenfock
Riding through the Glen
Baggenfock Baggenfock
Likes to fuck children
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Ouch, your rhymez iz whack

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:36, Reply)
Glen and Children rhyme
Go eat bee shit!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:38, Reply)
it's Close

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:38, Reply)
No they don't.
Different phonetics. Rhyming's phonetic.

Fucking six-toed, cloth-eared hillbilly.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:40, Reply)
it works for me

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:41, Reply)
So "of men" is fine but "children" isn't? Both being 2 syllables and all that jazz?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:42, Reply)
to be fair, children is 3 syllables

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:43, Reply)
Haha get fucked

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:43, Reply)
Depends, i rarely hear any one say chy-ul-dren surely every one says chil-dren these days?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Chil-der-ren

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:45, Reply)
No-one says that

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
yes theyb do

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
If they are a witch, perhaps

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
I......smell........Chil:der:en!!!
On the end of Baggenfock's cock!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
why are you sniffing baggenfocks cock?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
To get the delightfully heady aroma of tweencunt

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
ANDS OFF MY YOKELL TRADITIONS!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Chil-drun

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:58, Reply)
backwards 3 versus upside down e, mate.
You don't know nuffin.

And syllable counting is relevant to metre, not rhyming.

Christ.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:43, Reply)
i measure my poetry by the foot cos it's the Engerlish way

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:45, Reply)

poetry Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills and President of the Board of Trade
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
i'm sorry, idgt

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
CABLE!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
oooh, subtle...maybe stick with YM jojkes for this crowd

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:11, Reply)
They rhyme better than when KT Tunstall rhymes calm with palm and say palm all funny

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Calm and palm are both pronounced ca:m or pa:m in standard English.
Can't speak for yokels or shit singers, mind.

Phonetically identical.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
how does clam not rhyme with palm?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Its not that they don't rhyme, its that she makes them sound like they shouldn't by saying them funny

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)
So tell me again how honey is bee poo.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
Shut up and listen, I'm being serious now.
I'm trying to teach you something useful.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Look, I can Rhyme Chil:dren with "The:Glen" if I fucking want too! What are you, the b3ta police!
Honey still isn't bee poo!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:49, Reply)
Your metre's fine, your rhyming isn't.
STOP CONFUSING METRE WITH RHYME
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
why don't they rhyme. dren and glen rhyme and its how I say it so ands off my yokell traditions!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
what's the differnece?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
The difference is that not knowing the difference makes you a cunt and knowing the difference makes you not a cunt.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
are you calling me a cunt
you ghastly incumbunt
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
meter is pretty much the rhythm, it describes the syllable count
You know, like 'iambic pentameter'.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Do you think for a second that I went to gay poetry college for gay poets?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Perhaps if you had gone to gay college for gay poets
you wouldn't sound like such a cunt when you try to write a poem.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
was fingered by dozer at uni^

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:03, Reply)
Better a cunt than a gay poet! My old bass player was a gay poet. What a cunt!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
bass player = cunt
FACT
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
Surely there is some real skill in making them rhyme when they shouldn't officially. I applaud this linguistic progress.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
THX BB!

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
Either something rhymes or it doesn't.
You don't have to make it rhyme, but he was clearly trying to and cocked it up. I'm just trying to help, man!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
All words that end with en rhyme.
Try it. ben, dren, pen, horse, ken when,
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
officelol
Unexpected horse
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
in bagging area

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:36, Reply)
All of those do.
Children doesn't.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
"the glen" and "Children" are perfectly acceptable in my awesome rhyme and if you don't like it then I dare you to do better
But be warned! We're rhyming for pinks!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Alright Krilliam Shakespeare, time to move on from your archaic use of English rhyme, we have rappers now, things have changed.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:57, Reply)
How about this one!
Baggenfock Baggenfock
Riding through the Glen
Baggenfock Baggenfock
Likes to Chill da wren
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
I have no complaints here beyond the execrable use of "street jive".

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Look I can't help it that yokells say Chill-Dren

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:02, Reply)
I liked it for its referencing of the old mummers tradition of hunting the wren
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wren_Day
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
Look at that fucking picture.
What a bunch of wankers.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:08, Reply)
actually i was there only last week actually

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:23, Reply)
Oddly enough, neither of the universities I attended are on that list.
That's probably why I'm such an epic failure in life.

Alt: No thanks. I'd probably just put my back out.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:46, Reply)
In a hilarious* twist of fate I attended Sunderland University whilst also working at Newcastle University
* yes, really
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
WOAH

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
INORITE
I also "nearly" went to Northumbria
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
The only good thing that came from my postgrad experience
is that I now have a decent chance of supporting a team on University Challenge.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:04, Reply)
HI THE INTERNET HOW MANY SYLLABLES IN 'ONION'????

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:47, Reply)
3 IF YOU'RE NORMAL, 4 IN NAKERS

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:48, Reply)
NAKERS IS FORRIN?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:50, Reply)
PJ is doing my fucking lid in, sporto

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:51, Reply)
So I see
If you aren't careful, accusations of lolupset will be along soon
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:52, Reply)
Your the one biting repeatedly
It was only a stupid RHYME about Baggenfuck
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
I'm trying to make you better.
Stop fucking resisting.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:00, Reply)
I don't want to be better if it means saying Children differently

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:04, Reply)
i can never spel oinion

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)

oinion
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
:(
i spel gud
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Just short of two.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:03, Reply)
20
If you're Michael J Fox
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
you've mistaken a stutter for PArkinsons
nice try though
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Yeah, I know. Couldn't think of any famous (alive) stutterers. Never mind.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:34, Reply)
*ahem*
I think SOMEONE forgot about Morris Minor....
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:35, Reply)

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothing comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish
And motherfuckers act like they forgot about Morris Minor
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:37, Reply)
Throws bottle
chucks can
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:37, Reply)
it's this lack of effort that comes through so clearly in your posts and drives other posters to call you a boring necrononce
a little effort can go a long way
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:35, Reply)
Bruce Willis is a stutterer according to wikipedia
Which is ironic, given his belittling of Jeremy Irons' character in that topical Die Hard sequel.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:38, Reply)
Rowen Attkinson

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:41, Reply)
Roger Daltrey
He proper fucked up singing M M M M My G G Generation
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:42, Reply)
is baggenfock still an incorrigible childnoncer then?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:53, Reply)
I believe he has found jbesus only this afternoon

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:54, Reply)
+the baby
+ in his cellar
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Sorry kids! Times up. I have to leave this awesome RHYMING Baggenfock thread to go home
Because work is over!

Love you all!\

xxxxxxx
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:03, Reply)
It was a bit of fun in an otherwise dreary afternoon.
I do like an opportunity to get impotently angry without consequences.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:05, Reply)
so why do you never talk to ME anymore then?

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:07, Reply)
Because there's only so many times in a day where you can call somebody an ignorant halfwit before they get a bit sniffy.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:12, Reply)
*sniffs*

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:15, Reply)
This is how you tune a car Kroney
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGUyIOGVa0M
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:22, Reply)
That was on Top Gear, many years ago.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:25, Reply)
so was your mum

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:30, Reply)
what i'm saying here is your mum is Noel Edmunds#

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:31, Reply)
It's also not as good as the Jag-engined Transit that was also on Top Gear a number of years ago.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:39, Reply)
or even when the tuned up an Aventine on a budget

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I bet he drives a Citroen.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:43, Reply)
yer that's cool, ultimate q 'car'

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Like the sweet giddy thrill of anonimously telling a stranger that you hope they die in a car accident.

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:09, Reply)
alright baggsy, I see I'm off 2.0 thank you so much

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:10, Reply)
No problem mate
Wanna myspace?
(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:12, Reply)
peadononce^

(, Tue 30 Sep 2014, 16:14, Reply)

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