Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Good Morning Oh Tee.Tomorrow is the 14th of February, thats right everyone, my step dads birthday. We will be celebrating with a trip out of the county to visit the Plymouth Gin Distillery. Then on Sunday we are taking Battlecat, Nono and 6 of Battlecat's mates to the pictures to see Book of Life which they are showing as the midday matinee. Whoever thought taking 8 kids to see a film at midday the day after a tour of a gin distillery is a fucking idiot.
Weekend plans?
Alt. Blowjob Boss?
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:02,
203 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
Hi Peej!!!I can't wait to go to work tomorrow morning!
Then I can't wait to turn down a marriage proposal from Swipe!
Then I can't wait to watch a film in the evening with a vegetarian meal we can both enjoy!
There are other things I'm doing but I'm not telling you!
Plus payday cans!
#blessed
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:09,
Reply)
Don't be daft, Swipe can't propose to you, its not a leap yearWork eh! Sounds shit hot! Other things eh? I expect Swipe will gaz me the pictures. Don't worry about the vegetarian meal, I'll have a takeaway sent round after, you can pretend you're all full up of wheatgrass and twigs and nip to the spare room for a bit of real food.
PAYDAY CANS! I bought a litre bottle of Tanqueray yesterday for just £22 so I'll be drinking PAYDAY MARTINIS!
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:15,
Reply)
PAYDAY MARTINIS! NEU WAIIIII!!!I remember when payday
was enough for you. You've changed man.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:19,
Reply)
I'm not sure I have ever even tried Skol.Maybe I've missed out
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:20,
Reply)
Skol is the first pint I had in a pub when I was about 15.You haven't.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:21,
Reply)
My first pub pints were GuinnessMy mum used to take me to the pub with her when I was 15ish and say "Coke or Guinness?" and I fucking hate pub coke, syrupy bollocks
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:22,
Reply)
bank of Dave, to get you're greengrocering bizness of the ground?(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:45,
Reply)
this weekend I are mostly........Making a wine rack to fit the space in the cupboard, finishing off the repairs to my Craviola*, taking the Doris out for a meal in Leamington Spa and sitting around drinking. Seems like a plan.
Alt: OK, as long as I can finish on your face
*look it up
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:25, Reply)
worst Village People cover everand a poor effort.
He'll be applying a patch to his craviola, obv. but why pasta should need repairing I have no idea.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:40, Reply)
I knew you'd pickup on this(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:19,
Reply)
Right you lot!Before there's any treble, let's get down to bassics. I know this forum is a kind of soundboard for differing opinions but some of you are sticking your necks out.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:39, Reply)
Couldn't you combine the two? The cinema with eight kids might be more tolerable after a load of gin.
It's my stupid bloody wife's birthday this weekend, so I suppose we'll have to do something that she wants to do or some shit.
Alt: Yer, go on then.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:45,
Reply)
I hope that hogs-bodied slattern has a wonderful day.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:47,
Reply)
I hope she finds herself a man who deserves her and gives her a really good time on her birthday.(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:48,
Reply)
It's not hard to be nice for one fucking day is it, and god knows that poor woman deserves a bit of happiness.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:49,
Reply)
It is the greatest gift that I possess./ac
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:55,
Reply)
This is one of the reasons the Electric Cinema in Birmingham is so good.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:57,
Reply)
The bloke who owned the electric made this classic piece of cinema, seeing as you didn't ask.www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbAbGwa1hb4
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:50,
Reply)
holy shitI used to know a bunch of "stars" of Dead Good Films. Had a copy of Demagogue on VHS.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:39,
Reply)
think I'm still drunk from last night.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:48,
Reply)
I'm not.No way I was driving to work today.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 8:50,
Reply)
Book of Life is a good un. Probably not so much with a hangover though, it's quite loud in all respects.This weekend my darling wife has given me the gift of not forcing me to go and see Fifty Shades of Grey. I talked her into going to see Kingsman instead. \o/
Alt: Capital!
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:04,
Reply)
Aye-yi-yi-yiyoutu.be/1RZJ4ESU52U
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:07,
Reply)
I love that song but I cannae watch it at workI want to watch Animal House now but I can't do that at work either in case I'm on double secret probabtion.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:09,
Reply)
Most of tomorrow is going to be spent doing frantic and brain-wracking V Day shopping.Sunday will be Belgium, spilling over into Monday, with a chance of rain.
(
.Yeti., Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:10,
Reply)
Nah that must be Tuesday(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:11,
Reply)
Well, I'm rissing.Despite being a film fan. I don't suppose this has anything to do with meatballs?
(
.Yeti., Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:18,
Reply)
I think he's referring to this Ian McShane classic..www.imdb.com/title/tt0064471/
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:19,
Reply)
Just ordered new trainers. In your face hangover.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:20,
Reply)
www.urbanindustry.co.uk/nike-jordan-spizike-shoes-wolf-grey-gym-red.html?gclid=CNj2wJrN3sMCFayWtAodU3gAmA
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:26,
Reply)
brace yourself for cruel jibes ... ahem ... I don't find those sneakers very attractive(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:30, Reply)
I just don't like sneakers with those strap thingsI'm sure they're crucial so they don't fall off when you're playing sportsball with bugs bunny or sutin.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:53, Reply)
They should really help improve your running.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:30,
Reply)
I'll be able to play netball like a brother.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:33,
Reply)
Good luck on your first day in clown school!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:53,
Reply)
Tomorrow we're taking mini-muns to the zoo, then I have a 6 hour shift at a student union. The fuckers are usually wrecked after three hours, so the extended opening will be an absolute pain in the arse. Why is it that every student you turf out of a club trots out the old 'You can't do this, my dad's a lawyer / policeman / barrister!' line? In all my time, it's only once resulted in contact from the father, who was indeed a barrister, and was in full agreement that his son deserved to be kicked out and referred to him as a little cunt.
Sunday, I'll got to church and thank the lord jesus christ for cleansing me of my sins.
(
Muns, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:32,
Reply)
At the moment, nothing booked inOff to M&S to buy some good steaks for tomorrow, pick up some flowers, etc.
Not working this weekend, for a change
Alt:
*unzips*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:33,
Reply)
They only sell tripe up there(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
if only really good butchers could use some sort of chilled packaging so that they could do sales via the internet.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:46,
Reply)
They don't have the internet up there.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:49,
Reply)
I saw him at ATP many years ago, but I'm afraid I was far too smashed to be able to remember anything well enough to be able to help your decision.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 9:58,
Reply)
My decision will probably be based on how long I've been in the pub.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:00,
Reply)
male decision making improves 8% with every unit of alcoholIt's SCIENCE
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:03, Reply)
It's true.Generally speaking I'll want to go, then there will be a point where I can't be arsed, then I'll want to go again.
It's a complicated science.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:07,
Reply)
Mornholes.Tonight Im drinking bourbon and smoking dope.
Tomorrow Ive got the ex round (but not like that) for more of the same.
Sunday I may go for a nice long walk and a Sunday Lunch.
Im avoiding anywhere that will have an abundance of happy couples.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:00,
Reply)
Ive had it! Who says it lasts forever, eh?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:10,
Reply)
got to respect a man that was so dedicated to getting out of valentines day, He timed knocking up his wife perfectly.
I'm gonna cook a nice dinner and get a decent bottle of plonk in. Maybe a romantic movie like die hard 2.
Alt: twins
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:03,
Reply)
I proposed to my Mrs on Valentines Day(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:14,
Reply)
No booze involved (beforehand)(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:23,
Reply)
I didn't really propose to my wifeI just told her I wanted to be married before having kids and next thing I knew she told my mum and we were being marched off to buy rings. Not the romantic situation I had never bothered to imagine.
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:25,
Reply)
this^My proposal wasn't romantic at all
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
One of my mates just fucked off down to a registry office with the minimum amount of witnesses and made a day of it.It's much better than the usual contrived nonsense weddings entail and meant he didn't have to endure about a year of choice on things he couldn't care less about.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:29,
Reply)
Yeh then the weirdo tried to convince his wife to call him Valentine!Luckily for him she told him to fuck off so they gave him a normal name.
Unlike me and my kids eh!
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
Chaka Khan on the radio. Im having a groove.What are YOU having?
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:34,
Reply)
I'm waiting for someone to bring me a cup of tea, while listening to last night's Late Junction.Bert Jansch at the moment.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
YM!LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLFORUMBANTSHAVINGSEXWITHYOURMUMLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 11:04,
Reply)
We have a charity cake morning thing going on in the office. With dreary "guess who" first date stories like this:
I dated a professor’s daughter with a tendency to blush. She had an excessive saliva problem.
She used to foam at the corners of her mouth when she spoke quickly. When I think of it, I still feel queasy.
Not sure why we ended up going for a date but I bailed on the second, she told her friends I was a big disappointment but I thought I’ll take that, just to get out of another.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:35, Reply)
and this: I was working in Tesco Home ‘n’ Wear on Saturdays while studying for A Levels. My husband-to-be was working as a warehouseman while he was awaiting his call up for the Army – he went into the Royal Marines. When people asked us later how we met, he used to say “I found her in Tesco’s bargain bin”.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:36, Reply)
These are pure winPlease liven it up a bit by giving a roaring brian blessed style laugh after each story.
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
GORDON'S ALIVVVVVVVEEEEEEE!!!(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
I have never been on a date with someone I didn't already know.I met a girl in a bowling alley, we played one game then went home and fucked. Does that count?
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:38,
Reply)
Yes. I had only just met YM in that dark alley before I fucked her.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:39, Reply)
She made £64k before tax last year as a john wayne impersonator (
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:42,
Reply)
'I met a girl in a bowling alley, we played one game then went home and fucked'Alright morrisey.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
I'm afraid I don't get this due to me hating the cunt as much as Monty hates bowieIs it a reference to a lyric?
(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:45,
Reply)
At last! Something we can share!!A mutual hatred of the self-important, monotonal waste of blood and organs that is Morrisey.
(, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:49, Reply)
quite literally - wanking.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
This thread is 100% proof that Oh Tee is better when I am here.(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:49,
Reply)
Sorry, it's also a Dozer free threadSo results are inconclusive.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 10:51,
Reply)
There's far too much Stunned Winning in this thread for me to comply with deletion rules SOZ!(
Peej, Fri 13 Feb 2015, 11:01,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »