"I'm not a racist, I just don't like black people"
Haha those cheeky UKIP scamps! What are they like, eh?
Why are you 'not racist, but...'?

Alt: Other piss poor excuses you have made or heard?

Altalt: Something about crisp flavours, that usually gets people posting.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:49, 142 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Posting a new thread in the hope of luring Frog out from his lurking.
I know he loves my threads the best.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

I'm not racist but I hate pakis

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)

Alright The Disappointed, did DG get your pieces ok?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:03, Reply)

Anyone who isn't white is complete incapable of forming a queue.

( Muns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:51, Reply)

or the word "completely"

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

Especially if asian.
The L's really fuck them up.
( Muns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:54, Reply)

it's not racist because fat birds aren't a race

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)

they can't race
They can barely walk.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:53, Reply)

it's their glands
they transform rice cakes and low fat "dip" into pure lard
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:58, Reply)

"dip"

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 9:58, Reply)

See also 'He can't be racist, he's an ex-policeman'.
www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/22/former-ruc-officer-thought-to-be-one-of-chelsea-fans-in-paris-metro-incident
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:13, Reply)

Oh well, the police are hardly ever racist, apart from in their policies and how they carry them out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)

I'm not racist, but I really enjoy a nice lie in on a Monday.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)

i'm not racist
i hate everybody equally
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:23, Reply)

Alright gringos?

( Kroney, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:23, Reply)

Bit racist m8

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

I'm not racist
I and most of my friends have ethnic cleaners.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:24, Reply)

Do you know what race your cleaner is?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

Phillipino.
We gave her some extra cash after the Typhoon.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:31, Reply)

*Other brands of tea are available

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)

One of our engineers is this absolutely massive great black bastard, right?
There's a video of him on YouTube doing aerobics in tight pink shorts.

Lovely guy, like.
( Kroney, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

A lad I work with was given some porno on VHS (that's how long ago it was) by a black bloke he worked with.
It was video of the fella banging some bird he met up with from a contact mag.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:32, Reply)

Some of my best friends are amateur porn actors.

( Kroney, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:38, Reply)

alright emvee

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:43, Reply)

+s
Kosovo lols
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:18, Reply)

This was my very very whitty commentry on my Social Media Outlet Platform
Life imitating Satire.... if a comedian done a sketch about a racist politician, then I bet they'd also use [what I think is] a back-room of a charity shop as a setting, with two dogs in the background, and a friend who's thinking "Oh god, you do realise there is a camera crew here don't you?". They've even used under-saturated camera techniques for that 90s sitcom feel.
'cept, you know, this isn't satire.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

I dunno, Farage and his gang may still turn around on the day after the general election and declare that they were merely trolling the trolls all along.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:27, Reply)

Too late, Britian First already has that schtict.
They had a big £10k campaign to get their name on the registar and then said "lulz, j/k, dont wanna take from UKIP. thx tho"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:29, Reply)

Oh look, she's called up LBC
www.lbc.co.uk/ukip-councillor-doesnt-want-to-look-at-black-people-105324#trD5RhgOsJdmMLKj.97
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:31, Reply)

The Russians are coming!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:40, Reply)

alright Je suis un vagina

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:42, Reply)

so a good supply of tissues needed then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:57, Reply)

Tissuski.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:07, Reply)

I am not racist I once ate a curry
alt... the excuse I normally use is "sorry this hasn't happened before it must be the booze"

Alt2 Cheese and Onion
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:51, Reply)

I had a marvellous tikka chicken naga on Saturday night
My eyebrows were sweating
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:56, Reply)

If you sweat eating a curry then you are racist FACT

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:57, Reply)

NOSIR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:58, Reply)

Im not racist. I don't like any of them...
alt. Not tonight darling, I have a headache...

altalt.Walkers are doing a mix up range now. A mixture of flavours and types of crisps.
Have we ran out of flavours now?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:52, Reply)

i like crisps with a bit of crunch to them
the walkers extra crunchy salt and malt vinegar are nice, as are wheat crunchies. and those m&s "combo" mix packets with the mini cartwheels and long tubes etc - the crunchy squares in those are excellent

www.britstore.co.uk/Marks-and-Spencer-Food-Marks-and-Spencer-Snacks/c1_1261/p3630/Marks-and-Spencer-Crunchy-Combo-Mix-150g-/product_info.html
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 10:56, Reply)

I like those kind of packs.
See below for the only flavour worth trying, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:07, Reply)

Cunts are cunts whatever their race, colour or creed
problem is if you call them for being a cunt some then use the race, colour or creed card to try and get out of being called for being a cunt. Thing is though the more people do that it then devalues the race/colour/creed card for the next person who may be genuinely being discriminated against.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:03, Reply)

^ white cunt

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:04, Reply)

Typical honky.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:04, Reply)

Is this some black cunts joke that white cunts don't get?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:18, Reply)

I'm not racist but I hate the English.
AltAlt: sour cream and chive every time.



Morning, shitcunts. I've got an unexpected week off, so I'm quite happy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:05, Reply)

I'm a misanthropist, I don't hate black people any more than I hate the rest of you fuckers
Except Windy Pig, obviously, since he's clearly some sort of separate ginger species.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:05, Reply)

also, when you start typing into google search
the suggestions it gives when you get to "are j" are pretty racist.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:10, Reply)

"are jellyfish immortal?"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:18, Reply)

bit anti-Cnidarian m8

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:20, Reply)

I think google suggestions always make you die a little inside

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:22, Reply)

"why do b"
"why do black people like fried chicken"
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:24, Reply)

Everytime they are lickin'
Just like me
They long to eat
KFC
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:27, Reply)

I think they've censored the "black people" ones now
"too many bl..." used to autocomplete to "too many black people in london"

What kind of information are people hoping to get with that search term?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:36, Reply)

you collect misanthropes?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)

You tried to shake my hand when we first didn't meet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:27, Reply)

oh oh!
I did my run too!
I did 5k in 29 minutes. Not to shabby for a first effort
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:24, Reply)

you're like the new Mo Farrah

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:25, Reply)

Its all that Queern he's been eating

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Well done
First 5k run under 30 mins is a good start
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:28, Reply)

He does mean 5,000 inches

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:30, Reply)

I'm sure he's managed 5000" over his time too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:39, Reply)

more than likely.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:49, Reply)

Are you sure your heart can handle this?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:28, Reply)

he's a right fat cunt

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:32, Reply)

you can be fat and fit, you know
look at all those flabby athletes like ... you know ... ummm ... Geoff Capes? Is he dead yet?
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:35, Reply)

you can't say this for much longer so best get it out your system now

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:50, Reply)

fatty fatty bum bum!
thanks ... I feel much better now
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:40, Reply)

My heart beats just for you

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:49, Reply)

I'm not racist, mind,
but I had that Nigel Farridge in the back of my cab once and I only had to open the bloody sunroof so he could get his hair in.

Altalt: I seem to have developed a mild obsession for onion ring crisps at the moment.
( .Yeti., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:30, Reply)

i'm starving, what's for lunch?
i'm fancying a pot of penne and fresh pesto/parmesan
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:52, Reply)

ne is
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 11:55, Reply)

Who has been deleting in my thread?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:17, Reply)

Why are all your posts disappearing, PJ?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:19, Reply)

He's had enough of your shit and put you on 3.2

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:21, Reply)

everybody hates you m8

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:21, Reply)

you're pretty much equal in that, as in most other, respects

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:27, Reply)

I know D
I know
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:32, Reply)

Cheese and onion crisps are good in sandwiches. Prawn cocktail are totally rank.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:25, Reply)

i do not get crisps in sandwiches
bread is soft. crisps are crunchy. the two things simply do not mix.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:27, Reply)

White bread. Butter. Salt & vinegar crisps. Done.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:30, Reply)

So you don't have lettuce in sandwiches either then?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:30, Reply)

Of course chicks eat lettuce.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:38, Reply)

or crusts
it's almost like she's a foodfool
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)

lettuce isn't crunchy like crisps are crunchy
they're all spiky and... it's just WRONG

i used to ban them from putting lettuce in my burrito, but one of them ignored me and did it the other day, and actually it was quite nice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:42, Reply)

How are lemmy and rocky?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:44, Reply)

The last person who expressed a preference for cheese and onion had to delete all their posts in shame.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:28, Reply)

I should think so too
Salt and vinegar or gtfo
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:30, Reply)

^

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:30, Reply)

Ready salted are ok, but the vinegar ruins it. Im gonna have a chicken and crisp sandwichfor lunch/dinner now.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:37, Reply)

you know you're getting older when you suddenly appreciate the fineness of ready salted crisps
which as a child you would have eschewed as "boring".

see also cheese for pudding.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:43, Reply)

Ready Salted are excellent. Not boring at all.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:46, Reply)

I concur

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:48, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:39, Reply)

sympathy reply

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:47, Reply)

bag of ready salted opened up. then pour Worcester sauce on.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:42, Reply)

dorty bastid

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:45, Reply)

it's great

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:54, Reply)

Worcestershire

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:47, Reply)

Worcester

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:55, Reply)

files.meilleurduchef.com/mdc/photo/product/met/worcester-worcestershire-sauce-150-ml/worcester-worcestershire-sauce-150-ml-1-640.jpg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:56, Reply)

Now I don't know what's real

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 13:06, Reply)

Someone once told me to do that and also use pickled egg and mash it up in the bag.
It was a serious WTF experiance
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 13:00, Reply)

I don't get out of bed for less than £70k pa, either
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/cash-for-access-scandal-sir-malcolm-rifkind-says-unrealistic-for-mps-to-live-on-67000-10064438.html
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 12:52, Reply)

Basically privately employed isn't he.
I was a bit disappointed Jack Straw fucked up as well, he always seemed alright.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 13:00, Reply)

I thought he came across quite well on Today this morning.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 23 Feb 2015, 13:16, Reply)