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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What did you learn at an embarassingly late age?
I just saw this on that "I have read it" site: "I didn't realize you were supposed to chew sunflower seeds to get the seed inside... I thought you just ate the black seeds whole..."
And I am agog. Is that what you're supposed to do? Or do we get them de-shelled over here?
Care to admit to anything you didn't know until far later than you should have?
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:12,
158 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
how to love
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:16,
Reply)
I'm failing to see the difference, did the person not chew them before and just swallowed whole seeds?
Oh, and probably that identical twin thing, although it was something I just had not considered before.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:16,
Reply)
what's the identical twin thing?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:20,
Reply)
I wondered aloud whether identical twins could be different sexes.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:22,
Reply)
hahahaha, top work.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:23,
Reply)
It was a passing thought rather than a belief, still pretty fucking stupid though.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
You'd think a big head might contain a bigger brain
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
No need to vilify me for verbalising a daft thought, this constant bullying needs to stop.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
When my wife had twins (1 boy, 1 girl), everyone asked if they were identical.
Also, it's impossible to leave the house in the company of 2 or more small children without at least one person observing that "you've got your hands full".
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:28,
Reply)
Ha, that sounds like fun, people *are* funny aren't they??!!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:29,
Reply)
I think they're mostly just lonely.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:33,
Reply)
I know I am.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:33,
Reply)
I wish you'd mentioned this sooner.
You could have saved me a fortune in childcare fees.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:38,
Reply)
Sad times indeed, I would have happily murdered them for you and probably thrown in the rape for free.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:39,
Reply)
I don't think you can charge for rape.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
Don't tell me how to run my business.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
Someone has to stand up for the consumers
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:47,
Reply)
He is standing.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:51,
Reply)
I didn't know you were supposed to put it IN THERE.
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:17,
Reply)
I said this last time a similar question was asked here, but never mind.
It took me until I was about 25 to realise that goats were not just the male equivalent of sheep, and are in fact an entirely different species.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:17,
Reply)
that is a wonderful kind of special
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:18,
Reply)
Keyword: Birmingham
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:19,
Reply)
That's such a nice euphemism for "fucking retarded".
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McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:19,
Reply)
Maybe I was just ill the day they covered goats in primary.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:20,
Reply)
you doofus
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:18,
Reply)
I was 21 before I actually asked someone what WC stood for.
I just couldn't figure it out.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:19,
Reply)
Windy Closet.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:19,
Reply)
are you calling me a queer?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:20,
Reply)
I am.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
Casting a net to see what I can catch
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:25,
Reply)
I'm also not sure of I've been eating sunflower seeds wrong.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:21,
Reply)
They usually come hulled here.
One of the manifold reasons that reddit is so shit is that it is full of Americans
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
Really?
![](http://sr.photos3.fotosearch.com/bthumb/CSP/CSP992/k14301747.jpg)
suggests that black and white stripey bit is the bit you're supposed to spit out...
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
Do you struggle with walnuts and peanuts as well?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:30,
Reply)
Walnuts are the bigger ones, right?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:32,
Reply)
What am I, some kind of botanist or summat?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:34,
Reply)
no mate, you're a [REDACTED] manager in the [REDACTED] industry and don't let anyone tell you otherwise
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
Not much of a nut man to be honest
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:33,
Reply)
to wipe my bum
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$$ ✅, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:22,
Reply)
i don't need to do it at paul's house
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$$ ✅, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:22,
Reply)
Standing or sitting?
Most people don't realise the other 50% do it that way.
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McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:23,
Reply)
The people who do it the other way are doing it wrong.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:26,
Reply)
Babies aren't delivered by Storks.
It does make sense, their lack of opposable thumbs makes things awkward in terms of the delivery, and their beaks are only really useful for breaking the water.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:24,
Reply)
Also
That the little piggy who went to market wasn't going shopping for groceries.
He wasn't coming back from that trip.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:27,
Reply)
holy fuck.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:28,
Reply)
There goes my childhood innocence.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:29,
Reply)
I doubt they were being fed roast beef either
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:29,
Reply)
This little piggy went to the slaughterhouse
This little piggy still needed fattening up before he was killed to make yummy bacon.
This little piggy had offal by products from the TB infected cattle in the next field.
This little piggy was the runt of the litter and was left to die.
This little piggy pissed himself out of fear, having realised that he was fucked no matter what happens to him.
(
Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:32,
Reply)
My brother once had a job shepherding pigs in the slaughterhouse to the guy that kills them.
He got pissed on, shit on and even ejaculated on. Fear's a funny thing.
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McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:37,
Reply)
I bet it was one of those jobs where the pay was dreadful, and he did it out of love?
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:39,
Reply)
of being ejaculated on...
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
Bacon flavoured.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
He said it was alright, the supervisor would give people a dab of speed on Friday afternoon to buck everyone up.
Classy times.
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McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:42,
Reply)
And how did the pigs cope with it?
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
He was sold as breeding stock. He spent the rest of his days balls deep in lady pigs.
That's what I tell my son, anyway.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:30,
Reply)
I'm not comfortable with this.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:32,
Reply)
It is an eye opener isn't it?
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:33,
Reply)
Why are all the nyommy bacumz sandwich meat-eaters so shocked and upset by this 'revelation'?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
because it's bollocks?
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
prove it. Fucko.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
prove what?
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:42,
Reply)
Because bacon doesn't come from pigs,
it comes from the local Spar.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
an eye opener bollocks
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
because it's bollocks?
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:34,
Reply)
Oh yeah, well how do you explain the one who went wee wee wee weeeeee all the way home then, M. N'Heures Souris Rames?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:37,
Reply)
Screams of delight, because he was going to make it home in time to watch family fortunes.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
^Mr Babbage
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
it's a nursery rhyme
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:42,
Reply)
And they won't even allow children to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep any more
It's political correctness gone mad
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
Aren't most nursery rhymes just saccharine retellings of the true horror of existence?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:45,
Reply)
no
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:55,
Reply)
Are you telling me that Rock-a-bye Baby isn't just a nice way of saying "shut up and go to sleep or I'll bash your head in"?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:57,
Reply)
I was told off by my wife for singing the Tim Minchin lullaby to my son when settling him.
It was working quite nicely too.
(
Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:04,
Reply)
Well played.
My eldest found Shaun Of The Dead to be soothing background noise, but he'd scream if I watched it with the commentary on.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:09,
Reply)
bollocks
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
Despite the American insistence that they have superior teeth,
they clearly suck at chewing.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:31,
Reply)
that permanent health insurance and private medical insurance are totally different things
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:34,
Reply)
permanent health insurance sounds untenable
we're all gonna die one day
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:35,
Reply)
it's income protection
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:49,
Reply)
I don't actually care. I was being flippant about our mortality.
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:56,
Reply)
I can have private healthcare as a taxable benefit but I refuse because I'm a socialist and am tight.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:36,
Reply)
alright psychochomp
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:49,
Reply)
I was 35 before I realised you are supposed to wipe your arse front to back and not the other way.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:38,
Reply)
front to back and not the other way.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
alright shitty bollocks
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
Bonjourno.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
smelly balls^
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:40,
Reply)
^snollock biffer
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:42,
Reply)
The lady's phrase on this has it right.
"From clit to shit".
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McChinaman banned, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
I hate it when women wipe their arse.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:48,
Reply)
That you need to work the cliterious whilst performing analingus.
And that popcorn isn't easily digested
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:41,
Reply)
Eh?
I'm not sure that's right, old chum.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
I mean ,work it with your thumbs, your toung is already busy.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:44,
Reply)
Still not sure, Gonz, old fruit.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:47,
Reply)
Give it a try next time, she'll thank me.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:50,
Reply)
I'm not sure women get any joy from bum licking
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:52,
Reply)
They'll do what they are told.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:53,
Reply)
They really do.
When I am on the case.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:53,
Reply)
Buzzfeed LIED !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:53,
Reply)
poor Mrs Pig
:(
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:56,
Reply)
You're probably right.
My wife always complains that I don't wipe properly.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:00,
Reply)
Who cares?
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:00,
Reply)
The judge will take it into consideration if you get caught.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:03,
Reply)
if you're getting popcorn when performing analingus then your partner needs to learn how to wipe her arse
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:43,
Reply)
Or take advantage of her natural gifts and get a job at a cinema.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:50,
Reply)
And if you're getting it from cunnilingus she needs to learn the right direction
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:51,
Reply)
Haha! Yeah. Sex.
we all have it.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:58,
Reply)
you could read the above answers
and work out immediately who actually has it.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:02,
Reply)
+without wearing a balaclava or using Rohypnol
(
Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
I knew I could rely on someone to post their lies.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:04,
Reply)
not on the first date though
you big gay prude
(
old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
If I was gay, I'd date like this: -
First date: See if you get on / are attracted to each other
Second date: GUM clinic
Third date: Compare results letters, poppers and rutting.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:18,
Reply)
Proper romantic.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
Absolutely. I'd be knee deep in bumhole.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:32,
Reply)
foot first or head first?
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:34,
Reply)
He's the tail end of a conga line.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:36,
Reply)
there should be an iPhone app to short circuit this
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:33,
Reply)
The iWatch 2 will be able to continuously perform blood tests and tell everyone in range which STD's that person has.
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Muns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:40,
Reply)
I was born knowing everything, I'm just quite forgetful.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:57,
Reply)
until we were about 25, my friend thought you got aids from anal sex
just from anal sex. not from anal sex with someone who has aids... just from anal sex.
her bf was thrilled when we explained it to her. but i doubt it helped him.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 10:59,
Reply)
Did he have AIDS?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:06,
Reply)
Not any more, he gave it to her.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:07,
Reply)
see, you really can die of ignorance
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:09,
Reply)
Poor Jase :(
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:13,
Reply)
I was quite old when I discovered what my grandfather's actual name was, as opposed to what I heard my grandmother say when she pronounced it with her northern accent.
To be fair it made a lot more sense that he had a real name.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
"yelazyfatprick" is a traditional Irish name, you racist
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:14,
Reply)
when my great grandmother died, some of the guests at the funeral asked my grandmother where the reception was
"at the towerhouse," she said (small restaurant in halifax).
they never turned up.
months later, she bumped into them. after a bit of embarrassment, they worked out that the guests had heard "t'our house" and had gone to their home, only to find it empty... with no mobile phones, they'd waited around for a bit, and then left.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:15,
Reply)
You seem to know an awful lot of really thick people.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:18,
Reply)
you're talking about a group of old ladies in their late 70's
bit harsh dude, i hope they all come back and haunt you
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:19,
Reply)
Age is supposed to bring wisdom.
I doubt they could find their way out of their graves.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:22,
Reply)
birds of feather, double-m
(
old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
I didn't want to seem rude, but that does sound like the most obvious explanation.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:23,
Reply)
it certainly explains his choice of a cheapskate with hygiene issues as a partner
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:28,
Reply)
I can't abide racism, Rachel.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:47,
Reply)
I shouldn't worry about appearing rude
she's mostly too dim to notice
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old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:32,
Reply)
My grandad had no legs, I always thought he lost them when a tank fell on them in the war.
Turns out he lost them to diabeties.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:21,
Reply)
TERRIBLE!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:21,
Reply)
A tank of what? Gold?
lolantisemitism
(
old man river possible lesbian, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:33,
Reply)
Every day is a learning curve for me
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:08,
Reply)
^permanently baffled
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:20,
Reply)
Always pushing the gay agenda
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:23,
Reply)
Bit gutted that I missed this, I hope they run another course soon
learningcurve.nationbuilder.com/sacredsexuality
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:29,
Reply)
I don't like how homosexuals have started to call themselves Queers.
THATS OUR WORD
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:31,
Reply)
Most penises are curved.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:26,
Reply)
Only this week
did I learn last week's winning lottery numbers.
I can't help feeling this information would have been more useful to me sooner.
(
.Yeti., Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:24,
Reply)
NEW THREAD CUNTS
(
PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Mar 2015, 11:41,
Reply)
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