Fuckin' hell. has there been a budget on replies?!
What was your nickname at school?
I got Jason Donovan, and the equally hilarious Gayson, Gay Jay etc.
alt. what would your dream job be?
I'd love to be a singer, apart from the fact that Im mediocre at best.
altalt. What would your last meal be?
I'd be quite boring and have either steak and mash or spag bol. I do enjoy. With a nice bottle of Rioja

Or, y'know, how's your day going?

Pricks.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:12, 135 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

I didn't have a nickname on account of being the only boy in the entire school who wasn't called Andrew or David
and also because I was massive and a horrid bully
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)

How the tables have turned, eh?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

I'm still not called Andrew or David
And I'm not any smaller or less horrid.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:27, Reply)

are you sure
You defo seem like a David or possibly an Andy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)

you calling me a papist?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)

yeah but on here you aint the boss.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)

Yeah, like B3th is in charge.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)

why would anybody want authority over this dying shitheap?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)

It might be briefly amusing to ban Em*ee and spanishfly?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:03, Reply)

dream job is sian williams' personal podiatrist
This post was brought to you by the magic of autocomplete
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)

My 'nickname' was a shortened version of my surname, inventive eh?
Alt: I'd like to be retired, which is good because I'm retiring next year.
Altalt: Crisps

C H E E R S
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:21, Reply)

haha crisps yeah I always misread 'walker crips' as 'walkers crisps'
Epic lolz, yeah?

Keep it dusty.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

It's a crip from me!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

haha yeah a potato based snack manufacturer doing structured investment products roflmao yeah

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

Haha yeah awesome! It's gr8 2 b alive

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)

haha u hav 2 take the lolz wer u fined thm m8!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)

I find them on /calendar

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)

I find them in people worse off than me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)

Especially ones who manufacture a fantastic life on the internet, which turns out to be bullshit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)

Fielden.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:55, Reply)

I don't get the Fielden meme, pls to explain

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)

Crossley's middle name, publicly available on the London Gazette website listing for his personal insolvency.
Lol!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:03, Reply)

Ah, I suspected it was connected to are Graeme

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:04, Reply)

could you afford that?
His trustee in bankruptcy probably could.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:06, Reply)

Get over it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)

there are few things as amusing as cranley focussed schadenfreude

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:16, Reply)

Possibly others.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)

get over it

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:24, Reply)

I can't, it's lol
Might find out about DBT next.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:25, Reply)

ir ard
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)

Retiring from what?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:24, Reply)

Work, Jason, work.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)

no wai are you that rich

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)

Dozer has given me some very sound financial advice and I will shortly be in a position to stop working indefinitely.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)

nothing can possibly go wrong

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:35, Reply)

I'm a lucky guy, and you make your own luck in this life. Work hard and reap the rewards SS, you too can live the dream.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

my mate is completely unambitious yet earns about six figures a year
lazy but fucking loaded. he's living the dream
( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)

I'm lazy too, I put my success down to my care free attitude.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:40, Reply)

put it all into cash ISAs mate, that's what I heard

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

And premium bonds.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

hedge funds

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)

Leylandii have the fastest growth, I've heard

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)

this deserved more recognition

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:53, Reply)

I'm late to this, but this is smashing internet.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 18:42, Reply)

Wow my nickname was also a shortened version of my surname
That's well spooky innit
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)

NEEEEUUUUU WAAAAIIIIII

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)

EYE No

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)

I always knew you were alright Bonz, and now I know why.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)

like an undercover brother from another mother

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)

And there I was thinking you liked to be a bit of a mystery, well you learn something new everyday

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)

nig-nog

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)

not racist enough

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)

hitman was my nickname
We were playing football (in the area specified to play football) and for some reason a teacher walked across and I knocked her down with a brilliant curl that was destined for the top right corner.
( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)

skills

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)

I knew someone whos nickname until way past 6th form was "Carpet"
Because his name was Matt.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:43, Reply)

Milton Keynes, the UK's comedy capital.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)

Awooga

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)

I often thought I might like to have a nickname, but I never did.
You can't even shorten my name particularly well.

Alt: Millionaire playboy.

Altalt: Probably disappointing.

Busy. Prick.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)

Please think twice before adding line breaks -- your post will be skipped over if it looks too spread out or is a wall of text.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:46, Reply)

My nickname at school was 'The Studmeister'
Alt: My job is my dream job. I can't tell you what it is because it would give away my identity.

AltAlt: To start: a large selection of shell fish, smoked salmon and caviar (with everything) washed down with a bottle of champagne and shots of chilled vodka.
Main: A fantastic piece of beef, cooked perfectly with triple cooked chips, washed down with a bold red, maybe a malbec.
Then some cheese, lots of smelly, gooey french cheeses with a large glass of vintage port.
Finally, my favourite desert: Eton mess with raspberries and a glass of chilled Sauternes.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)

Were you the host of a popular BBC show in the 70's?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:57, Reply)

Kanye West?
Can ye fuck!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)

I recon he's got Down's syndrome

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)

I don't get this article.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-31921098

surely you'd be facing away from the sun if you were doing an eclipse selfie.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)

I'm more annoyed about them using the term 'eye doctor'.
Looking at the times I'll be on my way to work/just getting in when it kicks off.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:17, Reply)

You could blind yourself with the reflection off the screen of the phone, though.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:21, Reply)

1. Most people are fucking idiots
2. The College of Optometrists wanted free coverage and media exposure by sending out a press release mentioning the word 'selfie'.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:23, Reply)

Wouldn't they get more work if they didn't send out a press report?
Or one saying 'look at the sun, you'll be alright'.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)

I think it is more they are warning of the danger of looking at the sun to get the positioning correct
If you are that stupid that you think of taking a selfie during the eclipse then chances are you will have stared at the sun to get the positioning right.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)

I just searched my own name on that London Gazette website
RIP Captain A*** C*** died 1801 in debt. I hope the creditors who turned up at the Jamaica Coffee-House on the required date all got killed by runaway horses.
( Kroney, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:12, Reply)

Anal Cunt?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)

I had cruel parents.

( Kroney, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:19, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:30, Reply)

I had no idea how to navigate that. Do you have to be from London?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)

No, just not educationally sub-normal.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)

Why do you always take your frustration of a shit life out on others?
stop lashing out dear.
If you give out love, you get it back.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:07, Reply)

^thicker than Swipe
^More upset than Emv*e
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:16, Reply)

^ wears a dress to work and doesn't even shave his legs ^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:18, Reply)

It's a gesture of feminist solidarity.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

some of the patients might like to see you in heels and fishies from time to time
not in the cardio ward though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)

^ sticks to tired old memes to stay relevant and fails miserably.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

^0-upset in record time.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)

i caught out some utter bellend on it the other day
she thinks she can change her surname and escape, but she can't when she is too stupid to change her email address.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:17, Reply)

Class 2 NICs abolished!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:27, Reply)

BUT HOW WILL I CONNECT UP A PC?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:31, Reply)

KNOW WAI

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:32, Reply)

My mate's nan thought my nickname was "Robbers".
But she was mistaken. Oh, how we laughed.


My dream occupation would be to be independently wealthy, and my choice of last meal varies depending on a) how hungry at am at any given moment and b) what I've eaten recently.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)

My nan always used to call me 'Rob'. That was my eldest cousin's name though.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:29, Reply)

being wealthy isn't an occupation divmong

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:30, Reply)

the correct title is 'socialite' ackshually.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:33, Reply)

Well, whatever it is the fabulously rich do instead of work.
Probably cocaine, which I doubt I'd enjoy. Have to take up yachting, or something.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)

Nickname at school was Andy
Nickname at college was Yeti. Lots of "Are you open Yeti?" questions

Alt:
Genuinely I'd like to build architectural models and shit like that. I think it would be a really nice job

AltAlt:
900lb steak

Day is going just fine and dandy. Bought a load of cheap seed from Wilko to plant at the weekend.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:33, Reply)

and had a haircut

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:33, Reply)

I'm expecting some forest pansies this afternoon
Something something gays in the woods something.

I hope they get here soon ... I fancy popping out for a cycle and an ale while it isn't raining
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)

Whilst the extension is being built, I ent spending cash on the garden
The "food" bit at the bottom is far enough away from all the work to plant though my greenhouse is currently full of "garage"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:38, Reply)

I prefer drum n bass while I'm pottering
DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE LOL
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)

no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)

prolly for the best

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)

Sadly, I'm looking forward to growing this years crop

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:47, Reply)

you need 2 step up your game
Amen to that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:52, Reply)

Trying to HYPE it up already, eh?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:02, Reply)

that help to buy ISA is fucking stupid

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)

dude ... SRS ... this is some dull shit you're following

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:38, Reply)

I think it's his job

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)

being dull is my job

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)

you deserve a promotion!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)

if it's his job then how come he didn't even understand the effects of increasing the personal allowance
That's like a butcher not knowing where the fillet is.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:08, Reply)

Nickname as mentioned up there..
Alt. I saw a documentary years back about a bloke who carved the heraldic statues for churches and castles etc. He had a wood out the back of his workshop and would cut the log and then carve the griffin etc. looked fucking great, as they were all handmade commissions each one was about 20k's worth of work.

alt2 the liver of my enemy
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:38, Reply)

That sounds like a cool job
but for the fact I'm shite at woodwork
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)

its a minor flaw in my plans for it as well
he would do 4 or so a year so pretty well paid over all as well
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)

hahahahaha
Gay Jay.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)

fuck off, limpy

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:48, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)

Gideon Vinegars

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)

"Duuuude there are, like, people here. Woah."

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)

Can one of you Political nerds explain what happened in the budget?
kthxbai
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)

There going to be a new tax on gays to help cover the cost of aids medication because you lot fucked a monkey.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)

I ent signing up for that.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:08, Reply)

I wouldn't worry about it mate, don't you ambulance chasers get paid cash?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:09, Reply)

YER M8

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:21, Reply)

nothing interesting or revolutionary
prolly
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:08, Reply)

Gideon is handing out tokens to the pleb masses
under the guise of the great work he is doing, drink more plebs we have lowered the tax.

A token for the poor on the starting bracket for tax to 11k while removing benefits and cutting services
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:11, Reply)

Russell Brand is to be executed at Buckingham Palace

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)

noooooo!!!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

my friend dated him for a while, long before he was famous
she said he just lay around in bed all day smoking dope and talking about how he'd be really famous and die really young.

50% of the way there...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

i reckon he'll live to be 104 years old

( $$ ✅, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

Your personal tax allowance is going up a bit, as is the threshold for higher rate tax payers.
Nothing especially interesting, otherwise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

read this
m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-31928641
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)

it's getting worse on here
soon it'll just be shambles shouting incoherently at himself.

nothing too exciting. just a pun on my name and "santa cruz" after a slightly unfortunate hair colouring incident.

dream job? i always thought the cast of "friends" had a fairly cushty number going on.

altalt: prolly something liquid administered through a drip.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

ginger again? You haven't learned from your mistakes!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)

it's not a colour it's a philosophy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:23, Reply)

"The Way Of The Red Setter"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

"There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, gingers."

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)

There's an abundance of hot gingers out there

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:31, Reply)

It's because they're so sensitive to the sunlight.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:39, Reply)