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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Dead on its arse.
Alright.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:30, 173 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
Luckily we have a dedicated team of doctors and nurses who are prepared to keep reviving it and prolong its death

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:37, Reply)


(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:39, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:33, Reply)
BEST EVER

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:57, Reply)
I inherited my Great Grandfathers Bayonet knife a couple of years ago. I WWII Era and still razor sharp
I decided to look it up and discovered its not British. Its a German K98 Dress Bayonet. Reckon Monty will give me a fiver for it?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:42, Reply)
He'll buy it off you. Then decapitate you with with it, claim his money back and the police will do NOTHING.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:46, Reply)
Your great-grandfather?
Has every generation in your family reproduced in their teens, or is my maths off this morning?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)
Yes, but he's also his cousin and step-uncle

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
My wifes, mums, brother was married her dads cousin.
Literally no incest at all but her cousin is also her second cousin once removed
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:09, Reply)
His Great Grandfather could have been old(ish) during the WW2
You could easily be a career solider and fight in both WW's
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:53, Reply)
My Great Grandfather was not that old during WWII
his maths is out. He probably thinks I am older than I am
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:55, Reply)
You are 70 though

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)
I'm older than my mum?
Great Scott!
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)
Your mum is about the same age as Lea Thompson

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:07, Reply)
Bout 2 years younger.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)
My mum is 51 my gran 73 and my great grandad dead.
My Gran was born during WWII and her father was a Soldier.

HTH
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
Well this all seems to check out.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)
Its not true, it was my mums birthday last week. Shes 52

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:04, Reply)
I knew she was a little younger than Monty.
What are you now? 30ish?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:05, Reply)
33

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:10, Reply)
1981 BEST YEAR EVER AMIRITE FROG?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:11, Reply)


(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:12, Reply)
^ fat wife and a woman's job

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:45, Reply)
^is Dozer

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:46, Reply)
Ooh harsh.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:49, Reply)
Offers Acriflex

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:51, Reply)
Don't know what that is, soz.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:54, Reply)
burn cream

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:49, Reply)
Bit low mate

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:03, Reply)
^^would give anything to have either of those

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:46, Reply)
what, a spousal dugong and public sector menial work?
Hardly.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
Oh! The huge manatee!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:56, Reply)

imgur.com/r/funny/Ss2qt
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:08, Reply)
^has the same job as Em*ee's partner.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:37, Reply)
Maybe this is the secret out
Dozy is Em*ees missus
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:49, Reply)
It would explain a LOT.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
but you won't give 'that'

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:28, Reply)
due to his medical training he knows the correct expression is 'extremely obese'

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 8:54, Reply)
you were wrong about hammersmith these days, btw
king street will always be a shithole, but there's some really nice refurbed pubs just off the main streets if you know where to look.

only... don't encourage the wrong sort of person to hang around them, pleeease?!
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:18, Reply)
As the cars fly up King Street, it's enough to startle us

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:20, Reply)
anything flying up king street would be enough to startle anyone
it's like a fucking car park at the best of times*

* those times being when you are nowhere near it, ghastly den of t k maxx and peacocks that it is
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:23, Reply)
I didn't realise they were remaking Uncle Buck:
www.imdb.com/title/tt4424758/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_2
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:23, Reply)
rebooting, recunting, or whatever they call it now

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:23, Reply)
And Enter The Dragon

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:43, Reply)
And Scarface, again.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:45, Reply)
I'm guessing you all know about the Ghostbusters remake
being big film fans and all
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:46, Reply)
"TV adaptation" you blithering mong

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:43, Reply)
hello team.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:31, Reply)
hello friend

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:38, Reply)
TOOLS UP! FUCK :(

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:40, Reply)
it's busy busy up here. I didn't even get a tea break yet.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:12, Reply)
Someone has brought in disappointing cakes to go with our mid-morning tea today.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)
I am currently "manning a hole"
It sounds right queer but it's basically standing around and telling people not to fall in the hole.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:18, Reply)
Cor I'd 'man' your 'hole', if you know what I mean!!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:21, Reply)
I do, and I like it.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)
keyword: hole

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:20, Reply)
you mean there's no hash in them?
someone has brought in massive boxes of cadbury's creme eggs for us. not sure how i feel about this. on the one hand, free creme egg.

on the other hand, cadbury's fucking around with the recipe, boycott, blah blah.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)
I still don't really like this part of the site.
Can't everyone just head back over to /talk, and *bum* each other?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:48, Reply)
What is it that troubles you, MoMu?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
That he's the only one who likes *mvee, I think.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)
Talk has an "open thread" feel, whereas Off Topic is a series of closed threads, and so it doesn't flow nicely.
Also, being President of the Emvee fanclub is a lonely position, what with me being the only member.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)
You should start a new thread about this.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:10, Reply)
If I did, I'd probably post it on /talk, where no one would read it.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)
I had a look but I don't think it's going to work out

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:51, Reply)
Your approach was quite negative though.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)
But I was polite about it

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:01, Reply)
I still don't really like you.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:56, Reply)
I just made a most unbecoming snorting sound when I looked up your sig
Luckily no one was around to hear it.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:58, Reply)
.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)
well that wasn't the reply i typed.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)
I think you made your point.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)
oh ho!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)
Cranley Gardens?
Did you two meet in the bushes there or something?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:02, Reply)
It was down by the Cranley Gardens, my love and I did meet.
She crossed the Cranley Gardens with little snow-white feet.
She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree,
But I was young and foolish, and with her did not agree.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:06, Reply)
stop telling everyone!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)
Soz baebz I'll edit

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:09, Reply)

telling everyone trying to push yurt music onto normal people
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:25, Reply)
Surely Cranley Mews would be funnier

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)
farking nosy bitch, that's private

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:07, Reply)

b3ta.com/search/posts?q=cranley
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:14, Reply)
Well he seems popular

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:17, Reply)
you need to say it in a rage filled voice whilst brandishing an impotent fist at the ceiling
CRAAAAAAAAAAAANLEEEEEEEEY.

that's the cranley spirit of OT.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:19, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2470117
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:21, Reply)
*brandishes two fists*

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)


(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:33, Reply)
NO REAL PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:37, Reply)
Nonsense, meaty.
You and I are firm besties!
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)
i know m8 i didn't mean it, you're the best poster

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)
on mumsnet!!!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:30, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:50, Reply)
Yer.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 9:55, Reply)
get fucked

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:08, Reply)
do you want to buy a Stunned? He Fell off a moped today.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:12, Reply)
please tell me there are pictures? please?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:13, Reply)
hahaha. sadly not.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:15, Reply)
i demand a restaging

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:20, Reply)
Noped more like!!!

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:15, Reply)
no-ped or no ped
and i'd have given you credit for this
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:20, Reply)
Your reading comprehension issues are not my concern.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)
I got it.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
You have consistently proven yourself to be more sophisticated, erudite and perspicacious than rachelswipe.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:33, Reply)
An achievement up there with 'not being quite as much of a prick as Legless' in the difficulty stakes.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:34, Reply)
Cheers




Cheers
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)
+mo

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:57, Reply)
did he die?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:16, Reply)
minor abrasions and terminally injured pride.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:21, Reply)
silly oaf.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:22, Reply)
pat him on the head
that'll help with the pride
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:24, Reply)
one minute all was well, next minute I was on the deck.
death traps. that said, not the first time I have stacked one.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:25, Reply)
aren't you a bit too tall for a moped? your knees must have been by your helmet (oo-er)
or do they come in different heights?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
it is a bit weeny. I just sit further back.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:27, Reply)
hmmmm
and you stacked it backwards?

this is starting to make sense...
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:36, Reply)
brraabb $5 braabb brrabbb

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:19, Reply)
all day, baby, all day.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:26, Reply)
loser

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:30, Reply)
*derisive snort*

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:44, Reply)
in my defence, I was turning on sand.
*derisive snort*
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:47, Reply)

turn fall

You should have put your foot down
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)
Narrow tyres and high centre of gravity on a semi-fluid medium?
*derisive snort*
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:49, Reply)
Xactly, and the moped isn't the most stable thing either

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:57, Reply)
I should have myspaced you for advice.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:00, Reply)
Morning team internet

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)
Ouch A320 crashed in the Alps
Big plane :(
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:48, Reply)
I'm sure the Alps weren't hurt too badly.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:49, Reply)
I was thinking more of the poor bastards on board but hey ho

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:50, Reply)
Well, the mountains were there just minding their own business.
Totally innocent victims. If the plane didn't want to hit them, it probably should have been flying higher.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:01, Reply)
Edgy

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:06, Reply)
They are.
That's why you want to be flying over them, not through them.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:07, Reply)
Yep, and on a midweek flight.
I got an A380 once, the landing terrified me the crosswind made it almost land diagonally and you can look at wing and landing gear cams from the little TVs.
Hopefully they are close enough for people to find the crash site quickly.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:52, Reply)
The landing gear is very strong
A 747 is designed to be able to land at up to 45 degrees relative to the direction of travel, cos if you try and turn one that close to the ground the outermost engine will hit the floor.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:56, Reply)
Schizer

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:55, Reply)
scheisser

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:03, Reply)
schiesser

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:11, Reply)

too soon
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)
Any idea on where it was coming from/going to? Nothing on the news yet.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:56, Reply)
Barcelona to Düsseldorf 142 passengers 6 crew

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 10:57, Reply)
let's hope the in flight movie was Alive.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)
too soon

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:13, Reply)
gotta get in there quick.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

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