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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 831, 830, 829, 828, 827, ... 1

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Missing passengers, missing threads
what are you missing? what have you lost lately?
What have you done for me lately?

OOOOoooooooOOOOOOO YEAH!

alt. lunch/sheds/cable chat
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:53, 262 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
I am going for dinner.
I'll miss the rest of your working day.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:55, Reply)
yeah? well it was me that clipped the brakes on your moped.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:57, Reply)
I just got free tickets to see Stewart Lee.
That's cheered me up.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:58, Reply)
I really like Stewart Lee.
Watch how many people reply to you saying he's shit.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)
I like him too

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:00, Reply)
We must both have terrible taste.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:01, Reply)
I, for one, wasn't aware of just how terrible my taste was till I started coming here

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)
I've been eating lunch wrong and not caring about vinyl enough all my life.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)
you genuinely do have terrible taste though

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:08, Reply)
That means so much coming from you.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:11, Reply)
tell me again why mass popularity equates to creative worth

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:34, Reply)
My point being the only way to measure some contents worth it in anyway objectively
is by mass popularity, anything else is entirely subjective to the point that it is useless to rank it's worth.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)
SPASTIC^

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
wrong, wrong, spectacularly and spastically wrong.
You are genuinely saying that Fifty Shades of Grey is a better novel than, say, Heart of Darkness?

You fucking stupid prick.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
I'm saying it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what people on average think.
I imagine that more people have enjoyed reading that trash than have enjoyed reading Heart of Darkness. I also think that a smart persons enjoyment isn't fundamentally worth more than a horny housewifes enjoyment.

A proper counter argument would be that sales don't necessarily link with enjoyment. Also metacritic style review aggregators are probably a better measure than pure sales. But if you just want to call me a spastic rather than trying to form a decent argument go ahead.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
wot you just typed up there isn't by any stretch of the imagination, a decent argument
Run along now.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
*what

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:00, Reply)
well spotted, Captain Dyslexia

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)
I certainly managed to bang out more man fluid to Heart of Darkness

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
Nah, the best way is to ask respected barometers of cool, like me or McBeef.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:45, Reply)
This falls down because the collective british public lap absolute shite up with a spoon.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
Or a fork.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:48, Reply)
Funny that the spork isn't more commonly used, it is the ideal piece of cutlery, given the average needs of the people

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I'd be happy if they bought back the trough.
Maybe they could swap them for serving chips in plant pots and things on miniature picnic benches.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I just eat microwave meals for one straight out the container with a plastic spoon and chuck the lot away after

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Fray bentos pie, with just a teatowel stopping it from burning your lap.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:04, Reply)
You can heat them up? Well I never.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
no no, the X Factor is a triumph of artistry

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
That's like saying the Ford focus is a shit supercar.
It's not designed to be artistic, it's designed to be an entertaining saturday night show that makes a fuck load of money. It does that well. Hell people pay to vote, buy the albums, and advertisers pay through the nose for slots.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:56, Reply)
I suggest that everybody click this
So that Chimpy's dismissal of the entire history of cultural criticism and most of the humanities, in favour of replacing with the bestsellers charts and the iTunes downloads chart is recorded for posterity.

Breaking news: Charles Rennie Mackintosh 'shit compared to Barratt Homes'!
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:51, Reply)
I've done my bit.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:54, Reply)
The film of heart of darkness only got 2 stars on imdb so the book must be shit.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:57, Reply)
apocalypse now only got two stars?
It MUST be shit.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:02, Reply)
I'd like to know how "creative worth" could be measured.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:55, Reply)
You don't get how dozer argues, he doesn't offer any alternatives or counter any specific points, that would open himself up to criticism
He just gets upset and calls you stupid.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
And me.
I nearly ventured down to Dundee to see him, but didn't because my mate bottled it because he's a fucking melt.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)
yeah I like his stuff.
My brother is doing the sound for his stint here in ox, so we've got a free box. Brilliant.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)
your mums got a free box

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:08, Reply)
I don't understand why you're bullying me today, but if it doesn't stop, I'm gazing a mod.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:10, Reply)
Oh sorry m8, I keep confusing you with Baggenfock

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:11, Reply)
that's too far man, that hurts.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)
I'm not sorry because it's only banter and on the internet it's fine to be vile to people you like

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:15, Reply)
I suppose I shouldn't give the satisfaction, but this is the last time I will ever visit this site. So long B3ta, thanks for the laughs.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)


(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)
Is this guy bothering you Windy?
Just give the word m8
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:13, Reply)
you got nuthin' on me, narc

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Just watch your step buddy

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:19, Reply)
i knew it, you ain't got shit.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:21, Reply)
Just not in a banning mood today

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:23, Reply)
loser

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)
i totes changed it back you mod cunt

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)
*marks card*

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)
you're supposed to put [MOD EDIT] i'm tweetin' rob about this

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:29, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2485629
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:47, Reply)
SCORE!
Can't say I've seen his stand up. What's his angle?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:01, Reply)
You wouldn't get it.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)
I think you underestimate me, Tangles.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:05, Reply)
I think you misunderstood my answer to your question, Jaygles

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:12, Reply)
GAYGLES more like!!!!
No... wait.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)
being an angry sarcastic cunt.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPapltn3tTg
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOwDtx1c084
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:06, Reply)
Dunno what to have for lunch.
Can't go out as I'm waiting for a delivery. So probably a banana and some toast.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:58, Reply)
lol povvo larder.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:02, Reply)

lol pov hard 2:
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:07, Reply)

h l
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:08, Reply)
I've lost the paper part of my driving licence
In all the time I've been driving I've never used it so there's bound to be a need for it in the near future now.

I haven't done anything for you lately so I'll send you some positive vibes or something. Okay?

Alt: Lunch is a tuna sandwich, apple, orange, yoghurt and some raisins. Exciting stuff, eh?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Alright CQ

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:01, Reply)
You're doing this on purpose now
I mean, Oh haha yer! Good ol "CQ", you got me there and no mistake!
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)
How do you know who he is if you're newish..?
*raises eyebrow*
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Um, that's the point I was making GJ

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:06, Reply)
I'm guessing he was a fan of tuna sandwiches or something

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:26, Reply)
I fucking hate tuna.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:28, Reply)
More of a sausage fan eh

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:30, Reply)
Yes, ignoring your inuendo, anyone who prefers Tuna to sausages is a fucking spastic.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:33, Reply)
Or a shark.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)
a shark doesn't really have ample time to taste sausage.
There may be a gap in the market here.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
Plus they find the grill a bit tricky

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:21, Reply)
he was just dull.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)
uh-oh

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:06, Reply)
you've jinxed it now.
It's mainly for ID and such Im assuming.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)
Really?
I doubt most of their fans are old enough to drive
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:05, Reply)
its more for a physical record of any convictions (speeding no insurance etc)

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)
You don't need it anymore

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
you do and without it it costs more to renew

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:49, Reply)
alright bent jase

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Good afternoon Pansexual Doz One

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)
I miss Nakers.
I asked you how your date went yesterday but you ignored me.

Alt: My boss asked me if I had an HDMI cable with me today. I didn't.

C H E E R S
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Did you?
Sorry, I was a fleeting visitor yesterday.
It was 'alright' but I won't be having a second one. It's fine though Im chatting to a few others.

Im a right picky bastard.

Cheers.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)
I hope you find happiness and someone to make you complete

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:05, Reply)
I strive to be like you and swiples one day

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)
You'd better start the hair implants then.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:43, Reply)
Is she really as hairy as they say?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:46, Reply)
She's hairier than Jason, but then so is a chemotherapy patient

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
Im hairy nuff

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:09, Reply)
Being picky is a good thing, old chum.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:17, Reply)
Cable chat is desolate without him

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Remember when Jez made that bad prodigy ripoff 'outrageous'?
Well it seems it's gone full-circle and the prodigy have ripped it off.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=guUHZnbWoyo
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:13, Reply)
n

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Who's Jez?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:19, Reply)
I omitted 'from peep show' by mistake.
I've still got the choke out.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:20, Reply)
still no idea.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Come on Winders
You Know Jez from Peep Show, GOD everyone knows Jez from Peep Show tut
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:25, Reply)
Yeah, he's the one that was that bloke from Mitchell and Webb.
Or the other bloke from Mitchell and Webb. I can never remember which.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:37, Reply)
Don't care... it's not my job to explain everything to you.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:31, Reply)
I don't think I'm alone in not understanding

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:40, Reply)
Maybe you should spend less time being a grass and more time capturing the zeitgeist or something.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:41, Reply)
maybe I will.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:43, Reply)
I know Jez from Peep Show.
Hope this helps.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:03, Reply)
this is why you're TBOH

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:05, Reply)
I did not expect this.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32031781
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:32, Reply)
I quite like this trend of sending our pricks over to the us.
Perhaps Teresa May could revoke their passports before they decide to come back?
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:35, Reply)
With any luck, they'll keep the smug twat.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:36, Reply)
They like Piers Morgan too. Nuff said.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:38, Reply)
I don't think they actually do any more.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:39, Reply)
He dissed guns and now they're all upset.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:40, Reply)
Guns dunt kill Piers, hackers do

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:53, Reply)
the will to live?
lots of things, i brighten up your online experience just by being here.

alt: got a training session over lunch, on the enforceability of guarantees, so will be sandwiches and crisps. i will end up turning my nose up at all of it and going somewhere else when it finishes.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:48, Reply)
Lunch-time training sessions are an absolute gyp. I refuse to take part in them.
By 'refuse' I obviously mean 'recoup the lost time by doing fuck-all at my desk for an hour afterwards'.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:50, Reply)
My fucking marbles
I keep forgetting things. Got £20 out of cash machine to leave in the house for the cleaner. Opened wallet at work - £20

FUCK

Alt:
MASSIVE beef sarnie with loads of English mustard on, packet of Worcesterereerershireire sauce crisps and a can of proper Coke
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:52, Reply)
That reminds me, I need to get some dosh out for the mrs
to pay for my Kew renewal

/middle-aged.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 12:58, Reply)
are you enjoying that cooking at Kew thing?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)
Yes.
Raymond Blanc is good viewing.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
he's a very likeable man

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)

good viewing my uncle
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
20 quid for a bit spruce up of your house?
Is it one of them ethnics?
She's going hungry today then.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:08, Reply)
She works like a crazy woman.
Its like she's on 78 when we are on 33

#vinyl
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:11, Reply)
and she still doesn't get paid :(

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:14, Reply)
Not this week, no

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:22, Reply)
I'm tempted to get me one of these 'cleaners'.
I'll be able to blag an afternoon working from home as well then.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:15, Reply)
Cleaners are great
Fuck that hoovering and polishing shit
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:26, Reply)
new bjork album out
We won't know if it's any good until the sales stats come in.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:06, Reply)
yeah that was like ages ago.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:08, Reply)
I bought the last one and still haven't gotten round to listening to it yet.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:10, Reply)
you're fucking up my system.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:28, Reply)
OK "Fred Durst"

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:30, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:32, Reply)
Alt, it's National No Meat week, and also National butchers' week. I'll have a burger and salad.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:35, Reply)
I cooked a massive silverside joint on Sunday
So thats lunch for most of this week too
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
I don't generally cook roast beef any more, seems to be a bit pricey compared to other "joints"

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:36, Reply)
£13 for a beef joint to feed 5 with enough left over to make sarnies for 3 days is fairly good value, I though

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
t

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:40, Reply)
All roast meats are generally a good buy.
but when you can get a rolled pork joint or a chicken for ~£6 I generally go for them. Plus crackling/chicken stock bonuses from those.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
Not had pork for ages
#married
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:46, Reply)
#igetamanintodothejobforme

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 14:05, Reply)
Not from the butcher.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)
I don't like going to butchers, they're a bit working class for me.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Get your butler to go

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Ours is ace. Best sausages ever.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
How many do they sell.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:48, Reply)
However many one politely requests. I'd rather not get specific, in case sausagegate kicks off again.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:50, Reply)
So 2 possible 3 types then

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Just shy of

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Why be shy?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:56, Reply)
*flashes tits*

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:57, Reply)
do the sex laydee??

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)
£5 boss

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 14:00, Reply)
Got change?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 14:04, Reply)
YAAFI
Plebs don't go to butchers anymore they buy all their food pre-packaged
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
It's the plebs that work there that are the problem.
If you like to be called "matey" by salt of the earth folks in stupid hats go ahead.
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
Skilled artisans you mean
I challenge you to crown a beef rib
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:52, Reply)
I "crowned" Mcbeef only the other day

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
you created a circle of ribs from his head

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 14:01, Reply)
I was tempted to go to burger king for me lunch; deffo going now.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:37, Reply)
I dunt like Burger King

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:39, Reply)
I dunt like you

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:41, Reply)
I have the death sentence on twelve systems

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)
My friend doesnt like you either

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
Thanks
FRIEND
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
:((

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:45, Reply)
dickhead

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:38, Reply)
It's national puppy day too. what the fuck is wrong with the world?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:42, Reply)
Puppies are great.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:43, Reply)
Wanna see some?

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
*opens car door*

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)


(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:46, Reply)
No real pictures of tangles

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
They are ok as a starter
but for a main course you need something a bit more filling
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
Something about YM refusing to have a no meat week

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
Face like a butchers dog

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:44, Reply)
Like a bulldog licking cum off a nettle.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:46, Reply)
...keep.....

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
....going......

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:49, Reply)
like she's been bobbing for apples in a chip pan

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:51, Reply)
Like someone set fire to her face and put it out with an axe

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:52, Reply)
teeth like a burnt out fusebox

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:53, Reply)
Teeth like dustbins
One in every yard
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:54, Reply)
If beauty is skin deep, she's inside out.

(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:58, Reply)
haha!
I like that one
(, Tue 24 Mar 2015, 13:59, Reply)

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