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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's Monday Morning!


Best time of the week!

What are you up to?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 7:42, 189 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I'm about to do the dishes from tea
then come back and talk to you lot!
/huggles for everyone.

How are you today?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 7:55, Reply)
I am eating porridge
and about to get dressed to go out and brave the elephants.

Mr nong all.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:05, Reply)
brave the elephants?
what - are they trying to make love to your car or something?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:10, Reply)
They're cowardly elephants.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:11, Reply)
Elephants?
That's crap. You never see elephants in March. Everyone knows they don't come out of their burrows until the middle of April.

Morning all you fellow nonsensical types.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:17, Reply)
Ning!
I hitch-hiked to the sea and back this weekend.

I'm knackered!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:18, Reply)
I'm on reception today
so you lot will probably be subject to my ramblings today.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:21, Reply)
morning LIC, VC,WFF,NO3L ;-)
dropping the bairn off at nursery, wife to work then to go and do some pleading at the bank. you know it makes sense. all will be cool.

and then i need to go and take some measurements and do some calulations... started a job on a 160yo house yesterday which, by 3pm had evolved and expanded (through what we found) to include replacement of 12 floor joists and the inclusion of some structural steel.
which means a lot more work for me, which means a lot more money! which is nice ;-)

edit: morning too to beckyjsbx
edit: and K2K6 how did i miss you? *sorry*
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:21, Reply)
No, these elephants
are the sort that come out in winter. I was caught in some yesterday, and I got wet. AND nearly froze too.

Which sea did you hitch to No3l? Although I'll have to find out later, if I don't go now I'll be late for work :(

Happy monday peeps...
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:29, Reply)
and so...
it is time to be off.
have a good day, or night
abbysinia
x
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:32, Reply)
Morning, recent arrivals
It's OK, blaireau, I won't hold it against you! (Edit - missing me out that is, not going away!)

@Fuzzy, I'm guessing they were Guatemalan tree elephants then? On their migration.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:34, Reply)
hey folks
Blair - hope it goes well for you at the bank

Fuzzybucket - see you soon

Becky - Can't wait!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:37, Reply)
J'arrive
Bonjour mes amis!
Crikey, you don't half miss predictive text when you can't use it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:38, Reply)
Hey Light!
I love predictive text. Non-predict makes me sad now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:44, Reply)
Predictive text
is a useful tool, but I wouldn't use it if there were another way to text quickly. It irritates me too much!

A qwerty keyboard on the other hand is my favoured means of input.

And why do BMI airport check in machines use a keyboard set out in alphabetical order when they ask you for your name and booking reference? It's remarkably difficult to type anything above one character every three seconds!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:50, Reply)
Om nom nom
I has a sausage sandwich with tomato sauce. And a mug of tea.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:52, Reply)
a sausage sandwich with tomato sauce?
good to see some foods are loved no matter where you go..

My dad *loves* sausage sandwiches with tomato sauce.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:57, Reply)
Monday Fucking Monday
I need a holiday. *Oggles calendar*
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 8:59, Reply)
The built in browser on this phone has a qwerty keyboard
It's a touchscreen so it can. Unfortunately that browser sucks so I use Opera Mini which only has the T9 texting.
Which suggests vouchsapedo for touchscreen. WTF?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)
still on sick leave
Not that I am one to gloat, but I am still on sick leave. The discomfort has eased and I can enjoy my recuperation

What is even better is that we get our end of year bonus this month.(don't worry, I'm not a banker and bonus is performance rated), which means I've had 6 weeks off and have been paid about 10 weeks salary.

Yay me.

I expect I will donate most of bonus to charity. Orphaned, handicapped, dis-advantaged kittens or some such.
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:12, Reply)
Morning DW
Sadly I had to submit all my leave for March last week so no holidays for me. How an I supposed to know when I'm going to be too hungover to work a month in advance?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:13, Reply)
buggy
remind me - why are you on sick leave again?

And Light - that sucks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Why has everyone who's called me this morning got a bad case of
the dumbass? Seriously every single one of them could have solved the problem themselves if they engaged their brain and thought about it. Oh well.

*despairs for human race*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Hellllooooo
I got too drunk the other night and was a tiny bit sick, unfortunately on my watch. Which now smells of a mix of fabreeze, perfume and sick. *cries*
*makes everyone smell the watch*

How's everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:22, Reply)
/grins
howdy TGB.
That's a rank smelly watch you got there.

And Becky - I feel the same when I see some of the customers at work sometimes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)
@vamp
surgery on elbow. Better now, I can even use both hands to type with.
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:26, Reply)
so i managed to get the start of teh week SO the wrong way round...
i ended up dropping the wife off at the bank and the bairn off at work.
and now here i find myself having a day off at nursery...
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)
Morning all
I'm busy at work which is bloody fantastic - it's helping to keep me distracted.

How are all you fuckers today?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)
I need some
car ramps.. or at least some decent axle stands. The ones I have are an odd pair and as such makes me nervous when I'm under the car!

My watch does smell quite bad *cries more*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Morning TGB
*smells watch*
The solution, of course, is to become a hardened drinker to the point where it's physically impossible to drink enough to hurl. Worked for me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
I like this
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4904472/Flash-mob-of-Plasticine-Morphs-honours-Tony-Hart.html :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:33, Reply)
TGB
i have ramps and stands you can borrow, a trolley jack too if of any use...
but you'll need to collect them from my ma nd pa as i'm a tad busy today ;-)

edit: and yeah, your watch does stink!
(I helped save b3ta! blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:37, Reply)
@becky
what was morph's mate called?
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Thanks Blair
But your use of bairn leads me to believe you may be far far far away :p Probably cost me more to drive there and pick them up than buy some new ones hehe.

I should get Duckie to steal me some *summons duckie*

edit: Bug it was Chas
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)
@tgb
thank you.
I always preferred Chas, more of a rebel.

Morph was a bit of a goody-two shoes. (if he wore shoes , that is)
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:42, Reply)
That's fab becky
I think Tony would have liked it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:43, Reply)
hehe!
I want more pictures of all the morphs!

*hums the gallery music*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:44, Reply)
Morning all
What's that foul smell? Oh it's Badgers watch.

How are you lot today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
Hmmm...
Good morning to you all.

Good Stuff:
I had a great time in Wales.
I had pancakes.
I wore sunglasses and a leather jacket this morning, and drove in with the windows open and the music loud.

Bad Stuff:
My throat feels swollen to bursting point.
I'm at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
*rubs watch in Dok's face*
Mmm pancakes. nom nom nom

I'm getting a wii fit woo! I plan on being thin by the time I'm 25 *starts countdown*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:53, Reply)
Aaaarrrrggggg
That watch stinks, I don't know what's worse, the sick, or the Fabreeze!

Great weekend Kaol, brilliant.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:56, Reply)
Mornin' Dok!
Am I right in thinking that you were away this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)
Kaol
Nope not this weekend.

I ended up having to spend a huge amount of money this weekend, and am now going to be sking for the rest of the month. And I didn't even get anything for myself :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:00, Reply)
An entire month of skiing?
I wish I was as rich as Dok.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:02, Reply)
I should have read that before hitting post!
It was suppoed to say skint.

I wish I was skiing for a month though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)
I wish I was skiing for a month too.
That'd be awesome :D

Although I've not been in years, so I'd get broken.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:10, Reply)
We could fix you Kaol
I've got some masking tape right here.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)
Oh, ok then.
As long as I get made better than before, it's fine.

Also, I've now got coffee and Welsh Cakes, so all is good with the world :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:14, Reply)
We have a desk move at the weekend
From next week I shall be sitting opposite Low Cut Top Lass, whose superpower is to be very distracting. Woohoo!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:14, Reply)
Does that mean
we will be seeing less of you around here then Chains :p

Kaol I still have the plans for RoboKaol so if you do get broken I'll transport your mind into the robot.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:16, Reply)
Ah...
Low Cut Top Lass...
There's one in every office.

The one is ours is about 55 though.
It's not pretty.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:21, Reply)
I can multitask
Plus fiddling with my phone a lot will be good cover. *leers disgustingly*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:22, Reply)
Can I have
A Low Cut Lass in my office please.

Badger, RoboKaol would be AWESOME.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:22, Reply)
open plan office
in my absence the admin block has been converted to open plan offices.
This means off course that people cant hide away in their offices.
I called in last week and was delighted to see

a) most of the admin staff ACTUALLY WORKING and not playing tetris

b) my old supervisor looking very pissed off cos he has to share the office with *shock-horror* JUNIOR staff.

and c) the average skirt lenght shortened by two inches and the average blouse top lowered by two inches. I think that is called
intra-species competetion
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:25, Reply)
just noticed sumthing
.
,
>
<
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)
wow I disappear for half an hour to do some homework
and I come back to see people talking about low cut tops and short skirts.

I love you guys. Howdy y'all!
/hugs everyone
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)
do the following plz
enclose text with the symbol above the comma and full stop. And then preview it.

It makes it disappear.

anybody know why.

html coding??
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)
Yup, it's coding
you can also do this
Bert is a cunt darling
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:34, Reply)
Yeh...
it's soooo much fun.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)
all right
stop showing off.


(tell me how, i want to play)
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:36, Reply)
*Has no idea what bugboybeast is talking about*
I can't see any symbol above the comma. :-(
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)
< that 1

(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:38, Reply)
and
@ light i c

are you the b3tan who also plays travian?
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
Bug
Look up some basic HTML on google.

It's hard to explain on here as everytime I use arrows it eats my text and noparse blocks don't seem to work :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
<b>Tag it like this for bold.</b>
But the tags only work in the main text box, not the title bars.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
If you type
the sideways arrows with an s inside them and your strikethrough text here then sideways arrows with /s inside without spaces you get a line through it.

I'm guessing italics is an I instead of an S
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:40, Reply)
And...
stick an s in a pair of these before your text and /s in another pair of these after it and it will strikethrough the text.
Edit: yes, i for italics.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:41, Reply)
Character entities
You can type < and > in the message body using character entities.

www.w3schools.com/html/html_entities.asp
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Badger
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7917842.stm
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)
Travian?
Not me. It rings a bell though. I play Conqueror online a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)
fantastic
learned something new.

BTW.

Spikeypickle's b3ta bday today.

leave happy bday message. Bound to be in the HSH thread soon.
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)
YAY
A video full of morphs! Thanks Becky :)

Oh man the weather is lovely and I want to get all covered in oil and work on my car *jumps up and down*
*get sweird looks from collegues*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 10:51, Reply)
hey Compunder
Nice to meet you.
:)

Who is Morph?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:08, Reply)
*groan*
Just had my tea break in the canteen, they were selling homemade flapjacks. I had to leave the last bit of it, just too sickly. In fact I feel a bit sick now.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:18, Reply)
Hmmm
I'm one of 4 people that have been asked by our network admin to deal with issues here that can't be dealt with remotely as he's working on another site for a while.

I've been asked because, and I'm paraphrasing here, "rumour has it you're not retarbed"

Things might go wrong soon!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)
So you're gonna vanish V,
Due to "deleting the internet" or something?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)
V
You can't be as retarbed as my brother or the kids my mum works with.

Kaol - you're right. 10 minutes in is my bet (/grins. Sorry V!)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:41, Reply)
That's if I don't delete myself first
Eep!

:edit: VC that's mean; the truth hurts you know!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:41, Reply)
It's ok,
Just tie a rope around yourself.
Tie the end to something outdoors like a tree.
No problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:42, Reply)
Now I'm imagining what it'd be like
If I deleted gravity...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)
Slightly problematic,
I'd imagine...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)
V
you know i'm only kidding, you're my favourite captain here!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:53, Reply)
V you broke my internet
and I ceased to exist for several minutes.

Any Excel boffs about? I haz a question and the "help" is a big pile of wank
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:55, Reply)
Well I thought it was a simple thing!
Basically I have a column of 0's and I just want them to change to a 1 if I write text in the cell next to them. I thought it was something like =if(a2=text,0,1) but obviously not.

Excel makes me feel really stupid as I can't retain formulae :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:04, Reply)
TGB
You want something like

=IF(A2<>"",1,0)

Edit: 'noon everyone
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
Here ya go badger
=IF(AND(COUNT(F35)=0,F35<>""),1,0)

That'll show a 0 if the cell is blank or has numbers in it and 1 if there's text.

:edit: Hey ducky. Badger if you want a 1 if it's got numbers in it too then use the rubber one's formula.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:08, Reply)
fanks Duckie
You got any car ramps I could half inch for a bit? :p

*is very demanding I know*

edit: Too late V!!! But thanks :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)
Umm...
Unfortunately not :(

I've got a set of axle stands (matched ones!) and a trolley jack though if you're interested.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:12, Reply)
I do have a trolley jack
It's a very fancy one but as I have no upper body strength lowering the car is always a quick and bumpy affair!

Hmm I need to get under it to disconnect the gearbox and I just prefer working under ramps. I have a really bad phobia of axel stands tipping over and the car crushing me. I'm not sure if it counts as an irrational one or not :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:17, Reply)
Noon all
Pity me, for I have a meeting involving a 60 mile round trip this evening, which means I probably won't get home until 10 :(

And I'm working like a bastard to try and get a project approved before I leave here at 4:30 to attend said meeting.

On the plus side, it's lunch time.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:21, Reply)
I know what you mean
I've never had a problem with axle stands myself, but I still don't trust them for some reason.

Maybe I'm being a bit overcautious, but when I'm working underneath the car on axle stands, I always leave the trolley jack pumped up under one side, and the shite scissor jack from the boot supporting the other side. If I'm feeling extra unlucky, I'll chock up underneath the sills with some wood too.

I've always been slightly nervy of ramps, ever since I saw one of my mate's ramps collapse due to a failed weld.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)
I reckon that digging trenches is the way forward
Or turning off gravity...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:28, Reply)
Halfords
do some fetching orange ramps for 40 squid. Doesn't say how high they are though.

I suppose if you are hoisting several tonne of car up in the air and crawling under it it is better safe than sorry! That is quite extreme though Duckie!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:28, Reply)
Yup
These days I tend to just 'borrow' a 4-post lift in my workshop at work out of hours.

It's a pity I wouldn't be able to smuggle TGB and her Marina on site...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Is it though?
This is the man who nearly cut his own hand off trying to open a tin of paint...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:30, Reply)
Yeah you'd have to
also "borrow" a 4x4 and tow me there as the engine is fucked :p

It may make it to your work but it would take several gallons of oil and probably a tank of petrol!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:32, Reply)
haha
valid point Kaol. But Duckie doesn't injure himself on anything that could be considered dangerous, only things that take a high amount of skill to actually hurt yourself with :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Funnily enough
Kaol's fact about me seems to be the one thing that people remember about me.

Granted though, not many people have scars on their hand that look like they've been wrestling with bears, just from opening a tin of paint.

Edit: I got told off by Mrs Duck at the weekend for screwing a bed together with a knife. The woman obviously knows me well.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:34, Reply)
It's ok Mr. Duck,
I know that there's far more to you than just being inept with blunt objects...

Am I right in thinking you've moved house?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:35, Reply)
Right you are
I've moved a whole 2 streets away, but this house is much bigger and nicer than the old place.

It's going to take me until the end of the recession to unpack mind...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:37, Reply)
Funny
When Kaol gets told off for screwing with a knife it's for a very different reason.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:38, Reply)
I don't think I ever properly unpacked when I moved.
Still it was only 18 months ago
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:41, Reply)
I've not properly unpacked after leaving uni...
*shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:44, Reply)
I've not properly unpacked
Since leaving my mothers womb.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Awh, poor baby.
15 years isn't that long though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:45, Reply)
Nice sig V
*approves*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:48, Reply)
Hah!
You shouldn't believe everything Bert tells you, captain.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 12:59, Reply)
Bert didn't tell me that
I have him a shit blowjob...I bit his cock off.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:00, Reply)
*hands V the hat*
I may have a drink tonight... will have to ensure my watch is well hidden though!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:21, Reply)
*sucks off the hat*

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:28, Reply)
oh my god that
would be so cool!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:35, Reply)
Al
That's disturbingly arousing.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:40, Reply)
That would also be cool
*rubs greasy hands all over Al*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:40, Reply)
Hello DJ
How are those thighs of yours?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:43, Reply)
TGB's watch
Emits a stench of death. Which reminds me, is there a more specific venue for the TGB birthday bash? Or is the whole of leamington one big party on the 21st?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:43, Reply)
Leamington's always
One big party.

Well, it was last time I was there.
I think.
*shrugs*
I blame the Evil Pixie for getting me drunk.

EDIT: Dammit Al! Feels like I've been shot through the heart. And you're to blame.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:45, Reply)
Chains
Well I dunno what time the people staying at mine are arriving however I am thinking of meeting maybe in the well at 8ish as it's cheap and then I shall plot the rest of the night a bit closer to the time. I am rubbish at planning things!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:48, Reply)
I know Al.
But I'm livin' on a prayer.

In other news, has anyone ever seen this: www.imdb.com/title/tt0272147/
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:50, Reply)
Al, I defended your bad name yesterday
as The Stig was being a cunt about you
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:53, Reply)
A quick google
Suggests that The Well is a Christian Healing Centre. A bit unorthodox for a bash, I would have thought.
Google's other suggestion was Robbin's Well pub, which seems a bit more likely.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:56, Reply)
I didn't defend Al's name.
I lurked and laughed.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:56, Reply)
Clenders!
*gropes*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:57, Reply)
I missed the Al slagging?
Damn. I was too busy stuffing my face with hot greasy pork goodness.

is aware how that sounds
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)
The Al slagging was very amusing.
I actually started to dislike Al.

Oops, here's V with his Surprise Gropes!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 13:59, Reply)
I'm not V, I'm X
His evil twin brother. V is far too nice a boy to do nasty things like groping!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:00, Reply)
V, X, whatever....
It's all filth.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Shut it you cunt.
Before I shit in your mouth and punch you 'til you swallow.
(Kaol - Scourge of Wales, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:02, Reply)
I'm not nice at all
*gropes Clendrix*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:02, Reply)
Dammit
Clendrix saw through my lies. I've been rumbled.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:03, Reply)
Yeah,
I've never liked Al.

I hated him before it was cool to.

/trendsetter
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:04, Reply)
*skims Sunday thread for abuse*
Ooh that was random and sweeping!

I hate all people who have their noses pierced they are all cunts. And anyone with a vowel in their name
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:04, Reply)
I think you guys will see the funny side of this
On Saturday night I got stuck in a pub. When we were leaving I lost the people I was with and couldn't work out how to leave the pub. I was trapped for around half an hour by which point I didn't know where people had gone so I went and slept in my car outside my friend's house for 3 hours until they got back.

I think I drank too much over the weekend =/
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:05, Reply)
I started hating Al
When I was 4 and he ran off with my mum and made me sleep in a box filled with rotting hog meat under the stairs
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:08, Reply)
The Trouble With Al
The trouble with Al is that he appears to be a friendly, witty, intelligent and funny guy, with a kindly disposition and a ready laugh.

But he is the Master of Disguise.

He's a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:08, Reply)
I know you mean
"your" but it still hurts me to see you abusing grammar as badly as you abused my mum
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Trying to cover
up your shocking mistakes. This is why no one likes you!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Is it just you and me Al?
That's both disturbing and arrousing. Fancy a roll around in some hog grease?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:23, Reply)
You hate me Badger?
Well fine, I hate you too then
*dons flouncing skirt*
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:30, Reply)
You look very
sexy in your flouncing skirt Becky.

And as such you are exempt from me hating you.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:32, Reply)
snowy monday!
Major storm has allowed me to avoid the office! Hurrah. Beautiful and piling up quickly out there. Skiving with a coffee. Nice.
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:33, Reply)
wins
bored again now
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:34, Reply)
Hello you sexy sexy people!
How are you all this fine Monday afternoon?
(bill, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:37, Reply)
Bored now that Al's stopped dancing

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Awww,
I don't hate you Al!

*Hugs Manly*
(bill, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Afternoon mateypeeps
I have done almost no work today and I can't see that changing in the couple of hours remaining.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:45, Reply)
On a related note
it was only the other day that I realised Al was an Alex, for some reason I'd just assumed Alfred.
(bill, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:53, Reply)
Then from now on
you shall be known!
(bill, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)
I assumed Alkie
or Alan
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Or cuntfluffle

(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Afternoon all
I'm once again embroiled in the exciting world of essay writing. I have a plan now and everything.

Shame that it seems to be slowly destroying my soul, much like a cat chewing on a towel.

Anything fun happening apart from al-slagging?

edits: aww, I breaked it *sad faces*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:01, Reply)
*floats back in*
PoD I dunno turn up for a second and bork it all!

I was trying to do some work. But it turns out work is really really really dull
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:20, Reply)
Afternoon PoD
I'm impersonating someone who is doing formal documentation review, but I'd finished that by 10, and since then I've been reading an e-book in Word format.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:22, Reply)
We thought
you were just perving at low cut top girl
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:27, Reply)
I don't think low cut tops girl
would arouse me, unless she was greasing herself up with roasted hog juice.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:29, Reply)
She wouldn't arouse me either
unless she was all greased up and wrestling with me
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:31, Reply)
That wouldn't arouse me
unless you were both eating pork pies while wrestling.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:31, Reply)
Not till next week
Currently I'm opposite Stupid Woman, whose superpower is to be infuriatingly incapable of the simplest of tasks.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:31, Reply)
That would arouse me
if she was incapable of doing things while greased up with roast hog juices, wrestling with TGB and eating a pork pie.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:33, Reply)
What about
pork pies with cheese on top? Because they are good. I could dip it in all the hog grease as well for a bit of extra flavour
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:34, Reply)
Is the cheese melty
or is it cold?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:36, Reply)
Pork and cheese?
I had bacon and cheese pancakes yesterday.
They were greasy and delicious.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:36, Reply)
Well I was going to put cheese on
then let the hot hog grease melt it all up
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:38, Reply)
Hot bacon and cheese
equals win, cold pork pie and cheese equals not win. But not exactly fail. I would still eat it if I felt hungry.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:42, Reply)
.
what we want is genetically modified wrestling pork pies.
(with or without cheese)
(bugboybeast, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:52, Reply)
bacon and melted cheese sandwich with BBQ sauce
eaten off TGB's norks FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 15:56, Reply)
as long as it's you
eating them Lusty. And you have to be topless. And possibly covered in hog grease.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:00, Reply)
I prefer sausage to bacon
So feel free to nibble on my cheesy sausage as I slide it between TGB's boobies.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:01, Reply)
*gets naked*
*covers self in hog grease*

*feels sexy*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:02, Reply)
*slips off chair*
*licks Lusty*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:02, Reply)
Now this is the sort of thing
I can get aroused about.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:04, Reply)
Typing with one hand is hard
:(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:11, Reply)
*returns*
*Reads*

*Goes for a "lie down"*
(bill, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:11, Reply)
like tea?
or ladyjuice?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:14, Reply)
*spluffs*
Like it's Godzilla Bukkake Night.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:15, Reply)
ladyjuice.
It's slippery so your fingers slide off the keys
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:15, Reply)
I tried wiping my hands clean.
But all this hog grease/ladyjuice mix is hard to get off.

I was going to ask if anyone wanted to lick my fingers, but thought better of it. Somehow it just feels a bit wrong.

It seems like I've scared everyone off. Looks like I'll be keeping my fingers to myself then.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:20, Reply)
Sorry
I was masturbating furiously
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:31, Reply)
I was just furiosly wanking
I would love to lick your fingers. IS it just your juice or did some of TGBs get on your fingers too?

EDIT - HAHAHAHA TGBJINX!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:31, Reply)
Oh crap
I'm turning into Al. Now no one will like me either
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:37, Reply)
I LOVE AL
I have a little voodoo doll of Al at home, but instead of sticking pins in it, I lick it.

That's why Al always looks so clean and shiny.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:39, Reply)
I love Al-ex.
Best of all the inter-mongs.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:41, Reply)
haha
Clendrix that is a brillaint - if disturbing - image!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:41, Reply)
I like that feeling
of the giant tongue strokes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:43, Reply)
clendrix.
This is a picture of a voodoo doll of me.

I demand you get one and do as the picture asks.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:51, Reply)
*does as she's told*

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:52, Reply)
Thank you.
That's much better.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 16:54, Reply)
Best Picture EVER

FACT!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 17:01, Reply)
Agreed
Nice one, Lusty. Can I borrow it?
(I helped save b3ta! cackers, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 18:16, Reply)
looks at my tongue.
looks at cats tongue

looks at voodoo doll

looks up morals on the internet.

contemplates
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 20:46, Reply)

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