And the 66 pence credit card bill saga rumbles on...
I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago. I paid off a credit card bill in full, only to be presented with a statement last month for 66p. I chalked this up to maybe not leaving enough time for the transaction to go through, having left only a couple of days before the 'payment due' date. Anyway, failure to be able to pay it off on line resulted in my writing a cheque to clear it (which, having checked my bank balance today still doesn't seem to have been processed, some two weeks after I posted it).

Got home this evening to find a new statement, which indicates that the 66p has indeed been credited to my account as of 4th August. Yay! I'm debt free, apart from the three grand owing on the other card. That's good. Phew. Etc. Then I scanned down the statement to find that my new outstanding balance is.... £0.01.

How the shuddering fuck can this be???? Do I really need to write another cheque for a fucking penny? What will be the interest accumulated if I just don't pay the fucker off this month? Writing the bloody cheque and posting it, plus the administration, will cost disproportionately more than the outstanding debt, ffs! As will ringing them tomorrow.

I dunno. I bet they're all terrorists. Just wait until Fox Noos gets hold of this...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:18, 197 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

so mail them a fucking penny

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

But a stamp costs nearly 40p
I'm not wasting nearly 40p and the cost of an envelope doing that. They'll just have to send the bailiffs round!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:53, Reply)

tape it to a post card

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 21:05, Reply)

YES!
I will do THIS THING!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:39, Reply)

MTFU
Burn them
Fall over a dog
Apply for a visa
Honda accord them
YM

Just a few of the replies that will no doubt be spawned by this thread, so I thought I'd save people some time. My personal choice would be to burn them, but then I advocated stabbing people to a surprised cashier in boots this evening.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

She was most surprised
when you plunged the knife in to her chest cavity...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:36, Reply)

LOLZORZ. I was advocating the stabbing of people who hold up till queues by arguing over their fucking boots points
when there's people waiting behind them.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

WHAT CUNTS
I agree. It's like people that argue over clubcard points, the dicks
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:42, Reply)

I have no problem with them doing so
as long as it's at the fucking CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK which the lady was trying to tell her so she would fuck off and let her serve other people. Don't blame the cashier that the stuff she has rung up correctly has not shown up on your receipt when it's clearly an instore problem with the pricing instead. Bastard customers.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:48, Reply)

Is it from the bank?
If so, walk down there (free) and chuck a penny at them while shouting "FUCKTARDS!"
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Bullet proof glass
No dice.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

Silly Becky
Pennies is not bullets.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:41, Reply)

So then how does one propose to throw said penny at bank people?
burn it first and then throw the penny at the smoking corpse.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:49, Reply)

With SUPREME VIKING FORCE POWER

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

Oh that...
Yeah I suppose you could try that. I'll stand behind you with a flamethrower though just in case.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:53, Reply)

What a team!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:22, Reply)

You could be a tag team
It would be all kinds of awesome
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:30, Reply)

Wait, I thought we already were

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:34, Reply)

You're the Bushwackers?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:37, Reply)

*flexes*

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:39, Reply)

Damn that's hot
I might not let you go tomorrow.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:40, Reply)

Oi, he's mine
Until next Friday morning, he is mine...DiT, you realise that this time next week you'll be a married man. I was thinking that this evening while I was shopping for a FUCKING HANDBAG. Yes that's right a fucking HANDBAG. Me. Handbag. All kinds of wrong.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:41, Reply)

GAYER!
ON LINE!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:42, Reply)

Are you calling me a fucking gayer?
Or are you trying to entice a rather trollish cunt out of the woodwork?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:47, Reply)

He's down the pub playing darts

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:48, Reply)

With his slickback quifftastic debonair charms, I bet he's got the laydeeeez goading him on to score a bullseye
nudge nudge wink wink
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:51, Reply)

rubs knees

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:51, Reply)

Those aren't knees
that's a disgustingly distended pair of wrinkly clits.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:52, Reply)

pfffft!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:55, Reply)

Damn straight. I'm so awesome I have DOUBLE CLITORIS'
or would it be clitori?

Not terribly bothered about the spelling, more that I have TWO WHOLE CLITORIS' and i'm too tired to use them right now
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:56, Reply)

No I'm not!
I'm here wrestling with a hamster.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:52, Reply)

You've not got it stuck up there again have you?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:53, Reply)

Yeah
But YM managed to get it back out again with one of her discarded breast pumps and a large vat of KY jelly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:57, Reply)

She's such a poof

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:48, Reply)

Only for certain ladies
One very sexy one of which I babbled at at length earlier. I'm sure she understands though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:52, Reply)

babbled on here or IRL?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:55, Reply)

IRL on the telephonic device I have and everything

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Wow, a telephonic device
I bet all the kids will want one of them soon.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:58, Reply)

Bet your sweet sweet ass they will
But this one is mine...all mine
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:01, Reply)

A HANDBAG?
I've got one too, but I'm told its proper name is a Sporran.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:58, Reply)

Mine's a real life genuine handbag. Some woman's fucking written on it though. Bitch

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:01, Reply)

What did she write on it?
McDonald's?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:04, Reply)

Lulu Guiness

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Who the fuck?
I've never heard of her, so she must be great!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:08, Reply)

Me either. But then I don't do bags
I shall google and tell you.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:10, Reply)

Apparently she's quite a big name in bags. Usually around the £150 mark
Fucking glad I didn't pay that. All my other bags say Karrimor or Lowe Alpine on them.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Do you keep bacon in it?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:04, Reply)

And sausages and eggs and porridge and wine gums

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:05, Reply)

Not yet, but I will
I actually had to go on a more girl friendly forum I use and ask what the bag inside the bag was for. Apparently it's to keep it from getting dusty. WHO KNEW!?!??!?!?!!!!!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:07, Reply)

horns

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:40, Reply)

STOP IT!
this is a perfectly serious thread and you're hijacking it with your pseudo-sexual innuendo type testosterone flexing on line flirting!

*cries*

*clicks om moneysavingexpert in the hope of sensible consooomer advice*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:42, Reply)

I didn't know that om moneysavingexpert did sensible consumer advice
I thought they only dealt in sacred coos
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:43, Reply)

Pedant!
Just for that I'm not going to change it.

*pokes tongue out*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:48, Reply)

Cuts tongue off and sells it dahn Camden Market

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:50, Reply)

that's only because you haven't worked out how to yet
isn't that right grandad!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:50, Reply)

I'LL SET MY FUCKING HAMSTER ON YOU!
You faux northerner you.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:54, Reply)

Well, I've never been so insulted in my life.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Southerner!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:57, Reply)

That's the last time I make you a pretty card

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:57, Reply)

You made me something?
Are you sure you're not going to turn up at the "if anyone here knows of any lawful impediment why these cunts should not be married" bit?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:00, Reply)

Oh woops
sorry I thought you were DG, I didnt' read your name properly.

I'll have to make you something now.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:01, Reply)

O YOU BASTARD.
I don't want your sympathy creations.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:02, Reply)

But I likes your pretty cardz
You give my missus massive chebs and everything!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Fucking hell, did he catch them from Al's mum?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:05, Reply)

CUNT
/Fail
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:57, Reply)

You haven't seen him.
He's got the biggest fucking pair of bollocks I've ever seen on a rodent.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:58, Reply)

Do they drag along the ground?
I had rats who did
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Pretty much
The more you handle him, the bigger they get until he's got his very own spacehopper.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:04, Reply)

hahahaha, have him castrated
Or PTS. I hate hamsters
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:08, Reply)

Aw no
He's lovely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

All hamsters are bastards. Trufact.
Especially if their name is Trevor or fluffy.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Ours is called Reg
and he'd bite your tits off!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:18, Reply)

Now there's a reason to adopt a fuzzy beast!
He sounds enchanting
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:22, Reply)

It's a Goldfish card
Which is now owned by Barclays, with whom I bank. So I guess I could do that, yeah.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

:(
It is a bloody pain, I know. I've spent half the day arguing the point with crapital one about their unholy hikes in APR. To the point where I've had to apply for another card, something I didn't want to do. Gits.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:52, Reply)

MTFU
Burn them
Fall over a dog
Apply for a visa
Honda accord them
YM


Etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 20:54, Reply)

Sensible advice all.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:21, Reply)

Virgin did that to me
I ignored it and they cleared it after 3 statements. Not heard from them since.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 21:06, Reply)

Have you considered using online banking?
You can just transfer the funds from the comfort of your swivel-chair without having to worry about the price of a postage-stamp. Just don't do this when drunk.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 21:38, Reply)

But I don't keep my funds in a swivel chair
I have a bank account. It's not as secure, but it serves.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 21:47, Reply)

My swivel-chair's funds can be accessed online.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:03, Reply)

I did.
When I tried to pay the 66p off on line, it wouldn't work and the site kept telling me I needed to pay the minimum amount - which was 66p. Hence the cheque.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:07, Reply)

I owed HFC £0.02 for... actually I still owe them 2p
They just stopped sending the monthly bills after a while. They only charge interest on the pounds.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 21:46, Reply)

file it
i wouldn't have paid the 6p in the first place

they will never send this to legal, so just ignore it
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:36, Reply)

I will do THIS THING also!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:40, Reply)

AND BURN THEM

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:42, Reply)

YES!
Then run them over in my Honda Accord!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:43, Reply)

And fall over a dog

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:48, Reply)

OMG, I forgot to tell you. I DID FALL OVER A DOG TODAY.
It wasn't very exciting though. She was attached to a drip and she got too excited seeing me and tangled me up in the dripline. Silly rotty.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:49, Reply)

HA!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:01, Reply)

Thanks
Really. Thanks
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:08, Reply)

Yes.
And then I shall give someone a paper cut with my visa.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:50, Reply)

I thought it was a Mastercard?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:54, Reply)

Fuck off
in the nicest possible way, of course.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:00, Reply)

Them's fighting words

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:25, Reply)

And then catch gonorrhoea from Al's mum
All the cool kids have got it
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:48, Reply)

She gave *me* Dropsy.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Have your scales all protruded?
*Goldfish disease joke*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 22:59, Reply)

I do have one prototusion.
But you don't want to see that.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:01, Reply)

POIDH

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:04, Reply)

It's just all that bacon in his sporran and his awesome socks.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:05, Reply)

My socks *are* awesome, you cunt.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Your socks are purest comedy and I can't wait to see you in them again
I'll need Clendrix to help me with my pointy finger and hysterical cackle
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:09, Reply)

WHAT?
MY SOCKS ARE NOT COMEDY, THEY ARE HIGHEST FASHION!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:10, Reply)

Falls over a dog

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

gets australian visa.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

*applies for Visa*

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:13, Reply)

JINX!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Punch Buggy Yellow!
*gives dead arm*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:16, Reply)

What?
That must be one of those homo-erotic middle class things.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Punch buggy BLOO
No returns
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

That's what all us nice boys used to do
at our comprehensive.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

comprehensive borstal.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:24, Reply)

borstal Jersey Care Home
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

It's what us not so nice girls used to do at our catholic school

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

No
you just used to shove crucifixes up your clunges and spin your heads around and swear at priests.

I've seen bits of The Exorcist.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Well among other things, sure
but we also did punch buggy [insert colour of choice here]
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:37, Reply)

Right.
Gwyneth Paltrow. I do not fancy her. But dye her hair ginger and call her Pepper Pots and GrrrRrrrr! /testosterone
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

I'd test your osterone.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

I'd Oster your Testes.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'd tetch your otters

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

I'd root your toes

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Would you two just fuck already please?
Time's running out for both of you
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:19, Reply)

We can't.
It'd be like meeting your idols, we'd both end up disappointed.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Well, I would
you'd have a fucking amazing time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:21, Reply)

If you were less arrogant and more of a considerate lover
then maybe I would. But it's a quick finger up the bum, then WHAM WHAM WHAM and a warm sticky feeling. And then a wobbly walk home.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:24, Reply)

I just get so angry after I finger your bum
I can't help but punch you three times in the nose and leave you to make your own way home. It's your filthy homo nature. It disgusts me.

But at the same time I love it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

I'm reporting you to Stonewall
you horrible violent homophobe. SEXY.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:30, Reply)

I'm deporting you to stonehenge
so you can sit among the big stones and think about what you did
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:38, Reply)

I'm stoning you with deportment.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:39, Reply)

I have fabulous deportment skills thank you.
I just choose to act like a twat so you lot don't think I'm a snob at bashes. Really I'm looking down my nose at you all thinking WHY?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:43, Reply)

That's nothing
my driver takes me to bashes in a Bently, I change out of my standard top hat and tails and put on some jeans and other clothes I borrow from the gardener and then glue on some false stubble to make you think i'm lower class.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:45, Reply)

That's FAR TOO DESCRIPTIVE for it not to be true

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Like that time you violated me with a green banana and half a pound of pickled swan meat.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:30, Reply)

That definitely happened
I remember the call I got from your mrs afterwards.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Yeah, she was wondering what the smell was

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Not necessarily
I did, did him, wasn't disappointed
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Bert was your idol?
Wow, you're more fucked up than I thought.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Hahahahahhahaha. No
Cunt
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

You are Robert Downey Jr
AICMFP!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:12, Reply)

If he was
Then his Mrs wouldn't be getting him next weekend. He'd be locked in my understairs cupboard.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'd get out.
Master of escapology, me. Hence why I type this now.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Why
did she leave you handcuffed to the bedposts earlier?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Why?
Because I CAN HAZ BEEN NAWTY.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Does she beat you with her rubber truncheon?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

She shoots me with rubber bullets.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:22, Reply)

From her well toned vag?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

I... I have no response.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:24, Reply)

I had that exact same reaction
It really does leave you speechless doesn't it. Especially when she's dressed as a bee.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:25, Reply)

HAHA
Stalker!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

errrrr, yeah
yeah, that's exactly why I know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Bullshit. He'd be tied to my bed

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:18, Reply)

I Wish.
Man, the guy is brilliant.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Especially
when he's wearing metal underpants. Eh?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:17, Reply)

EH?
Yes. I love Iron Man
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:18, Reply)

I can't wait for teh sequel
Black Widow? That'll do.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Whiplash.
With Mickey Rourke playing him.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Like, WTF?
Also, Avengers!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:21, Reply)

But Thor!?
shit character
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:22, Reply)

Tru Dat

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

Needs moar Sam Jackson as Nick Fury.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

HULK SMASH!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:25, Reply)

Nick Fury wasn't black originally
But Marvel reinvented him in the Ultimates series and took their inspiration from Samuel L Jackson.

It's almost as if the film makers knew... spooky.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Sam Jackson
is twenty kinds of aweseome.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

He's the only Jedi
to have had a purple lghtsaber too.

God I'm starting to get pissed, my fingers won't type properly...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:29, Reply)

That's Parkinson's for you.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:31, Reply)

Pffffft!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Nah, young people get that too
You're thinking of Raynaud's disease.

Could be Lupus of course
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Is you calling me old?
cos you'd be more or less right
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:36, Reply)

Maybes
It's ok. I'm old too :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:38, Reply)

You're not old
You're just less young than you used to be. Like meself.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:47, Reply)

pfft, we're old. Accept it and embrace it
speaking of which, I've been up since 5am and have worked my first five day week in 8 months. I'm officially tired. Night x
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:50, Reply)

TRU DAT
Parkinson's Disease is a bastard. I've just had Tom Cruise and Billy Connolly in all night talking about their new book/film/stand-up show.

Bastards have drunk all me coffee.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Oof!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Pffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Fail

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:39, Reply)

FUCKS SAKE
Have you lot seen this?

www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2009/aug/14/freddy-krueger-nightmare-on-elm-street

For those who can't be arsed, they're making a new Nightmare on Elm Street...without Robert Englund...with Earle Haley - Rorschach from Watchmen...and they're making Freddy serious. WTF?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

OH NO WHAT WILL I DO?
I've never seen Nightmare on Elm Street
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

We must get together in our PJs and watch it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

We must get cum together in our PJs and watch it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:38, Reply)

How have you never seen it?
Adds to shit list
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:39, Reply)

Because I'm a big girl's fanny when it comes to horror films.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Sat 15 Aug 2009, 0:03, Reply)

Freddy is MEANT to be serious
he's a child molesting murderer. He's not cuddly. It will still be a shit film though. The only decent nightmare is New Nightmare.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Granted he only became more cuddly and a caricature of himself as the films went on
but to make a new one with a different person playing Freddy, no matter how good he is, just seems a bit wrong. Did they learn nothing from the new Friday the 13th film? Utter cack.

God I loved new nightmare
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:40, Reply)

The thing is though
the old Friday 13th films were also crap. They were all very bad films, but if you watch them all, you sort of amalgamate them in your head into one half decent horror, but they are generally not good.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:44, Reply)

Oh I agree, my reasoning behind comparing the two is that they were the two big horror saga's of the 80s
that are now going through a revival. It's just a shame they didn't leave them the hell alone.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:47, Reply)

But they have potential
that wasn't actually realised. None of the original Nightmare films were that scary, but the concept is terrifying. A man who kills you in your dreams, that's a scary thought. But due to low budgets it wasn't well executed and then it was destroyed by sequels.

Actually, Friday has far less potential as it's just a generic slasher pic. I thought Jason X was really funny and an excellent way of making a jumpy horror film which was also funny.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:51, Reply)

They're also remaking An American Werewolf in That There London
It'll be shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

I didn't rate the original that highly anyway, but I haven't seen it since I was a kid

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:41, Reply)

In other film news I'm watching Crank

I feel stupider by the second
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:44, Reply)

I rather enjoyed Crank
I'm looking forward to seeing Crank 2.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:46, Reply)

I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:48, Reply)

It's probably my favourite horror movie ever.
I just love the humour and Englishness of it.

Plus it's got a whole last reel set in a porno cinema. What's not to like?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:45, Reply)

My mum walking in on me and my mate watching it, aged 8 while the main character's a bit nekkid.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:48, Reply)

watching it, aged 8 while the main character's
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:51, Reply)

Your mum walking in on me and my mate watching it, aged 8 while the main character's a bit nekkid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:53, Reply)