I am catastrophically bored
so I'd like you to tell me the last piece of juicy gossip you heard. Change the names etc to protect the innocent and stuff.

I heard this morning that one of the companies whose employees we run around is closing in a couple of weeks but the workers don't know anything about it. I think I might have dropped a bollock.

Gossip me up!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:53, 244 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I got this email from a mate today
"tomorow night is reserved for utter misery & finally getting my heart officially broken :o) going for dinner at Janet Street-Porters. "
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Does he fancy her then?
I think he's going to be disappointed, I heard she's not sexually compatible with humans.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:55, Reply)

I changed the name,
it was actually her boyfriends name.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:56, Reply)

People seem to involve you in their torrid personal lives quite a lot.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:58, Reply)

I'm good at mocking their misery.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:58, Reply)

That is very apparent.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:59, Reply)

I've been shredding my diaries from when I was a teenager
I was a tedious cunt back then, no wonder I never got any fanny.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:04, Reply)

you didn't get any fanny because you were a diary writing gay
and everyone knew it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Apparantly so

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:06, Reply)

I write a blog
but I am a bit gay. Not getting any fanny either. By George, Vipros, you might be onto something here.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:07, Reply)

You should have sold them to Jaqueline Wilson.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Hahahaha
I found some of my diaries before I moved to London, I was a silly little girl. Also my mum used to write me notes in my diary and I had forgotten about that... so much for confidentiality in my house.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:08, Reply)

bet you didn't get any fanny either
further proof that my theory holds water
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

i wrote a poncey teenage diary and got plenty of fanny

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Your own doesn't count
it doesn't make you a lesbian either
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:10, Reply)

I was a teenage lesbian so nuuurrr

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:11, Reply)

I'm sure there is some reason why that doesn't count

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

It doesn't count because you didn't have mad waitressing SkillZ
and you have a UK passport and as such don't need a Visa to go to other European countries.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Boo-Yah!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:16, Reply)

*trigger fingers*
It's been a while since I got the chance to use that old chesnut.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

That's exactly what I was thinking
*trigger fingers*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Hahhaah it so fucking counts!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Dammit

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Nope
But I did see some in a tree once... ah tree porn, where have you gone.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:11, Reply)

My aunty and my mum had an argument when I was a teenager
because my mum said she knew where my diary was but didn't read it.
My aunty called her a bad mother!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Hahahaha
So by her logic, my mother reading and commenting in my diary means that she was a good mother? Oh I seeeeee.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:10, Reply)

The best around!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:11, Reply)

My suspicions are confirmed.
Tell your aunt I said thank you! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:13, Reply)

I think your mother did an excellent job.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:13, Reply)

Hand, rim or blow?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

I'm so confused now...
are you paying me a compliment or are you just setting me up for a YM joke…


*pulls hair*
WHAT DO I SAY!?!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:15, Reply)

If in doubt hurl abuse.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:16, Reply)

Ah a valid point
thank you Chompy, my one true B3ta friend! *gurns*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Did your mum correct your spelling in your diary?
If I ever have kids I'd like to do that, maybe give them a mark out of 10 for each week.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Hahahaha
Not that I'm aware of. She usually just used to comment about things I had moaned about... as an example, my dad had shouted at me about something daft and I'd written 'My dad shouted at me today for no reason and it really upset me, why do I always get the blame' (ahem EMO). My mum had replied 'Don't worry about your dad, he's just very tired and stressed at the moment due to work, he loves you very much and so do I' - Hahahaha, bless her.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Aww that's sweet.
I'm sure you deserved to be shouted at though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Probably
I was more than likely beating up my brother or something.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Sisters are evil.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:39, Reply)

say nothing
just assume the position and brace yourself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:16, Reply)

Fuck the position
I'm getting the sock which holds the brick of justice and I'm going to thwak his tits off!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:20, Reply)

I'm going to get the sock
which holds the crusty spunk of self pity and give it a good sniff.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Do it man
DOOOOOOO IT!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Awww
I just realise I should have said I was going to thwak off on your tits, that would have been much funnier.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Its too late for that now man
the tit thwaking train has left the station, you're just standing on the platform in your crusty shoes with nothing to show for yourself.

How does it feel monkeyboy?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:27, Reply)

It feels cold
and my willy has shrunk back into my pants.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:31, Reply)

*sends in a search party*

( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:32, Reply)

By 'search party'
do you mean your hands? Hmmmm? Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I wish!
She actually means Wookie with a gimp mask on.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Oooh!
I might need to have a 'lie down' now.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:34, Reply)

It's not a gimp mask, it's a gas mask. For health and safety rather than deviance reasons.
I will also need a crane to get your gut out the way. You tubby cunt.


(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Hurray! Fat Al!
Best of all the Als.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I knew that would happen

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Get your hands away from your crotch, you dirty bitch.

( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Your resignation doesn't make me enjoy it any less.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:42, Reply)

I have that as a screen saver at home.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:43, Reply)

fuck sake.
is that really althegeordie, or is it simply some elaborate piss-take?

really got that rapist look going, whoever it is.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Of course it's really me
you retard
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I may be a retarded,
but at least i ain't a lolfatty rapist.

Seriously though, you do bear more than a passing resemblance to the famous rapist, murderer and children's entertainer, John Wayne Gacy.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Aw man,
if I had photoshop I'd totally clown that motherfucker up, right there.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

*facepalms*

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I liked
"a retarded".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

with a microscope

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:34, Reply)

And a plank with a nail through the end.

( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Ouch
:S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:36, Reply)

She always carries that around with her
I'm sure it's not a healthy thing to have as a clit piercing.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

M&S just don't make the knickers for it :(

( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:41, Reply)

With that and your aweseome norks
it's a wonder you can buy underwear anywhere. You probably have to walk around without any on for long periods of time.

*has a little wank*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:43, Reply)

I do.
But running for the bus the other day nearly killed me.
And the people nearby.
( thealternativefact, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Awww sad times
Here have a cookie
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:32, Reply)

*click*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, Reply)

*winks*
Thanks
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:29, Reply)

"It appears to be an inside job"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Ooh, juicy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:06, Reply)

I know
I totally hope it all gets foond oot aboot too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:07, Reply)

I'm going for me dinner
You all smell of onions
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:12, Reply)

Oh, lovely, thanks shallot.
*dies*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

I know someone on B3ta who fancies someone else on B3ta.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Oh, me too!
I wonder if we're talking about the same people?
Edit: Oh!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:15, Reply)

Everyone knows I fancy DiT
even his wife.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

*nods head*
truefacts
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Everyone fancies his wife
so that bit of gossip could mean anyone.
( Peej, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I doubt it.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Me too.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:19, Reply)

You two should both totally spill the beans.
There might be a potential for a threesome.

Oh man, I love threesome, esspeically the awquard silance the next morning.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

No accounting for taste.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:17, Reply)

It's not you.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:18, Reply)

how did my secret get out!!?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Good, I'm giving up on women until I'm moved in to my new place.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, Reply)

This is a lie.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, Reply)

Look
big girls blouse doesn't fancy psychochomp - 8
big girls blouse fancies psychochomp - 51
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:22, Reply)

FACT

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Google WINS!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

There's no arguing with Internet facts, FACT.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

it's not me i'm talking about.
everybody knows who i fancy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Is it me?
Its no secret that I love everyone

*whores*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I don't

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:30, Reply)

nor me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I forgot the word "care" from my first post

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I did wonder if you had posted in the wrong place.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:38, Reply)

I mentally inserted it before I replied

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Ok then, you two don't care who I fancy.
*is distraught*
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Does "someone else" mean "nearly every girl on here"
and "someone" translate to "Ed"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:29, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

At this point I would normally leap board my jet and vanish in a cloud of smoke, but I find myself somewhat incarcerated at the moment so instead I'm going to have to go back to sucking off Big Graham so he doesn't rape me in the showers later.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

doesn't lasts longer when I get him to
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:56, Reply)

A certain bank...
...with a name of a London Premiership Football team (and sounds rather like Smellsea) has assured all it's employees that the recent merger would not lead to staff being laid off.

Not sure why they are planning on offloading the properties said employees work in but I am sure they have a very good reason and can be trusted to be truthful.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Well they didn't do a very good job of briefing their staff
as just yesterday on PM some chief executive blokey said that there would be job cuts.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:31, Reply)

Well...
...that was shit gossip then.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Well, I haven't spoken to her directly, but...
I have heard (from Ruth, you know, the one in marketing who everyone thinks has a cock) that Sandra was going to give Dave a proper bollocking because she's heard that he's been flirting with Julie, even though he's supposed to be going out with her, but it's not that serious, so Dave doesn't see what the big deal is, but if she does kick off, he's totally prepared because he has the photos from the last office party where she flashed her knickers at Tom, who she really fancies, but 'cause he's already going out with Steph, you know the new girl on reception with the lazy eye and the buck teeth (apparently he nearly got his banjo string caught in the gap between them), and so the only reason Sandra's even going out with Dave is 'cause he's, like, Tom's mate and they go off caravanning together and they're so blatantly having bumsex together, but what she doesn't know is that Tom's actually about ten years older than he looks but he just hangs around with all the others 'cause he's trying to piece his life back together after his wife left him when she caught him having anal sex with a cow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:39, Reply)

OMG NFW
!!!!!!!!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Way!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Dooooooooooode

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Shut up!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Like
Totally
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Now you have me thinking of Sir Mix-a-Lot...
Becky, look at her butt. Its so big. She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends.

Who understands those rap guys.

They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I LIKE BIG BUTTS!
and I cannot lie
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Careful...
we don't need a repeat of 'boobgate'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

I'm surprised no-one has tried to get me naughty stepped before
It's not for want of trying.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I'm tiiiiiiired
And I have to go and work on the enquiry desk
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:53, Reply)

You LOVE a nice enquiry
you dirty slag.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:54, Reply)

You're like that slimey git who pretended to have an enquiry
But tried to chat me up. He THOUGHT I loved his enquiries.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I'm nothing like him
I really care about your feelings and I definitely won't leave before breakfast.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Do you like kittens and tofu?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)

If prepared correctly
A kitten and tofu stir-fry can delight the palate.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

You proper bastard

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Why thankyou
*accepts award*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Boo-hiss to the enquiry desk
Could you make a fort out of books and pretend you're a dragon living in a cave?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:55, Reply)

And...
...only answer in Esperanto.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:57, Reply)

That too!
Don't forget to take off your shoes as well and say 'wibble' a lot!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Keep shoes on!
Health and Safety.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)

I only answer in scouse
That'll learn 'em!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Or put a broom across your lap and pretend you're a man in a boat.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:59, Reply)

...or a broken down witch.
(Not meant as an insult.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Do you actually mean a man in a boat
Or a clitoris?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Your clitoris...
...has a broom attachment?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Wore like windscreen wipers

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

For wet conditions?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

*bawks*
I wish I'd never started this
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Excellent..
My work here is done.

*swishes cape/knocks over vase*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

The latter I'm afraid.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Fortunately i don't have to go on the Enquiry de4sk any more
They just rang.
So I won't be pretending to be a rower or a clitoris.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

See the difference between your reply and that Al's???
I do spin round repeatedly on the spinny chair. I once got told off for singing Wuthering Heights. I'm so proud of that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)

You were too busy agreeing with mine to write any responce

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:03, Reply)

you're a resPONCE

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Hehehe
groovy!

I too enjoy a good spin on a chair. We did have a race around the office once for a bit of Friday Fun which is an official work thing... I was in charge of health and safety for that race... which basically meant I moved one of the fire extinguishers out of the way! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Wow
You should be health & safety officer of the world...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Thanks
maybe I will... maybe I will
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I have an inquiry.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Yeeeesssss..?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Who do you fancy?

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Want a list!?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Condensed please or top three.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Hmmm
Talent's thin ont' ground at the mo.
Joseph Gordon Levitt's often in my thoughts. I thought I liked that Robert Pattinson but I really don't. He has the eyes of a burns victim.
EDIT: Who you lusting after anyway old bean?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I meant B3tans. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Dont beat around the bush
You just wanna know if your feelings are reciprocated don't you?
Course they are!
*honk honk*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Haha!
I never doubted it with you.

There are others on here that I'm not so sure off.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I think every b3tan fancies you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Apart from pyschochomp.
He seems impervious to my awesomeness.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

He's a gay and a girl
You don't wanna go there again
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Joseph Gordon Levitt
is usually in my thoughts too - fnar!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

it's me

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

That's understandable.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Of course it is!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I assume everyone who's ever sent me a gaz fancies me.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I hope I've never gazzed you
You're like a gay best friend y'see
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:10, Reply)

You can fancy gay best friends I assume.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Actually, you can fancy anyone you want,
I'm not some sort of facist.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Is that like being racist, but where you judge people's faces?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

For an example,
see how cancer joy has taken against my lovely portait of Al.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

pfft

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I fancied my gay best friend
then I went out with her for a year.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Me too : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Oh my god, it's you isn't it!
*I know it's not, she had giant teeth and a violent streak
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Mine had huge thighs and couldn't decide if she wanted me or not.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

Mine wanted me so much she used to sneak in and have a cuppa with my mum
for ages after we finished. Until my dad told her to fuck off out of his house. Go Dad!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

HOLY SHIT!
Did she have breasts???
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Totally
Teenage ones
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

*Phwooaaar*
Etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

See how you say 'phwoar' on the naughty step
MODGAZZER, where are you???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Under my patio...
Bwa-ha-ha.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Proper bastard...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:42, Reply)

I prefer 'cad'.
Or bounder.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Those are excellent words
Especially if you have a handlebar moustache.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Quite.
I'll stick to the goatee though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

oh man, I totally fancied my gay best friend too
but he was a guy
so it didn't quite work out that well
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

I went through that for about a week when I was 15.
All my mates were going "He's fucking gay!!" and I couldn't see it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

ugh, he had a boyfriend, but one day he kissed me and I was like woah

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

I totally sent you a gaz once

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

*smugs*

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Have I ever gazzed you?
I can't remember?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Yep,
conclusive proof.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Ahhh
Was it to confess my undying love for you?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

No it was me giving you my number to give to your mate.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Oh yeah
I forgot about that! I have a bad brain.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

that'll be your crack habit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Probably
I love crackers, especially Krackawheat! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

I'm quite happy not to have any gossip. It means no drama. And that makes me very very happy.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:06, Reply)

No more drama in your life.
*Mary J Bliges*

I'm listening to Journey.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)

fuck yeah man
okay, well, the last piece of gossip I got was this girl I know left her boyfriend who basically treated her like a housewife. She moved her two kids off the mountain and they stayed with her mother because she was trying to get with this guy I was kind of seeing. So I was like wtfe to them both, and then the last I heard about five days after moving out of her boyfriend's house she moved back in. So HA.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

That's what I was thinking too
but wasn't sure how she spelt 'Bliges' and I couldn't be arsed to check so left it...
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Just a small time girl, ^{livingin a loanly worldtook the midnight train going a-ney-where.}
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

now I'm going to have to listen to this
HELLOGONZYOURELOOKINGQUITELOVELYTODAY,NEWHAIRDO?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I'm not to good over these last two weeks, to be honest.
My hair is so bad that I'm embarased to take it to the hair-cutters =(

I seriously need to Sort It Out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Ask them for an estimate first

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

aw *hugz*
can you not cut it yourself? maybe trim it a bit to get rid of the wild parts then take it in to get it fixed?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

I tried to use that song to cheer up my hairdresser's daughter the other day
And I really meant it.
They all laughed at me. So I guess it worked.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I love that song
I got a bit cross when everyone else realised how frickin amazing it was and started listening to it as I liked it being my little secret, well, me and the millions of others who bought Escape.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I hadn't listened to it for yeeeears
And then about 5/6 years ago I was having a proper bad break-up and thought I was going to lose my flat and EVERYTHING maaan, and I had some random streaming soft-rock radio thing on. This came on and I actually properly felt lovely and hopeful.
Then I told one of my mates and she told me to stop taking Prozac because I was scaring her!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Scrubs Soundtrack, innit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I was totally into it before that
I got Journeys Greatest Hits after hearing "Any Way You Want It" at the end of a simpsons episode.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Superbowl eppisode?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Coincidence
That 'Blige' is an anagram of 'Bilge'?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I thought exactly that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

As did I

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I used to call her Bilge to a girl in school who saw her as her inspiration
She told me that one day I'd realise what Mary J meant.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Was that before or after you had sex with her?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Hahha it was NOT her
me and the Girl bonded over kd lang
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:43, Reply)

OMG! I so fancy KD Lang.
Seen her live and everything.

*sings*

Constant craaaaving.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Did she have any other good songs?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Lots
There was that one she did, and that other one she did, and a few on the album.

The free flexi disc you got when you bought an ice cream was the best one though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:48, Reply)

She could sing a shopping list and make it sound like sex.

( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I preferred her country stuff
before Constant Craving. That was boss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

She did a cover version of a Cole Porter song.
I can't remember what it is but it used to make my legs go funny when I heard it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I've got it
It was on the Red Hot & Blue album.
Called So In Love. Fucking sexy and heartbreaking. Go and youtube it beeetch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Your a star.
I can't youtube at work so it will have to wait till I get home.
( girlinthehole, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Drag...
...is fantastic - an album dedicated to fags.*

Her version of 'The Air that I Breathe' is beautiful.

*Cigarettes that is - not lezzers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:29, Reply)

other
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:56, Reply)

I will mess you UP, bitch!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:57, Reply)

I'm seeing this in my head as you being super angry and crying, beating hard on my shoulders, wailing
Until I grab your arms to keep you from hitting me, I pull you hard against my pert youthful breasts, wrapping my arms around you.
You continue to struggle until you realise that I'm not going anywhere. You pause and look up at me, then ravage my mouth with your tender lips.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:03, Reply)

this is coming off more creepy than funny :/

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Oh my god that is so creepy and funny
*runs*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:14, Reply)

more creepy than funny
*chases you*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:22, Reply)

Do go on
The creepiness is really working for me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Me too
Me and my Dad still like to listen to Miss Chatelaine on car journeys.
I think she's a bit of a nutter but at the time she could do no wrong. And her voice is supa.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Did you not get the memo?
Opinions on music are no longer permissable on here.

Descriptions of cycling facilities in dull-as-ditchwater provincial backwaters only, please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Can I talk about hops?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:21, Reply)

As long as you don't also talk about hips

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:25, Reply)

My annoying coworker
Insisted on telling me she was getting a divorce earlier this week despite my clear lack of interest. She's also dressing fancier. /worries
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Stop that bragging
Mista luvva luvva
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

pull-uvver

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Christmas party will be fun...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Yikes
Now that I think about it she talked me into signing up for it. BEFORE telling me about the divorce.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

She's just a devil woman
With eevil on her mi-ind
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)

misletoe attached to your belt

you might as well get something out of it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Like a nasty rash.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 15:31, Reply)