ISP moan

Two years ago I've moved house and wanted to take my Pipex broadband with me, unfortunately they had been bought by Tiscali, the worst company for customer service in the world.

Long story short they were completely incapabale of moving my address so, I cancelled the contract on their recommendatio and took up a new one with Tiscali thus avoiding breach of contract charges.

2 years later I have a debt collection agency chasing me for outstanding payments to Pipex, what a bunch of utter gibbons clunges.

What's your worst experience of customer service?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:16, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just parted company with Tiscali who were bought by Talk Talk.
Their customer service is abominable. I've stopped my direct debit so they should be after me soon for the last payment, which is when I shall give them all guns blazing about how crap I've been treated.
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

SKY
3 months of trouble trying to cancel. They did it all, rude call centre staff, billing me for stuff I hadn't done, admin charges, more bills.

In the end I cancelled my direct debit and wrote a concise letter of complaint, I actually got a refund. I will never deal with SKY again.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I'm going to twist your question
and tell you that my experiences with NTL, Telewest and Virgin have been nothing short of superb.

The best thing is that there is some kind of action group in my area about how shit virgin broadband is, and yet mine is unbelievably fast.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

The gym
I missed a payment due to being a fool, and was charged £20 by the gym, and £15 by the bank. Mostly annoyed because I missed it by 13p, but due to VISA payments, it looked like I had it in my account, when I didn't.

I got a letter off their solicitors demanding payment, and that they would attempt to take it again on the 12th (or something). I then thought I'd be better off cancelling the direct debit, and setting it up for the 12th. I did this, and then got another letter off the solicitors, saying I'd incurred a £25 fine for cancelling my direct debit, even though it had been set up again. (Granted, not a very clever idea for me.)

After several threatening letters, to which I attempted to call them multiple times, every time it was 'Leave a message and we'll get back to you'. In the end, I just told them I wanted to buy out the rest of my contract, as it was clear they had no interest in accepting payment, just levying charges.

They sold my debt to a debt management company, and they've been absolutely brilliant. I've spoken to them 3 or 4 times, and every time they've been helpful, honest, and friendly. One end of the scale to the other really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Indeshit aren't doing very well for me at the moment.
Pipex have completely fucked up our fax line here at work - and are denying there's a problem, despite the fact that when you try to send a fax, a voice message about how their service has been temporarily suspended is played. They are utter simpletons and the barely-coherent dimwit in Bangalore I had to speak to was no help whatsoever.

They're all cunts. All of them, everywhere.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Fax...
How quaint
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I work in the 18th Century.
It rather suits me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I can imagine;
faxing serf tenancy agreements and decrees regarding the grazing of oxon on the village common.

A pox on you Pipex, a pox!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

The county of Oxfordshire will not fit on the village common.
Not with all the oxen already on there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Ye smartarse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I couldn't resist it, sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)

It's your lack of resistance that is saving the English language

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Hehe, whilst the French have an entire government body set up to protect their language
All we have is the shady vigilante mob, known in common parlance as the League of B3tan Pedants.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

this reminds me of my FAVOURITE JOKE EVER:
Q: Who started the Pedants' Revolt?


A: 'Which Tyler'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

that's seriously your favourite ever joke?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Yes.
It has history and grammar punnage: what's not to like?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

it's not taking the piss out of anyone
it's not crude
and it doesn't have a silly voice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

But its smartarse levels are so incredibly high
as to negate these other shortcomings, to my mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

it's no "what's the fastest thing on land?" though
the answer being "Stevie Wonder's speedboat"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

That's a bit 'meh'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

how about that sherlock holmes one?
you must like that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Not sure I know it.
Do go on....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Dr Watson arrives at the door of 221b Baker Street
let's himself in and proceeds to the drawing room. On entering he sees Sherlock Holmes with a young boy. The boy is naked, bent over and Holmes is smearing lemon curd around his arsehole.

Watson cries "Holmes, what the dickens are you doing?"
to which Holmes replies "Lemon entry my dear Watson"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I'm going to have to deal with this shit next week.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Good luck
I'd offer advice but I obviously failed miserably. When I moved everyone; gas, electric Tv licensing etc were all absolutely fine just Tiscali being utter cretins
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

BT
Cut me off for non payment. Phoned them and said I pay by direct debit and its come out and asked what they were playing at. They appologised and said it would be back up in 24 hours. Two days later the phone is working but the internet is still down. I call them and they say that the connection is fine and it mist be my equipment. I inform them that I have 7 computers that all worked fine before I was cut off and now none of them work. They refused to help until they had gone through their script of things to try (that I had already tried being an IT tech myself) I was put from person to person with me saying each time "You cut me off, the problem is your end, please just fix it" After the third day with me calling them everyday and them not calling back ect I said the magic words "I am paying for a service I am not receiving and never will receive as long as you continue to deny the problem is at your end. If my connection is not back up in 24 hours I will be leaving BT and presume as you have ended my service you have chosen to end my contract with you."

It came back all by itself half an hour later. Magic all 7 of my computers must have fixed themselves.
( Peej, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)

7 computers?
That is a lot of porn for one man, remember with great porn comes great responsibilty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Porn in every room.

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I have more now
Only my wife's has porn on it though. I'm more of a watch once then delete viewer. I have A file server, 4 laptops, a computer attached to each TV, a touch screen thing I built that like the iPad but way better and cheaper and my office PC that I actually play games on. So that makes ten now. I'm building another for my dear wifes car at the moment.
( Peej, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

that must be the answer
god knows BT didn't do it, that's for sure
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Also, to turn it on it's head again
Be There are absolutely brilliant.

They phoned me one day, apologised because I say I only want contact in an emergency, to let me know that the internet would be down for a day, due to maintenance.

The guy actually said "We did send you an email, but thought it pretty pointless if you can't access the actual internet", which I thought was brilliant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

'Be There ' is a gay name, though.
Sounds like a Keane song.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

I don't mind
For £22 a month I get unlimited downloads, no spam letters or email from them, and a 14mb line.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

£22/month is a bit steep

Does that include line rental or do you have to pay BT as well?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Line rental is seperate
But they were the cheapest, and the only ones to offer unlimited internet without spying on us.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Are you planning to overthrow the government?
Or just going to watch kiddie porn?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I mean Virgin have sent people letters, warning them about downloading
Be haven't paid any attention to what we're doing at all.

psst, second one
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Fucking hell!
They actually phoned you to let you know what was happening.

*faints*
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Agreed
Be There are all of the excellent!
(bill, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I need a phone provider too though.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I've seperately got
the cheapest line BT will sell as I only use it as a broadband carrier and don't make any calls on it.
(bill, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I offered a lady In a haberdashery store money to service me.
She called security with gay abandon and a trill in her voice. I only wanted to purchase a smashing blouse.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

There is only one smashing Blouse......and that is me.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Sorry, but I believe this anecdote to be a 'Jimmy Hill'.
How are you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

FINE. It was a amashing set of lingerie and I wanted her to model it for me in my honda accord.
Tired and late for college. How're you?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I'm late, I think I might be up the duff
and they told me that couldn't happen through bumming
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Not so bad, not so bad.
I'm going for another of those excellent pizzas later with one of my oldest mates. This is A Good Thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Excellent pizza is hard to find

I love a nice egg on my pizza
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

These chaps
serve the best pizza I have ever eaten outside of Italy: and I can get there from my home on foot in about 3 minutes.

Victory is mine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Do they deliver?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:37, Reply)

No but you can collect and take away
Actually because they are so thin, they don't travel well, even over the tiny distance to my house. It's best just to eat in: they also do the finest pint of lager I have ever had in London, ice cold Peroni out of scrupulously clean pipes: it's fucking magnificent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

yes
I'm partial to the liver pizza
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

a) excellent work
b) the thought of a liver pizza has made me feel rather ill, and I love liver.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I haven't eaten liver in a long long time
aside from paté

and foie gras

both of which I love
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Ever made your own chicken liver pate?
It's easy and very, very delicious.

By the way BGB made a chilli the other day and did the treacle addition thing, and was mightily impressed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I had a chilli with it the other day
but I was busy at the appropriate moment so the mrs put it in, and I don't think put in enough

my mother and I bought half a pig a little while back, and she made paté with the appropriate parts. and port. it was fucking amazing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

KFB in St Andrews
used to do haggis pizza and chocolate pizza. Always went for the more conventional peperoni and salami myself, I miss that place.
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I've had chocolate pizza.
Our local posh italian used to do that and ice cream spaghetti.
I dunno if they still do. I didn't like that crazy shit.
Their pizza oven is a big giant scary Boca della Verita.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I'm going to bodeans later, this is WIN

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

*jealouses*

(bill, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:34, Reply)

was it all polka dotted?

( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

awww
is no-one interested in Becky's pants other than me?
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

old news

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I think it's due for a nostalgic
return to fashion
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You're both wrong.
Becky's grunders never went out of fashion.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:13, Reply)

We've just changed from Pipex to Talk Talk
on the basis that it's about a tenner a month cheaper than the package we had with Pipex, which was 30 quid a month. But Talk Talk is Pipex's parent company, so we "wouldn't have to pay the one-off connection fee". Nice one squire.

However, checking bank details last night revealed a direct debit for Talk Talk at the princely sum of £58. I found the recently arrived and as yet unopened bill, and lo - a one off connection fee of £29.99 has been applied to the account. It will only take a phone call to sort it out, but it's 20 minutes of being on hold wasted where something more productive could be done, like having a wank or a cup of coffee.

Halifax charging £1 a day for every day you're overdrawn was another unwelcome surprise. Thanks Howard, you utter cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Ha ha ha ha h ah ah ha ha ha h ah ah ha aha ha
1 phone call!
hah ha ha h ah aha hahahahahahahahahahahaa *breathes*
20 minutes ha ha ha ha h ahahahahahahahaha
*chokes*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:19, Reply)

^this.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

^This
so much ^this
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I say 20 minutes...
It's a rough estimate as the call has yet to be made. It may take several calls, routed to the other end of the world and bounced via a satellite orbiting Mars.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

i once came home to no electricity - so no heat, light or ability to cook

I phone N-power, 40mins of hold music later and I fucked off to the pub, cancelled them as soon as possible after that.

I enjoy telling those people who sell N-Power in the street this story very loudly in front of potential customers.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:37, Reply)

We came home once to find no electric and we didn't have gas so no heat light food ect.
With a newborn baby. We phoned and were told "some point in the next 24 hours" We asked if they could be more specific and they said no. I said "so you could turn up at 3 in the morning?" "yes" she replied. I told them we had a newborn and she said yes that's why you get within 24 hours others have to wait longer. I sent My wife and newborn daughter to her mothers and stayed in the house with no heat and no light in the winter. They took 2 days to get there. When the engineer arrived he was so disgusted at how long it took them to arrange a call out for us he used his portable key meter thing to put £50 on our key. Turns out he lived at the other end of the street and was on call, they could have had him there in 5 minutes. Never ever use EDF they're cunts
( Peej, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Talk talk did this to me
Not put on hold, Call lasted about 3 minutes, Account credited with £29.99. Easy Peasy.
( Peej, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

linky
www.ispreview.co.uk/

Go for a small ISP. They live and die by their customer service and connectivity.
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:29, Reply)

*saved*
This is very useful. Thanks.
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Hurrah!
I'm useful.
\retires
( djtrialprice, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Merci bucket

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Southwark Council
I kindly offered to sort out the council tax for everyone when I moved into my new flat in London. That was last June. Currently at stage 4 of the complaints process to due the sheer incompetency of their team.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 10:38, Reply)