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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've always wanted to know what would happen if someone shot a load up your nose

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:14, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I think it would make your eyes water.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:18, Reply)
'Dicks Sinex Nasal Spray.'

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Tell you what
If you were to sneeze afterwards it'd be a hell of a mess!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)
it's a handy sperm receptacle
if it weren't for that little draw back
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)
There are logistical issues though
I'm not boasting here, but I'd struggle to get my cock into anyone's nostril. It would need a good aim, which is difficult at the moment of ejaculation.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)
you'd not need the whole thing in there!
unless you've got a headless cock that spews sperm forth like a fire hose
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:26, Reply)
No, it has the requisite jizzle
But it's a bit difficult to be precise with the aim when convulsing orgasmically.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:27, Reply)
I've only been with one guy that convulsed when he orgasmed
he was a fah-reak, so now I'm assuming you are too
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)
I thought it was quite normal
We're not talking epileptic fit here, just a bit of spasmodic jerking (snigger).
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:30, Reply)
haha I get what you mean, still, he's the only one

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:31, Reply)
but it's so uncomfortable when you accidentally get water up your nose when you're swimming,
it would be like that, only gooier and burnier
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)
hahaha isn't it funny? if I had a cock I'd be jizzing up bitches noses all the bloody time

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:32, Reply)
You might not be too popular
And perhaps have to sign a register every day...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
I've had Aftershock up my nose
that was awful

I imagine jizz would be worse
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Absinthe up the nose is a fucking stupid idea
Learn from my mistake.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Salty :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)
probably
I'm wondering if it'll burn
probably make you sneeze
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)
It would be deeply unpleasant
I seem to be the only one in our Dark Trinity who's not had spunk in their eye.

I'm CLEAN, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:33, Reply)
having someone jizz all over your face with your eyes closed does NOT make you clean, silly Lampito
when will you learn?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:38, Reply)
I've just found you on facebook
I'm going to add you as a friend so I can invite you to all the cool parties I have.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:40, Reply)
that I can't come to?!
You're HORRIBLE to me!
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)
I've never let anyone jizz on my face
trufax
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Yet

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Can't imagine it'll be very nice

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:43, Reply)
But you don't know until you've tried it
I never thought I'd enjoy eating tomatoes when I was younger. But I love them now.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Do you like eating cock now too?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
I don't know, I've never tried it
But I'd imagine it would be quite nice, if I were that way inclined.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)
It's incredibly fun. I recommend it.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)
I'll stick to pussy for now
But if I ever change my mind, I'll bear your advice in mind.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)
Ewwww sperm

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:44, Reply)
Just wait until my drinkies
You'll look like a plasterers radio.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:45, Reply)
Who's going to be doing the honours?
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Geoff Capes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)
everyone
even me, and I'm not going to be there.

Al asked me to post him a bucketful sample
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
you wanker

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
technically no
I have a milking machine

it's the only way to meet Al's demands for jizz-by-post
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I thought it was just me he tapped up for spunk-parcels
I feel used now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
he likes to create his own blends

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
cock-tails

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
I'd like to change my answer to
"Suck it up!"
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Just wait till someone surprises you with it
That is well_fucking_fun
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:49, Reply)
I agree,
but I've got a totally different perspective.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Oh fuck off Chompy, don't pretend that you've had sex
it's just sad
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Totally have, I went well deep, put the balls in and everything.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)
urgh I really don't want that image in my head

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Too late
it's like stuffing raw sausages into a kebab.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)
You're vile.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:56, Reply)
:D

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
'I got kidnapped by these guys talking about going balls deep. Sounds fun, right? Not always'

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:00, Reply)
My ex wanted to
but he never got round to it. Plus I'd imagine you'd have to do it in the bathroom to clean up properly.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Or perhaps
use some sort of groundsheet on the carpet.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Best thing to do is to coat your bed with clingfilm
this also prevents stains from farting.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I find that brown sheets
do the job on the flatulence front.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I've had sex in my bed at uni PRECISELY ONCE
sad fucking face.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I only just had sex for the first time in my own bed the other night.
I feel dirty sleeping in it now.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Oh man you had sex!
Was it fun?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)
I'd been with the guy before, I don't think it should count
It was, but that bed....that's my childhood bed. I've had it since I was 15.
I need a new bed now.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)
I've never had sex in my bed at home
had it once in the spare bed, as it's a double.

That was a good night :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)
I've only rarely had sex somewhere that wasn't my bed
or at least a bed that I was sleeping in
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
I lost my viriginity in a hotel bed :/

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
classy bird
was it a pay by the hour hotel?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
It was to someone I loved
No, he came up to see me and a gig.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
aww
I feel bad for cheapening it now, sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)
No problem
I find it amusing as to where it was- quite often our liaisons would be in hotels and stuff like that due to parents not knowing about him and living at opposite ends of the country.

He might be coming to uni in London next year. Keeping my fingers crossed. I enjoy his company greatly.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)
It was out back, they'd thrown the bed out.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
think I lost mine in someone else's single bed
not sure why considering my house with my king size bed was just up the road.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
I can go worse
I lost mine in a B&B in Bradford.
Topical.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
I lost my virginity in a pick up truck
I even have a souvenir, the sticker he had to put on his truck from the NASCAR race the weekend before got stuck to my foot as I got out, all deflowered and shit.
Welllll classy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:09, Reply)
That's incredible
Best virginity story EVER
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
I bled when I lost my V
The lass failed to inform me she likes it rough. I'm busy trying to make sure everything's going alright (1st time worries), and she throws me by asking me to slap her in the face.
I oblige (cos i'm scared she'll devour me otherwise), but obviously not hard enough. She shouts at me to hit her harder, so I slap her again, and she squeals in delight and rides me ragged, scratching the fuck out of my back in the process.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
o_O
I have not been injured in sex. Apart from coming home with a massive lovebite, my mum mistaking it for hair dye on my neck, and trying to rub it off :/

I've had lovebitten earlobes too. Now THOSE were fun to get :D
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:19, Reply)
Never had a lovebite
Vehemently don't want one.
The other sex injury I've had was getting all entangled with one lady, then when she came she shuddered and locked up, and had me practically in a Figure Four Leg-lock, which hyperextended my knee and fucking CANED. No O for Lab that time.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
more in common
lovebites are vile, and I'm glad I've never had or given one.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)
living in the white trash capitol of virginia, they're quite popular here
and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't gotten or given my fair share
however I now find that I hate them and whereas I like being bitten I hate people knowing about it
it's like they're judging you with their eyes
all "look at that SLUT!"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Or just do it in the shower until you get used to it.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 28 May 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Best put some newspaper down first.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
I've only agreed to it a couple of times
and both times I've started laughing immediately. I was worried I'd ruined the mood but he says he doesn't care by that point.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I bumped into one of my flatmates while having a fag
she looked at me, laughed and said "I didn't know hair could go that colour!"

Success?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
definitely
you've invented a new colour :D
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:05, Reply)
Bright orange.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
errrr...
I've had my hair orange before now, don't worry! Although it was part of a rainbow.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
I'm quite enjoying it. My eyebrows are still quite dark thoguh

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I can understand that
Once you've reached the tickly bit it doesn't really matter where the jizz goes!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:03, Reply)
fortunately my mrs laughed when I got her on the ear
it was her own fault, she turned her head at the wrong moment
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:04, Reply)
I once tried to trick Wiggy into jizzing all over his own belly
but he guessed what I was going to do and got me in the side of the neck. It went in my hair and everything :(
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:06, Reply)
you two are excellent
I'd be annoyed if my mrs did that. I'm quite hairy, and it'd be a bugger to clean up
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
yeah, showers are such a pain.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
more of a pain then not having one
when the only reason you need one is an avoidable jizz-covering
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Yeah, but don't you shower after sex?!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I find it's better to shower before sex
Then I can do a proper gentleman's wash
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
not always and not immediately
also, being in a stable loving relationship I don't feel dirty after sex, so don't feel the need that some of you might.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
^^ this
Have sex last thing at night, fall asleep together, have shower when you wake up.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)
yeah
I always shower first thing anyway otherwise I don't wake up
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:14, Reply)
I tend to wake up first
It makes getting to the bathroom easier.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
doesn't work for me
I've had to train myself to sleepwalk to the shower

I do occasionally wake up standing in a wardrobe, 2 hours late for work...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)
I'm a morning person
But my other half is the opposite. I can wake up before the alarm, and be out of bed within seconds, but she takes about an hour.

But at the close of day, I'm falling asleep during the 10 o'clock news while she's still wide awake for hours.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)
sounds like our positions are reversed
my mrs is like you, and I'm like your mrs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:23, Reply)

'm
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:24, Reply)
The two of you should clearly have sex

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
WIFESWAP!

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:25, Reply)
Same same
A shower is an essential part of my morning routine.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)
Yeah I can't be arsed showering afterwards
it would usually mean having to go to bed with wet hair.

And I might catch a cold, eh Al, eh?! *elbows again*
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)
Yeah, but if you get hot and sweaty and stuff like that...
I hate falling asleep when I'm like that.

Not that I sleep with people after I've shagged them :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:15, Reply)
You would if you were a bloke
It goes something like:

Ejaculate
Pull out
Turn over
Fart
Fall asleep

Within about 3 minutes. Unless I make a concerted effort to stay awake.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:18, Reply)
You forgot
"Maintain a low level of unconscious flatulence throughout the night, which you'll be told off for the following morning."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Very true
I sleepfart quite well, apparently. One of my mates first told me that when we shared a room in a youth hostel.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
And this ^
It's all hormones and chemicals innit, makes us menfolk very sleepy after blastoff. Please keep that in mind when you suddenly want to talk about what Deborah said to you at work today.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:20, Reply)
I don't suffer from that
I don't sleep well, so even sex doesn't make me sleepy
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
that's why you need a post-coital smoke
to all you to cool off.

also, I've got a water meter, if I had a shower after every time I had sex I'd be broke. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

*looks around for someone to high five*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Shut up and eat your croissant, there's a good boy

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:22, Reply)
I've not slept with a smoker
but I imagine post shag fags would be great
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
they really are
even better is lying back with your shaggee and sparking a joint in bed.

bliss. no smoking in my house though :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
The person I'd most likely sleep with next if all goes well
doesn't think smoking suits me.

Then again, he's known me since I was 14 and innocent.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
pfft
smoking suits everyone, as long as they look like they are comfortable holding a cigarette.

also, it makes you look cool
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)
Lots of people have said they don't like to see me smoke
As in, at least 10.

I still do.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
why have they said that?
and did you tell them to find their damn business?

I've been told that smoking suits me. not that I really smoke cigarettes any more...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
I laughed and took another drag

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
good girl :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
But kissing a lass who's just smoked
Is fucking GRIM.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
never found that
even before I smoked
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)
It tasted how I imagine licking an ashtray would tase like.
Plus she was a bit of a minger, I was young and hadn't formed much in the way of standards by then.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
Not always

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
He usually has to pay first.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
*identifies with Vipros's issue*

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
he has got a bit of a hairy belly so it would have been messy
but as it stood I was the one trying to detangle it out of my hair. It took a couple of shampoos to get it right again, jizz has the strangest qualities.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:16, Reply)
sounds like you deserved it though

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:17, Reply)
It was only revenge for when he jizzed on my belly
and then smushed it all around like a kid in paint.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:27, Reply)
I love doing that!
From a scientific point of view, of course. The rheological properties of jizz are quite interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:28, Reply)
I don't understand how water makes it stickier
and harder to get off. WHAT THE HELL?!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
You have to emulsify it with soap to wash it off
It's designed to be sticky, so it hangs around inside your fanny long enough to let the tadpoles swim for the winning post.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)
I find even washing with soap leaves a slight film of it on the skin
I've been advised the best way is to tissue off the bulk of it (apologies for using the word bulk there) and then wash the skin with soap and a bath puff thing or sponge.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:35, Reply)
I find tears are the best for washing off semen
Especially the chunky, chewy bits.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)
oh ew Lab, just ew.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Thought that might get that response

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)
Perhaps your bloke produces particularly tenacious jizz!

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
yeah it's like go web go shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
I'm totally going to Zorro my mrs

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:29, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
Nowt wrong with it going on the belly
Most of the women I've been with have been of the "in me, not on me" mood.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
I find that the most successful face/tit jizzings
are conducted when you've not had any for a while. If you can build up a week or two's worth, you get the full effect. Cleans out the sediment in the tank, as it were.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:07, Reply)
When it resembles watery milk
Rather than toothpaste.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Toothpaste?
My jizz is not abrasive, nor does it have red and blue stripes.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:10, Reply)
you should get that checked out by a healthcare professional

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I have to wring mine out by curling the end in

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
Just so long as you don't squeeze it in the middle

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:12, Reply)
No, I'm no heathen!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:13, Reply)
that would be awesome
if it was toothpaste
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
I think the world, at large, would be at peace if this were so

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
I would love it if it tasted of whatever he had drunk
I'd have him on pineapple smoothies every day.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Or bacon butties?

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
If it worked the other way too
I'd make my lady drink orange and banana smoothies.

Vipros would probably forcefeed his good lady Fois Gras and Bollinger.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)
too fucking right
not bollinger though. 42 below or something
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
I was struggling to think of posh drink

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I appreciate the sentiment
I'm not posh though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
No, you're like me
Only Southern, Stoner and Surfer.
And engaged too.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)
this is all true
my mate took some photos when we went surfing last weekend. I'm standing on the beach in my wetsuit in one looking like I'm having a spack attack of some kind...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)
Might be an urban myth
But I thought pineapple made it taste sweeter?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
Not according to my girlfriend
We tried it and it made no difference.

We may need to repeat the experiment more often though, to get a statistically significant result. All in the name of science, you understand.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I was going to say, a sample of '2' would get laughed out of all the good journals

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
and yet it is used in all makeup adverts

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)
and eating asparagus makes your piss smell bad
So you could eat loads or pineapple and aspargus. As the first load goes on your good lady will well up at your lovely gesture. Then as you rinse it off she'll laugh at the subtlety of your cunning comedic ruse.
(I helped save b3ta! djtrialprice, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I've heard that too but it doesn't seem to make a difference I don't think
I did notice a difference when he quit smoking though, so that was pleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
A lady's only tasted mine once, so don't have a lot to go on.

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)
start storing your samples
and then get a lady to do a blind taste test
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
I have a lady, who doesn't wish to, and I respect that
But I might now throw some samples at blind people.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
it's an odd thing
I've never been with a lady who hasn't been keen to gobble it down, not that I mind either way.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 28 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)

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