b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 810509 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Ideally my working day would incorporate a siesta in the afternoon
What rituals from other cultures would you like to incorporate into your daily routine and why?


Alt Q: Worst thing about your day to day life?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:11, 216 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
That culture that says I don't have to work when I'm hungover like today.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Australian?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:27, Reply)
mate, the worse your hangover is, the higher you are judged.
or maybe that's just my redneck area....
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Starting that off with 'mate' made me laugh, very Ozzy

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)
I feel biting the head off a bat would be more "Ozzy"

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)
we don't eat Bats, we eat kangaroo, crocs and goanna mate.
and everything else.
Although of the three listed, I've only tried roo, and I couldn't eat it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)
I was going for a (particularly lame) pun on the fact he'd spelt "Aussie" as "Ozzy"
Making it appear as though he were actually talking about the former lead singer of Black Sabbath. In hindsight, probably not worth the effort of typing it...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)
*deflates*
oh.

I knew that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)
'salright
It was a pretty weak pun, even by my dismal standards.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
blame it on my current poorliness.
I no longer recognise puns. How shit of me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)
mooooooooooooooooooooooo

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
Drinking on a school-night?
it's bit of a rookie's mistake, old boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)
my office junior called in sick today
there are pictures of her partying last night all over her facebook. Makes me angry. When I was a youth I still came to work when I was hungover.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Damn right
I've never had a day off because I got wrecked the night before.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Me neither
this has meant I have thrown up in the toilets of pretty much every place I've ever worked
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Some people's hangovers are worse than others.
Maybe she's a vomiter.
How do you get to work vomiting along the street, and then what do you do when you get there? Sit with a bucket, 'working' and vomiting?
On her sickness absence record be it...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)
You Man the Fuck Up

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
^^This
I've vomited in work before, aye.

I once had to go home with a hangover, but that was insisted upon me, because I was so ill I couldn't do any work at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)
she goes out every Thursday and Sunday, it makes no sense to me.
I nearly vomited in the Piccadilly Gardens on a Sunday morning about 11am when it was full of happy families. Pure pride and willpower is the only thing that stopped me, I wouldn't have been able to handle the embarrassment. It was a pretty tense half hour though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)
less talk about sick kk

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Is it too terminal for the McHangover cure?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)
public puking in the daytime is the height of embarassment
especially when you're in the car with your boss on a two hour drive to Poole for a client meeting and you have to get him to pull over so you can bunder. That was a low point for me.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)
I was once in that situation
But I managed to hold my puke until I got home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)
My boss thought it was funny at first but after the third time
he gave me a bloody good talking too!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I was born in Poole
Kitty O'Hara TRUFACT #104
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
congratulations on your achievement.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)
well it was more my mum's achievement than mine.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)
I meant getting out!
edit - Of Poole, that could have quickly degenerated into something quite unpleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
Not so much into my daily routine
But I wish more people would commit ritual suicide.
Oh, and honour duels as well, I want to bring them back!

Alt Q: Work. More specifically, pouring through thousands of nasty images or boring keyword hits.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Honour duels would be brilliant
Ritual suicide not so much. Messy business.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Yes! more duels please!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)
Worst thing
Is still waking up at 5.30 on a weekend even when there is no child to wake me up/work to go to. It's sad that 7.00 is a lie in.
I'd quite like to have the Chinese tea making rituals in daily life, though i'd like to avoid their work ethic.
(The Ginger Penguin la la la la la la, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)
like in Sherlock last night but with less killing

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)
pearoast
In the tropical forests of New Guinea, the Etoro believe
that for a boy to achieve manhood he must ingest the
semen of his elders. This is accomplished through ritualized
rites of passage that require young male initiates to
fellate a senior member (Herdt 1984/1993; Kelley 1980).
In contrast, the nearby Kaluli maintain that male initiation
is only properly done by ritually delivering the semen
through the initiate’s anus, not his mouth. The Etoro
revile these Kaluli practices, finding them disgusting.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:34, Reply)
I would slightly modify this
to involve 18 year old girls and me specifically.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
O.o

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)
*waves*

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 18:10, Reply)
there was obviously some massively gay elder back in the day
who managed to convince people this was a holy rite.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Clearly
And he wasn't good enough at chatting little boys up, he had to make it a ritual.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)
The Pope?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)
He hasn't made a ritual of it yet
But don't give him ideas.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Alt Q: Having to trawl through dull threads started by dull people

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:35, Reply)
If it's dull why read it?
Alt Q: Having to listen to tosspieces whinge for no reason
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Because I'm at work
What else am I going to do.

A small part of me realises you may be one of the few people left who thinks I am being serious...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:48, Reply)
I don't
but I'm equally as cranky today. And I was bored of the previous thread.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:49, Reply)
I reckon I am probably more cranky
as a woman I have an inbuilt capacity for ultrabitching
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

+ with a massive vag
ultrabitching docking small-to-medium naval vessels
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

so so mean
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Awwww

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
damn right
Did you hear schuey got a 10place grid penalty for the next race HA. I realy hope he ends up behind yamamoto.

Although I also hope they will bring Chandok back
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
I was quite amused.
Chandok had better reappear with a massive grin on his face or there will be trouble.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)
The culture where right now, simply because of my gender
I would be wearing gingham, making pies and cushions, and doing a bit of light dusting.
Instead of sat in this shit-hole bored out of my nut doing spreadsheets of shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Wait wait wait
What kind of pie?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Steak and ale with baby onions
And mustard mash on the side.
And lovely gravy.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Good lass
*fetches his slippers that have been warming by the fire*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)
indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)
There ought to be some sort of
"I wish I lived in the fifties" club
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)
there are clubs of that sort actually
I saw them on the tv once.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Frankly, I'd quite happily give up IT
for some sort of car work and spend my weekends under my Rover P4 in a pair of beige chinos and a tucked in polo shirt. I would rather miss the internet, but on the plus side, I wouldn't have to look at so many fatties and chavs.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)
Eggzackly
I'd even do voluntary work with the less fortunate. So society would get more out of me.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)
You two have gone mad!
without the internet people would go mad, masturbating to good housekeeping, speaking to people irl, the list is endless!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)
that all sounds cracker to me

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)
On the plus side
teenage rebellion would consist of buying a motorbike and drag racing, rather than wearing tight trousers and writing shitty poetry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)
skinny jeans = cunt

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
A lad my missus works with
Wears size 10 skinny jeans. Yes, GIRL jeans.

Shame, he's a nice guy apart from that.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
If your a man and you can put skinny jeans on comfortably you need to get to the gym or eat a cake
They are retarded. Nearly as bad as when they sold men pedal pushers and called them 3/4 lengths.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)
:(
Will a week go by when I don't have to defend skinny jeans on men?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)
What kind of skinny jeans look are you talking about
I don't mind a bit of tightness, but that 'skinny jeans look' is hideous. You know the one I mean. Do you mean that?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)
tight jeans look good on girls cause you curve nicely
men in tight jeans, possibly if you're a cowboy. Skinny jeans just make men look like sickly boys.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)
There are still some women that should never go within ten metres of tight jeans.
Or leggings with t-shirts. :/
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)
Not the ones that make their legs look skinnier than mine.
I saw one lad once that was literally the shape of a very thin triangle. His legs actually looked like pins.

But non-OTT tightness gets a two thumbs up.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)
they are too tight when the subjects cock and balls are squashed up into something
resembling a fleshy division sign.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)
fair dooz
You mean more a rock look than a trendy twat look?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)
Yeaaaah!
This.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)
Oh I'm with you then

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
I used to do
voluntary work with immigrants in Denmark. It is a lot less good than one would hope.
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Don't harsh my buzz, Johnny

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Sorry.
What charitable cause would you like to work with?
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)
it doesn't matter, because I won't be doing it
But I would generally just go round on a cart making the world a better place, then be home in time to make the tea
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)
You're back!
You've been out for a while. How are you? Was the wedding ok? Honeymoon?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Me?
Hello

Yes, wedding and honeymoon were both good, thank you.
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Good to hear that
How is live as a married man? Many changes? Has she started to put on weight and telling you off for being "out there, drinking with your mates" yet?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)
Married Life
Is wonderful, actually. We had known each other for years before so there is no surprise.
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
Firing dogs into the sun from an orbital platform.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

dogs cats
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I was thinking the same

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)
I'd like a siesta time myself as well
It'd be good to have this Spanish, French, Belgium... tradition of havin 45 days/year of holidays and around 15days of Bank Holidays, 6 days of "your own bussiness" free time, 37hwork/week... Live would be so much better!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Our country would never shift to that
But we would be just as productive because we'd be happier
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)
Plus, anytime
our Government did somethign we didn't like, we could block the Chunnel and riot. I'd be well up for that, but the majority of the country sees that kind of behaviour as suspiciously continental.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)
suspiciously continental?
phrase of the day, surely?
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Y'know
I was walking around Birmingham on Saturday, and was reminded by just how much I hate England. Far too many people, most of whom were obese (some grotesquely so), all barging into me and never once apologising.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)
Oh, this country's people have turned into
a total shower of bastards. I can't fucking stand crowds as a result of it. Everybody appears to have the "I'm alright, Jack" mentality now.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)
I blame Thatcher
We need a good cull.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)
What we need
are for people to stop "nurturing" their children and start walloping them again.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)
I found myself agreeing with Edwina Curry on this one yesterday
Well, not the walloping bit, but the laying down the law occasionally so that the real world isn't a hideous affront to their 'rights'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)
Completely agree too

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)
That's spot on
A major problem is people feel entitled to so much. They believe it's their right to be given x, or to do y. Violence is not the answer, Necessary Force is though ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
This.
My parents smacked me throughout my childhood, and there's nothing wrong with me.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)
Mine did too
Not that I enjoyed it, but somehow, I've got to appreciate it. There's nothing better than a good spanking sometimes ;-)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)
Ohhhhhh
Don't get me started, you're talking about something entirely different here ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)
Kinky bitches

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
No idea what you're on about 0 :-)

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)
Nice smiley!
And each to their own, whilst I'm not-into-that-sort-of-thing, I'm more than happy to accommodate if the woman requests such!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)
Then you are a fine man, a good man

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
But not always a gentle man ;)

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
And sometimes, Lab, that's what's needed
adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/coffee_2.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
I play to the mood
But am always happy to take requests!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
Spoken like a true DJ

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
*finger pistols*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
Mine rarely did
Because the threat of it was enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)
that explains your face.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
yeah
Whilst I suspect that my mum could have achieved the same results without losing control and giving me a right glauming, we'll never know, so I choose a bit of occasional fear over 'reasoning'. There's a time to debate and a time to know best.
And my parents weren't overly strict. They let me explore boundaries and be responsible. But if that didn;t work out there were consequences. I'd say I've turned out alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)
It was the following through on threats as well, Kids have to learn there are consequences to their actions.
If my mum threatened a punishment, like no tv for a week or whatever, she always carried it out, no matter how guilty she felt afterwards.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)
Exactly
Nowadays, people repeatedly threaten things and the kids know for a fact that, if anything, the actual punishment will only be a fraction of that.
Kids can be disciplined AND happy.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
If I had a pound for everytime I've heard a parent say
"Now this is your last warning, Mummy won't tell you again"
More than once in the space of two minutes, I'd have a very large pile of money.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)
My mum used to say
"I'll give you three. ONE... TWO..." and it was over and done. She never got to three.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)
Same here.
My mum never talked about herself in the third person to me either. I wonder if there's a connection.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
god yeah
I can't imagine my mum saying "Not now, mummy's tired..."
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
Haha, no, me neither.
Actually, I've never called my mum "mummy". And I stopped calling my dad "daddy" when I was about four.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
My mum did my head in
So there was a lot of "I'm telling my daddy on yooooooo!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)
good shout fella.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:41, Reply)
You don't complain enough in this country by far
What is this stupid ban on hose pipping in the North, when it's raining here every day? The only reason why there's not enough water is because the pipes are crap. I can't believe nobody has said a word and demand United Utilities (or whoever) to fix the pipes and stop making the public to pay for their problems. Grrr
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)
The British, and the English in particular
are a strange breed. For the most part they keep to themselves, don't like to make a scene and generally behave in an insular manner (as Labia has pointed out, quite often to an extremely selfish extent). But push them too far and suddenly they're invading you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)
I think your invasion time is long, long time ago dead
How can you explain that you're the only country not complaining about the stupid meassures taken by the goverment, and the fact that bankers fucked up but it's us paying for it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)
People complain
But nobody does anything about it. I wish we could have had the Athens riots here, but knowing the fucktarded population of England they'd probably kick the windows of the local Lloyds bank in, rather than marching on Canary Wharf.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)
That's what the Argentinians thought :P
No, I'm only kidding around, third rate countries don't rock boats.

We are complaining, but being English it's a low muttering rather than a yell. Most people here just aren't confrontational until they're pushed beyond tolerance, then we snap.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
I don't know if I'm looking forward or scared to see the snapping
As Labia just said, we'd probably get a lot of mad chavs breaking into banks and rioting.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)
Pretty much, yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)
"Don't like making a scene" "insular manner"
Give me a fucking break. The anount of vile pikeys in replica shirts shouting their way through playgrounds/pubs/shopping centres etc of England, far surpasses that of any other Euro nation.
This mild mannered England populated by reserved and polite folk was a myth put out to increase the sales of Enid Blyton books, and is now only believed by xenophobic Mail readers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)
I think you'll find
that "most people" are the middle English Tory types, not chavs. You can't disagree with a sweeping generalisation of an entire nation by pointing out one sub-culture. That's like saying "the English don't wear green, look at the Goths!"
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)
There are no goths to look at.
The sun is shining and they are all inside pretending to read Camus.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
I don't like goths
They refer to themselves as "beautiful people", thus flying in the face of all the evidence to the contrary. I just can't get along with people who're capable of that amount of self-delusion.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)
I have to say
that I was quite dissapointed when I came here. I was expecting a lot of gentlemen and ladys walking around, being polite and offering tea at 5 o'clock. I discovered a new England in Stockport.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)
I would be delighted to offer to take you for some afternoon tea

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
You live in an ideal town for 'tea-taking'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Your discovered old England
in Stockport. The Victorians invented the other one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)
Completely right!
I'd be so much happier to come back to work if, after 2 weeks off I knew that I can do the same another 3 or 4 times that year, that I'd work harder! This year, after the 3 weeks off in February, I knew I wouldn't have any more holidays until October. That's so depressing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Amen.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)
Not sure if this is from another culture but......
I'd like to pelt eggs at my boss everytime he farts in my office.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Your boss is your dad
I don't see why you shouldn't do it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Is there a culture where you don't have to put up with your in-laws?
Or, indeed, people in general?
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Move to Austria and join the Fritzls.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)
Seems reasonable in the circumstances.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)
But then your family will always be under your feet...

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)
i'm coming to the twisted realisation
That the general public don't deserve me. I should not have to share even a pavement with the Britain's Got Talent-loving spam-faced wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)
Amen!
They should be forced to use a primitive network of tunnels beneath each city, to stop them from getting in our way.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)
I love that suggestion thing on facebook at the side of your homepage
"Katie Price: 5 friends like this."
Helps me decide who needs deleting.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
Hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
Getting to eat Greek food everyday would be chipper ta.
I would also like to have the culture of the early nineties back, when music was good and all my favourite bands were still alive/together.

It's not quite day to day, but it sucks that today I'm going to have tell someone I can't see them anymore. But I did have the
BEST.
FRIDAY.
NIGHT.
EVER.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)
Ditching the meek boy
And going for Mr Danger then?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)
Oh, I've already had Mr Danger. ;)
But he's not the only reason the puppy is going to be history.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)
The puppy, that was it
And good for you, I guess, on having had Mr Danger!
What quality does Mr Friday have? We can't call him Mr Friday for long.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)
Mr Friday and Mr Danger are one and the same.
Me and all my guy mates spent the night at a friends inventing cocktails and listening to loud music. It was ace. My cocktail was called the Randy Poledancer and it was beautiful.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
Ahh I getcha
What was in this cocktail?
Nothing much exciting happened to me this weekend, apart from getting my septum pierced. It hurt for a second, but was ok after that.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
Which bit's the septum again?
2 shots of disaranno
2 shots of cherry sours
1 1/2 shots of lemon juice
2 shots of vodka (optional and what turns it into randy)
Top it up with ice and/or a bit of soda water.

Can I just add, I didn't come up with the name. Everyone else was using their last names but I don't like mine very much and asked for suggestions.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Sounds alright
The septum's the bit in the middle of your nose, between your nostrils.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
It's excellent. And contributed nicely to the other excellent parts of my night.
Ahh, right. I thought it was somewhere on your ear. Does it look good?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
I think it does (it's in my FB profile pic)

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
iTunes 9 changed the way it works so my old ringtone hack didn't work, but I came up with another way to do it and I've written it up.
Will be online in a few hours =)
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
super sweet

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)
Ritual sacrifice of goats
just to spice things up a bit.

Alt Q: At the moment, my lower back.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
Cannibalism.
As to why, I just fucking feel like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
Fucking ok then

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
if you were a cannibal would you rather eat a man or a woman?
no idea why that came into my head.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
I think I know who'd go in his first human curry

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Bernard Manning

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
Hahahah
Well done
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I’d be more concerned about the fat content of the victim. A big fat person of either gender would be tender but over-fatty and thus foul, but then again a super-lean athletic type would be tough and sinewy and would I think on balance be worse. Ideally a medium weight child would be best.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Surely all that could be overcome by proper cooking.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
True indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)
I'd cook and eat Pixie Lott,
she would be delicious.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
Not much meat on her though

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)
Women tend to have more subcutaneous fat than men
But the exact fat content of course depends if you go for a plump one or a lean one, of either sex.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)
Are you supposed to eat fat?
I encountered a girl who loved it (for the texture I think) but many who hate it. Is is personal preference?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
Fat is tasty
That's why low fat foods are bland, and why people eat fatty foods.

That said, you don't need very much of it, so relatively lean meat with a little bit of fat is very nice.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)
Yes
My wife loves to eat the fat off meat (not a euphemism) whereas I prefer lean meat.
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
Are you Jack Spratt?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)
*googles*
no.
(JohntheDane, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
You are Jack Sprat
AICMFP.

Edit - Damn! Beaten to it.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
I love fat
It's gorgeous
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)
*reams out Roota's arteries*

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)
I only did it in my mid-twenties.
At home I wasn't allowed, and recent years I've started saving it for treats.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Do you have a bit jar of fat marked 'treat' on your shelf then?

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)
no, but I grill bacon
And dip toast in the fat and juice that comes off
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
I've taken to frying my bacon
because it's quicker. But I just put it in the pan and heat until some of the fan renders off, which the bacon then cooks in. I figure there's little difference in the fat content either way.

Unless I also put in some mushrooms, as they tend to soak up the fat as they fry.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)
God
You rotter.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)
:D

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)
I've got plenty :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
I lost 4lb of it this week

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)
I'm going to go on a kick soon.
Was talking to a friend about compliments, the last one he gave me was "You can still be really pretty, even if you've got so fat"

Hmph.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
it's so bloody boring
Went out for a nice dinner on Saturday and have another tomorrow, so it's also very bloody difficult
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
I'm a bit ill at the moment, and will try and cope with liquids
I may as well avoid meat for the time being. Though I guess eating protein is good.

I'd go for a nice walk, but it's Camberwell.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)
That's my failing
If I eat out I'm always tempted to eat three times as much as I would at home.

Which means that to balance things out I have to eat like a pauper for 2 days thereafter. And I don't like doing that.

Losing weight is easy if you don't eat out.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)
Indeed
But I eat out quite a bit, so I have to do extreme nonsense for the rest of the week
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
I love eating out

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
I know
If they did low-fat things I promise I would opt for them, but they don't so I can't.
And then there's the wine.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
Ahh booze
I keep trying to be good and opting for gin and tonic, but the cider, she calls to me!

I want to start eating more healthily, but I am so incredibly lazy when it comes to cooking that it just proves difficult.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
I have sugary syrup in my cider. It's baaaaad
Then again, I don't have tonic, I have lemonade or ginger ale. Mmmm, gin.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Cooking it is the easy bit
Not driving yourself insane with cheese cravings is the difficult part
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
THIS
I adore cheese so much, I can't even cut down on my consumption of the stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)
This weekend all I had in the way of 'cheese'
Was some Laughing Cow extra light in my mashed potato.
Sad fucking times.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Oh man
That sounds hellish :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Don't cook then
Just eat raw vegetables. The weight will fall off, and you'll be shitting for Britain within a day and a half.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
I read that post in conjunction with your username
and assumed it was deliberate.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
-narrows eyes-
Are you staying on topic, Lab?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
For once I did not see the innuendo
I must be growing up
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
I was raised on Carry On films

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
My dad still makes us watch them
And my mother sits bawking.
She has no time for boobs.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
How can anyone have no time for boobs?
I could spend the rest of my life in their company.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I plan to

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:52, Reply)
How dare you infer otherwise!
*coughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
-pats on back-
There there. I laugh in the face of your innuendos.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Don't quote the pic
If you don't want it posted ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
OK. I won't.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
at age 18 all children should be reviewed
to see if their best contribution to society is as a source of protein.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1