Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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If in doubt, gaz a mod...John the dane is indeed edmund/edsmeds/medical male/mr happy/the great unitesticular south pole adventurer.
who else didn't figure it out until last night?
Alt q: if you could set fire to any one place of employment, what would it be? My choice; finchley job centre for being utter fuckwits
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:23,
207 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
I've barely noticed his existance to tell you the truth.edit: I think all job centers being burned to the ground will probably reduce unemployment.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)
oh a quick search tells me i did notice himb3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post713990
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)
WowSound usage of the Pandatron by AA there.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:32,
Reply)
I'm going through his old posts now to spot the crazycan't resist giving medical advice
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post812944#post813036
weirdo pervert
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post719008#post719050
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)
Ha!I've searched too, he invoked the Pandatron rather a lot.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:44,
Reply)
ManHe really is a creepy guy...
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
ha Roota was right in there with her suspicions(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:10,
Reply)
I barely noticed his existence eitherI'm not on here in the evenings or weekends.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:29,
Reply)
MeI thought he had just got married and came back from the honeymoon.
How did you find out?
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:26, Reply)
I figured from the advice he gave monty last night.(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:27,
Reply)
I wasn't here last nightCan you link to the post, or tell me which thread was it?
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Sorry I'm on my phone, but I'm sure someone else can.Grats on the new job by the way love
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:32,
Reply)
you are kidding?roota is sherlock holmes, i swear.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:26,
Reply)
NopeShe's a canny lass that one!
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:28,
Reply)
Beware all newbies.You will be closely watched from now on.
Although didn't Ed have a Danish girlfriend, allegedly?
Although there are always similarities in each new persona he comes here with. My ex keeps doing that with new B3ta names. I can always tell it's him.
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girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:28,
Reply)
In theoryhe's just back from honeymoon. She was prettier than any of the Swedish princessess, he said.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)
haha on the subject of your exI called him out on one of them and he had the cheek to deny it. wotnot foolin old badgeroo tho!*
*I may have taken too many drugs as I am actually talking like that at the moment. Just called one of my customers bobaroo
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
I remember thatblatantly him
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 17:11,
Reply)
He was off my radar......until I saw him post last night.
Roota saw through him fairly quickly. Am glad she's met me in person, I gazzed her on an opera related subject the other day!
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)
And you didn't show me your cock or invite me along :((
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:42,
Reply)
I might be able to arrange one out of two......I'm sure I suggested a b3ta outing to the opera a while back, we've got some good stuff in the pipeline for the new season
including the involvement of an ex-Python
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)
That would be ace!And if Chickenlady is to be believed, your cock will be visible on Google Earth, so I don't need that gaz.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:48,
Reply)
*sniffs*People never mention the six pack these days... It's all cock, cock, cock.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
I saw my very first Opera a couple of months backTosca - and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:50, Reply)
Don't worry, it's SFWan outline of PJM's penis
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:51,
Reply)
Me! I want to go to the opera. Only if I can dress up and roota comes too(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:50,
Reply)
I seem to have great difficulty organising a trip to the pub these days......but I'd love to arrange something, if I get it organised then you and roota will be duly invited.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Did he tell MontyTo solve the raisin problem by getting him to repeatedly smash his daughters hand with a hammer until it is double fucked?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:34,
Reply)
No, but al kindly offered to fuck her until it popped out by itselfAhh, I've missed Al terribly
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:36,
Reply)
Do the kids call it 'poping the raisin' these days?It was the cherry back in my youth.
Still, as long as it's one of your 'five a day'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:39,
Reply)
THE SWEETCORN HAS FALLEN OUT OF HER NOSE NOW.Just the raisin to go.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:55,
Reply)
What a blessed relief.I suggest super glueing her nose until she's 16. Then I suggest super glueing something else.
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girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
I should superglue my own nose.It'd save me a good £500 a month.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:03,
Reply)
Just the raisin eh?Is that the currant problem?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:58,
Reply)
It's her 'raisin d'etre' at the moment.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:02,
Reply)
she's been raisin hell these past two days(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:15,
Reply)
That's an in sultana half, that is(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 17:14,
Reply)
Excellent. Now tell her you'll have her nose chopped off if anything else goes in there(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
How does it smell?'brilliant, because like me, it showers every day'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
I've stopped showering with the dogAs all he wants to do is wipe his arse on the bath by sliding up and down the tub like a spasticated child on a slide.
Only the end of the bath where the shower is is gets clean as a result.
Still, my towels last longer now I'm not sharing them with him.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:08,
Reply)
OH MAN!I have been sent to hound that man. I always smell him.
His very first appearance when he said he was Danish and had done the marathon, I didn't think he was Edmund at that point, but I knew he was fake.
I even told DiT as my witness and I checked the Marathon results. No Danes called John, Danes or Johns finishing with his 'time'. I thought "Hmmm, keep an eye on him. He's creepy..."
I sniffed he might be Ed with the 'tourist advice' on Malmo and KNEW it was him at the advice he gave Monty.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:40,
Reply)
who is this bloke? what's he done?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:49,
Reply)
Thought he was a bit creepyBut it turns out he's actualy realy seriously fucking creepy, serial bigamist, compulsive liar and accidentaly mangled some poor bastarads hand when he lied his way into acting as a medic or a doctor or something. Oh and he said something about going to the north pole in a rocket car I think....
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1219741/Victim-lying-Major-TA-girl-fell-serial-fantasist-said-hed-Army-medic-fighter-pilot-psychiatrist.html
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)
what a mental(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
YeahThat and he sent a load of pics of his cock to various b3ta ladies.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:00, Reply)
seriously? You wonder what goes through some peoples minds(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:09,
Reply)
Insane fantasies in his caseNot much else I'm guessing. Funny as it is, the guy is also a wee bit dangerous so I'm rather glad we've got Roota the nutter detector on here.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:12, Reply)
How ironic that I spot the nuttersyet none of you have identified me as a clinically mental
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:16,
Reply)
Well we're not nutter spotters are weAnyway, surely if you can spot you're a nutter, then you're sane enough to make an objective judgement of your insanity - meaning you're not insane (and you have to fly anyway).
Oh and your sig - Catatonia song? I was trying to place it then it popped up on my random playlist generator thing.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:19, Reply)
Well, whilst I do like that Catatonia song very muchI was on about an Eagles song.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:26,
Reply)
OhI haven't heard the Eagles song... Haven't realy heard that much of the eagles beyond the obvious songs realy. Any good?
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:29, Reply)
YeahWhat i've heard I like, but I don't think I could say they're my favorite band realy. I still love tequila sunrise though.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)
His cock?Says who? Course he's no serial killer. but with teh provenance proven...
(, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
I kinda spotted himhe sort of registered as a bit creepy but I didn't connect the two realy as there's a lot of people that are a bit creepy out there.
Alt Q. Debenhams in canterbury. Used to clean there before I started uni. Utter shithole, utter cunts to work for.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)
Was it a shitholeBefore or after you started cleaning?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
Before and after"Cleaning" basicaly involved me doing the bare minimum and then either hiding out in the break room chatting or locking myself in the supply cupbord with a decent book and my CD player.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)
Ha!I had a Saturday job there a long, long time ago.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
Shit isn't it?Only place where Ive dreaded coming into work right from the first week.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)
It was, yes.The department manager used to take advantage of the fact I was doing A levels and therefore 100% brighter than her (that says a lot!). I used to have to do all the sales returns and cash the tills up at the end of the day. They probably don't even do that anymore what with computers.
/elderlyblog
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
I don't know wether it's just that particular store or if it's every storeBut it's like the place actualy sapped my soul, my happieness and my will to live gradualy. Might have been the building.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)
I hereby denounce RogerthestarfishSomething up with him and all.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:45,
Reply)
Aw! I like him.I think it's his B3ta name I like though. It sounds like a character from Spongebobsquarepants.
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girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:46,
Reply)
His trip sounded too contrivedToo cliched.
'American-by-numbers'
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:49,
Reply)
Fair playI'm not dead set that he's a wrong'un.
Just thought I might be on a winning streak with hounding nutters.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:53,
Reply)
You nuttertron must be going off all the time, living in the Pool.(
girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:55,
Reply)
we need to get you a nutter stick you can just point at people who aren't right(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:01,
Reply)
did anyone meet him on his trip to the UK?(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:19,
Reply)
I say he's real, and rather nice.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:10,
Reply)
wait, Monty in "I actually like this" shocker?(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:22,
Reply)
Someone from here met him, I'm sure(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
He's coming back to visit us again in a couple of months.We should stake out every airport and expose him.
Or ourselves to him, if you prefer.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:05,
Reply)
HmmI can see this turning into some sort of Macarthy like witchunt. Only instead of communists we have Ed.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:49, Reply)
I said to Roota, ages ago:"There's no way that JohntheDane is Danish. The Danish in his profile is primary school stuff."
Had no clue it was Ed, though.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
Does he mention having blonde hair and eating a lot of pickled fish?(
girlinthehole, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:58,
Reply)
Now you mention it, I've never seen dit eating fish and he's a definite brunetteNarrows eyes
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:01,
Reply)
I was white blonde as a child, it's the dirty London air turned it brown.Also, I eat fish all the time.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:05,
Reply)
OooohDanish lies... I bet he didn't even like Danish bacon or Lego!
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)
Yeah but he's so weird I bet he doesn'twell... maybe the tiny Lego Hospital!?
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:16, Reply)
HahaAlso, this has made me realise I miss lego. Sad times Flim, sad times indeed.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:21, Reply)
Yeah I bet he's never set foot in Ikeawait...
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:20,
Reply)
If I had a meatpuppet accountI'd soooooo be calling him PeteTheSwede right about now.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
I've got a second account lying about somewhereBut can't remember the username it has just now, which makes signing in a bit of a problem.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)
This lad really doesn't have the first ideadoes he *want* to get caught out, or does he simply not have the imagination to tell different lies each time?
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Kroney, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
It just makes me wonderthat even a proper head-mental like him would continue to come back five or six times in a row and try the same stuff with the same people in the same way.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:05,
Reply)
He really is that daft.He tried to get my company details off me so he could come along and talk to someone where I work about an 'invention' he had. I didn't give him the details and once he realised I was with DiT he buggered off and started bothering Roota! Haha
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:13, Reply)
pandergazzing me is not in itself the mark of a creep, right?Cos if so, I'm up the Swannee here.
Do we know ANYTHING about this djtp who claims to be my boyfriend?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
He's a Scot, isn't he?If so, you've made your own bed there, love. No pun intended.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:27,
Reply)
He is indeedI asked for this really didn't I?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:28,
Reply)
Everything North of WatfordAlien country full of weird-talking alcos.
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Kroney, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
And I'll have DiT when you're done with him as well!(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
How many b3tans do you want?Sheesh, insatiable!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:31,
Reply)
One at a timeBut I bet djtp tires of all the facepalming eventually, and I'll be chucked.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:32,
Reply)
So you've set up a list so you can work your way through 'em?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
I'd prefer to keep the one I have really/mush
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
I'm sure you won't have a problem with thatHe seems rather smitten!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
Who's written about Britain(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:38,
Reply)
So, you seeYou can consider yourself safely taken.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:41,
Reply)
HahaSpeaking of hiring out people, have you heard about these people in America that rent themselves out as 'friends' to rich people who don't have time to make proper friends!? They're paid by the hour and everything. Its like an escort but without the sexehtime!
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)
I'm one of them.And a doctor.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
I cannot believe my amazing life myself, sometimes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
oh my godLab pays me a pint a night to pretend to be his friend. I need to renegotiate
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
I'll negotiate for you.,I'm a professional negotiator, when I'm not doing my other stuff.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
ShithausThis is actually true.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
Just saying.I mean, he's proven he's marriage material.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
Oooh!Shall I buy a hat?
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
i'll stick with the jock for nowBut if she dumps him...
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:44,
Reply)
No need.I'm also a milliner.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
A man with a hat, you say?(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
No, a milliner.There's a joke I am entirely missing here, I suspect.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:51,
Reply)
Ooh! TWhite, no sugar thanks.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
Could be that he basicaly more or less beleives his own bullshitI don't know
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)
I watched The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last nightit was pretty good
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:12,
Reply)
I liked it too. did you watch it dubbed or with subtitles?I went for dubbed as I was in bed and I wish I hadn't.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:28,
Reply)
HmI've heard it's good and I'm basicaly too lazy to IMDB it. What's it actualy about?
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)
I read somewhere that it's supposed to be about the abuses of women from men.Basic description is man is hired to find a girl missing since 1966
it is sooooooooooo good
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
The book is brilliantI want to see the film.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
I have my suspicions about other b3tansNot that they're fake, but rather that they're touched.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
Ah, she's left tooMAYBE SHE'S ROGERTHESTARFISH
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
AHHH FUCK THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!We're gonna need a bigger nutter stick.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)
A shorter list would include......those who aren't touched in some way.
(, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)
Yes, but there's touched and there's 'touched'Most of us know we're a little on the odd side of normal - we're British Eccentrics.
Then there's the 'Bark!Squeek!Woo!Hoo!Kerching!Fart!' Nutters.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
That marks you out as a wrong 'un straightaway(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 4 Aug 2010, 16:50,
Reply)
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