New thread!
As the last thread had a minor scuffle in, I want to know who you'd most want to fight.

Pick three people, either people you know, b3tans or celebrities, and your style of combat. Would you go Queensbury rules, bareknuckle Fight Club style, or full-on Mortal Kombat style?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:05, 170 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Only three people?
It's going to take me ages to narrow it down.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Pick the three that come first to mind
And have them not be me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Erm...
it might take even longer than I thought.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Don't quote back to me what I said to you that fateful night

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Was that when you said
"Clendrix has stupid hair"?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

You have some odd dreams

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Clendrix and both her norks
I'd be playing to lose really.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Hello, Married Al.

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Ohhhh, Al got TOLD, playing the maridge card.
"Oh look at you, you're married, my lushous norks will go un-Motorboated now, they're so loanly now you're married, because you can't do that now, oh well, I wonder if I can find some other strapping young bruite of a man to motorboat them into the early hours of the night, now you can't do it, because you're married. oh diddums and drat !"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Any attempt at motorboating Clendrix would surely result in being crushed twixt her massive mammaries..

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

They're not for you to comment on, so STFU.

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Like a twix bar between two cinder-blocks.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

So she needs a strapping young man
preferably someone with easy access to the Piccalilli line, and one who likes eating good food.

Now, who could I suggest as my successor.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I don't require a replacement Al, thank you.

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Woooo!
I was a bit worried I might get usurped in my abscence.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

But, you know, as long as I NEVER EVER EVER take up the offer, I'm cool to be next in line, yeah'?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

:)

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Hey
I thought I'd claimed your boobs? Am I goingto have to stick a little flag between them next time I see you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

TGB, can we recreate this photo?
here.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

WTF?!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Don't think about it, Labs.
Here, have a cup of mindbleach.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

The idea of you making Lab drink bleach
amuses me greatly
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I hate you

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I love you

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Me or Lab?
If you love lab it's over between us
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Lab.
But I was, as usual, being sarcastic.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

At least you weren't 'being ironic'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

no

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

lol

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Hah, damn =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

NSFW! NSFW!
Isn't that your Auntie Sandra and Barry?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Someone on my facebook posted it.
They're at a water park, but out of context, I think that is the best photo I've ever seen.

I might make a website called www.ContextRequired.com or something.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I tried that
but then it squirted all this sticky stuff and fell over.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

He'll still do it.
She'll still love it.
The world'll keep on turning.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Hi BFF!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I've missed you, you red-faced, grinning and sweatily happy bastard.

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I was dancing like a highly relieved twat that evening.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

You were properly entertaining.
Tightly's video-capture was very classy indeed.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Oh no, I'll have to get a copy of that off him
The Orange Goblin tickets have arrived BTW.

Did I get my slayer ticket stub back off you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I thought I gave that to you...
I bloody hope so because I don't know where it is if I didn't :(
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I'll have a look when I get home

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Slayer were amazing at Sonisphere
I need to see them again.

I'm sure I've seen Orange Goblin supporting someone, but I'm buggered if I can remember who, or what they were like.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I don't want to fight anyone, someone might get hurt, that would be terrible !
Why would anyone fight someone just for the sake of it? Can we go quazar instead, and with more people, because it's shit with just four people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I guess Quazar counts as a fighting style
Are they still running? The local ones shut down years ago.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

There's one over the water at New Brighton
We went last year for a birthday.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

There's one at Stourbridge
are there enough Midland b3tans for it to be worthwhile?

EDIT - actually, no fuck it - there's one in Birmingham, I'd forgotten about that.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'd do it
They're talking about doing it for our christmas do at work, so the practice would come in handy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I just found one on google in greenwich, HAPPY DAYS !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I would so fucking come to Quasar

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

As would I!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Orange or green team?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

^ this
I haven't been for yeeeeeears.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I went last year and LOVED it
You see, I hate anticipation.
I mean I must love it deep down because it gets me so exhilarated, but when playing tag and stuff I'd often just stop and go "AARGH JUST GET ME! GET ME!"
SO for me, being shit at shooting and strategy, Laser Quest (as it is now known) is just an opportunity for me to run around in the dark gwtting shot and squealing "AAAAARGH! GET ME AND GET IT DONE!!" while loud music plays, and the cat hairs show right up on my clothes under the UVs.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Hahaha!
You should shout "I'm here! Kill meeeeeeee!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I doooooo!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Aw, that's no fun!
I've only been a couple of times but I was a master at hiding and taking potshots at people and then coming out with a ludicrously high score. Good times.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I haven't been since I was about 12
I got proper upset when the birthday girl won, because she was allowed to take some free shots at us, as "It's her birthday".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

That's shocking, that is
HOW WILL SHE EVER LEARN IF YOU LET HER CHEAT?!
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

She got a free tshirt as well
I really fucking wanted a Quasar tshirt, the kids in my year would've been well jealous. Except the one guy who had a Nemesis tshirt from Alton Towers, nobody could top that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Pfft, I'm sure it was wasted on her
I'm sure there must be one in London, we should arrange to go after DG's bash or something. I think the sight of a load of hungover 20- and 30-somethings running around like a big bunch of twats with lasers would be hilarious, personally.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

This needs to happen

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I went for a mate's birthday a couple of years ago.
It was a dozen hung over mid twenties folks, versus a dozen 12-year-olds. It was a massacre.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Peedo

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Due to how my mind works
I just imagined Wookiee in a Speedo. I'm now off to counseling.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

to counselling for a wank
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Ooh look at that, I corrected your spelling mistake in my strikethrough.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Huh
Firefox insisted it was with one 'l'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Americanism

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Same thing, innit?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

*laughs snot over keyboard*

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Yeah
I fucking hate that kind of shit
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I remember I was once at one and the strobe came on and it was the first time I've ever seen a strobe light.
And everyone was moving around in a really blocky way and I laughed so much I wee'd myself.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I'd already seen a strobe at a pantomime
But I still loved it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

And another time I saw this little control thing connected to a wire, with a nob on it, so I turned it around and they had to evacuate the place for a few hours because it was the control to the smoke machine.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

^ this again
Oh yeah!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

We should do a /talk vs /offtopic

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Is pistol whipping still frowned upon?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Surely that's unfair
the massive bulk of /qotw would make us easy targets.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

you'll just get upset when neither wants you on their side

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

It's like school for him all over again

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

You're not invited.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

It's ok I'll just invite myself anyway regardless of whether or not people have made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that I'm not wanted.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

You're going to to have to learn to fight.
You know, what with living in Mugging Central and that.
( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Hmmm....
B3tans? I'd challenge Bert Monkeysex to an old fashioned duel. The weapon of choice would be a wet fish each.

Celebrities? Take your pick from the world of politics.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I don't really do violence
I threaten it, quite frequently, but it's been a long time since I've actually hauled off and lamped someone.
I once overheard a beautiful quip at a fresher's bash - some emo fringed Jarvis Cocker-alike was loudly holding forth about some bollocks when he said 'Oh, but I'm a lover, not a fighter.'
In the hush that followed this enormous piece of prattery, some Geordie bloke on the next table leaned over and said 'aye, 'n you're a pretentious twat an' all.'
I bought him a drink.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Fantastic!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It was a beautiful moment
credit to the ponce though, he did pipe down after that.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Must every story you tell devolve into your trying to gain entry to the world of cottaging?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Mortal Kombat style against Mick Hucknall
Fight Club against Rio Ferdinand
Queensbury Rules against Piers Morgan
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Rio Ferdinand - great shout - plus he looks like Darkwing Duck!
Can you shout Merked in his face when you deliver the knockout blow
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Peter Mandelson - fight with chainsaws.
Nick Griffin - using baseball bats.
Kerry Katona - bareknuckle.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It wouldn't be so much a fight as 'Hey Peter, catch!', surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Nah - I'd like to take my time with him.
Of the 3 it's Nick Griffin I'd really like to kick the hell out of.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

^this
Nothing else to add really...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Do I need to answer this?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'd like to kick everyone
right in the fucking tits.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Peter Tatchell.
No real reason, I just want to punch his face in. I'd fight dirty, eye-gouging etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Definitely agree with you on that one

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I'd also like to kick Gandhi's head in.
The fucking paedo wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Good answer!

( Peej, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Let's all hit - flash mob to punch Tatchell.
I like this thread.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

This guy at work that I hate
that would be Tekken style, I'd be Hwoarang; I'd run up his face and then kick him in the back of the head.

Then I'd punch Quentin Blake for ruining Roald Dahl's books with his retarded monkey scribble. Just one punch though, because I'm One Punch Kitty.

Then, to complete the rampage, I'd go and do the five finger death punch thing from Kill Bill to this iWanker that I hate, for being such an annoying douchebag all day every motherfucking day.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I like Quentin Blake
one of my favourite illustrators behind Ronald Searle.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

he sucks and you're wrong.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

:(
I'll never be loud and inappropriate near you again.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

aww I'm sorry, I take it back

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Perfect combination of geekery and rage

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Fuck Off!
Quentin Blakes illustrations were the perfect accompaniment to Roald Dahls books.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Cameron,
he's fucking up international politics at the moment and deserves a slap or two.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

You couldn't slap him
your palms would slip right off his shiny shiny head. It's a punch or nothing, really.
(berk, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

best thread ever !
Tom Cruise - Bryan Fury fist smash maniac giggle so I don't have to see him smile again

Harry Redkanpp - Hannibal Lecter face eating style as I hate that potato faced wanker

Bertmonkeysex - Bushido style as I would win and could show off that way
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

'Kris' Marshall
unto death. The fucking turd.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

mornin' Monty
not taken your happy pills yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Russell Howard
the fucking Downs-faced bonk-eyed unfunny twat. If I see him doing his impression of an excited child one more time I am unleashing Zyklon B on Brizzle as punishment for allowing him to reach adulthood.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

He left Bristol ages ago
Besides he lived in South Glos. He now lives in Leamington Spa and has a place in Maida Vale. Want his address? He is a really good bloke.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

And
We all know Leamington Spa is FUCKING AWESOME WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I now love Leamington after a few visits recently. I like the white horse and cheekies? the strip joint
and Kelsies? I cant remember the names but its an ace place. I left some vomit there in appreciation.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Leam is all of the awesome.
I think everyone has vomited on it though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

It's the perfect sized place.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

We should have a Leamington bash

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I would def come
besides I'm there again in a few weeks time if you fancy a beer?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I'm always up for meeting weirdoes off the internet

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

valid point!
I will gaz you when coming up and if you're around pop out for a beer. I will be with lots of medical students so if I do savagely beat you you will be looked after.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

haha!
Damn medical students *shakes fist* I actually do enjoy meeting weirdoes off the internet though.

Apart from Lab. I didn't enjoy meeting him
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Only because I ran away when your pubic tentacles tried to drag me in to your chasm
You know, if I hadn't heard your cuntbeak clacking away in excited anticipation, I would have been caught unawares.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I hate you so much
I was going to invite you but now I'm not
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)

If you invite me
And it's at a time when I'm not away, I'll come and buy you a nice pint of cider.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)

You're always away
whenever I invite you anywhere.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I'm a busy chap
Just been notified of the FIFTH wedding and FOURTH stag do I have to attend this year.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)

good good, *sharpens surgical tools*

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

He lives in Leamington Spa?
Monty, I'm just down the road from there...
*knowing look and slight nod*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

You're not welcome in the Spa

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

*gets on train*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I am really upset
You'll come here to beat up Russell Howard but wouldn't come here to see me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Who says?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Whoooooo are you! WHO! WHO! WHO! WHO!
I sang that aloud whilst typing. I think it went down well
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Maybe you could release it as a download-only single.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Russel Brand
The smarmy cunt that he is. I'd tackle him to the ground, shave his fucking hair off and jam it down his throat, then as he's choking I'll just keep punching his face into the concrete. It'd be like that bit at the end of Sin City, not stopping until his skull's well and truly pasted evenly over the floor, my knuckles broken and bleeding.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Then I'd kick you in balls
because I like him more than I like you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

You like cancer more than you like me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I'd take on the roll of consoling the grieving Katy Perry
WITH MY DICK
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I'd 'roll' her

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

You're such a bad 'roll' model
We can correct this with 'roll' play though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

I was referring to the Roll of Consolation
it's a granary roll.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Not that you'll wrestle her around
Like an alligator taking it's prey for a death roll?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)

no, not like that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Oh yes
Evolution should take notice of that one.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)

James 'Jimmy' Nesbitt.
I’d love to kick him to death. Then I’d go to his funeral and piss on his grave in front of everyone. Afterwards I’d dig the cunt up and kick his body to pieces, then re-bury him, then dig him up and do it all again.

He has the most deliciously punchable face ever and just hearing his smug voice makes me want to hurt people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Ok I agree with this one
I also fucking hate that welsh guy... with the pointy face.. gets everywhere and isn't funny at all
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Tom Jones?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Christian Bale?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Stuart Cable (RIP you legend)?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Cerys Matthews?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Kaol?

( thealternativefact, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Winnar!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

rOB rYDON?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Rob Brydon?
Yes, he's ruined enough QI to warrant a slap.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Al of the above!
But mainly Rob Brydon. Points to Zoz (half a point to boobies)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I want a whole point for artistic flair.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

You can have a whole point for whining about wanting points

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

1.5 points. Beeeeeeeeeeeooooottiful

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)

GET IN!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

James Corden
I'd love to walk over to him while he's trying to chat up some girl with his wide-faced wideboy, if-i-shout-a-bit-and-look-angry-people-might-think-i'm-funny twattish charm, and in one fluid motion just drop to one knee and punch him in the balls.

Then when he's doubled over, I'd take a few steps back, then one to the side, before running up and booting his fat head clean off his body. As blood's spurting from his neck, I'd shout "You're not funny, 'Lesbian Vampire Killers' is a massive bag of wank, but you crossed the line when you laid into Patrick Stewart!".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Have you seen ...
said massive bag of wank? I'm not defending it, just curious.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Yes I have
It's terrible, but has boobs in it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Much like the internet
or life in general.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I'd fight Jordan
and I would win. Presumably because I would be using acid, and she would be unarmed (from a previous mutilation)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)

You have nicer breasts too.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 6 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)