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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Buf! Too many replies down there now
So, I have a little bit of a job and I need someone to do it, creating a web page, wedding related, but I've been told of for doing this before, so I won't say anything else, and you can gaz me if you're interested.

When was the last time you were told off. Or that you told someone off? (No nonsense about having sex and role playing, we all know it's a lie, there's no sex on the internet)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:14, 175 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I've got some chocolate raisins.
This doesn't answer your question at all, but I wanted to share the information.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Harry Redknapp 5pm yesterday
nah the pitch doesnt bother me it's not an issue

Harry Redknapp 10pm yesterday

bloody disgrace all artificial pitches should be banned.

What a massive cunt
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Have you asked that ginger lass out yet?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
apparently she doesn't work there
she is a friend of one of the other workers. I am going to the dentist later so gonna see if the sweaty bald guy is in and might ask him about her. Not sure how rapey that is. She is bound to drink on the G road so may just hit Stokes Croft this weekend hoping. If no joy plenty of other ginger emo/alternatives I can try and ensnare.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)
as long as you don't mind the old rusty roof/smelly garage situation

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)
of my two ginger conquests
neither had stinky muff syndrome. I was relieved.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)
they must have been freaks

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)
both veggies,
both artists,
both unhinged so yes you are correct.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Both gay as well
From the sound of things.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:42, Reply)
If I was a bumder
I reckon my ginger fetish would disappear

edit like that s
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
One of many things I am eternally grateful to you for, that phrase.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)
share the wealth is my philosophy

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Beautiful.
Turn of phrase. Puts me off gingers completely.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)
Bad times.
Get yourself in the Flyer and keep your eyes peeled. She'll turn up in due course.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
I find since renovations
the clientele of the Flyer is a bit smarmy now. The jitters don't frequent it on key nights like Fri and Sat. It's all down at the Canteen and the Croft at the mo. Which is fine by me.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Shit pub becomes nice pub
And you don't like it?

The range and quality of the drink in the Flyer is outstanding.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)
I like things grimy and dirty and well used
not new and shiny.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)
I hear Harry Redknapp is hoping for a better performance
when he comes up against Young Boys at home
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I have a drifter bar. Beat that canine shagger

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Do you remember the limited edition
Banana Drifter? That was double lush. Probably the best of all the 'limited edition' chocolate bars.

I like Drifters.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
never had that. Sounds good though. I am still getting over a craving for a Texan bar after someone mentioned them on here recently

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)
It was me.
They were far and away the best bars ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)
They were totally ace, but a potential teeth breaker if refrigerated.

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)
They were. At least I now know who to blame for my craving. Cheers Monty.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
I can't even remember drifters. I am being good at the mo well trying.
but couldn't resist the lure of the new milkybar raisin biscuit thing. Spent an hour in the gym the next day feeling bad. I have been a saint this summer up until last week.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)
Gay post is gay

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
yeah I know
BUMDER ALERT on myself for being a fucking homme.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Über-gay, I reckon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Weapons-grade gay.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
I reckon you're in the right place for that kind of help
Gonz may be your man.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:20, Reply)
I don't know
He might be very busy very soon.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)
And I might not be able to afford him

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)
hmm.... probably last got told off about 4 months ago.
Told my brother off about three weeks ago for expecting me to be his maid. He didn't take it well
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:20, Reply)
Why is being his maid a bad thing?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)
because I'm not, and he's ungrateful and a bully, and I'm sick of being a doormat.
I've told him I'm not going to drive him around anymore, and that I will not hang out his washing or bring it in when all he does is swear at me and make jokes at my expense. He's been in a foul mood with me since, but I really don't care.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Ah, I see
Maid as a servant. Not maid as a Maid of Honour.

Right there. I wouldn't want to be my brother's maid.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
How old is he?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)
well, assuming she's not being paid, which is quite likely
she would essentially be her brother's slave.

There is nothing good about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)
also, he's younger then me, spoilt, and a prat.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
what a fucker
you should cunt him in the fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
refusing to drive him everywhere is enough to get him back.
we live in the middle of nowhere, and he relies on me and my parents for lifts. since I've stopped driving him, if mum and dad wont either, he's stuck, and he LOATHES it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)
good punishment then
I approve
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)
its passive but it works. :D

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Yes, I understand now
I thought he was getting married.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
sibling slavery can be a good thing - if you are the master.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
I got told off by my gf last night for calling someone a cunt when on the Heathrow Express
exciting times.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:24, Reply)
mmmm...
Was he/she being a cunt?

I was told off yesterday by a pedestrian for cycling on the pedestrian way. I think we were both right, but I thought of my reply when I was far too far from him...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)
yes they were - repeatedly. I hate when I can't think of a reply until afterwards.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
If you were cycling in the pedestrian section
there was no way you were right.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
^this
actually against the law isn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
It is. The worst is when fucking cyclists run red lights when I'm trying to cross the road. The death penalty should be brought back for this.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
I don't mind cyclists until the ride side by side
then I think fair game if I clip you it's your fucking fault.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)
For not being able to drive properly?
Yeah, definitely the cyclists fault that you're an impatient cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)
and you're an idiot
why don't you read the post first. I don't have a problem with cyclists but they don't need to ride side by side chatting holding up the fucking traffic.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)
You're being an impatient cunt.
If there is room to overtake one cyclist there should be room to overtake two cyclists moving side by side you should allow as much room for a cyclist as a car.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)
wow what a massive cunty assumption
I'll make a couple of my own then. You don't live in the countryside and you're a cyclist.

Sometimes Al you're wrong. All the time you're a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)
You just said it's fair enough to hit a cyclist with your car
I think that's a pretty cunty attitude.

The highway code says it's okay to ride up to two abreast if you want.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)
yeah
cause all government reccomendations are advisable and correct in all situations. I was being flippant Al, I forgot that all your posts are verbatim and factually accurate. God forbid you were to make a joke about something that might upset somebody but when it's something you like, cycling, you turn into some prick enforcer. Just chill the fuck out man.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:58, Reply)
Why do you insist on getting so angry at the internet?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)
probably the same reasons
you insist on being an arrogant cunt on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:04, Reply)
For pointing out that you're clearly a bad driver who doesn't leave enough room for cyclists?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Ill correct my statement
A deluded arrogant cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:12, Reply)
This brilliant
it fits on my profile after the comment you made one of the first times you got upset.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:20, Reply)
epic fail Al.
I thought you would at least try and make some sort of argument back. Instead you just avoided the points I made and reverted back to the 'look I made someone react' mode. Bert does that.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:24, Reply)
Shut up Bert

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)
You didn't make any points
you called me a deluded arrogant cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:30, Reply)
before that Al

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:36, Reply)
that does work well
I also like the "monumental cunt" one. If I didn't post a picture of that vagina shaped sculpture in new york then I should've done
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:36, Reply)
I think you posted it in that exact thread.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:38, Reply)
then all is right with the world

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:41, Reply)
I never knew that
I always used to get so annoyed when I lived in the countryside and cyclists would ride two abreast because it was impossible to overtake them, so they often made me late for work.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:11, Reply)
I'm not saying it's not annoying
but there's nothing illegal in what they're doing. Personally if I noticed a large queue I would drop back behind.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:18, Reply)
that's how it should be
sadly not the case with most though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:20, Reply)
!!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Go on, mash your keyboard in frustration
then post a picture of you with a shoe on your head crying red hot tears of frustrated rage.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:24, Reply)

keyboard penis
rage ecstacy
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:25, Reply)
I know it is legal
but it pisses me off anyway.

It's just bad fucking manners if nothing else. I mostly see it on single lane (each way) A roads on the way to the north coast, where there are very few places to safely overtake a car or two bikes side by side, and yet the speed limit is safely 60 mph.

Being stuck behind two cunts on bikes travelling at 20mph is most frustrating in those situations and I would like the cyclists to give that some thought and stop doing it for the few seconds that it takes for cars to pass.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:19, Reply)
same goes for grockles driving at 20mph and stopping without warning to look at the little bunny wabbits.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:22, Reply)
I hate people that drive 10mph or more under the speed limit on country roads

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I hate people who drive
especially people who drive on roads when I want to drive somewhere
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:25, Reply)
YEAH!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)
those motherfuckers

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)
this is true
but loads of them round here are 60 mph speed limits yet everyday there is some tosser driving at 30. And people don't indicate in the countryside that is fecking annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)
grockle?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:27, Reply)
noo taa, they taste a'smooke.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:34, Reply)
old person who goes for scenic drives on Sundays

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:46, Reply)
error
grockles are tourists, mainly used for those not from the south west when they are here clogging up our roads.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:51, Reply)
that's quite sweet

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:54, Reply)
Actually, he's entirely correct
You should leave a car's width in case they have to swerve or move for anything anyway. If I'm on my bike, there are few things as annoying as cars overtaking right next to you.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:00, Reply)
No, no POD I won't have that at all.
I'm just being a cunt, pure and simple.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)
as much as I think you are a cunt Al
you are often right
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:03, Reply)
Oh so you are
I'm clearly just picking up latent grumpiness, we couldn't possibly both be right.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:04, Reply)
exeter is fucking dreadful for everyone jumping the lights, in cars more than bikes
every day I see people carrying on once their light has turned red. on 4 way junctions where most of it is blind as well.

wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)
london cab drivers are masters at carrying on like that and then they get arsey if you give them grief for it - "ah'm tryin' to earn a livin' you caahnt"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)
I don't know
but people riding on the pavement really piss me off. That said, there are lots of really shit bits where bikes and pedestrians are meant to share, and neither like it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Same here. But then of course everything pisses me off all the time.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)
mr grumpy...

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
Me, earlier:

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I'd be grumpy with arms that short
If he gets an itchy nose he's fucked.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)
His shoes must STINK of piss, too.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Maybe that's why he's pulling that face

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Lo, for I have lolled.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:53, Reply)
more than likely he can't have a wank either...
also - that picture made me squeak with glee.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
difficult to have a wank too

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)
beat ya!

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)
In your own time, old chap, in your own time...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Terribly sorry for that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I sincerely hope
the reason you posted so late is that, like Mr Grumpy, you were frustrately trying and failing to have a wank because of your fliddy blue arms.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:57, Reply)
How did you guess? I need to have a couple of vertebrae removed so I can suck my own cock instead.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:10, Reply)
erm
that's the least of his problems, given that he doesn't seem to have a cock in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:06, Reply)
Trust Swipey to look for it
One track mind, that lass.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:09, Reply)
In Runcorn
Or most of it, the bikes share with pedestrians (there are signs everywhere). I was in the bike path, turned to the right and there were no more signs in this new path, but I assumed it was like the rest. Maybe it wasn't, I'm not sure.

There are no laws about bikes, there are recommendations. Same as it's recommended to pedestrian to cross the road when the lights are green, but they do it whenever they can, or think they can.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:42, Reply)
Errrm, there are quite a few laws relating to bikes
All traffic light laws are applicable to bikes. Speeding laws are also applicable to bikes, which is a bit silly really, but there you go.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)
I've set off one of them there speed cameras on my bike
The ones that show your speed on a board. It resides at the bottom of a big hill, and apparently I was doing 33mph. I was chuffed, if a little scared.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Are they proper laws?
Can you be taken to court for breaking them? I wasn't aware of that.

In that case, I want my space on the road. If I count like a car, I want to count like a car for everything. I don't want to have to cycle on the side of the road, next to the curb, where all the potholes are. And I don't want to risk my life in every round about and junction, because the car behind me can't wait 2 seconds. They wouldn't overtake a car in that situation, and I'm like a car, so don't overtake me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)
I kind of agree
But your bike's not as wide as a car, therefore impatient cunts will come close if it means they can overtake you.
I've been forced into kerbs all too often, especially as the old roads in my town are rather narrow.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)
You don't have to cycle next to the kerb
In fact anyone who cycles a lot knows that you should be at least a metre off the kerb to give you space to swerve. Indeed, if you cycle further from the kerb cars will usually treat you better, especially if you demonstrate awareness of their presence by looking round etc.

But if you jump lights or swerve in and out of lanes without indicating then you will most likely get hurt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I am much too slow.
IT'S BECAUSE I'M REALLY OLD!!!!!

/Pires
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)
I don't do that
I'm very careful all the time, that's why I go so close to the kerb, and they scare the shit out of me. I've decided to go walking and crossing like a pedestrian in a couple of big roundabouts, after being almost killed twice by impatient twats.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:59, Reply)
Although it seems odd
if you ride in a nervous manner you are far more likely to get hurt than if you just take the lane at roundabouts i.e. move out to stop cars overtaking you.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:00, Reply)
I can't do that
Honestly, I've been too close to them several times. They overtake you and cross just in front of you, and if you complain, they still shout at you that it's your fault.

I've been almost crushed by a bus, when the driver forgot to look out for cyclist on the side, bastard. I had to knock his window to stop him going over me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:02, Reply)
the bus driver probably did it on purpose
because they are all massive sociopathic cunts
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:04, Reply)
I love letting buses out so they give you a big thumbs up

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:09, Reply)
me too :-D
I've only recently noticed that they do it. Previously I would never let them out, and now I always do.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:12, Reply)
I usually do,
but only because they scare me. But this one was stopped, not even lights on. And decided to start up when I was almost under his window. Stupid.

I've decided I prefer my safety than the laws. That's why I don't wait at the front at junctions anymore, specially if I'm turning right, and just go to the end of the queue, on the right side of the road, and take it at my own pace.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Where do you live?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:08, Reply)
That was in Manchester
I hate cycling in Manchester. I uset to leave home at 7am in order to avoid traffic 4 years ago. Now I have to leave around 6am.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:15, Reply)
I do that! I leave the house at 7.30am so it's quiet
it's terrifying.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:56, Reply)
it's the demonstrating awareness bit that fucks me off
we frequently get cunts cycling along main roads here in the middle of the road, travelling a good 20 mph slower than the cars are allowed to go, and they are seemingly oblivious to this.

When I'm on my bike, while I am aware that I have rights on the road, I'm also aware that most drivers are shitcunts and so I make myself as aware as possible of what they are doing and get out of the way if I am holding them up.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)
^This
Mind you, I nearly caught a cyclist this morning. I was waiting for a gap in traffic to turn right, and as one came out I was juuuust about to move when I quickly checked my wing mirror and saw a cyclist come shooting along my right hand side (also turning right).

Had I not clocked him, well, I would have clocked him...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:05, Reply)
That's bad cycling
I also hate motorbikes who do this.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:06, Reply)
Yes, it is bad
Still would have likely been my neck had I caught him.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:08, Reply)
It might be bad
But I cycle on the right if I'm turning right, as I don't want cars going straight to crush me because they can't wait 2secs. Too many of those I've had.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:16, Reply)
You're a perfect example of why cycliing in a nervous fashion
is more dangerous.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:23, Reply)
I also caught a cyclist this morning.
My traps really are fucking good these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:08, Reply)
Did you drown it?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Or cook and eat it?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:10, Reply)
Not yet.
I’m keeping it alive so I can test out a few ‘ideas’ that I’ve been having lately.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:11, Reply)
find out how hard it is to pull his arm off

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:17, Reply)
You are Josef Mengele
and I claim my free amputation.
(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:18, Reply)
I wish.
Talk about 'dream job'....
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:26, Reply)
No-one's making you cycle next to the kerb (English spelling, please note)
If you want to ride in the centre of the road with an ever-growing tailback of irate, horn-honking motorists, you are perfectly welcome so to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Will I be, then?
Then I wont' have irated pedestrians, I'll have irated car drivers. It's not a good swapt, don't you think?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)
no sex on the internet?
what have I been abusing myself to all this time?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
A Damart catalogue?

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Yeah, you should ask yourself that question
What have you being doing? Eh? Feel the shame!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)
I've never been told off because I always behave impeccably

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Chinny reck-on.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)
Seriously, I get dazzled by the light blaring off my halo sometimes I'm so fucking well behaved

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)
Chin on, sunshine, Jimmy Hill.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:53, Reply)
Do kids still do that?
My favourite was taught to me by an ex's daughter, it involves sticking your tongue in the bottom your mouth, putting your hands by the side of your face and bringing them out in a 180 degree arc whilst making a 'mmmnnnnggghhhh' noise.

The girl who taught me that was sentenced for attempted murder a fortnight ago, trufax.
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:58, Reply)
They don't.
Sadly I fear I am almost alone in my usage of 'Jimmy Hill', 'chinner' etc these days.

I'm just biding my time, waiting for my little one to be old enough to learn 'the lingo'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:00, Reply)
I haven't used it in a while
But I shall bring it back.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I tell you what else is due a comeback
the word 'skill'
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:10, Reply)
I think you might be right

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:13, Reply)
Damn right.
That's a fucking skill idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:15, Reply)
I watched Knight & Day the other night and he said
"June, you got skillz". It was cringeworthy.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:20, Reply)
Ah,
but that’s a wholly different use of ‘skill’. Incidentally why the fuck did you watch Knight and Day?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:24, Reply)
we have unlimited cinema cards
so we can see as many films as we like, that one was the most convenient for time. Plus I thought it looked entertaining. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't great.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:56, Reply)
she sounds like my ideal woman.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:16, Reply)

fill yer boots
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:31, Reply)
My ex tries to tell me off on a daily basis,
for being a feckless and impecunious wastrel, and all-round SHIT DAD.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)
want me to punch her for you?

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)
I'd prefer you to cut her tongue out with a pair of rusty scissors, please.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
done and dusted.
I'll make them the safety scissors too, just to make it a bit more unbearable for her.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)
won't stop her texting.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)
I'll lop off her thumbs with a cigar cutter.
problem solved.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
Good thinking, Poppet.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:58, Reply)
That does seem unfair. I strongly suspect that one of those descrptions of you is incorrect.

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Yeah! I'm not a fucking dad!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)
oh man, totally told off this morning by the boss before I even GOT to work
splendid day this will be innit
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)
Did you he phone you to tell you to stop touching yourself
or you'll be late?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:02, Reply)
"K Swizzle?"
"Take that dick out ya mouth and get your hiney to work!"
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:06, Reply)
nah
more like "WHERESMYFUCKENOILTHEMANSSTANDINGHEREWAITINGANDITSNOTHEREYOUBETTERGOSTRAIGHTTHEREANDGETITANDGETYOURASSBACKHERE"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:06, Reply)
I was tolled off once.
I love campanologists.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 18:40, Reply)

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