Cake
Discuss
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:31, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't like Battenburg

( WormuIus, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)

ok for chess
nothing else
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)

unless it is an apartheid sponge

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:36, Reply)

...Oh no
I love it
Oh yes
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

battenburg is horrible
as is marzipan in general
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

on this
we can agree
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

even if our educational
views differ, and I assume so does our newspaper choice :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Marzipan is good in small doses
But I guess you have to like the taste of almonds
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

is a made up drug
is a lie?
( Peej, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:36, Reply)

You forgot
or death?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

An amateurish mistake

( Peej, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

It's a fookin disgrace

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

You beat me to it.
If someone had to, I am glad it was you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Thank you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Lemon drissle cake is surprisingly nice for a cake that isn't chocolate based

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I really don't like chocolate cake
never have. I'd much rather have a fruity sponge or a victoria. Never fruitcake though, blarg.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

damn hungry now

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

What about coffee sponge?
My nan used to make an awesome coffee sponge. I tried to make one a few months back, it failed HARD.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

coffee is pretty good
as long as you have a nice coffee buttercream in the middle as well. I need to make a coffee and mint cupcake and call it an Aberracion because she suggested it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Coffee AND mint?
those crazy Spaniards
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

:(
I suggested that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Lemon drizzle is awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I want some NOW
(and your spelling looks much more correct than mine)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

We used to get it made for us by a old woman at our church
She'd cover the top in sugar just before she wrapped it, so the sugar would half soak in, making it a little crunchy at the top, fookin magnificent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

my mum used to make one like that with the crunchy lemon sugar, it was beautiful

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Em's mum makes one just like that
She made a red velvet cake too, which uses beetroot to stain the sponge a deep purpley-red. It was gorgeous!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Church?
With your reputation?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

The 13th Duke of Wynbourne?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

in a nunnery?
at 6am?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

When in Rome
*grins*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

when in Rome what?
fuck nuns?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

It's the end of the Fast Show quote, isn't it?
I didn't see any fit nuns when I went to Rome. All wrinkly mingers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:07, Reply)

ah I see
I'd forgotten that bit

doesn't surprise me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:07, Reply)

I did promise a female friend I'd find her a cute, wealthy young Italian guy
Too bad he was a priest.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

that's part of the drizzle you spastic
you poke holes into the cake from above, mix lemon juice and sugar together and pour it over
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

That's what I thought
Actually, my precise thought was "Hang on, aren't they all like that?"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

i once had a banana flavored cake for my birthday
i'm thinking this is the way to go every year from now one
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Oh cake
don't get me started. I am so going to be the Cake Queen and all across the land they shall talk of that legendery cake of mine.

Maybe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I was telling my friend aout your rainbow cupcakes the other day
He was practically drooling. I think I'll have to point him towards your website when its up and running before he drowns in his own saliva.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

THE CAKE IS A LIE

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Do you even know where that's from?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

the internet.
and portal.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

It's from a game called Portal.
end credits: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Portal 2 looks amazing
And infuriatingly difficult too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I am really really excited by Portal 2, more than any other game in a long time.
On the GD2010 videos, there is some sort of lazer-slide thinggy which everyone seems to have missed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 18:18, Reply)

I know.
I said. And I know the song from the end credits as well.
I do not need educating this time dear.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

You edited you fucking LYING WHORE!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Calm down, calm down.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:45, Reply)

shut up roota

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I edited before you posted cos I remembered where it was from.
so FUCK OFF DICKSPLATT insult credit to Vipros
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

You're dead to me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Whatever.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Have you played Rock Band?
You can play the Portal song (Still Alive) on it, it's dead catchy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I remember slumped in a sofa watching SexFace, Moohaala and Hexy do that
it was surreal.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Which one was singing?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I honestly can't remember.
At least I think it was it was that lot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I don't know the other two
Therefore it was SexFace who was singing, and he was swaying from side to side like that blind black fella.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Hexy's an internet sensation.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

an internet sensation fit.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Never had the pleasure
a /talker I presume?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

/board and /links occasionally too
He's actually hexachordal.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Ah I rarely read /board
But I do peruse /links.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

i was subjected to this too :(
but it was sexface, gonz and supermatt on drums
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

And sexface was singing, yeah?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

yer i think pauly was doing some sort of guitar thing
i was in my happy place
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Nope
I have no games consoles.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I'm actually a little disappointed.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Sorry.
:(
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

That's ok
I still think you're alright.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

yay :D

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

whereas I get the ignore
for thinking Tool are a bit shit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

that's because that is a worse crime than genocide

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:51, Reply)

it is a cat-astrophe

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Shut up bert.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Delicious
I'm going to make some when I get home and I have my own shiny kitchen.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Lemon drizzle cake please
or Victoria sponge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

But victoria sponge is so dull!
Although I made a nice one the other day that had pimm's soaked strawberries in it instead of strawberry jam...
(berk, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I'm quite dull :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

My god that sounds delicious
I love Pimms.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:14, Reply)

It was made of win
as well as the usual flour, eggs etc that cake is made of. I promised Lab some chocolate brownie at the next bash - perhaps the one after that I'll bring pimms cake :)
(berk, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Cheesecake is teh NOM
Vanilla, strawberry, raspberry, all of it is delicious.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

On my sixth birthday
My mother made me a train cake: several carriages and of course a superior engine section.

Whilst larking about in the grounds of Cheltenham College, my brother and I were running along the top of a wall. Two foot drop onto springy turf one side, 10 foot drop onto concrete schoolyard (J5 lolz) the other. My brother was in front of me; he bent back a protruding tree branch and pinged it back at me, sending me flying through the air, headfirst onto the concrete.

When I got out of hospital my brother and his cunt chums had not only laid into my cake without my being there - but some fucker had eaten the engine.

Remember when I said I never forget transgressions? I will uncover the culprit and there will be severe repercussions.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

A cat did it

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Bert:
putting the 'pony' into 'one-trick pony' since 1978.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I was born in 1987, so that's quite some feat
As musch as I would like to be this 'Bert' you all seem to have so much affection for, I am not him.

I am RBF Esquire's secondary account
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Sign in as your primary account and post here.
Or forever be Bert.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

it's certainly "pony & trap"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

THAT WAS MY JOKE!!!!111!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Monty & Bert sitting in a tree
B-U-M-M-I-N-G
First comes love, then comes marriage
then comes Monty sucking Bert's cock because he loves him so much and can't get him out of his head
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

You wish, Bert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

It is annoying an frustrating to be called by the name of somebody you are not
over on /links tehy think I am about three people, on /talk they think I am baldmonkey, I am not them, I am not Bert, I am The Cat Hater
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Lying post is a lie.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Hello Bert

(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Well you can't have your cake and eat it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

damn. beat me to it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

The truth please Monty
It was Cheltenham Ladies College.
You were Thirty-Six.
You were larking in the grounds wanking in the bushes.
And i'll assume "cake" is street slang for MASSIVE DRUGZ.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

OK you got me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Bless Mums and their birthday food indulgences
My Mum once made the party sndwiches into a chess board (using brown and white bread, cutting them into small squares and laying them out in the appropriate pattern) and put the chess pieces o them. We also had mice made fron tinned (I know) pear halves with currant eyes and liquorice tails. That was considered sophisticated round our way.
(Cave Duck, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

That's really rather sweet, isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

The pear syrup?
It was rather.
(Cave Duck, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

oh man cake with all that icing and jam and sauce and cream and shit on top makes me fucking gag
im not a big fan of cake. or any of that gungy stuff its smeared with, i just dont fucking get it
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I do a well nice jewish "Lemon Lushous Cake", it's a soft sponge that I stab with a chopstick and pour lemon syrup all over it, and it's better the next day.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Strangely
I had a cake sale at work today to raise monies for charity. It was ace and tasty, but I could really do with some sleep - minor kitchen based disaster meant I went to bed at 3:30 this morning.
(berk, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

oh man
I think last night I dreamt a nice recipe. I don't normally do cakes or sweets and stuff, but I came up with tiramisu caramel cheesecake.

nom
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

*drools*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

damn right.
I'm going to have to develop it.

my cookery has been going very well recently. I'm going to set about making turkish bread tonight.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Make me some!
Also, what is turkish bread?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

It's a sexual position
Involving two or more men, prison showers and soap.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Hahah excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:18, Reply)

if it goes well then I will at least distribute the recipe
it's a nice sort of bread from Turkey.

I can't remember which variety it is I like though, so I will have to make both pide, or ekmek
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Them turks sure do know how to make a nice bread.
They have one that is a bit like tiger bread that's my fave when out in cyprus. At the turkish shop behind me, they do loads of breads, it's an amazing shop for a non-chain really, 100s of different types of pickles, really good fresh veg, a butcher in there too which does everything from chicken breasts to sheep's heads/balls/eyes.

For tonight's thing, I got some tomarto'n'cheese flatbread, but you've just inspired me to go there to see if they have a good flatbread that isn't Pita.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

That sound nom
and so much nicer than my dream(s) involving some kind of zombie apocalypse.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Your dreams would be nom if you were a zombie.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I wish I had zombie dreams
I would fucking love that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I have them all the time
they are good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

I can't remember if I've ever had any

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I have about one a week.
They're brilliant, but they all end in the same way, with the zombies winning and me being the only human left.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I am actually jealous now
You've recovered from your lack of console owning.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Fuck yeah.
I wish I record them and send them to you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

That'd be awesome, but I'd be shouting at the telly
"Nooooo! Don't walk away, confirm the kill!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Haha
I'd have to make sure just to record the zombie ones though, some of the others are really fucking weird.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Please
Nothing ruins a good zombie flick than it suddenly cutting to you worried because you haven't done your French homework, and everyone in school's laughing at you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Or having to undergo experimental treatment to regrow my arms cos they got cut off
Because I went the wrong way in a booby trapped castle.
Only the treatment goes wrong and horrible tentacles grow out of my arms instead.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:24, Reply)

I think you're having my share of awesome dreams
I just tend to get chased, get in fights where I ineffectually swing my arms, and have all my teeth crumble in my mouth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

teeth dreams are anxiety dreams
I think I'm getting your share of weird dreams, because I dream every night about truly bizarre things
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:30, Reply)

AmberI and Applebite
I hereby demand I get my weird dreams back.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Not a chance matey
I love them. I just found my most recent zombie dream in my dream diary, it was awesome.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Dammit!
Just one zombie dream a fortnight, please?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Mmmm maybe.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:37, Reply)

But that's why I don't enjoy them (I never win)
Do I ever dream-up some weaponry to defend myself? Do I bollocks.

One particularly vivid nightmare had me trying to destroy the stairs in my house with an axe so the zombies couldn't get me, but I couldn't do it quickly enough and they burst in and grabbed me.

I woke up screaming.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I've never died in mine.
They always end in me hiding somewhere or still on the run.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Last nights little adventure ended with me stuck on a roof surrounded by zombies
If I were capable of lucid dreaming, Keira Knightly would have rescued me with a helicopter, but i'm not.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I can sometimes,
But only just before I wake up naturally. Not so much when my alarm wakes me up suddenly
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:21, Reply)

You poofter.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Manly screaming
Rarrrr!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:34, Reply)

One of my housemates
made a superb cake for my birthday a few weeks ago. I don't eat cake very often, but I thoroghly enjoyed that one.

It's her own birthday at the end of this week, and unfortunately I have a poor track record with cake-making and have no idea what to get her as a present.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Get her a strap-on.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I'm going to speculate wildly
and assume she already has one
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

hahaha
...and give it to her with a wink, saying 'I think you know what to do now, love'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

"I know how good you are at baking, so I thought,
as it's your birthday, I'd buy you an implement which will enable you to sodomise me..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Baking tins.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

A strap-on that can also be used for baking is the obvious solution

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

So one that is hollow and heatproof
such that it could be filled with cake mix and the contents baked using the warmth of my somebody's rectum?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:07, Reply)

You could then give this to her saying "I've baked a birthday cake in my arse for you, happy birthday"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I just burst out laughing at a most inappropriate moment, you bounder.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I've just tried to sketch such a 'tool'
Sadly I can't think of a design that might work.

If you can come up with one, then I suggest you go on Dragons Den and pitch it. It'll be what women want. You can get that sour faced woman on the panel to try it out whilst you chew the fat with the blokes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I don't think I'd want to eat anything like that.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I'm going Zumba dancing in 10 minutes
anyone been?

btw I can't dance
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I can't talk

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

The only thing about me
Is the way that I walk.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Shame on you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:21, Reply)

As soon as I read the last line
I had that song stuck in my head. I had to pass it on.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Like genital herpes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:25, Reply)

cerebral syphilis

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:26, Reply)

sounds like one of 'your' bands.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

It does a bit
They'd go down well with Revolting Cocks, Throbbing Gristle, and my mate's band We Cum Blood.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I like Throbbing Gristle (and Psychic TV) a lot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Genesis P Orridge went to Hull University
As did John McCarthy, both of Everything But The Girl, Sarah Greene and Anthony Minghella. There is a tree in the city carved to commemorate Anthony Minghella, I think I should start a campaign to have one for old Genesis. Though I'll probably have to wait until he's dead
(Cave Duck, Mon 23 Aug 2010, 17:43, Reply)