Morning, cunts.
Nice to see the Metro restaurant critic has also observed what I've been saying for fucking ages: that fat greengrocer Gregg (sic) Wallace from Masterchef simply repeats what his (actual chef) colleague says, for a living. In that respect (and I would imagine few others) he is like Sen Dog from Cypress Hill, who I always felt had the easiest job in hip hop.

Who do you feel in the public domain is the worst culprit for getting paid vast sums in exchange for doing FUCK ALL? I can tell you from personal experience that Ed Simons from The Chemical Brothers contributes almost nothing to their act, but he only gets paid 20% to Tom Rowlands' 80%.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:42, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you totally thread stepped on me. *sniffs and deletes now useless thread*

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Also - i don't really know enough about the public domain.
being from very small town Aus and all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I have behaved appallingly.
Please accept my sincere apologies.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Apology accepted.
now buy me some chocolate, Bowie-loather.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:50, Reply)

aww... tear. lol. I would hate that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Bez.
I think we can move on to another thread now.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I was just gonna say him.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I worked with a girl who said she slept with the baldy Chemical just before he had a brain heamorrage

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Do you think the two events were connected?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:49, Reply)

I'd put money on it...

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:50, Reply)

She did usually seem to repel cock
(albeit deliberately) and the next minute it's one of the Chemical Brothers, out of the blue...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:53, Reply)

I smell a lie...

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

She was one of those people who odd things happened to all the time
So she was either 'one of those people who odd things happened to all the time' or she was a massive liar.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:56, Reply)

probably a massive liar then.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I love massive liars
not the horrible little lies that ruin friendships, but the massive ones that have no motive, like "my dad's in MI6"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

like little kids.
they come out with some fantastic whoppers.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

In a bag and everything.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

ooh topical

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

She told us she was friends with Mo Mowlam's nephew and that the reason she wore a wig was because
she'd been going steadily bald since her 20s and was now "completely bald".
Erm, not so...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

oh god yes
they are funny, whereas fiveskins* are just monstrously annoying people

*people who have to always have to go one better be, if I have a foresking they would have a fiveskin
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Used to live with one, what a cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Pearoast
Fiveskin
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

thats it spot on!
looking forward to Menorca? bet you were happy the strike threats got sorted
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Damn right I'm looking forward to it!
Thankfully we're flying from Birmingham, which wasn't affected, but it's good that the strikes are sorted because then they'll be less people in the airport (as the other airports will still be open).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Hahah foresking beats a fiveskin, surely?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

my friend slept with Jeremy Beadle's son
I laughed for ages, I don't really know why. I'm snickering now, even though he's apparently quite hot.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

did he have a manky hand as well?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I bet it made her minge look huge.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:59, Reply)

and his cock if he wanked with that hand

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:00, Reply)

It wasn't hereditary. I asked.
Everyone asked.

She also managed to get the drummer from Chesney Hawkes' band when he played their student union. She had breakfast with them the next morning. I was pretty jealous
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

of having breakfast with them or shagging him?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

having breakfast with Chesney obviously!
He's Chesney Hawkes, Chesney Hawkes! Or perhaps Alice Beer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Football players
A daft kickabout with a load of other benders, hardly worth £200k a week or whatever the fuck they get.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:51, Reply)

How much
we they get paid is disgusting however they don't set their salaries.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:55, Reply)

exactly
it's not their fault people are willing to pay them that much. They're hardly going to turn it down.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Yes, and the same goes for most of the cunts mentioned in this thread
Chris Moyles for example isn't gonna knock back a salary as fat as his stupid fucking face. I thought it was about salaries, not whether or not the cunts in question chose it themselves.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I loved watching Jonathan Ross getting knocked down a few pegs though
I hate him so I'm pleased that he's had to accept a big paycut.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I love it when most celebrities get knocked down like that
Cunts, the lot of them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I disagree
They get paid based on how much they earn the club in sponsorship etc. If you made the company you worked for millions of pounds every year you would expect a great salary. They could sit in the middle of the pitch and masturbate furiously and as long as they made their clubs millions they would deserve the salary. Its also worth noting that its only a very select few that get paid these massive salaries. Its like actors. A select few of them will, simply by appearing in the movie cause it to make millions more, so in turn they get paid a higher salary. But for every well paid actor there are thousands waiting tables to pay the rent.
( Peej, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

This actually makes me feel slightly better about it
I always thought they just got paid dickloads for kicking a ball around, I didn't realise about the sponsorship stuff.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Not public domain but I employ someone on a basic of £110k and he's a lazy cunt. Problem is clients fucking love him.
He's going at some point though. Definitely.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Employ me for half the money
I'll do twice as little
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:55, Reply)

I see your point about Sen Dog
but I raise you Flava Flav, a man who for years lived on a cyclical basis - he was paid enough to buy the heroin that made his "contributions" to Public Enemy's excellent repertoire so amusing, despite possessing no discernable talent other than the ability to ramble amusingly whilst doped up to the eyeballs.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I refer you once again to his reality TV show Flava of Love
which is the most entertaining reality show I've ever seen, albeit there's not much competition out there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Can't say I've seen it
Having caught a single episode of Bret Michaels' Rock of Love I couldn't do it to myself. Yes I know Bret Michaels is an almighty prick
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

ooh I've never seen that one
I've only seen Flava of Love and Tila Tequila's Shot of Love! I'm missing out!

There was a particularly irritating psychobitch from Flava of Love who has her own TV show which I'm dying to watch, but it's only on Sky.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Ms Foxtrot developed an unhealthy interest in the Tila Tequila thing
I didn't mind so much. There were lesbians.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:07, Reply)

It's brilliant
just brilliant. She's so trashy and it's just such a dreadful, dreadful show that it becomes mysteriously compelling. The finale of the Shot of Love II is the best thing I've ever seen on reality TV; the girl she picks in the end waits until the final moment when Tila says "I chose you, will you be my girlfriend" and she's looking all smug and fake demure because she thinks that this girl is going tp jump at the chance, but instead the girl says she's changed her mind about being a lesbian and wants to leave now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Dammit
I actually want to see that now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

it's probably available somewhere on the internet
since she started out on Myspazz.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I was MySpazz friends with her
Before she became famous. A mate of mine in Canada modeled at car shows, and met her there.

I would though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:06, Reply)

she's so crass!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I wouldn't take her home to meet the folks

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Fuck that.
The best reality TV show is Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Featuring a selection of American never-heard-ofs, Dennis Rodman of looking-fucking-stupid fame, and DUSTIN DIAMOND! Or, as he is better known, Screech off of Saved By The Bell.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Chris Moyles
I understand that this walking tumour is paid around 800K a year for being an unfunny shouty ignorant twunt. I could do that job for a much smaller fee.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

you could definitely do the unfunny part

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:00, Reply)

zing!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

So basically O'Hara your thing is just to agree and pop up when I'm foolish or being ridiculed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:05, Reply)

That's everyone's thing
and it's not just you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I hate being the spasmo in the room!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I love it
it means my mantle has been passed ;-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

that I don't mind terribly.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

You're all heart
*punches arm*

*runs*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

no, you are still a spasmo
and everyone hates you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

this made me officelol
and now I feel bad.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

good use of "spasmo" - this word should be used more often. You spasmo.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

credit to Bobbychomp

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Shitbag
*runs away crying*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

thought you would have got used to it by now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I'm here a lot
you get ridiculed a lot.

It's just maths.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

What she said
Welcome to my world
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Why are you selling me short I am very confident I can do ignorant and obnoxious as well.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I think he's funny.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

What Chris Moyles?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Yeah, he makes me laugh.
The people who don't think he's funny probably don't listen to him.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

He was ok about 10 years ago when he did the early breakfast slot from 4am - 6am. He's just become so egotistical now I can't listen to him. His C4 show was dreadful too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

this

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

He is shit on telly
I agree with that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I don't listen to him anymore as he stopped being funny.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I like his show too
He doesn't deserve all the credit for its success, it's the dynamic within the team that I enjoy most.

I appear to be agreeing with Chompy

*slits wrists*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I don't really listen to Radio 1
but when I have, I just find him hit and miss. Occasionally he comes out with gems but other than that he just seems to hammer on about the same point that he thinks is funny, but if you didn't find the original point funny then him repeating it 15 times over an hour is a bit irritating.

I find him very irritating on game shows and quiz panels. And he was really mean to the ginger one from Girls Aloud saying she's really ugly, which is pretty hypocritical of him!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

you have summed up my view
thanks for saving me the effort :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

we're on the same wavelength
that's why our marriage will work.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

that is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

took you long enough, I was already plotting how to avenge myself!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I had to phone a client, sorry

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Each to their own...
I was exposed to his breakfast show a couple of years ago when I was driving up to Bedford with my supervisor. My supervisor seemed to find it funny, but I just found that the endless drone of this fat cunt telling dull and unfunny stories, in which the only hope of reprieve was a record I already loathed*, to be utterly insufferable.

*That bloody I Kissed A Girl song was in the charts at the time, I believe
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

He doesn't shout
Whether or not you find his show funny is another matter but he does not shout.
You're confusing him with other DJs in that 'breakfast show' style and making assumptions.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Any of those 'socialites'
Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Katie Price etc.

They literally don't do anything except perhaps churn out a reality TV show once in a while, most of which is drivel.

They need to fuck off. There are enough vapid bints in Hollywood who call themselves actresses, they don't need ones who can't even claim that.

See also: the entire cast of Jersey Shore and The Hills.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Most?
All, surely?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Er, hello?!
Have you not seen my celebrations of Tila Tequila's Shot of Love and Flava Flav's Flava of Love?

See: also Shipwrecked.

I normally hate reality shows, I especially despise Big Brother, but the love ones were really funny and Shipwrecked was mostly about watching a beautiful desert island.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Nick Clegg.

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:04, Reply)

if you use Twitter then have a look at twitter.com/NickCleggDeputy nice piss take.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I've just been asked by someone a couple of bands higher than me
to do some minor updates to a presentation.
What they actually mean is do 9/14 slides and then make the other 5 look less shit.
I won't be credited.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

sneak a credit in there at the end
they might not notice until they do the presentation.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

a credit the rapey-squid picture
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Make them flash purple cocks in a subliminal manner.
You're a clever chap who can do that sort of thing.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Of course I can do that sort of thing.
I'm also sooo clever that I do realise that'll be a stupid thing to do.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

mine was a reasonably sensible suggestion!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Nah, it's better for these two to owe me a favour rather than try to let some PCT know who I am.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

but maybe you should take the risk and then the head honcho guy will be all
"you've got balls. I like balls" and he'll make you his chief (insert what it is you do here) and you'll get a company Honda and black Amex and stuff.

Maybe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

what is that balls line from?
I saw it on something the other day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I'll give you a hint:
AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I thought that might be the case
"No Gary, I'm not from Hollywood"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I read that and thought "What an odd question"
then it occurred to me that yes, I have.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Well fuck off then,
I was going to be nice to everybody today, and see what happens?

Back to normal for me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Michael McIntyre
I promise I'll put down the whip and step away from the rotting horse carcass eventually, but this continues to mystify me. The man is categorically not funny, his shows consist of pointing out things we already know, he's like a middle-class Peter Kay. Easy humour for stupid people. The only time he's ever made me snicker was with a joke that Ricky Gervais did - better - five years previously. And yet he earns thousands as a professional comedian.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

He is truly awful. Gangrene is funnier.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:07, Reply)

And you don't have to pay for it
Or listen to your friends - people you previously had respect for - banging on about how great gangrene is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I saw him on Live at the Apollo and I thought he was really funny
I don't get why everyone hates him.

Peter Kay sucks balls though, I just don't get his jokes. Probably because I'm not northern innit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Peter Kay seems to do only one routine again & again with slight amendments to it each time.
I like Frankie Boyle's stuff and Frank Skinners. Maybe I only like comedians called Frank?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:15, Reply)

I think Frankie Boyle is trying a bit hard to be offensive now, which is a shame
I don't like his stand up because he just repeats the best things he thought of from Mock the Week, so if you've seen Mock the Week it's just boring.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I agree in principle
but he was always the best thing about Mock the Week and a lot of the stuff he came up with is still funny on the 6th or 7th listen. Plus there's a lot of audience interaction on his stand-up DVD, plus the stuff the BBC wouldn't let him say.

You are right though, he's a naturally very funny guy but he is trying to offend now. Shame.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I think he tries way too hard now
The best thing about Mock The Week is the possibility that Ed Byrne might be on there, being all fit and stuff.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:26, Reply)

and hilarious

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

that too
I care about substance. Sort of.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

coincidentally
I have a friend who contrives to look exactly like both Frodo and Ed Byrne
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

So he's just growing his hair then?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

he has the same face

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I would like to meet him.
As long as he looks more like Ed Byrne than Frodo.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Please tell me it's the Irish accent
Cos otherwise I'm forced to conclude that you have no eyes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

What?!
He's gorgeous, he's got that sexy geek thing going on. The Irish accent is just icing on the cake.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Absolutely not seeing it
Glad you have a thing for sexy geeks though. Would you be prepared, in my case, to overlook the "sexy" part?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

No, that's fundamental to the sexy geek part
I'd say it makes up about 50%. Otherwise I'd be attracted to fat WoWers. Like psychochomp.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Bollocks
Why do so many women insist on men being sexy? Fucking inconsiderate if you ask me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Agreed. Took me ages to find someone who likes short fat angry blokes with grey hair.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

are you Chris Moyles?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

shooting stars send up of Peter Kay was brilliant. should still be on iplayer.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

link please

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I think one of his problems is that he is so mother fucking cheerful.
Nobody should be that happy for hours on end. He manages it, by counting money during his act.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I didn't get Phoenix Nights either, I just didn't get it at all
I don't like Flight of the Conchords either, which is apparently an unpopular opinion.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Have you tried not watching them?
It works for me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

yes, that's currently working very well for me
some silly bint I know has the CD in her car though so I had to listen to it, and her singing along. It was that really annoying foo foo french song. She's a really bad driver as well so it was just an horrific journey.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Take a CD of Monty Python Sings when you next have to travel with them
Then you can sing along to that. Claim passenger's privelege.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

haha
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I was quoting, you realise?
have you run away?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I was so tempted to simply respond with "OK!"
but thought it might be a bit crass, even for me. Also I assumed someone else would do so. I am astonished that you had to reply to your own post inviting all of us to sit on your face
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I feel so rejected
is this what it's like to be you?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

There are many more facets to my personality than a permanent sense of rejection
If you could incorporate a general air of underwhelmingness and a curious mouldy odour you'd be close though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

the music from FotC was good for the first series
because they wrote the songs first. Second series is shit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I quite like Business Time
and that one where he says the ladies are checking out his sugar lumps, but other than that they're annoying.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

the one about Robots is great
and "If you're into it" I can take or leave the rest really.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

Boom King?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I don't really like that one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Ricky Gervais is a cunt.
an unfunny cunt.

as for McIntyre: "his shows consist of pointing out things we already know" - That is most comedians. Unfortunately many of them aren't funny.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

As a general rule.
Any comedian under 60 years old, that one's mum likes, is crap.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Ricky Gervais doesn't deserve having that podcast called The Ricky Gervais Show
it should be The Carl Pilkington Show
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

C K

I realise this is incredibly pedantic, sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I don't really care enough about him to learn how to spell his name Dorth.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

This is a bold tactic
from someone whose first name rhymes with Shitty
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

My real name rhymes with Slut
I think I can handle it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Amazingly, I hadn't thought of that
The extra "T" was obviously distracting me. Must be why no-one ever thought to insult Mr T
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

having that podcast called The Ricky Gervais Show to live
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

harsh
you'd make a good emperor.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

You're half right about Gervais
Even if he'll never do anything as good as The Office again, that alone is enough for me to take at least a passing interest in his work. And his first two stand-up DVDs are well genius. He is a cunt though.

And yes, I accept your point about most comedians, but the difference between the funny ones and Michael fucking mcIntyre is that the former group provide a different viewpoint, whether that be pointing out an intrinsic irony that we may not have thought of ourselves or putting a surreal spin on matters a la Eddie Izzard.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:34, Reply)

the thing with The Office is that he is that much of a twat
it wasn't clever writing. He is a complete wanker and just ramped it up a small amount for the show.

I hate him so much.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Rubbish,
the office was brilliant writing, there was nothing like it on TV at the time, and it was seriously smart, embarrassing and very funny.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Fucking hell
I agree wholesale. In fact that's exactly how I'd put it. What the hell's going on?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

it was clever
but I'm with Vipros on the idea that Gervais is just naturally a massive cunt and that was what gave the show it's edge- the fact it wasn't acting/a script but a genuine arsehole
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I think my overwhelming dislike of Gervais has skewed my opinion somewhat
I find everything about him objectionable.

The idea behind the Office and a lot of how it was executed was very good, I just can't stand him. At all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

try the American office, it has Steve Carrell in it :D
*disclaimer - I haven't seen either version so I can't compare the two.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

the american one isn't actually too bad
it's different in that the manager guy is just completely stupid rather than horribly obnoxious.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I agree
my friends got me tickets to his fame tour for my birthday. I was so bored it was untrue. He is not funny at all.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

The Fame standup is his jump the shark moment
if you'll excuse the slightly clumsy appropriation of the term. It marks the point where his success had clearly changed him and he stopped trying so hard. I stand by everything he did prior to that though. And The Office is magnificent TV
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Maybe that was the point behind calling it Fame
maybe he was actually being very observational and displaying how Fame has changed him. Maybe it wasn't standup, maybe it was observational drama.

Maybe it was interpretive dance. Interpretive dance means you don't actually have to dance if you don't want to.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Don't get me started on interpretative dance
It's not dance, it's just twatting about in a floaty way. I'd like to see any of those poncey twats take on a decent Foxtrot. Now that's dancing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Never mind interpretative dance what about Soena Dancing

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

If anyone else gets this it ought to get you absurd amounts of credit
As it is, you might have to make do with me applauding you lots
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

You're far too kind, sir.

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)

This ^
The Office was shit and Gervais is shit. Its just fucking boring
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

^ this^
so much this. Said it for ages that the Office is just what he's like naturally, as can be seen in the other films he's done, where he is basically exactly the same
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I wish I got paid vast sums of money to do fuck all
on a football note you have to question how often Don Fabio must laugh all the way to his art collection getting paid a cool £6m a year.

I think Adam Crozier could do with all his assets siezed and forced to live on welfare the horrible oik
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Tory spin doctors,
they shouldn't have let this report be published www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11079496
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Well, I don't understand, maybe I'm stupid
but of course, a cut on benefits is going to be worse for the poor than for the rich. I'd think rich people wouldn't be asking for benefits.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

A cut in benefits is just part of a larger budget
They should make micro chips and beans cheaper to help the proles.
( Peej, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

That meant goverment help
they're trying to cut goverment costs, so I don't think that'd be a good idea.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

That and the VAT increase has a higher affect on the poorer people.
The point is that this isn't suprising, it's what the tories do all the time, they just denied it when they made the budget.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Well, if they don't cut benefits and increase VAT
What would you recommend them to do? Clearly, anything that the goverment does (torys or labours) to spend less money and collect more, is going to affect the poor people more. Rich people don't claim benefits, and usually have their money in banks where they don't need to pay high taxes.

To be fair here, I find it terribly unfair that I have to pay 40% (that's almost half of my salary) on taxes. I think it's a very high number and you don't realise how much it is because you've never seen anything else. So 40% of my very hard earned money goes to politicians; I think very little of it goes to pay benefits that are really deserved, I think most of my money gets wasted in stupid things. Do you think that number should be bigger? Really?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

If they spent 9 months closing tax loopholes
or even creating a law to say that taxation law is not there to be picked apart but to be followed not just by the letter but by the spirit in which it was written.
Secondly they should look at inefficiencies in government departments and waste. Benefit fraud is pretty similat in terms of total cost to internal failures in overpayments/payments to the wrong banks etc. They should sort that out.
Both those things would have no effect on 90% of the population but save billions, the problem is... they're hard, very difficult and very time consuming, the governments (both sides) are more likely to ignore them or "scrap the entire system" rather than tackle those problems.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Oh and you're not taxed 40% of your salary, you really aren't
you're taxed 40% over a certain level, first £6k not at all then at the base rate to another level and the 40% on everything you earn over £37,400
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Yes, I agree with you there
I wasn't considering all those things because, somehow, it seems they aren't part of the ecuation.

However, reducing wast and inefficiencis in government will mean make a lot, a lot of people redundant; which means a lot of money to be paid to those people, as civil servents are above everyone else.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

You can't justify employing people who aren't doing anything.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

OK
I completely agree with you, but before making them redundant, which should definetely happen, they need to change the law so they don't get paid massive amounts of money; because if they don't it's more expensive for us to fire them than keep them doing nothing.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Sen Dog = shout in background
Sounds like a great job to me!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

The 2 bald thugs who stood at the back in East 17

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:52, Reply)

You mean Terry and John?!
Leave them alone.

I loved them when I was a kid, it was only when I was about 20 that I looked back and realised they were massive chavs. That said, I will always love Brian Harvey for being the only person capable of running over himself.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

East 17 were amazing
STEEEEEEEAM
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Not the brightest though.
Anyone who can run over himself can't be Mr Intel Inside.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Comedy value though

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I ran over my foot with my car once
maybe twice *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

awwww

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

don't forget Do U Still?
hehe
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

They had names?
All they did was stand at the back and look threatening
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Threatening?
Gay?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

The worst kind of threatening...GAY THREATENING

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Ew.
Feels durty, and not in the good way.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

The OT page lied
It said this thread only had 49 replies. It clearly has a lot more, too many for me to jump in.

I am disappointed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

That's because Monty edited his post
BAD MONTY.

Start a new thread with some exciting question
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Effort
Plus I ought to go do some work, and I'm in the upstairs lab today.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

SHAME ON ME.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Go on
Start a new one I can comment. You could complain about trains. I'm very upset with the trains today.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Why are you upset about trains?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Too late
I posted a new thread. You can read it there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)