Still raging?
People, you need to calm down and relax and smile.

What do you do when you're very stressed? Do you shout? Walk up and down? Smoke?

I usually shout a lot, but it makes me worse. It helps me do exercise or watch something funny on TV.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:12, 234 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Drink. Far too much probably

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Massive drugs, wine and self abuse.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:15, Reply)

self child
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:54, Reply)

Smoke,
seethe silently.
Then pretty much forget about it within 10 minutes.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I usually curl up in a ball and cry like a little girl

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:16, Reply)

curl up in a

and cry like
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Strikethrough humour makes baby Jesus cry
is that what you want?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Tell the whining twat to MTFU.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

No way man, i've heard he's nails
(or was it that he was nailed?)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Haha tremendous

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Ta

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

drink, smoke, shout, drink some more, have arguments with random people who piss me off & abuse Corden on Twitter. The fat cunt.
Then drink some more.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Tell him he's got piggy little eyes
the fat piggy-eyed twunt
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:20, Reply)

he walked past me on Dean St recently when I was outside the office smoking. I nearly stubbed my cigarette out on one of his many chins.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Viz wrote a good article
where ITV apologised for interrupting its meerkat adverts with "James Cordons World Cup Show"

I'm a polite guy, but I would have found it hard not to shout abuse if he had walked past me.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I saw that in Viz. Got every issue back to issue 6. Would like to get the first 5 but can't afford to.
It took considerable willpower not to maim him.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)

impressive willpower
I'm a tolerant individual and even I would probably have screamed CUNT at him
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Kudos on your collection
I have been reading it for about 20 years now, but i've only had my own place (and so the space) for 4 years now. I have filled up a couple of drawers with them now.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

My father
got into Viz when a chap started teaching at Winchester following a stint at Newcastle University. He borrowed a couple (they were more like a student rag mag than 'proper' Viz) and got my brother and me out of bed to see them - he is a very puerile man at times...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

puerile shurely?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Ooops
I cheated at Latin, that's my only defence.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:54, Reply)

My older brother got me into it c.1989
I do have a reprint of the 1st issue (its come a long way).

My favourite strip ever was "Doctor Poo" closely followed by all "Raffles the Gentleman Thug" and "The Drunken Bakers".
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I liked Christ on a Bike
and Harold and Fred: They make ladies dead
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I met a guy who claimed to have written the Harold & Fred strip
He was a northern solicitor. I didn't like him much.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Famous people on the toilet & rude kid are also favourites of mine.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

"famous commentators wanking on their wife's tits"
was a work of genius. My particular favourite being Dan Maskill "forehand ..... backhand .... forehand ..... backhand .... Oh, I SAY!"

Murray Walkers " AAAAND....THERE..... GOES.... MY..... JIZZ" was pretty quality, too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I liked the Tall Vicar and The Parkie in particular.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

My dad bought me my first copy by mistake - he thought it was an ordinary kids comic.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Really?
Really? No wonder you rage so much, all of you. You should follow Noel's advice and go out and walk a bit more.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:18, Reply)

seethe silently
smoke weed
listen to heavy metal
calm down
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Drink or
read a book. If I'm really stressed I'll rage inarticulately. If I'm super duper stressed I'll watch some Supernatural. Most of the time though I'm just a boiling pot of seething silence
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I love drinking and I love reading
but I find them to be mutually exclusive activities. Reading whilst drunk is horrible.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

thus the or
though I will have a coffee with whisky, or a hot chocolate with brandy while reading. That can be pleasant
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

The lines start to jiggle very quickly when I drink
God knows how Stephen King wrote whilst drunk. He did all his best work smashed off his tits.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I read a good Stephen King
the other day. I'm not generally impressed but this one was good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Which one?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

see below
generally the only books I rate by him at all are Lisey's Story, Cell and The Long Walk
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

"Salems Lot" and "Pet Semetary" are my favourites
Two books that actually manage to be scary
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Try the books he wrote under the pseudonym Richard Bachman - particularly Rage if you can get hold of it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

it was one of those actually
The Long Walk I think.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

That's a good one.
Rage is difficult to get - he withdrew it following the Colombine massacre. You can get hold of it secondhand though.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

My sister owns all the Bachman books in one volume
was Rage the one about the kid who shot his teachers?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

yes & holds the class hostage. Very good book.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:45, Reply)

wasn't that impressed
it was too unbelievable
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Children can be vicious & gang up on others quite savagely so I didn't think it was that unbelievable.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

too short an amount of time
and besides how the hell would that make someone's mind crack?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I think that character was already close to cracking due to having an alcoholic mother.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

hm didn't make sense
children are pretty resilient, and the abuse/what was done simply wasn't enough to make the boy crack
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I can't read when I'm angry
I find I've got to the bottom of the page and haven't read any of the words because I'm too busy going over whatever's stressed me out
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I take my mind right off it
I go and look at lolcats or filth or have a walk to the river or play Solitaire or something.
Then I come back to the problem and see what can be done.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:25, Reply)

you're the only one who has mentioned trying to solve the stressful problem
the rest of us just use diversion tactics!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I got to Tower Hamlets with knives up my sleeves
and pick fights.

In reality, drink far too much and have girly hissy fits.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I like shouting
IT IS STRANGELY SATISFYING
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Drinking when angry is terrible for me.
I inevitably become furious that I'm not getting drunk quick enough/not cheering up quick enough/whatever I'm cross about is stupid and I'm a pathetic child, at which point I drink myself into a stupour and the next thing I know it's 6am and I've just woken up in an alleyway covered in sick.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Ooo
Next time you're doing that let me know. Sounds fun.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

most things just make me laugh
but when i get reeeally stressed, which is only ever at work, it is best to be at least 15 feet away. as my trainee could testify, if he still had a head on his shoulders after this morning.

meanwhile my client has just rung me. "someone has dumped a load of cows and horses in my field, can you get possession back".

wtf... how the hell do you trace the owner of that lot, where's mr ed when you need him??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:30, Reply)

cows have ear tags. Get the # of one & contact DEFRA to get the contact details for the owner

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

interesting
thank you.

personally i suspect theft from an abattoir or something, in which case the LAST THING i want to do is send them back there... eek.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Sending bovines back to impending doom - not many of us get to do that at work. Impressive.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

oh don't don't don't don't don't, you'll make me cry
i really hope i'm wrong. but who else other than misguided animal lovers would just dump a load of livestock into a random field??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)

arm the cows
Cows with guns
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:34, Reply)

and horses
i like cows well enough, but i wouldn't cry over them i don't think. but horses.... who could kill/eat horses?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:36, Reply)

me
and the French
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:36, Reply)

And me. No fucking problem.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:56, Reply)

me. Had horse meat a few times. Delicious. Particularly rare. Yum yum.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

now that's some
unbridled opinion
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

reign it in

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

hell no. This is a forum for the unfetttered

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Neigh it isn't

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:40, Reply)

it is saddled with that image

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

that's a bit over the top

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

don't be so blinkered

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I think you're missing the mane point here

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

mindpiss

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

it covered my mane point

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

look at you all jockeying to post on this tangent.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

it's like we're all emotionally un-stable

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

you've got to hand it to us...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:48, Reply)

These puns are withering my soul.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

that comes as quite a (s)hock

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

what a sorry tail

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

hay now. stop that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

or what? We'll get hoofed out?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

they'll have to get over some hurdles to get rid of me.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

they'll have you on the first equestrain
out of here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:48, Reply)

tenuous but allowed on this occasion, one more like that could be the last straw

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I could dressage it up
as something better
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

do you have to saddle me with that?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

repetition

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Correct. I failed at the final jump.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I think cougar is outflanking us

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

You all need to stop flogging this dead horse

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I've been chomping at the bit for this for ages.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I don't think
it will last furlong
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

it will if we whip you in to shape

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

sounds like a bit of a 'mare

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

will nothing keep you at bay?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I pity the foal
who tries to stop me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

she's taking us for a ride.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

we'd better be bucking the trend, then.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

it's like I've stud-ied for this

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I can't(er)!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Right, stop horsing around, the lot of you.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

it is getting a little tack-y

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

oof. I'd have ba(i)led ...

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Has this thread stalled? Are you all just mule-ing over more horse puns?

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:03, Reply)

trying to find the (don)key for a new joke
but may risk looking an ass
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

what ever you do
tread care-filly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I'll sire no more puns then
we've got a fair crop already
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

the last few
were a bit pony
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I'm sure we can hack a few more in
before galloping off to the pub
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Which pub? One in Shetland?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

The Jolly Ostler, maybe.
Plenty of pure-bre(we)d ales there
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

the beer there tastes of sugar(lumps)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:13, Reply)

perhaps I couple more lame ones
before people eqwhine about the narrow posts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

You might get a shoe-ing for that

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Shire-ly not

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I agree, proceed Ginger (McCain) ly

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Yes it has started to Detorri-orate

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:11, Reply)

You could sell some of your puns to professional comedians
That would be a whole Newmarket for you to move into.
(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Better make you get off a-scot free if you nick any from here though.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

they ain't-ree
that good
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

time for a glass of (red) rum i think

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:20, Reply)

you can't have it each way
though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:21, Reply)

expertly placed, there

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:22, Reply)

exacta-ly

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I'm not tote-aly sure what you mean?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:24, Reply)

what were the odds of that happening?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:24, Reply)

well, there was a lot
at stake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:24, Reply)

depends upon what's on the St Le(d)ger really.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:25, Reply)

want a bet?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:25, Reply)

that pun was always on the book(ie)s

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:26, Reply)

it was a sure thing

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:28, Reply)

you could have easily forecast it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

I wouldn't want to
stirrup more trouble
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

I might have to hunt you down for that one

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:14, Reply)

that would be a drag

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:14, Reply)

You paddock

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Aintrees lovely, particularly oaks.

(Cave Duck, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:18, Reply)

not many (dessert) orchids growing there though

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I would
But I've never been given the chance.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Most the civilised world.
Pigs are more intelligent, you don't cry over them.

/you probably do.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

yes i do
i am hopelessly soft about animals.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I like this!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Gypsies may have - particularly horses.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:36, Reply)

BBQ!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:32, Reply)

this is why nobody ever wants to play with you
actually, it's not the only reason
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I think this is the best suggestion by far.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

what, as to why nobody will ever play with you
and you will die a frustrated virgin??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Wait a sec, first you claim that chompy uses israeli sea salt body exfoliator and creme brulay body butter... but now you claim he's a virgin.
C'mon 'swipe, sort him out with one of your slutty mates, you must have loads of them, I donno if Chompy wants a 'he', 'she', 'he/she' or 'she/he', I donno, he might want something different, but surely you've got some slag of a mate who'll teach him the ways of the harlot.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

What the hell do you do
If it was farming related that would be ironic considering our conversation this morning.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:33, Reply)

property litigation...
... hence the possession element
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

awww :(
I read possession and thought demons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Dammit woman
What kind of jokes do you like?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

er, any jokes
why??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Was alluding to the fact that you were a (farming) Northerner
whilst fully aware that you consider it partial racism.

I won't try and be funny again.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

oh
i think you are just too clever for me, that was where it went wrong!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Not likely
you work in Property Litigation and I sell stuff, online.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

True story, we just got about 1000 different plants in our field, all sorts of stuff, pomigranit, citrus, bugonvilias or whatever they're called.
It's about 1/3 of an aker (1 donom, for your turkish people), and was lined with the plants and had plants in different spots in the middle.

A week afterwards, a farmer came through with an entire herd (must have been a good 100 or soo) goats, and they killed half the plants.

We probably could have sued him, but at most we would have gotten was the goats and his house, which is not much more than a brick shed with no electricity, and we wouldn't know what to do with the goats.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

cook the goats. Tastes lovely.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

..."wouldn't know what to do with goats..."
satanic rites

profit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Curry the motherfuckers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Curry
Let them fuck your mother
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:52, Reply)

cuteoverload.com
or Pet Rescue if I have a TV handy

Or rage impotently and start a thread on an internet forum
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I listen to music
Or wank.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Or listen to wank music.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Like *insert Monty's favourite band*?
*sighs* I should pay attention more.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

pssst
Tractor
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Vippers just urinated on your tractor.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Angerwanks are tricksy, you can end up rubbing all the skin off.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

use more lube

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

TOO ANGRY FOR LUBE

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

you should have that as your sig

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

This is indeed a problem

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Could you imagine if Monty had an angerwank to Bowie
East London Gazette

"Man goes London Bye Ta-Ta in odd wanking death"
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I cannot imagine this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I have been in a state of constant fury for over two years now.
I just try to get on with my life whilst being massively fucked off the whole time. Sleep is the only break I get.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I like to think how different my life would be if someone else was my flatmate, sometimes it's someone from here, sometimes it's someone famous.
For example, if Chompy was one of my flatmates, he would take the medium sized room. I think I would get home from work before him, so I'll get dinner on, I think tonight he would like some kind of soup. We would sit around watching telly in the evening or going out for a drink, I'd get in with his friends and visa-versa. I like the idea of living with NHS staff, they're generally a good sort of people.

I think on the weekend we'd go to Crews Hill to look at the plants, but next weekend he'll be going back to his 'rents for his dad's birthday. I might have Julien 'round then, 'cus I never see him because chompy once called him a ginger prick and julien didn't take to kindly to that. But I would make sure Chompy is deffo going anyway. I'm not sure if I would rent off him, or visa-versa.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

rent suck him him
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Just for the record there, I was going for the creepy loanly guy look, donno why exactly.
It's not something I actually do.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Another creepy thing I did once, because I found it funny.
Was to look at friend-of-b3tan-friend on facebook, pick someone at random, look at their feeds/photos if they were public and pretend to know them and that it was all a coincidance. As a result of that, people didn't find it funny at all and deleted me.

sad times.

I sometimes wonder if I'm wired up differently in the head than most people, I think I might be.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I find it funny now that you've told me about it
but if it was me at the time I would be so creeped out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Heh, when I did it, I made up most of the details myself, like I would see a picture of them at the beech entitled "Me and Sarah in Thailand", and I'd concot a story about it being their honey moon and them having a fantastic Pad Thai.
It was more creepy when the made up stuff turned out not to far off the truth.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I have a coffee and go and do something else
if I'm stressed after work I make Wiggy take me to the cinema.

And dancing really calms me down as well, it's a great stress reliever.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I love dancing when I'm upset
Eating crisps or pizza make me feel really good, but then I get upset with myself for eating too much.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

cheesecake cheers me up when I'm sad
but food doesn't help when I'm angry. Dancing is awesome though, I tend to be braver if I'm angry, not sure why, but it means I can do the death defying tricks where I wouldn't normally dare.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:58, Reply)

did I tell you about my plan to make tiramisu caramel cheescake?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Films are good to calm down to
As are computer games, but only if you don't then lose constantly.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I love that bit in Spaced where Tim is playing Tomb Raider
and Mike goes "is she meant to be drowning?" and he says "depends what mood you're in"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Haha! Now I need to watch Spaced again.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Don't bother - it's really not very good.
I realise I am in a huge minority for thinking this - even my brother likes it - but the main female character is in particular fucking appalling. Shit, shit acting from her and a lame script trying to be 'cult' by referencing fucking Star Wars.

Actually has anyone got any de-stressing tips?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

You're entitled to your wrong opinion

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Thank you. I know that am almost entirely alone in holding this particular one.
That girl's stupid voice and face really fucking piss me off. The suggestion is that you might want to be mates with them - or see your own life reflected in theirs - both of which are so phenomenally far off the mark in my case as to render the entire programme pointless.

I just see 'stupid tossers acting like stupid tossers'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:26, Reply)

is that the idea?
that's not how I saw it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I believe so.
'God - I play video games too!'
'Oh God when they go to that nightclub it's just sooo fuuuny'
'comics are cool'
'they just referenced Star Wars - how cool'
'I like the way he's got a skateboard and smokes dope - that's so cool'

etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:28, Reply)

I don't mind her
Wouldn't though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:28, Reply)

She'd ring you up loads afterwards and not get the message.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:29, Reply)

That is spot on
Top observation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

No I actually agree with you, I hate Daisy
but I think the other characters make up for her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:39, Reply)

smoke weed
listen to Tool through headphones to the exclusion of all else
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:25, Reply)

De-stressing
Go for a walk in the sun.
Have a hot shower.
Gorge on nice food.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Shout at someone.
Use lots of swear words.
Add violence if desired.
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Hello m'lovely!
How are you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Eh?

( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Erm...
I was saying hello, and asking how you were?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

But that means you want me to respond...
aren't we at war because you're annoyed with me being all mean?
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:35, Reply)

You stopped being mean to me
And I love you too much to be annoyed with you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Of course I stopped being mean to you...I haven't spoken to you in a week.
Apparently I was 'always threatening violence'.
( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:38, Reply)

You were!
Anyway, must dash, love you!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

*wanders off*

( thealternativefact, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:42, Reply)

sometimes they make me angry
we got BoomBlox for the Wii and I have an unfortunate habit of throwing like a girl on it, so Mrs V was beating me at it. That made me angry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I agreed to play against Em at Wii Sport
She's had practice, I hadn't. I had to stop getting angry when she kept beating me at tennis or boxing, which wasn't made easy by her constantly laughing or shouting "HA! IN YOUR FACE!" when she scored a point.

I thrashed her at Golf, Bowling and with a belt though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

haha, your last line caught me by surprise :-)
I can't play boxing, I suck at it.

unfortunately my mrs beat me at Mariokart the other day. I was not pleased. I have to try really hard to hide my fury. She'd be shocked if she knew.

It's usually anger at myself though, particularly with Boom Blox, cos I just couldn't do it right, even though I have before. Fortunately I sorted it in the end, but she almost doubled my score :-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I suck at Boxing too
I try to be precise, but the punches go way off where I aim them. So I try flailing (Em's preferred tactic), but end up knackered, beaten, and having whipped myself in the eye with the nunchuck cord.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I tried Boxing on the Wii once
Nearly dislocated my shoulder.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:34, Reply)

this, but for Super Mario Bros when Wiggy makes me die.
And there's a game called geowars or something. So addictive.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

I know of it, but haven't played it.
Em and I also play WoW together, although recently she's getting insanely good luck with loot drops, while I've been unlucky for ages. Plus, because she's a Real Life Girl, a few guys she knows online give her items and gold, whereas I work fucking hard for mine!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:18, Reply)

play as a girl then
duh
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

oh man
I've got that, but have only played it two or four player with my mrs and some mates who are frankly retards. Having some bastard bouncing off your head at a crucial moment is massively massively annoying.

Played some Kart over WFC the other day, it was ace. We should have a race. Some mates and my mrs are up for it, so we should sort something out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:24, Reply)

sounds good, I think I'm going to be in on bank holiday monday if you want.
I think I've sent you my friend code already.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

yeah, that'd be cool
I'll try and set something up with my mates as well

we shall discuss this nearer the time. as well as how to avoid the inevitable clash between you and the current Mrs V
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

That could get awkward
Mrs V and Kitty battling on Rainbow Road, bananas flying, turtle shells careening around the track...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:30, Reply)

I was thinking more
along the lines of 'palpable and violent tension'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:39, Reply)

especially when I pwn her ass.
I hope she plays as Princess Peach, that will make it easier for me to dislike her.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:39, Reply)

she tends to play as Donkey Kong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Happened to me last night
Went on to vent some rage and ended up raging massively.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Same, but Monday night
Cunting sniper in TF2 must have been cheating, headshots each and every time, massive shitting pissface!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:05, Reply)

When in my old halls I used to wind up the students in wheelchairs, it made me feel better about my life.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Easy
1.Rage
2.Rant
3.Vent online
4.???
5.Profit!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:38, Reply)

4.
Carve up your ex, and harvest his organs.

Which leads nicely to 5
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Excellent advice
I shall purchase some instruments and be in touch with some shady types forthwith.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 18:01, Reply)

hmm when stressed / depressed I
Brood, smoke (not dope, just rollies) listen to loud music, stop drinking, bury myself in books, eat less than I should and do things I think are a really good idea but are in reality very fucking stupid, which leads to more brooding etc etc
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 17:39, Reply)

You should be pimping the bbq

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 18:18, Reply)

I tried
and 2 people dropped out :(

I did prod a couple of local b3tans who said they are coming, and might invite some neighbours as well they are a nice bunch and some would appreciate b3tan humopur
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 18:47, Reply)