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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Labs said something earlier about some guy's voice from the Crow
Whose voice makes you wet, a la Fran from Black Books listening to that guy who did Darth Maul's voice?

And whose voice absolutely grates on your like nails down a blackboard or forks on a plate?

Alt Q: I know I shouldn't antagonise the badger, but I can't help it. What are you doing this weekend?
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:48, 223 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My weekend plans haven't changed since I last answered this question 45 minutes ago.
As for voices that win. Mariella Frostrup has a nice gravelly tone. So her. Her or Simon Bates.
(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:52, Reply)

I really love that silly little teenager's voice from The Pretty Wreckless
she's about 17, but she has a really awesome voice. She proper loves herself though.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I'm not familar with The Pretty Wreckless
The music of todays youth doesn't speak to me anymore.

I'm old.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

She's pretty fit. If you like them young and slutty with birds nest hair.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYeGw-bo430&ob=av2e
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I saw Mariella Frostrup in the flesh a couple of weeks ago
She hasn't aged well.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I have a thing for ethereal female singing voices
So listening to Sarah Cracknell (from St. Etienne) and Blondie gives me the raging horn
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:53, Reply)

This^
Debbie Harry circa 1979 for trouser threatening tumescence.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

on a slightly related note, Madame Poulet is suffering thanks to a week of lecturing duties
And she sounds like Edith Piaff with a sore throat.

Win.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Piaf's rendition of Hymne A L'Amour
is a truly beautiful performance.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Madame Poulet's rendition of the shopping list
is also something to behold right now.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I'm getting hard just imagining this

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I'd like to hear her read the shipping forecast
or as Alan Davis puts it "and now...the chicken forecast"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

^ This
Set up a concealed recording device and tell her you need some melons, cucumbers and whatever else Nigella Lawson would normally blither about in a seductive fashion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

oh man
Nigella's voice is pretty excellent
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

NIgella is the sort of woman I would like to kidnap
lock in a basement chained to a wall, and secretly father a small family with as if she was my daughter.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I'll drink to that
my mrs can't stand her. Don't understand why, normally she can understand why I take a liking to the women that I do.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

^ This is so wrong...

...it's "as if she were my daughter," for fuck's sake!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

well played

(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

In which case
I might venture a recommendation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

not ethereal enough
I want MOAR ETHEREAL
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Ah. You might be one of those awkward sods who prefers
their first vocalist. Let me know when you start tenting.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Yeah, I reckon I could rub one out over that

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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Louis Armstrong. It doesn't make me wet, but you would feel that you could achieve anything if you had that voice.

(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

No way! He sounds like he needs to cough.

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

But it has an unchallengeable depth and certainty about it..
Also, you're never allowed to watch jungle book again.
(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Oh god that's reminded me
My absolute favourite voice in the whole world is Shere Khan!
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Brian Perkins
He has a wonderfully soothing voice. Even if the content of the shipping forecast spells woeful news for people out on the sea, his calm, reassuring tones tell me that all is not so bad in the world.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I could listen to Michael Gambon for ages, I don't know why.
He's just soothing.

And James Earl Jones' voice is the sex.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

It's obviously something about deep, measured RP
that makes you feel as though it's ok, and somebody's in control of the situation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

And when they get pissed off and call someone a bounder and a cad you'll die laughing.
How's life?
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Alright, thanks
I have a sexy new bass and I'm off to see one of my favourite guitarists in concert tonight. Plenty of stuff I should be getting on with in the meantime but I can't really complain. How's you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Sexy musical times.
I'm ok, might be going to see one of my favourite bands of the moment tonight. In some weird symmetry. I should be reading and writing and researching but hey, fuck it. I can't be arsed :D
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I'd agree with this
I think it's because of Radio Four in my childhood
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Did you hear Brian Cox on Question Time last night - he has an excellent voice. I saw J E J in a play a few months ago - superb oratory.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Brian Cox the physicist/ex-member of D:ream?

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Or Brian Cox the actor from Dundee?

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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

The actor.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Yeah, Perko's the man.

(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I cannot stand the voice of that whiny wanker from the Manic Street Preachers
awful.

not sure about any that I find arousing. There are probably some but they aren't springing to mind.

edit: from what Crow has just posted - there used to be a woman doing the shipping forecast at about 1am on Radio 4. Amazing voice. No idea what her name is.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Where the fuck have you been?

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I was out all day yesterday and have been busy as fuck today

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

too busy for us?
*neglected*
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

unfortunately so
and from the end of october I may be way too busy, and for 3 days of the week just completely unable to be on here, although I may be away from home 2 nights a week and will have little to do, so I will probably be on here then instead.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:09, Reply)

but....but...
*lip wobbles*
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I know, I know

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Charlotte Green?
There was one who used to get letters from men on fishing boats asking her to slow down a little as they were finishing before she did.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

possibly
I got mesmerised by one once while driving home stoned. dangerous stuff.

That was probably round about 10 years ago or a little less
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Eep!
There's a Radio 4 newsreader with the blackest voice ever. It's beautiful. Apparently people wrote in to complain ut my dad and I love him.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I think I know the voice you mean
Why would people complain about him? He's perfectly intelligible. Or is it just because they don't trust nig-nogs to pass on information accurately?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

It's so rich and deep and so so so so so so so sexy
I would shag that voice.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Perhaps you should counter the complaints by writing in to tell him this.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

"Dear Black Man on the Radio.
Please put that tongue to better use and tell me I've been a bad girl.

Yours nakedly,

Aroused from Milton Keynes"
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:13, Reply)

~~aroused~~ Chompy
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Unnecessary strikethrough is unnecessary.

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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

this

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Hmm....
Good: Ian Curtis sings "Love will tear us apart"

Bad: Bernard Sumner sings "Love will tear us apart"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

oh yeah definitely. Voice nom.

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I like Shohreh Aghdashloo's voice
Dylan Moran's description of Ann Widdecombe's voice as "like a stegosaurus with its arse on fire" is pretty close to the mark.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Joanna Lumley's voice and Dusty Springfield singing "son of a preacher man"
I am going to Devon for the weekend.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:55, Reply)

ooh arr, etc.
I love really posh voices. There's a woman in my office who is freightfully pawsh, it's brilliant.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

My gf has a posh Edinburgh accent which has the power to make me tremble and spurt.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

that must be embarrassing when she rings you on public transport.

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I have adapted a mooncup and fixed it to the end.
Large size of course.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Like a great big absorbent cricket-box, basically?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Yep - it holds about a pint of my swimmers.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

You can at best withstand two phone calls on the journey home, then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Only if I have been drained recently otherwise it's just the one phonecall - any overflow and I get kicked off the bus
They don't like me on the Number 43 since an incident last year.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

How about a drain tube connecting to a clostomy bag in your jacket pocket?

(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I will look in to this but slightly concerned about reverse thrust if someone bumped into the bag.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Heh
Kitty's going to start making them and selling them to her dance students for when they "pole their hole" or whatever the term was.
(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Well, safety first. It's got to be painful if you get it wrong.
Though having such a large bulge in your hotpants might disconcert your audience...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Or it may make you think you're in Thailand.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Minjury!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I hate whiny voices and fake crying.
There are a couple of voices that make me gush, one of which is my ex's. His voice is lovely. And having dirty talk from a lovely voice... :D

Alt: Party on Saturday, probably shame and recovery all Sunday. And work. Bleh :/
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I hate Asshole Rose's voice. I wish he would die.
Work? But you're a student.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I started lectures yesterday.
SO MUCH SHIT TO DO.

I like Keith David's voice too. How are you bbz?
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

S'all good thanks
My corsetry supplies should have arrived by the time I get home so I'm going to make me a super sweet corset for the bash. EXCITING!

Student work isn't real work, although neither is admin so I feel your pain.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Oooh! What sort of style?
I might be dressing up as Tess of the D'Urbervilles this weekend. Exciting.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

like this:

Ooh that does sound exciting, make sure you take lots of pictures!
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Not quite sure whether I'll go wiht that though.
That corset looks motherfuckin' sexy though :D
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I'm well excited to make it
I just hope it doesn't end up like when you make something off Art Attack and it doesn't look anything like Neil Buchanan's.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Reasons not to skim-read: number 94 in a series
I am now cursed with the confused and frankly unpleasant mental image of Neil Buchanan dressed in the same attire as the lady pictured above.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Sometimes I just wonder what it'd be like to be you.

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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Ask your anal porn alter ego.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)

She's in retirement.
She had seven shades of shit shagged out of her.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

haha would.

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

My T-Rex costume would have been perfect
but sadly is back in Manc. Saddest of sad faces.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I'm really tempted to get started early and construct a dino costume for halloween
where it looks like you're riding a dinosaur.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

OH MY GOD YES
PLEASE DO

I might try and find a hobby horse and just go as the Trojan Horse.

eDIT: I said this and S.T. said "what, do you have 25 men inside you?"
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

having a party tonight, yous guys should totally come by
deep voices really do it for me
guy that plays Alcide in True Blood, oh yer...the growly deep sort. Aggressive. Hmm...think I need a lie down...
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

You should skype us all so you can have lots of little windows of faces sharing the party

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I actually don't have skype.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I tried it once but the lag did my head in.
How about we all take pictures of ourselves in party hats and you can stick them up around the place?
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:07, Reply)

oh man that would be SO AWESOME
then I'd put all the pics in my room and...
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

like a really shy way of having sex in public!

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

nothing about me is shy
I was just trying to make you feel dirty
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I think I'd be quite chuffed about someone wanking over me
It's like being told you're pretty.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Only stickier.
DG's bash gets more interesting by the day ;P
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

nope, couldn't bring myself to post what I thought just here...

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

+ off and take a picture ~~what I thought just here~~
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

close

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

tell me you feel dirty and wrong
it'll get me off faster
(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I feel so violated
how dare you degrade me like that!
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

bang bang

(

Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:53, Reply)

MOTOGP WEEKEND!

Woo! Weather looks shit so I won't feel bad about drinking white russians at 1pm and eating crap WOO
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I think it's a BTCC weekend as well.
Far better than your silly pizza-delivery boy races.
(

JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I spent a good minute or so there trying to figure out the acronym before I realise it was just Moto GP
BELM.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I take it you've seen this?

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Peter Serafinowicz you mean?
His voice on Spaced was fucking ridiculous.

My exes singing voice always sends shivers down my spine, rather astonishing. Also love Zoe Wanamaker, Judi Dench and Emma Thompson.

I hate that cunt Jamie Olivers voice. Also see: Lloyd Grossman, Andrew Marr, Liam Gallagher, Gina Yashere & Ruby Wax.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Yeah him!
I think his voice in both Spaced and on Black Books was silly. But I like his Darth Maul voice

I love Lloyd Grossman but only because it reminds me of that gremlin in Gremlins saying "it's fun, but it's just not civilised"
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I always forget that Peter Serafinowicz was Darth Maul
guy in my office looks just like him (not Darth Maul)
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:03, Reply)

hahaha
I lolled at Darth Maul standing at the photocopier, complaining about how it keeps jamming all the time.
(

Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

that would be awesome.
and funnily enough I was helping fix the photocopier earlier and he came in and chastised the person I was helping.

would have been better if he looked like Darth Maul.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Oi.
Come to London on 22nd.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I'll see what I can do
it seems unlikely though because I am really skint.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Bah.
So am I, but fifteen quid on return train tickets and a fiver for a couple of Red Bulls will do for me. Just looks like too good a bunch to miss.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

it's a shitload more expensive than that from here
even if I drive, and if I drove I'd get lost.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I'd keep hassling you
but I know you'll come if you can.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:26, Reply)

if it were only say £20 then I'd do it

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I feel your pain
my train ticket was £41
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:28, Reply)

If I could come, it'd be £13 each way
Stupid wedding :-(
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:29, Reply)

looks like it'd cost me £60 or more, depending on when I travelled
really can't afford that :-/

I will be at the catfaceceilidh wedding though
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Have you looked at coach prices? Often a lot cheaper than a train.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

yeah National Express
still have some one pound fares
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:45, Reply)

you raise a good point
I will look into this possibility
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

£5.50 each way if you're lucky.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I'lll chip you both some money for beers if you want.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

very generous old chap
but I can't stump up the train fare and associated costs at the moment and couldn't accept any more than the offer of a couple of beers, unless a mad cat-torturer decides they want to pay my mortgage.....
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I am genuinely gutted.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I am as well
the guest list looks marvellous. just another shitty part of being really fucking short of cash.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:37, Reply)

yeah you could've met me
with my real face this time
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm in the same boat
If it was a week later, I'd be able to make it, but it's 3 days before payday, so I can't!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Oh FFS I will advance you some cash, young sir.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I appreciate the offer
But no chance fella. I've been living beyond my means recently, and I've got to learn that sometimes I just can't spend money.
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

When you do learn this, please teach me.
My profligacy knows no bounds.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Ace. Can you lend me a fiver?

(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Yes sure.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:59, Reply)

a fiver?
Think big, man!
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:59, Reply)

It's enough for the new Ian Dury cassingle, that's all he wants.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Fair enough
always good to have some earthy humour in your life.

I take it you'll be on the drink Monty?
(

Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Jawohl.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Awesome.
I am, however, still off the social booze for the meantime. Thanks for the offer though - I might bring a cheeky smoke or two along for shits and giggles.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I'll spike your Red Bull with a powerful hallucinogen.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Careful, I find hippies irresistibly attractive when I'm tripping.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

~~red bull~~ quivering arsehole ~~a powerful hallucinogen~~ my throbbing member
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post890091
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:59, Reply)

hahahaha

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Listen to Noel. He knows what he's talking about.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I do though Monty, don't I?

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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

You DUN know blud.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Apparently he also did the voice of "Darth Chef"
at the end of that South Park episode where they bumped off Isaac Hayes' much-loved character.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:04, Reply)

He's far less annoying when he speaks naturally

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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Ruby Wax should be stoned to death. She is a weapons grade annoying shitcunt.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Definitely

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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

She's not as annoying as Joan Rivers

(berk, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Rivers is next up the scale from weapons grade. I think this grade is "ocean-going"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Patti Smith doing Piss Factory
I can clearly remember this having an effect on my trousers when I first heard it as a teenager. Though I'm not sure why.
(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Rosie Swash on the Guardian music podcasts makes me go weak at the knees.
I can't stand Colin Murray's voice. I hope he dies.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Chubby Checker's and Michael York's voices
both make me feel physically sick. I feel a bit dizzy and nauseated just thinking about the 'come on baby' bit from 'The Twist'.

I seriously cannot fucking stand either of their voices.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:10, Reply)

So you can't watch the musketeer films with Ollie Reed?

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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Nope. Nor Logan's Run.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:31, Reply)

that's a real shame
the musketeer films are magnificent
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I wouldn't say it';s sexy
but I find John Sergeants voice incredibly relaxing, and I have no idea why. Especially since he looks like the Churchill dog.
(berk, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Isobel Campbell
*rubs knees*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Additional:
Apart from the obviously loathsome voices of Jamie Oliver, Russell Brand, Lily Allen, etc., one voice which really does make my skin crawl is Gyles Fucking Brandreth.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Please add Gervais to that list.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Less for his voice than his mannerisms. But yes, I think he eventually got himself a place on that list.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)

this has reminded me
I watched Have I Got News For You the other day, an old one I think, and it had Victoria Coren on it. She is an annoying bitch, but by God I would break her in half. With my dick.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:17, Reply)

You'd have to pull me out of her first.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:19, Reply)

There's always room for two
Haven't you learnt anything from pornography?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Her brother is also on the list for his face alone
(She does look like a bit of a goer though, doesn't she?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:20, Reply)

she looks filthy
and like she needs to be slapped about a bit
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Needs? Or wants?
I think she wants it. I think she knows she's been a bad girl. And she'll tell you that. Every time you slap those pert, privately-educated buttocks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Trust me. She is.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I watched that episode even though I had seen it before
just because of that Coren woman. Thank you, you have reminded me to google her.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:22, Reply)

+ to find pictures to furiously wank to.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:23, Reply)

A good idea's a good idea
but the google images don't do her justice
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I hate James Corden's voice
it's just the wrong pitch for a man, far too high pitched and weak. Plus I hate him.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

So do I.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I know it's probably bad form
but Brian Blessed's voice really gets on my tits. It's become a caricature of itself and it makes me want to cave his face in with one of those old ceramic telephones.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Ooh, and lest we forget: Jake Thackray
What a wonderfully soothing baritone that man sang with.

Edit: Linky for those whose musical taste doesn't date back to twenty years before they were born
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Alan Rickman
has a lovely voice. I also like Stephen Fry's voice.

I can't stand Terry Wogan's voice
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:35, Reply)

God me neither. Fucking awful old padraic.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I feel horrible saying this
but I don't like most Irish accents. They sound blurry
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Norn Irish ones are repulsive.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I find this sometimes too & also feel bad about it.
I am quite happy to slag off other accents though for some reason.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

same
I think I feel bad because my family live there, and probably my littlest sister will grow up with a tinge of one, and I don't want to make her feel bad by saying 'your accent is shit, and you should speak proper RP' haha
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Elizabeth Fraser from The Cocteau Twins.

(Cave Duck, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Barely needs saying
but RANET REET RAWWWWTAAAHHHH has a rather unpleasant timbre.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

^ officelol
Right, I'm off. Enjoy your respective weekends, unless I don't like you, in which case I hope you have a miserable weekend and are struck down by botulism.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I'm not too sure how I just understood that...

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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Because all B3tards are psychicly linked
i'll prove it...i'm sending you a mental image of 3 kittens wearing santa hats...are you receiving it?
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I read that in a Scooby Doo voice

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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I can do an excellent Scooby Doo impression.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)

why doesn't that surprise me?

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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Righ dunno!

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

HA HA!
fucking hell
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Alright Drac?

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Yeah, you made me do an office lol
kind of messes up my stern office demeanour
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Sorry to have punctured the old gravitas, dear fellow.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:07, Reply)

No probs mate
everyone else has fucked off, but I still got the "oh shit!" feeling when I lol'd.

Got to keep up a certain image in front of the troops what-what...
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Quite so, quite so.
I simply will not do to have one's subalterns witness one engaged in an officelol.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Indeed old bean
if they thought lol-ing was acceptable I would have to fire the whole bally lot of them
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Lolling on duty is a fast-track to the firing squad in my regiment.

Now I cannot stop thinking about these chappies:
www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/middle_ages/lollards_01.shtml
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

As it should be
Wellington had the right idea when he referred to the rank and file as "Scum of the earth"

On Monday I must ask the directors permission to shoot the woman who does the typing, her mind hasn't been on the job since she turned 60.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:22, Reply)

A judicious cull, I'd say.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Right, i'm orfff
Have a good weekend
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Goodbye.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Everyones fucked off
and I've just come back, woe is me = '' ((
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:37, Reply)

That makes me the unpopular smelly kid
Christ, it's happening all over again
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:38, Reply)

I'm here, Rory, don't panic.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:39, Reply)

*Hold me*
as an aside I've spent most of my day in traffic in Hackney and I'm not best pleased
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:41, Reply)

And me!
*waves*
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girlinthehole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:40, Reply)

*Jazz hands*

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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Now what?

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girlinthehole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Dunno, I've still got most of my days work to do = '' (
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:45, Reply)

That's shit.
I thought you lived in Manchester?
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girlinthehole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

I'm like a knacker
I work between London, Manchester, and Dublin. If you need a tarmacced drive I'm your man.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Don't have a drive : (
Sorry have to go. Dinner awaits.
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girlinthehole, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Needs more Rs

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Well you're here to help with that. You're the biggest Rs on the internet.

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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:14, Reply)

*applauds*

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:33, Reply)

I'm in late on this one
but Jos Homme from QTSA and them crooked vultures. Especially the Them Crooked Vultures album

/melts
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Oct 2010, 17:59, Reply)

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