I've had 4 pints so far and am starting on a 5th. What are you having this evening?
Answers may include food, alcohol consumption, anything sexual or anything else you have "happening" as I believe the kids say.

Alt: Spit or swallow?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:38, 159 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A nice cup of tea.
/Mrs Doyles

Swallow - spitting is rude and spreads germs.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

A lady should always swallow

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:40, Reply)

I am a lady.
*curties*
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:41, Reply)

*bows*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

Why sir you seem to be slightly innebraited.
*looks unamused*
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

slightly
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Why would you want to spit your tea anyway?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

if there was no sugar in it
or something surprising happened
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Sugar in tea?
What is this madness etc
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

nonsense
half a teaspoon makes all the difference
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Are we talking about semen or suger?

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:00, Reply)

salty tea is minging
the place I went to college had salt and sugar bowls next to each other. This is how I discovered this fact
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

I'm not drinking unitl friday.
Then I have a feeling I won't be sober until monday.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

um....nothing?
play time with my pup
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

toffee cider
swallow - I never worked out where one would spit it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

Back in their face?

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

nice idea
will try sometime

you are responsible for consequences
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Back in the letter which taught me to give head it says that if a boy doesn't warn you he's about to come
you should spit it in his face.

That guide has served me well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Hell yeah!
Forwarned is forarmed.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:47, Reply)

how is he meant to tell you
can't you tell by tumescence?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

If a guy's getting head then he is going to come.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

but in my experience
it changes shape/hardness a little just before. That's when you either move away or brace for a mouthful
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

As I've said before....I'm usually concentrating on technique to notice.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

i go for more 'hands on'
as my mouth is too small and my gag reflex too delicate
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

Roota has discovered a wonderful way to ban the gag reflex.
The toothbrush teqhnique.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

??

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

When you clean your teeth push the toothbrush further back until you get used to it.
Then a bit further and further etc
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:02, Reply)

Cool.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

I'm starting tonight : )
If nothing else it will mean I'll be able to shove my food down my mouth faster.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

any tips for making your mouth bigger
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

My teeth have gone wonky
Leaving me with a bottom tooth that will impede head giving. I think. I don't like it, anyway.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

A ball
If it works for goatse guy then it should work for you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:10, Reply)

I got it off e-how.
I cannot claim ownership.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 22:37, Reply)

What the fuck is that?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

Please explain further so I can print it out for the gf to accidentally stumble across & read.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Captain V has no gag reflex.
Unfortunately for him, I do.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:08, Reply)

In trying economic times that skill may come in handy for him.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Not always, no.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

I find it incredibly hard to tell
I have been having sex, have asked to change position for the boy to sheepishly say he'd come.

I dragged him onto the bed and did it again, obviously.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

that sounds like incredibly
polite sex
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

We literally didn't make it to the bed first round.
If I sleep with him again within about 9 months, I get a tenner (as my friend gets 50£) and my other friend gets his entire comic book collection. He was ashamed of sleeping with me again and doesn't take ribbing well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:01, Reply)

When I was 17 I had a huge houseparty 'cus my 'rents were away.
I pulled a girl who was actually really nice, but 'cus all my mates were taking the piss and I was inexperianced, I joined in in the cussing of her. I really regret that, she's a well nice girl in so many respects. She's a bit pudgy, which is why my mates were taking the piss (plus it was a mate's cousin)... but I really really don't care about a women's size (in regards to me going out with her) as long as she's content with it or it doesn't pose a health issue.

Now I'm quite a bit more adult, if I like someone, then I wouldn't care what mates say, the proper mates would just be happy that I'm happy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:28, Reply)

He wasn't ashamed of sleeping with me because I'm fat.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

O_o

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:04, Reply)

O_O

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

I always do it back in their lap

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

One girl I "spent some time with" spat it on the carpet.
I didn't take her to that pub again
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

What finishing school did she go to?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:14, Reply)

Slough comprehensive I guess.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:17, Reply)

I cooked myself a lovely stir fry
with fake chicken, mange tout, soy and spicy sauce and thin noodles. It was delicious.

I am drinking flat diet citrus Coke. I am completely unaroused and I am helping my flatmate with the optative mood.

Edit: Swallow. I feel it would rather spoil the mood to go and hawk up into a tissue.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:43, Reply)

WTF is fake chicken?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

Lumps of flavoured, textured Quorn.
Surprisingly nice. I prefer it to real chicken.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

I've now realised real chicken is better but quorn has it's place in a curry etc.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Silly Nigella got you back on the wagon, eh?
I prefer bacon to facon. Obvs.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

It's something I've grappled with intellectually for a while now.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

Say you don't want to eat anythign with intelligence
The average pig is more intelligent than a dog.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

But dog bacon is nowhere near as tasty

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

If that was the case I'd be roasting chavs by the fire.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

How do you know I is not a chav
Innit
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

They tend not to wear GIR hoodies.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:04, Reply)

I suppose next you'll be telling me chavs don't have degrees or jobs

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

duck

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:45, Reply)

Oh!
I see, I originally misread this as a reply about spitting and swallowing. I suppose gargle is also an option
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Hahahhahhahaha
"Careful love, if that hits your face, it might take your eye out"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I know I've posted this before, but it bears repeating
"And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro."
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:57, Reply)

it won the bad sex in literature award
a few years back, it's amazing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Where the fuck is that from?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

www.guardian.co.uk/books/2005/nov/28/fiction.awardsandprizes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:00, Reply)

"Oh, Lord," he cried out. "I'm a-comin'!"
lol
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

"less of a sauce, more of a glaze"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

WHAT THE FUCK
And so they made love together in the pouring rain, with Nurse Murray emitting a stream of girlish exclamations which seemed to indicate that she was enjoying herself. "Gosh", "Golly" and, as things moved towards a conclusion, even "Tally ho!"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:14, Reply)

I've not read them yet. But here's this years
www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortlist?intcmp=239
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:17, Reply)

I skimread, and lol'd:
"It is exactly as he imagined it – the hair, the lips, the hole – and he slips his hands under her wasted buttocks and enters her like a fucking pile driver.""
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:18, Reply)

Watching spurs get raped and getting high. Eating satsumas and I have a toffee apple for later.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Your idea of porn is a little off kilter.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

A 22 man gang bang and you all wonder why I like Darth so much

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

Baked pancakes filled with sweet potato and goat's cheese, it's a new Marks'n'Sparks thing and is actually really really lush.
I'm deffo buying this one again.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:47, Reply)

Oooh, that sounds nice.
How's life Gonz? Good to hear the job's going well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

It's really great thanks =)
Today they gave me something to do that I think they expected to get done by the end of the week, and I did it within an hour and they were all like "Woh".

They're going to launch something massive next year, like, really really really massive, it's got a 70 page documentation. We were chit-chatting about it, but I don't know the plans yet just the base idea, 'cus I started, but I came up with a few ideas and they were like "Already in the plan ,) C'mon hot shot, give me something we ain't done", so I said "How about....[something really off-tangent]" and they all laughed and said they'll think about it.

Although sad times, as I was writting this, I went to pull the fag out of my mouth and it stuck to my lip so I burnt my fingers on the cherry and snapped the fag in two.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

How's you doing?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Oh, that sounds excellent. Hope it keeps going well, wonderboy.
Fag-related injuries are never excellent though.

I'm not too bad, feeling a little better. Had a lovely stir fry and am now relaxing. Looking forward to seeing you on Friday!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:07, Reply)

Sweet =)
Looking forward to see you too !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

It's been a while
I don't think I even saw you in the morning of that horrible, horrible night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:11, Reply)

We did see each other, but not for long, I was there for Moo'ie's comment about the smell of shame... love a bit of dry camp humour.
But it's cool that I'll have at least one person to double-team for fags outside should it all get a bit much.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:16, Reply)

I hope you mean we can go for fags together, not that you'll fuck me with someone else in payment for fags.
Oh Mooie. I love that boy. I also loved the applause.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:17, Reply)

Heh, the first one =)
Yeh', deffo, Moo'ie is probs one of my fave offline b3tans out of the ones who I don't see reguarly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:19, Reply)

I'm relieved. No one is tasting my anal goods on Friday.
I loved JackHexy. My favourite b3tan couple by a long shot.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:22, Reply)

Good lass, if a little grimly put =P
Or if you do wanna do a bit of nooky, make sure it's someone you want to do it with rather than feel like you should want to do with... or something like that =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

I have my own bed, I won't be entranced by a bunk bed no more.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:38, Reply)

It's all part of the rich tapastry of life.
If everything was ace then you'd have no basis of compairsion to apprechate it or be able to handle it if it changes.

We've all had regret and drunken shags. I'm not one for one-night-stands, I don't mind them, but would rather something come out of it more than any phsyical acts.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Don't typically like ready meals but that sounds pretty good except it needs MOAR MEAT
how's the new job?
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Really ace, see above =)
I rarely eat ready meals, the bung-in-the-oven ones are generally not bad from Marks though, it's something I'd never make for myself and I'm quite enjoying it. I'm not to bothered by meat, I can take it or leave it. I like a good bit of meat, but if it's in a ready meal, the veg option is generally just as good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Glad the job is going well. I can't survive without meat at least once a day myself.
am looking forward to meeting you on Friday
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Cheers =)
I think I have meat most days in some shape or form. Looking forward to meeting you this Fri' myself.

What time are people getting there? I might catch a bite to eat first before I go in. Is this your first meet up? I find ones of this size can be a bit daunting, but after the first hour of awquard coming up of conversation, it all tends to pick up and before you know it you're chatting away and it's last orders.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:13, Reply)

It will be my first bash.
Monty has offered to meet up beforehand so I don't turn up on my own like the new kid at school who arrives halfway through term.

Not sure what time will be getting there - half 7 or so I guess - will let you know.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:15, Reply)

Cool, it's always good to hook up with someone you know before you first come.
SuperMatt, my old flatmate, was the one who got me into Offtopic. I really like him, but he doesn't come here any more. I'd been to /talk type stuff beforehand, but never /OT, didn't even post on here at the time, but everyone was very warm and friendly.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:18, Reply)

We are all officially excellent.
And not at all scary or anything like that. Oh no.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:21, Reply)

You gotta admit, it's a bit daunting for the first hour though, espesh on your first one, unless you can ally up with someone.
But everyone I've meet so far is quite safe, and some are down-right lovely.

I know there is a stigma attached to meeting internet people, but it's a great way of expanding your social circles, and with a place like b3ta I know that I could move to more-or-less any major city in the UK and have someone to hook up with.

It's very hard to meet people in this day'n'age, and this is a good place to do it =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Well said Gonz.
I've visited some cities that I probably would never have got to had I not planned to go there to meet a B3tan.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:34, Reply)

This as well :)

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

Ditto.
Went to Aberdeen a few times to meet up with an ex, there is no way I'd have done that under normal circamstances. Cov and Ely too.

Had 4 flatmates in the past/current/imediate-future from here too.

I ain't had a hollyday in yonks, might go on a bit of a tour maybe early next year =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:38, Reply)

Well your welcome here for a stopover anytime hon.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:40, Reply)

Ditto.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Ace (to the both of you) !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:42, Reply)

There will be a Greek feast awaiting.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:45, Reply)

Oh man, if I can help with some of the cooking, I'd really like that.
I was going to make some jewish pancake ball things for friday but I don't have time now. Tomo I'm off to a greek resturant with Rosalicious, there is a really nice place local to me that serves huge portions for cheap, which includes 'real' chips.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:47, Reply)

I was bricking it at my first one.
But I agree with you wholeheartedly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:35, Reply)

I am drinking hoegaarden and watching a recording of masterchef

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

This is a good way to spend a weekday evening at home.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:51, Reply)

I am having a bath and feeding a baby.
Alt answer: gargle.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

Classy.
Are you still in attendance on Friday?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Hopefully, yes.
I have been stockpiling breastmilk in the freezer for this very occasion.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

This is excellent news.
And shall be duly celebrated.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:04, Reply)

Aww, hows life on the g road? I am missing it terribly.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

It's so happening. It's so hip.
Stokes Croft is the new Hoxton.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:59, Reply)

Ha, you lucky bugger.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Stokes Croft:
One of the few places I can actually locate in Bristol.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Because it's officially brilliant

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Mostly because my friends live near there

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

You obviously have friends with taste
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:12, Reply)

yes, by the overpowering stench of tramp piss

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Making curry and drinking red wine.
Gonz will be pleased to know that the missus is currently rustling up baklava whilst pretending to be Nigella. She has just delighted in pummelling some nuts, and is now savouring drizzling some sticky fluid all over the place. Whilst rubbing her tits and looking coquettishly at the non existant cameraman.

/Alt: swallow. Spitting is such a waste of good wine, I feel...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

hahaha! she's actually doing that thing.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

Well, the making baklava bit is true.
The rest may be artistic license on my part.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:03, Reply)

Sitting in my flat
Nursing the fading remnants of a hangover. Last night I managed, after spending some time in a pub that serves cocktails by the goldfish bowl, to end up in a godforsaken industrial estate somewhere north of the M8 junction, walk for two hours in ever decreasing circles and finally happen upon a taxi once I was seven miles from my flat and attempting to walk there down a dual carriageway.

Tonight, for some reason, I don't feel like going out. I will, however, be having homemade lasange for tea.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

homemade food is the best option 90% of the time
better something more basic that you've made yourself than ready meals
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Hey!
My Lasange isn't basic. It's made of win and loveliness.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:02, Reply)

oops! Didn't mean you are a basic cook - am i pissed and meant that ready meals are shit compared to home cooked food.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

No offence taken ;)
Yes, nothing beats eating something you've made yourself.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

I have a cold.
It was actually flu yesterday, I think, as I spiked a temperature, but now it's down to congestion and coughing.

Add to that that the only beer I have in the house is incredibly cheap shit I bought at Trader Joe's, and I don't think I'll be drinking anytime soon.

I personally don't care if she spits it out or not, as long as she finishes me off properly. That said, I've never had a woman spit it out.
( Wanderer, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:02, Reply)

I have finished eating Massive Curry
And am about a third of the way down a bottle of red wine. It's rather nice. Nothing sexual but I'm sure I can schedule a massive wank later if you think it's necessary to complete this answer.

Alt: Well, if we're still talking about wine, then swallow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I think you should wank just to provide a complete answer

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

It might have to wait a few minutes - I'm currently replying to an email from my Dad
which is rather putting me off my stroke.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:08, Reply)

How was the Arse, in the end?
Or did you just keep it for posterity? (lololol)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:08, Reply)

I beg your ....oh, wait, no, I remember now
You mean this, don't you?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Yes, I meant that arse.
Did you finally get your tongue into it, and enjoy the subtle flavours? Or is the box still there, begging to be penetrated and torn apart?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:20, Reply)

The latter
I was hoping my old household might have enjoyed sharing my Arse before we all went our separate ways; unfortunately there was too much beer to "deal with," and so my Arse has since rested, almost forgotten, in a corner of my new room.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:22, Reply)

You're not going to get your Arse out in the Casa de Bumda, then?
Sensible boy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:23, Reply)

I don't know whether it still strictly counts as a House of Bum any more
now that the non-bumders outnumber the bumder 2:1.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:24, Reply)

You're bum enough for all of them, dahling.
Are you getting on well with them?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:25, Reply)

Yes, I am rather.
Getting on very well with the bumder and boyfriend. The other chap is perfectly nice but does seem very shy. Plus I barely seem to see him as we each appear to be out when the other is in.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:27, Reply)

Excellent to hear.
All's quite well here. We are living in squalor but it's entertaining squalor at least.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:30, Reply)

Things mellowed a little between Surly Turk and She of the Fiery Hair, I hope?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Oh jesus I don't think I've spoken to you properly in a while, shit majorly kicked off.
It's plateau'd now, but it's still a bit tense.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:34, Reply)

Yeah, thinking about it, I haven't seen you since your birthday
Where I obviously didn't get much chance to talk to you. And ST confused me somewhat by telling me I had "an honest face."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:36, Reply)

Thank god you left when you did, is all I can say.
Oh, Surly Turk. He's banned from going near many internet people. He says so many of the wrong things.

Feel free to pop over to the Hermit's at some point, or something of that ilk. At least I was still conscious and recollecting things when you left the Duke...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:42, Reply)

Yes, I might have to
Unless, of course, you wanted to head over to B'terse-a for a mouthful of my Arse. (As long as you promise not to use the word 'bumder' in front of my housemates. They haven't been fully exposed to my sense of humour just yet and I'm not sure how well they'd take it...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:47, Reply)

I'd love to try your Arse.
If you want, I'll try and find some cherry liquor...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:49, Reply)

you've read too many of those bad sex extracts!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:22, Reply)

I'm not keen drinking wine with curry.
Beer with curry ftw.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

^ this ^
same applies to Chinese food.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Ordinarily I'd agree
I was just rather in the mood for wine. In fact, while we're on the subject of amusingly-named wines, the one I'm drinking now comes from La Clape.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:20, Reply)

You'll be telling me you're using the good silver next.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:21, Reply)

Yep. And a straw.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:24, Reply)

Mango Lassi, if I have the option

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:21, Reply)

orgasms, multiple
And it depends. Variety is the key spice of life I reckon
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 21:50, Reply)

There are no tastebuds in your throat
So even if you don't like the taste, the worst is over. Less mess if it goes down the hatch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 20 Oct 2010, 22:40, Reply)