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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'd just like to say
BASH! BASH! BASH! BASH!

How good is it that it's bash day?

Alt: How bent are you that you aren't even fucking going?

You bent cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:10, 263 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
It is good.
I am going, yet this doesn't stop me being as bent as an Ikea chair that was sat on by Eamon Holmes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)
And then
we're going dancing, aren't we? I'm taking my dancing shoes with me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
Are we?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)
She's getting her bumders confused
I'm not coming, Abby!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
I know you aren't
But I've already danced with the crow (something you haven't done yet) and he promissed another one.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Now there's a euphemism I am genuinely scared of.
I don't want to know what 'danced with the crow' means - but I'll bet it involves dingy bars in Vauxhall and sore bottoms.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
Hahahaha
I hadn't thought of that. I don't think the euphemism applies with girls, but if a guy goes "dancing with the crow" I'd be worried about him.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
All I'll say is,
if you've packed your dancing shoes, I'm packing my lube...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Near the top......
Get a free tenner from marks'n'sparks for SkyHD people.

https://hdparty.sky.com/Default.aspx

I think I might actually do the party bit this time, Inception is ace.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)
It's very good. I'm very excited already
So much that my belly is all wrong again. Ay! Everytime I'm on a long train journey my belly gets silly.

So, this tavern where we're meeting, do they have good beer and food and that?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)
Good beer, yes.
They do food as well but the reviews are mixed.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I've heard the butch lezzas are to die for.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
So you think I should eat somewhere else before we meet?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Personally I don't always pay attention to reviews.
As people can generally be miserable buggers.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Yeah, I know that much
But I trust you dears not to be too miserable buggers when talking to me. So, anyway, I'll find somewhere to eat before meeting. I don't think anything on the pub will be good for my diet. Although after a couple of pints, I'll forget about the diet...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
You've only ever eaten in places reviewed by Monty haven't you?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Depends if you like eating 'minge' or not.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Oh, absolutely!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I'm assuming that they do standard-issue chips, burgers and such.

(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Probably, yeah.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
This thread was directed at me, wasn't it, Monty
But I can't actually be bothered with you today. Last night a B3tan offered up a slur on my character which broached the boundaries of acceptability. None other than the previously fine, upstanding figure of NOEL accused me of being the sort of man who would wear skinny jeans. SKINNY JEANS. I ask you. Slurs against my heterosexuality, face and personality are one thing, but that's taking it too far.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)
pistols
at dawn

skinny jeans are for girls and homos...
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
...and tough rock'n'roll types.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
...wearing Steve Hillage t-shirts....

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Hawkwind, today, actually.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
you should get that one with the wolves howling at the moon
that's well 'ard
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
The dog from EastEnders?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Monty in popular culture recognition shocker!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
I used to live with a woman.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

with as
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 13:29, Reply)
I wear skinny jeans.
I'm wearing some now. They were £150. I am a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
You really are

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Yeah, well, he who smelt it, dealt it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Erm, you called yourself a twat.
Cuntbeak.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Yeah, well, takes one to know one.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
I really want to see you in pain

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
You two
Get a room!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Two shirts - one closet?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
£150 on jeans?
thats a lot of money on clothes...
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
I don't think all the clothes I have
apart from 2 work suits, cost £150 all together.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
primark is good that way

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
I like the way all their clothes smell of children's tears.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
yup, gotta love those sweatshops

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
Oh, c'mon now

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
I misread that as children's farts
I don't know what's wrong with me.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
hmm, ok then

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Neither do I, but I think it's pretty serious.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
The only obvious remedy
is to drink far too much wine and become embarrassing.

I wonder when I'll be able to do that next?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
You're just wrong
so so wrong.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
I'm highlighting the plight of Primark's employees.
I've paid £150 so that my jeans are made by nice Italian children with the highest standards of welfare. I'm one of the good guys.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Probably
£149.99 of that money went to the designer, and then the rest to the makers. So good for you for keeping rich people rich!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
i think
all the time you've spent with long words has pushed the ability to recognise little words out of your head.

Let's try... cat
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Really?
You are saying that you're a twat? Wow!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)
Stop trying to distract attention
from your GENOCIDAL RACISM. It's not working.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Stop doing that, Adolf
It's going to be impossible to fake that you don't love me tonight if you keep flirtring in front of everybody.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
More into meggings then?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Even I don't know what meggings are
I assume it's a sort of male version of the hideous jeans/leggings hybrids sported by horrific women
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Just male leggings
And therefore they are very wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
It is fantastic
I shall be getting all dressed up in tight jeans and a tight shirt and a GIR hoodie (fuck you Chompy) and I shall be enjoying hugs and banter from around 19:35
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)
i'm not going
should i feel left out?

alt - not bent but thanks for asking
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)
WOOP!
I am totally getting ready as we speak!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)
I'm already ready!
Just have to endure work until 3:30.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I have to endure it until 3.00
But I haven't got there yet.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
I'm done at half two, but
I have been here since 0500.

Selling space to Aussies is fucking killing me. 13 hour days most days, plus 2 hrs driving, plus taking calls during the night on my cell.

I think I might have to consider a normal job soon before I burn out. It's already a struggle to do anything.
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Me too
But only until 12:30, although I have my appraisal in 1h.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Good luck with the appraisal!

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Thank you!

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Just keep the racism hidden and you'll do fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)
racists get a bad name
well, bad press
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
Agreed
What kind of thoughtless parent names their child 'Monty'
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
The sort of parents who know
exactly what their child will grow up to be like.
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Why? That's one of my strengths!
Did you hear the BBC4 radio show yesterday at 6:30pm? It was very funny and reminded me of you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
that was good wasn't it

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Very good
I was laughing all the way from the station to home. I thought it could have been Monty talking all the time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
What was it?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Richard Herring
It was brilliant. Teenagers truly are misunderstood.
(I helped save b3ta! disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
That one
I've decided to wear a hoodie all the time, as soon as I get one that I like.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
while mittens with string are cool

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
You are TGB AICMFP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
Mmmm...
I don't remember the name. But I guy started talking about why it's wrong to say "I hate all black people" but it was cool to say "I hate all people", in a humorous way. Very funny. He ended up proving that it's not so bad to hate all people, as long as you're not a racist.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Ah. Richard Herring.
Last week's on the Hitler moustache was very good, too - though I suspect that there will have been Letters (and the capitalisation is intentional there) after the jokes about mimsy-shaving and Hitler being in heaven...
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I missed that one!
I'll have to find it on the iplayer or something. Since Mark moved I've been having problems to follow the 6:30 program.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Did he take the radio with him?

(Cave Duck, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00vcptn
i think
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Would if I could my good man, would if I could.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I am just looking through my wardrobe
and deciding what to wear tonight.

And I'm staying in London for the night.

*keeps calm*
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)
I took a longer-than-average time to pick out what to wear
By that I mean I spent about 5 minutes deciding which tshirt looked best. I reckon I've got it wrong though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
This evening I will closely scrutinize your t-shirt

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

t-shirt six pack
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
*winks*
*trigger fingers*

You know it!
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
I fucking wish
It's currently hibernating under a protective layer of take-out pizza, laziness and MISERY.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
What is it with the men in this place thinking they're fat?

(berk, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
maybe they are?
i used to have a sixpack when i was too poor to afford booze, now i am fat and weak

damn you beer
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
But I've met Lab and seen photos of Maxi
and it's all nonsense, I tell you!
(berk, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
How do you know it's me
It could be a handsome stunt double
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

handsome stunt double
Maximinimus +n
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
That angry monkey
*seethes*
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Well, time will tell, won't it?

(berk, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
How dare he!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Plus it's kind of a running joke now with me

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Most of us actually are!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
26 years of being fat kind of makes me think it

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
I used to be dead skinny
Now I am decidedly not.
Plus, it's the media I tell you, making us out to believe that women only go for guys with washboard abs and perfect pecs. Just like women can feel pressured into mutilating their bodies to fit the catwalk model waif look.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Ahem

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Sorry,
"women only go for guys with washboard abs and perfect pecs" + and a massive cock
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
I'm fucked on the first two then :(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)
But the third...?

(berk, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)
has caused relationship problems in the past

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)
Same here!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
That, my dear, is balls
Most women I know might enjoy looking at that sort of thing, but would be decidedly intimidated by it in a bedroom-type scenario.
(berk, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Doesn't stop men having body issues
Like I do, just I'm far too lazy to do anything about it. I guess that means I'm not allowed to piss and moan about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Now I feel nervous
Be gentle with your criticism, please?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
I'm always gentle
It's my nature - too gentle.
Unless I'm at work and then I aim at being scary.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

at work drunk
scary horny
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Possibly a wing collar/waistcoat combo
or Scottish Highlander shirt for me.

And jeans obviously. And boots.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
I was in a suity mood this morning
but now I'm worried I'll be overdressed.


But not worried enough to go home to change. So, suit it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I like men in suit
You've done it for me, haven't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
Errrrrr...





Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Ta-ra

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
I'm not quite sure what I'm wearing is Lampito enough.
Hmm.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)
Get yourself up the joke shop then.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)
:( :( :(
It's quite demure.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)
That's your new style,
I thoroughly approve of it. Hence my lampooning of your 'mental clown' past.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Hey, you met me for the first time when I had black hair!

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Really?
The 'clown-fro' has traumatised me so much I can only think of that, when I cast my mind back. I haven't been able to go near a circus since.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Yeah, my hair was black but I had about an inch of light brown comign through and I looked like shit.
About a week later I dyed it purple, the roots took very well and the rest stayed black. So BLEACH IT WAS.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)
Can you be demure
whilst wearing a cape?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Ooh, I forgot about wearing a cape.
We'll have to see what the temperature is for which one to wear. AND SHOULD I WEAR A HAT?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Depends what colour your hair is.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

This colour. Faded a bit from a month ago, still fairly dark. And normal.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)
What have you got in the way of hats?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:06, Reply)
Purple felt trilbyish creature with black flowers, black toppish hat with veil, red cloche
and several large bows.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)
If you're going with the cape I'd say top hat.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)
Then I WILL end up circus, and Monty will cry.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)
But later you can call a hansom carriage
and cleanse the streets of Whitechapel.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:45, Reply)
Ha!
The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Olde London Town.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:49, Reply)
Lampitooooo

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Well you crazy kids have a nice time
Me? I'm going to the pub and the football and then the pub again this evening.

At no point will I be associating with Internet geeks.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)
All the cool kids *are* internet geeks

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Well, some of us anyway...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)
Not you , though, obviously.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)
You been to the post office yet?
I'd hate to get that package returned to me.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Haha no but I'm going in the morning. Sorry Jeff.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)
hahahaha
I'm VALIDATED with my use of second-class post!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
That you are.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)
Yep, that was the point.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
For some reason I am feeling slightly nervous about meeting you all this evening.
I am sure a few pints will sort this out.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)
Be afraid
Be very afraid.

only kidding, I'm lovely, so are about three others too
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)
Is there some form of bizarre initiation ceremony I need to watch out for?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Lampito will punch you

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Ha!
Lampito didn't punch me when we met
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
She didn't the first time round with me either
But she will...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
Crow will try and shove a pint glass up your hole.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
all i'll say is if you drop your wallet
kick it home
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
Sounds like I should wear slip on shoes then.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Yes
It involves removing your clothes and kissing all those present with a beard - men too.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
With tongues I hope.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
just remember your name badge and you'll be fine

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)
And your Simpsons tie

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I was going to wear my Star Trek tie*

* I do not own a Star Trek tie
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
Ooh, I do!
*Plans hideous outfit*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:46, Reply)
I'm wearing my Pratchett tribute hat
and replica stormtrooper y-fronts.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I am contemplating wearing a selection of Derrick Bird style leisurewear.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Very bent. That's mE
I'm in the dullest lecture ever
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)
whats it about?
i'm at work not writing a proposal
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)
It's called 'Why buying shoes all the fucking time makes you a 'woolly woofter' '

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Says someone with how many hundred pairs of trainers????

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)
That is ENTIRELY different.
Being a 'fresh-dipped B-Boy' requires a large array of vintage sport-shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Excuse me Douggie Monty Fresh!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I've seen Slick Rick live, at a breakdance convention.
He was amazing. Half way through his set, a scantily-clad woman came on stage with a large platter containing some extra jewellery for him to wear, including a medallion the size of a large dinner plate.

The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

vintage sport-shoes 6" high heels and red leather thigh boots.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
English as a foreign languag
Got to go no w have fun tonight cunts
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)
No puppets?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Yes, it's "Introducing Morality To Reception Class Through The Songs Of The Meat Puppets"

(Cave Duck, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I'm off now
See you cool kids later.

*MWAH*
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Just so you know...
I'm taking Labs home with me tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)
This could either be very good
Or very terminal.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:39, Reply)
I'm worried about you
be careful.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)
Woo someone cares :D
*smugs*
But yeah, I don't think Clendrix will kill me, and I could do with a bit of reconstructive surgery.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)
I will be lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)
You always are to me

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)
How could I not be?
Besides, if Wookiee and Badger are being all pally, we may have to team up and destroy them.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)
I'm game for that
I imagine, right this second, he's sat at the brunch table reading The Telegraph, while she's pouring him tea from the new teapot they picked up at that cute kitchen accessory store they popped into in Camden.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Going for my appraisal now
See you later.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Best of luck!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)
It's like the last day of term here today.
I imagine the bash will be like a school disco with all the boys standing on one side of the room and all the girls on the other, with the boys too shy to speak to the ladies.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)
you mean like the disco in footloose before they all start to PARTY?

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I wouldn't know, Zulu.
For, you see, I am a heterosexual man.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)
You that Kevin Bacon
AICMFP

I had to use google to find his name in my defence
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)
No you didn't. Chinny reck-on.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)
Jimmy Hill.........
Itchy Chin
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)
oh
monty how could you?

i am now sobbing like a small childmong that has dropped its lolly.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

sobbing like laughing at
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)
Hahah now pick up the lolly, pick the fag-butt off it and resume licking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Smooth line Monty.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Innit, blud? Ya get me?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)
if i had taken your advice
you would now be incapable of typing.

just saying, like.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)
damn you
for making me laugh at childmong
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)
sorry
so wrong but so right
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I prefer 'monglet', I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)
minimong

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)
The only bashing I'm doing tonight
involves a "member" of the clergy. But have a good time, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)
I'm more bent than a 9-bob note.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I'm more bent than a 9- bob note.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)
damn beat me to it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Cheers.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Alright Legless

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:09, Reply)
I'm not going
My excuse is that it is in London and I am in Cornwall with a Pregnant wife and 2 year old daughter.

Oh and I'm bent, a bent cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)
ooh
how long to go before #2 arrives?
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Why do you want to know about his bowel movements?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)
just concerned he's not suffering from slow digestive transit

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Mid March
Does anyone want the old one when the new one comes?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)
congrats, all the best with it

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)
Try freecycle

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)
I was bored, alright?
London calling to the faraway towns
A bash is declared - and b3tans come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the closet,you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us
Phoney Bertmania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we ain't got no thiing
'Cept for the ring of that Lampito swing

The drunk age is coming, the nerds zooming in
Bertdown expected, Monty's hair's growing thin
OT stops running, but I have no fear
Cause London is belming and Kitty, will fall in the river
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)
-standing ovation-

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)
*bows*

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)
Nobody's that bored.

(Cave Duck, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Script failed, innit
Plus I had the song stuck in my head.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Only kidding.

(Cave Duck, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)
a) the Clash are shit, and thus, by association so are you
b) grey yes, bald no, ye cheeky cont, ye.

I am rocking the Samurai style today. So watch out, pimps.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Eeee, I like your topknot.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:20, Reply)
I read that in a 'Hovis Yorkshire' accent.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
It's reet good

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)
I probably would have added "I do" to the end if I intended that.
That was more a squeal of excitement.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)
I don't like to spam images
So just imagine I'm posting that 7 Samurai one again. Think it's still on the popular page.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)
You 'spamurai' bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
Nice

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)
One of Bert's old accounts Bret Mong Keys Eggs is listed as attending the bash
Highly unlikely he would turn up I guess but I can envision him hiding around the corner and/or peering through the window feeling bitter & lonely.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:17, Reply)
Has he ever attended a bash before?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)
Yes. Apparently he is 'alright' in real life.
Alright for an incestuous nonce, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)
extremely unlikely he'd have the balls to turn up and if he does then he can meet Mr Fist.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
oooh
do you make that promise to all the ladies?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)
*cracks knuckles in preparation*

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)
Hey. Need a hand?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)
Be my guest.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)
You are like that character in Bugsy Malone.
You know, the one who kept cracking his knuckles. All he did was crack his knuckles. A right knuckle cracker he was.

I only wish I knew the characters name.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)
I have never seen Bugsy Malone so don't know who you're referring to.
Knuckle cracking is a prerequisite for fisting; maximum flexibility is required.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)
'Crackers' McKnuckle?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)
Hans Pfister?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)
Jointofdigitmanipulatedinsuchawaythatcausesthesurroundingairtomovesharplyandthisproduceanaudiblesharpnoise Smith?

(Cave Duck, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)
Wiki says the character was just named Knuckles and was played by Sheridan Earl Russell

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)
I met him at one
Didn't chat to him much, and I was quite drunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
Yeah -
He came to Davros' London bash in 2008. He's a nice guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

a nice guy an utter cunt who fucks his siblings
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)
I'm not an enormous fan of nonces
who repeatedly goad people about their sister's kidnap and rape, myself. Still, each to their own.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)
Who is bert?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
omg
just search for the name.

that is all.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)
Why isn't your name down for this evening? Too good for the rest of us?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:23, Reply)
she works in law and you lot might be a little low brow for her...

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)
well yeah naturally
but that's not the reason. initially i was hoping to be on holiday this week sunning myself, but i couldn't get the time off work. then my two best friends from work are having their joint leaving do tonight. which is not optional!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)
Why is everyone leaving?
What do they know that you don't!?!?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:37, Reply)
well.
this is a Very Good Question.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:55, Reply)
A b3tan who often took insulting people too far, using very personal information
Then claimed people took things too seriously. Also admitted to fucking his likely-underage half sister. Had a couple of massive breakdowns on OT, got banned, made a new account, got banned, likely has more accounts.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:27, Reply)
All in all
A Good Egg
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)
Fuck off Bert.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)
ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 11:31, Reply)
It is excellent that it is Bash day
Especially as I have the afternoon off.

I shall eat my Sammiches now and then go to the gym and then see if I've got time for a haircut before my train. EXCITING TIMES!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:01, Reply)
I hope they are 'nommy sammiches'?
I'm just checking - they are, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Chicken Tikka and salad and branston pickle
Fucking mint, mate. Also Red Hot Monster Munch.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 12:29, Reply)

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