mr b3th is working from home today
and I have just heard him, on the phone to someone, use the word 'flange'.

What is the best word you've heard today?

Alt Q: what is the cleverest word you know?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 15:59, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I find people referring to their partners as
Mr/Mrs [b3ta username] really annoying.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:00, Reply)

You find most things
really annoying.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I find exageration annoying.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:04, Reply)

As I said above
you find most things annoying.

Now you can say you find repetition annoying, and we can keep going like this all evening.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:05, Reply)

That's what she said.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:06, Reply)

She called you annoying?
Sorry about that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:08, Reply)

No, you're missing the obvious because you're a forrin
she said "we can keep going like this all evening" shortly before I said "I'm sleepy"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Oh, Chompy
You failed to start the explanation with "it's funny because..."

I'm so dissapointed (and that's what she said too)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Well played.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Learning from you
And as a sign of respect, I won't finish this sentence with a smiley.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

It's good to learn from the best
I'm once again at the top of /offtopic and /talks popular page.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I would.
I imagine you'll be paying me, and not me paying you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Rswipe will be paying us both,
that is if she doesn't consider you "a moose"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

What's a moose?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

www.statesymbolsusa.org/IMAGES/Alaska/MOOSE.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Well
I'm definetely not that, so go on.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

And, £50k each?
I want to see the money in advance.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Yeah 50k each,
I think it should be done by wire transfer to a swiss bank account.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Ok, well, we better do it before the wedding, as I have a lot of bills to pay.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I'm free saturday early afternoon,
come down bring beer.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

As I said
I have to see the money before. I'm not coming down to you for nothing.

(It's funny because...)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

wow
a quickie slot early in the afternoon (but you get booted out before the better offer he has for the evening) and you get to pay for all the drinks.

i think you'd better insist on £90k and he gets £10k, tbh!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

I think you're right
I'm sure I'll have to do all the effort as well. Do we need to come or is it enough with trying?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)

It's Chompy,
so you won't, whatever happens.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

depends how you define "sex"
i'm pretty sure he won't think that as the girl you have to come for it to count.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

this is not what i said
i said that i would pay you and crow if your idea of using flashcards as chat-up lines ever persuaded anyone to go anywhere within a 5 mile radius of your cock. which it hasn't.

no flashcards = no cash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Ah, I see
I knew it wouldn't be money for sex with Chompy, you aren't as cruel as that. But 5 mile is a long radius... are you sure they won't work?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Come down, I do some flash card flirting
then we have sex and I quit my job.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)

We don't have to have sex
I only have to get within a 5 mile radius of your cock. She didn't specify if it has to be a naked cock or not, and if I had to look at it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

but it's not the flashcards that have persuaded you to get within a 5 mile radius of him
it's the lure of cash.

so he loses and neither of you gets laid/paid!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Yes, that too
But I don't like him insisting we have to have sex when we don't really have to. All men would lie to their mums for sex! Bah!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)

we are talking about flashcards instead of conversation/being made to laugh/being bought dinner
my salary is perfectly safe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Hahaha
I can imagine them having a date and not saying a single word, just showing the cards :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Mrs tentacles agrees.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Does this stem at least partly from the fact that there is currently no Mrs Psychochomp?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I got two numbers on friday,
TWO
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:06, Reply)

0 and 0

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Relate
and the Samaritans
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:08, Reply)

was it so that you could repay them for all the drinks they had to buy you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:10, Reply)

How dare you!
Mrs Psychochomp will be waking up naked and sore in a hedge any minute now.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:07, Reply)

wow. Now I'm really sorry I have offended your delicate sensibilities in any way whatsoever.
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=52565
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:06, Reply)

The best word I've heard today was.
Megalomaniacal

I don't know any clever words.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I haven't really heard any good words today
nor do I know any clever words
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You need to talk more
with The Supreme Crow and Enzyme.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I would hope the experience would be quite pedagogical.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I'm sure it will be
I'm relying on you and your new words to pass my English exam.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Ah.
Then perhaps I'd better make sure I use real ones for the next little while. (NB 'Pedagogical' is a real word, fear not.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Hahaha
Well, thanks for that. The exam won't be until mid December, and it seems it's really very easy (look at this picture and describe it for 60 secs type of questions) I think I need to work on my pronunciation, though.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Actually, I need to work on my vocabulary
Not its breadth, but its retrieval rate. Frequently I find myself in conversation and suddenly stuck for the word I want to use - often quite an obvious one. I end up trying to think of the word, whilst another part of my brain searches frantically for an alternative, and all too often I end up using the latter, especially, as per Sod's Law, when it's not quite the right word for the job.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Oh, I hate that so much
Both in English and Spanish, but more in Spanish. When you finally give up and say the alternative word, with that feeling in your brain that no, it's not exactly that, there's a better one, and you're not using it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Oddly enough, I've had it happen bilingually
A bit like when you Google something slightly obscure and the third result is some Russian website, I have had a few rare occasions in which the frantically-searching part of my brain runs out of English options and returns with "I don't know, but this is what it would be in French..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Oh, yes!
It's well funny when that happens. I say it, hoping it sounds like an English word and people will understand... but they usually don't.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I get this all the time
I think it's just the ageing process starting to take it's toll...
(berk, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Don't talk like that
You're just a kid!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I'm only five years younger than you!

(berk, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Just a kid

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)

I don't really come across words that confuse me
unless they're scientific or technical terms. So I don't really view them as clever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Legumes, it seems
I got my friends laughing at me for using too posh words. Legume is not posh. They know nothing.

Good words? I don't know... I have to use flange all the time and it doesn't sound so bad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Were you discussing root nodules and nitrogen fixing bacteria?
I do hope so
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:04, Reply)

No, really
We were eating a stew, they were trying to find out what was on the stew, and I said legumes. I should have said beans.

You couldn't talk about bacterias or anything like that with them. Take them out the everyday gossiping and they'll be lost.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:07, Reply)

No way! You should hear what the nitrogen fixing bacteria said about the blue-green algae!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Really?
Go on, tell me, I'm dying to know, and it better be something spicy, because I think those blue-green algae are proper bitches.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Lahooti

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Tell me what 'Lahooti' means, and in exchange I will tell you what 'Haboob' means

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:07, Reply)

is it what they call a breast oop north?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Ha!
It also refers to a type of dust storm observed in arid climates.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Flange is a great word, I use it all the time.
It's an engineering term, but I often use it to describe office managers.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:08, Reply)

mr b3th (sorry psychochomp) is an engineer
so that would probably explain it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Face it - they were talking about 'lady-bits'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:15, Reply)

"Internecine"
a struggle within a nation or group. A civil war is an internecine conflict.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:08, Reply)

I work in a car garage in Virginia. Can you imagine how many clever words are spoken here?
Not many.

Turret is a favorite of mine.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:09, Reply)

*Wolf whistles*
"Capital knockers madam!"

(am I close?)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I've been trying to find a link for an old Drifter advert
It was a toothless old Redneck shouting at a posh-boy type to "Speak English, boi!"

Apparently I am the only one on The Internet^TM who remembers it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

You made that up in your head

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I wish I had
I'd probably still be living off the royalties now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

more like loads of farting and scratching and nose picking

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Alt
floccinaucinihilipilification,

its a super word and describes B3TA perfectly
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:13, Reply)

What, the act of declaring something as worthless?
I fail to see how this can describe b3ta in any way.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:16, Reply)

With the dubious exception of spirtual fulfilment
B3ta surely has a negative effect on productivity, therefore (add convoluted logic) a lessening of worth globally, I believe this site alone was responsible for the downturn.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

what an ugly word.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I take that as a complement

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:24, Reply)

That said
I'm having a punctuation issue. After being taught in primary school and through secondary school that the correct way to indicate speech would be "blah blah," with any punctuation inside the speechmarks, I've realised most people leave it outside the speech marks like "blah blah", flicking through books there seems to be a mix. Which is correct?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:18, Reply)

It depends of what you want to say
If the speaker is pausing, then the punctuation goes inside the speech marks. If you, telling the story, are pausing, then out of them.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

The former.
Most workaday punctuation should remain inside the quotation marks. If, however, you're using something like a colon, or the less formally defined "..." then you'd probably do better to put it outside them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I've been using a colon for many years.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

don't forget
a lot of 'books' these days are written by illiterate scumbags. Depends what you're reading.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I find myself correcting loads of things in the erotic books I read these days.
Totally throws me off my stroke.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:28, Reply)

the grammar
or the procedure?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:33, Reply)

It could be a random sentence like "I walked to my the front door"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:41, Reply)

It depends on what's happening with the speech
If the quotation is going to be continued, it would be inside the speech marks: "blah blah," said this person, "blah blah blah."

If it's in the middle of a sentence it would get none, and if it's a quote in the sentence, it would probably be outside. It's one of those ridiculous rules that makes English hard to learn properly.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Thanks all
I was pretty sure I was right, but it seems universal these days to leave it outside, so I was left wondering if it was me that was wrong.

I see I should not have doubted myself haha
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I had the piss taken out of me for using the word
"inviolate". I didn't think that was a particularly taxing one, to be honest. Apparently I was overestimating my co-workers' vocabulary.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Bloody illiterate!
Making fun is their way to deal with the embarrassment of recognising their ignorance.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

I think smug is still my favourite word, especially when said by northerns.
I can't think of any particularly clever words though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Callipygian.
I have been trying to find an appropriate time to use it - it means 'to have shapely buttocks'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:22, Reply)

well, if you realy want to use it
you can talk about me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Oh you already know that you are totally callipygian.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I like this word. I like it a lot.
Partly for its resemblance to the word "Capybara."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)

I like 'Capybara' for the similarity to 'chupacabra'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I shall be using this as I know someone
who qualifies. Absolutely magnificent, they are.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Bonus points for using "the quintessence of callipygian pulchritude" or close to it ... !

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Or just...
"Phwoar - look at the arse on her."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

That's what I said, wasn't it?
Shakespeare used to do that pretty well, thinking about it.

"My dear, you seem a lady of good bearing" sounds quite polite, for example.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I always liked Chaucer's use of "queynte"...
..to describe a wife. (Meaning both 'quant' as in homely, and also the root of the word 'cunt')
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:51, Reply)

'Aproctous'
"Not having an anus."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Really?
Who doesn't have an anus? How long can you live like that? Or are you talking about plants here?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:24, Reply)

A plant would be aproctous.
And lots of simple organisms are as well. I'm not aware of any humans who are aproctous.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Apart from politicians
since the excrement naturally finds other means of egress ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Haha!
I believe they are best described as "cephaloproctous*."

*_{NB Aber, this is not a real word! Or at least, if it is, I'm probably using it incorrectly.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Heh .. like it.
How about describing them as being chronically afflicted with 'proctophonesis'*?

edit: Hmmm, I suppose that'd mean talking out of their ... well, not too different from my original intent ...

*Also making it up as I go along
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Ooh, now that is good!
Thinking about it, 'cephaloproctous' would probably more accurately describe anybody involved in modern art or interpretive dance. 'Proctophonic' does have a nice ring to it...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:40, Reply)

*groans*
And now to our reporter in the BBC Proctophonic Workshop, with a special report on ring modulation ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

*facepalms*
You know, I didn't even pick up on the double entendre when I typed that. It's been a slow afternoon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

"All over the country
reports are coming in of badly-modulated rings oscillating like the proverbial otter's nose. This in turn has been causing loud bouts of white noise and occasional frantic clipping".
( Kroney, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)

You two stopped making sense
ages ago. Unintelligible.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Could be refering to Monotremes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:27, Reply)

lawyers use all sorts of horrendous words
i won't bore you with them. my favourite phrase, though, is "your particulars are embarrassing in their want of specificity".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:25, Reply)

YOUR particulars are enbarrassing
mine are fine, thank you very much.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

mulct is a good word

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Vituperative
I only came across it the other day. It could be applied to some of the posts on here.
(Cave Duck, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Shame the first T and P aren't the other way round
and it meant excessively smug.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

T and P?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Viputerative
/Sneaky Ninja
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Oooh.
(that's another of my favourites)
(Cave Duck, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Oh I forgot, I like disingenuous.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

You never ever hear of someone being ingenuous. Only the negative.

(Cave Duck, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Gimcrack
Showy, but cheap.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:29, Reply)

'Tomfoolery'
We all know the word, but how many of us are able to work it into regular conversation?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Me, for one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I second this
but then I generally sound as though I have crawled out of a long obsolete dictionary
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Try using 'tommyrot' instead.
It's new and improved.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

'balderdash' is superior, I find.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Utter bilgewater and you know it.
In fact, a total taradiddle.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Horsefeathers and poppycock.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:58, Reply)

PIFFLE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Turbo shit.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:14, Reply)

You win.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:51, Reply)

As though you'd woken up in bed with Samuel Johnson?
With categorically no recollection pertaining to the events of the lunar sojourn just past, yet with a vastly enriched command of your native lexicon?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Indubitably.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I sincerely hope you were drawing on your pipe as you published that missive.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I confess I was actually knocking the little blighter out on the fireguard at the time.
I was smoothing my prodigious whiskers, though, if that helps, and nursing a balloon of post-prandial cognac?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:49, Reply)

prandial coital
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:27, Reply)

coital partum
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

With a stormy countenance
borne of the aural assault of simpletons and mudlarks
( Kroney, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:50, Reply)

And yet with a satiated sensation of a heightened knowledge
not merely of words but of every collocation that could be used to describe the night before
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Now that, I do not doubt.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I like horseplay,
but enough about my private life.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:44, Reply)

*chortle*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Rhaphanidosis is the act of shoving a radish up someone's arse and apocolocyntosis means the act of turning into a pumpkin.
/ac

God bless the Classics.

Best words I heard today was "banoffee pie". I'm taking it upon myself to help my too-skinny friend by making everyday a fat day.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:52, Reply)

*beams and envelops Lampers in a heartfelt hug*
Excellent choices.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I was sitting next to someone who could have been your older brother
he had a handlebar mustache though. A thing of beauty.

How goes it, mein Liebster?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)

My real older brother looks like a 40-year-old Harry Potter*
I am not toooooo bad, thanking you kindlement, young Miss Lampton-Worm**.


*if Potter spent his post-Hogwarts years as an alcoholic squatter and general ne'er-do-well

**The news of this geet funny woorm
An' his queer gannins on
Seun crossed the seas, and reached the lugs
Of brave an' bowld Sir John.
So hyem he cam an' catched the beast
An' cut 'im in three halves,
An' stopped it eatin' aall bairns,
An' sheep an' lambs and calves.

So noo ye knaa hoo aall the folks
On byeth sides of the Wear
Lost lots o' sheep an' lots o' sleep
An' lived in mortal feor.
So let's hev one to brave Sir John
That kept the bairns frae harm
Saved coos an' calves by myekin' haalves
O' the famis Lambton Woorm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Hahaha oh man. This man was a legend, he was way too cheerful to be you
I was snuggled into my parka listening to music so couldn't hear him, but he was quite enthusiastic.

Glad to hear it my dear. I am cold and my kidneys hurt but I cannot complain at all.

EDIT: Thank you for explaining the reference. I thought it was something nice. I've not heard the word "worm" to mean dragon in ages.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

That's the ninth book;
"Harry Potter and the Crushing Disappointment of Life"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

'Harry Potter and the Bag of Free Sandwiches Outside the Back of Boots'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:12, Reply)

Harry Potter and the Needle Exchange

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Boots give away free sandwiches?
why was I not informed?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Maybe they thought they'd save them for, y'know, the HOMELESS?
Maybe they thought A-FUCKING-CCOUNTANTS could afford to, y'know, "BUY" sandwiches?

Hmmm?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I demand everything that's coming to me!
*Ominous thunderclap and flash of lightning*


Shit
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:42, Reply)

You demand I kick your fucking head in?
Strange boy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Evening Monty

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:45, Reply)

Wotcher.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:49, Reply)

I'm so glad I'm subsidising your education.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 16:59, Reply)

it's a lot worse that's true than pyschology at Reading

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)

I learnt that myself, thank you very much, when my parents were subsidising my education.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Promethean is quite good I suppose

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:03, Reply)

The practice of Scaphism has always been a firm favourite

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

FIRE! Da da DAAAAA
I want FIRE! Da da DAAAAA
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:06, Reply)

It's for someone whose got their shit goin on

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:09, Reply)

I also happen to like
Sisyphean, when describing tasks.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I am keen on the words malevolent
and nefarious

and coruscate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:22, Reply)

How about "Homesick"?
or "Lonely"?
or "Stuckawayfromhomebecauseofcuntingwork"?

Hi Vippers.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)

I've come to terms with it
have you come to terms with being an arse?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Put that handbag down.
Hope it's going well, are you meeting lots of new people and getting new opportunities and wotnot?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:28, Reply)

He caught AIDS in a public lavatory last night.
Is that the sort of thing you meant?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Hey! I was trying to be nice, he's obviously a bit fragile at the moment
but then being gang-fucked by some burly engineers will do that to you
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Yeah it's going fine
have spent a couple of days out of the office walking along rivers which has been nice. The work is pretty easy so far, and the people are generally alright. I already knew all the ones I'm working closely with anyway, which is ok, because they are my favourite clients.

There is limited scope for new opportunities unfortunately.

When I was bitching about it before I started here people kept saying "it'll look good on your CV though" and no one seemed to understand that it was actually a slight step backwards in terms of the technical stuff I do.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Well y'know, chin-up fella.
The river bit sounds nice.

*feels bad for mentioning the whole thing*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:34, Reply)

Have you got 'Live Herald' by Steve Hillage?
You fucking should have.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:39, Reply)

CRAPULOUS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I like
Corpulent.
( Kroney, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:31, Reply)

You fancy Al?
EEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Cheeky sod

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:47, Reply)

ERRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Kroney, your 'fancy-man' is here!

Al, my friend fancies you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Oh boy, can you pass him a note for me?
Can you tell him I like his eyes and if he wants a kiss to meet me by the bike sheds after third period
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:53, Reply)

ERRRRR, you said 'period'

I bet you're looking forward to seeing Michael Monroe on Saturday, aren't you, you big penis-fondler.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Is he the albino bloke?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 17:56, Reply)

That's Johnny Winter,
MM was in Finnish gaylords Hanoi Rocks
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Righto.
I'm off to famous waterside pirate boozer The Prospect of Whitby. There's a hangman's noose out the back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 18:09, Reply)