Not money, but a deal was made
I took this girl home one night (in the days that I didn't drink myself unconscious and wake up on the floor soaked in my own piss... but I'm going off topic now).

So I brought her home after clubbing and fucked her silly. Then she asked to swap sides (of the bed) because there was a wet patch. I said I'd swap if I could cum in her mouth. Which she did.

But I kept my side.

la la la
(onedotzero, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 23:52, Reply)

Yes, well almost sex
Lads long weekend in Amsterdam. Watched a couple of shows, and started feeling horny. Two of us decided to pick the best pair, and have a foursome (30€ each per roxanne, so 60€ each total and they were fine birds).
Trouble is, amsterdam is also well known for something else that we'd both over endulged in, so neither of us; how shall we put this, could get our moneys worth. (get it up, but they were bloody good smokes!)
Later we both felt we had to prove that we can get it up whilst under the influence, and not a pair of batty boys, so spent the best euro ever cracking one off in some skany booth!
Also had our hotel door kicked in by some Irish mongs at 4.30 in the morning.
( firstinch returns after about 10yrs, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 22:50, Reply)

Vaguely on-topic
Never paid for sex, but my brother and I got hustled at pool by a hooker and her pimp one night. For more money than it would have cost for BOTH of us to enjoy her services for the evening. In hindsight, I should have paid for sex, it would have been cheaper than losing at pool.
(Savitar, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 22:14, Reply)

not me
but i was on a jungle trek with a bunch of randoms and we were playing i have never. This question came up and up piped the italian man, his justification being (in heavy italian accent, made it even better) - " just to see what it was like". he was a legend.
(hot wee wee jefferson - the cystitis kid strange things are afoot at the circle K, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 21:46, Reply)

I've paid in another way...
This American chick (a doctor), who I got friendly with a few years back, came to a club with me and she got pretty drunk. After cavorting around the club and getting bad looks, she just told me to take her back to mine. Now, we kind of got it on a bit but she was tired, so we slept for a while. During the night, she woke up demanding a cup of tea. I said I'd make her one if she had sex with me. After about 2 seconds, she said "o.k." So we got it on and of course, making a cup of tea afterwards was a small sacrifice!
Americans are easy...she's not the only one I've easily had my way with :P
(OnionTerror is a bag full of sick, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 21:33, Reply)

Not as yet
but if things continue this way I am happy to pay anyone who offers to clean my curtains for me, if you get my drift...

Oh and my first husband claimed his Aunt was a lady of the night; her most famous client (*coughs* allegedly) was the late Benny Hill. Apparently Mr Hill used to pay her to gobble him off under his dining room table while he sat and ate his dinner.

Always paid cash and usually got it out of a carrier bag he had stored in the hall cupboard.

Actually, the first husband lost his cherry to a prostitute. He thought it was the best way to get some experience before getting himself a girlfriend. Then he would be able to wow them with the "tricks" he had picked up from said lady of ill repute.

My advice to him would be to ask for his money back. He was a crap shag.
(Flangella, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 21:20, Reply)

Accidental prostitute
I remember going on a date with a student nurse and, after a few drinks, we ended up back at her place.

We decided to order a pizza and I thought I'd be a gentleman and pay once it arrived (classy eh?)

When the pizza was eventually delivered I was in the bathroom so she answered the door and payed the man.

We shared the romantic candle-lit pizza, listened to some soft music and retired to the bedroom.

The next morning I awoke and realised I was late for work so, while she slept on, I grabbed my clothes and made a dash for the train. Suddenly I remembered - pizza! - I ought to leave some money for it. I decided to leave a note alongside the cost of the previous evening's meal.

It was only after I shut her front door I realised that the first thing the poor woman would see when she woke up was £10 on her table with a note saying "Thanks. Tasted lovely."
(ccc, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 20:31, Reply)

I'm a virgin.
Because I don't have any money.

I was recently propositioned by a French prostitute in France however.
She proceeded to do karate moves on my mate until the madame of the house stopped her.
We ran. Fast.
( cheesebread at the third stroke, hammertime will be, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 20:21, Reply)

Coming Down
Years ago, there was a dark zone along the Strip in Las Vegas where women would hide behind cars, jump out, and accost passersby. Sounds exciting, but with the heavy pancake makeup and the cigarette breath, it was more like 'Rampage of the Haunted Bordello Bimbos' than anything.

After losing all my money at a blackjack table, I passed back through the zone. A Bimbette came jumping over lawn sprinklers to stroll and chat. "Come on, baby, just $20 for a blow job," she said. I mumbled something about having lost my money, but she would have none of it. She abruptly stepped in front of me, and I smacked into her. She started fondling my crotch (as a passing motorist honked) and said, "come on, baby, just $20!" I grabbed her elbows, shoved her away, and shouted "NO!"

She sighed, and said, "OK - $15."
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 19:46, Reply)

Not yet . . .
Living quite near the harbour in Aberdeen, I often get ladies asking me if "I'm looking for business" and occasionally after a few beers I've been tempted, but be more likely to go for it if the weren't all horrible looking skeletal skag addicts.
www.punternet.com/
Handy site that . . .
(garrison, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 18:59, Reply)

What?
Have I ever NOT paid one way or another for sex?
( UF0 I ignore ALL board nazis!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 18:47, Reply)

Sex
Yup, I pay for Sex on a regular basis, it's simpler, cheaper than a full time relationship, particuarly because i'm a lardass without much confidence :)
( Alex Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 18:08, Reply)

A friend of mine was in the army
based in germany.

he claimed to have had 300 women, and admitted most of the were paid for. and i'm guessing at least 298 of them were.
( Snorty McBumhole YouTube.com/MinistryOfGeeks, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 18:00, Reply)

Three years it cost me. . .
shagging that rabbit. Fuck you RSPCA!
(le renard, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:41, Reply)

we ALL pay one way
edit: No is the best answer, upon reflection...
(skotty lord of tiny flies, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:38, Reply)

sort of
When at university, I drove a taxi part-time to make ends meet. One time I was at the end of my shift and had just checked into the dispatch office to go home for the night, when my dispatcher got a "special"call for someone at a local bowling alley going on a 30 mile trip, and would I do it? Seeing my face, he offered me some "primo" bud before I went. I hardly ever smoked, but was tired, and thought, why not? So, somewhat doped and paranoid already, I pull up to the bowling alley, where there is a police car parked with its lights flashing and a group of people gathered around. Turns out my fare is a middle-aged trailer-court woman who had created a disturbance in the bowling alley and was being sent home by the police. She was obviously baked as well...
So the officer comes over to my car to explain the situation to me, all while I'm doing my best to not act loopy. But I get through it okay. Said woman gets into my car and we take off. A little ways down the road, after some creative interpretation of her ramblings, I come to the realization that she has no money to pay me and would like to settle using "other" services. At first I'm angry about this, but doped enough to reconsider. So I let her do her thing -- she obviously catches rides this way frequently. All is going well, except that I'm having trouble concentrating, maybe because i'm driving while half-baked, when suddenly she bites the fuck out of my Willy Wonka!! DAMN! Obviously this put me right off and I quickly zipped back up while she pouted. Now she was going to have to pay me for the cab fare... We visited two of her "friends" house in the middle of the night looking to borrow some money, to no avail. I could see this was going nowhere, so while she was in the second house, I absconded with a pocketbook she had left on the dashboard with some identification in it. She never realized it that night, and thought she was getting away with a free ride. Her last words before parting were "sorry, I couldn't come through for you" Ha! You bit me you wicked bint! Who the hell likes that?
The next day I get a call from her looking for her pocketbook. I explain that she has only to leave the full fare at the dispatch office, for which the dispatcher will exchange her mislaid pocketbook. She does, and that was the end of it - thank God.
But that is how I almost paid for sex.
(archemeaty, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:24, Reply)

No
but I have been paid for it once, in very unusual clothes circumstances.
I'm not saying owt more about it, it still gives me the horn nightmares, and probably will till the day I die.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 17:00, Reply)

Now you come to mention it...
...several years ago when I was making a living smoothing the edges of matchsticks that are used in world record breaking model making attempts, I suffered a minor industrial accident when a splinter of endangered hardwood flew from the high speed lathe and punctured my left earlobe. It wasn't a bad wound, but when I complained to the boss (a large, obscenely sweaty Welshman) he claimed that I shouldn't really be complaining as firstly I wasn't hurt, and secondly that I'd just had my ear pierced for free. I pointed out to him that I did not want my ear pierced, as I find the sight of men wearing earrings, particularly one earring and especially one (almost invariably) diamonte earring, vilely inappropriate. He was unrepentant; there was for me on that day, no Welcome In The Valleys.

Rather than sink to the level of Claims Direct and any others from that monstrous cabal of those with the moral rectitude of an incontinent dog, I instead hired a small private security company, who rather like the A-Team, will help you (sometimes) if you can find them. Having swiftly dispatched the perfumed Taff who had so wronged me, I found myself writing them a cheque for services rendered. It could therefore be said that I have indeed, paid Force X, and most satisfactory was the whole affair, too.
( petuniadb, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 16:40, Reply)

About 5 years ago
That engagement ring cost £500.
(rogerzilla, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 16:39, Reply)

Not monetarily...
Well, i've 'paid the price' on numerous occasions due to promiscous stupidity.

The most memorable though is when, in one fell sweep (or shaft) i paid with my health, mental stability and my public image.

Anyway, so, her name, i kid you not, was Gooch. I slept with a girl named after the perineum. Lovely. She was quite a large lass too and, to be honest wasn't even a pretty girl either... I was so very drunk.

Anyway, so, I wake up the nesxt morning with a searing pain in the left hand side of my old chap. It turned out the night before i had neglected to remove her knickers before/during the act and had suffered a saw like action from the frilly edging, cutting into my penis about half a centimetre.

This resulted in a few weeks of no sex and a ribbing from my mates which continues to this day, two and a half years later.

That's how i paid for sex with mental and physical anguish, but lost my stupid promiscuity... Well, some of it...
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:58, Reply)

I was offered money for sex once
When I was backpacking in Israel I learned that in order to avoid unwanted male attention, the secret is to keep moving and yell "fuck off" whenever approached.

However, I was hot and tired and waiting for a bus once so I sat down and started reading a book.

This bloke started circling but I ignored him. I couldn't tell if he was homeless or a rubbish collector. He had a cart of rubbish, was filthy and had an entire solar system of flies circling his head.

He kept saying "Psst! Slosheem sheklim. Fucky fucky". And I kept ignoring him.

Finally I pulled out my phrase book, turned to the number converter and saw that Slosheem Sheklim is 30 sheckels, about 3 pound fifty!

Bloody cheek! If he'd have offered 50 I might have considered it.

I did actually end up getting sexually assaulted in a shop in Jerusalem on the same trip after receiving the amazing gift of a bunch of cheap beads - but that's a whole other story. I still keep them as a souvenir, they're kind of bought and paid for.
(Peelmytangerines, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:56, Reply)

Paying for sex includes hotel porn right?
Seeing this weeks newsletter about disabled porn reminded me of this. This is not my story, it's a friend's. But as he is on a round the world motorbike trip at the moment, I'll tell it the way he does.

"I checked into a hotel in Jo'burg, and of course the first thing you do is check out the quality of the in room porn.

So i had a look and there were 4 or 5 channels, mostly of the "Anal party" or "Teen Orgy" variety, but the last option intrigued me; it said "Disabled adult channel".

"Well," I thought, "if they're sick enough to make disabled porn, I'm sick enough to watch it" So I unzipped and selected that option.

Then and only then did I realise it actually said "DISABLE adult channels" and my 2 week stay in this shit hole would now be without any right hand action because I was too embarassed to phone reception to get it reinstated."

I have no idea whether this is true or not. But it's funny.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:49, Reply)

Wall Street (again, sorry)
Wall Street, for those that dont know, in the late 90's was an absolute locker room. Boys only most of the time.

One day we had a "Happy Hour on the NASDAQ" where we would bring cases and cases of beer and import a few strippers to the office.

Picture this: Wall Street boardroom, guys with dress shirts and ties hooting and hollering, guzzling beer while two "lesbian" *(yeah, right) strippers enjoy each other to the panting joy of the amassed brokers.

Then, in come the hookers. Nasty ho's.

My assistant, Nick is absolutely gagging for this one girl, so in a moment of charity I said "Nick, I shall buy you a hooker this day!" and I went up to her, paid her for the business and made quick my escape from the office.

I got to the street and realized I left my apartment keys in my desk, so 'round I turn and ride the elevator back up. I walk through the panting, hooting minions to see that my office light is on...as I get up to the window, I glance in and Nick has the hooker seated on my desk and he is "eating at the Y" as we liked to call it.

The sick part is that this whore had been with at least 6 brokers from the firm already and Nick, always wanting to please, is orally pleasuring her.

I gagged and decided I would get the spare keys from my neighbors and not interrupt them.

Needless to say, I had my desk cleaned off on Monday.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:36, Reply)

Exiled in Basle
Whilst working in Basle a few years ago I succumbed to irresistable urges in the trouser department and dealt with them efficiently at the local knocking shop.

Punchline - on leaving, I literally bumped into an old schoolmate (1000 miles from home) going in.

Disappointed "Now then Gary. How are you?"

Gary "Oh, fine and dandy"

And off we went. Never seen him since but if I did I'm not sure how we'd tackle the subject of banging the same Swiss prozzie consecutively.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:33, Reply)

A friend of mine lost it to one!
Man I hope he never reads this! :)

Amsterdam 1999 & 18 years old, his only comment upon returning was:

"She wanted another 20 Guilders to take her top off!!"

A high moment of his life I am sure!


Edit : Superdude (below) even though you are listening to a wicked band I feel I must point out that did sound like a boastful "I am getting sex tonight" post! Please do fuck off! :-)
(Minty Hit, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 15:13, Reply)

Nope, I'm good
Girlfriend is up later today after not seeing her for months, so stock up time me thinks.

p.s: my friends say that our trip to amsterdam will change my mind :S
( Spam Filter Formerly known as Superdude, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:38, Reply)

RE Mr 'The Figurative Pineapple'
You said 'I haven't.But a sex-mad Swedish ex-girlfreind of mine is now a prostitute. So I guess you could say I got a freebee. Yaay.' If your ex girlfriends name is Chrissa and she lived in London you are not the only one. She used to meet me every few months for some non-commital naughties and once gave me crabs. Dirty cow.
(DrTugnut, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:26, Reply)

Stag weekend
A few years ago I went on a stag weekend to a major European city (not Amsterdam!).

It took us three hours, but we found the Red Light District and ended up in this brothel specialising in ladies from the orient.

Dear God... The groom to be picked this Thai woman to led him off to a seated area adjacent to the bar, but not exactly private if you know what I mean and dropped to her knees in front of him. Meanwhile, this bint kept coming up to me and hassling me for sex, I replied "no way!" but she wouldn't take the hint. I'd had enough so one of my mates and I waited outside, whereupon five minutes later out comes the groom and the rest of the party.

Apparently, Thai lass was mid nosh when he decided to let out a seriously obnoxious fart. She didn't even flinch and carried on, surely qualifying for praise for her professionalism.

I'd decided from the word go that I wasn't going to indulge (was seeing a very adventurous strumpet at home at the time), frankly, the thought of grinding away with some lass who can't speak English, wearing a run-flat condom and trying not to think too deeply about the fact that her last client was a dirty, seedy Albanian sailor ain't my bag. Still, it didn't stop one of our party copping off with a Britney Spears alike and attempting to "kick her back door in".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:16, Reply)

Pfft
We all have --

Every time we get drunk and then buy girls drinks in a bar in the vain hope we get lucky.
( WOLF .™, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 13:51, Reply)