List-O-Mania
1. People who drive vehicles (often but not always 4x4) with unsecured children in the back. Standing between the front seats, climbing into the boot, blatantly not attached in anyway to the vehicle. That is traveling at a speed absolutely guaranteed to kill/maim those children. Stop the car. Belt them in. If they go near a buckle, stop the car. They’ll get the idea. If you continue to drive, you are TOO STUPID to (a) have children (b) drive (c) metabolise oxygen.

2. People who demonise 4x4 drivers as exclusively being baby-seal clubbing ice-cap melting fiends. The school run aside, some of these actually have a purpose. In my period of 4x4 ownership (Boo! Hiss! A vole became extinct because of you, you bastard!) I needed a car that would drive on the road sometimes, up farm tracks or on the moors at others, be able to get lots of stuff in, and yes, go to the supermarket. Unless someone fancied giveing me a sackful of cash and the parking spaces to fit 4 separate cars in, I drove a 4x4. Jus’ call me Cletus y’all. I also drove an older one, which avoids the environmental costs of building a new car.

3. Announcements of ‘crack downs’ and ‘new laws’ to deal with the latest hyped up headline. Heads up folks, your kids are about as likely to be abducted by a paedophile now as they were in 1950. They are at the most danger from someone known to you, or a member of an organized religion, or being too insulated from reality by their stupid parents to know how to cross the road safely. Certain groups in certain areas aside, you are as likely to be shot now as you were years ago, unless you happen to be a member of the Gang-Culture-Lite that we have in the UK. And quite frankly I don’t give a toss if one member of a crew slots another, I just object to paying for the shooter to spend ten years getting stoned and playing with himself at the taxpayer’s expense.

4. Diana is dead.

5. Yes, really.

6. The driver was pissed.

7. Yes, really.

8. Nice ornamental plates you’ve got there.

9. What, you’re still convinced by Fayed?

10.Keep taking the happy pills.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Opening the flood gates of opionion....
I have nothing against vegetarians as such. But when the 2 people out of the 150 going to my wedding insist that we lay on a full vegetarian buffet as a condition of their attending the wedding, I get a little annoyed. (it's expensive to do that for just 2 people)

People who play their MP3/iPods too loudly and then give you the death stare when you complain.

Justice Eamon De Valera for legalising begging in Ireland and allowing every chancer to sit on a Dublin street corner with paper cup in hand asking you for change. And ruining things for the genuinely homeless as a result.

Chuggers.

Bible bashers. Especially the one who went apeshit on me when I told him I was god and that he must bow down and worship me.

People who take ages to put their money/cards in to their purse/wallet after completing a transaction in a shop, especially when there is a queue.

People who spray stuff on me in department stores.

People who insist on getting on the train at the same time as people are tying to get off.

Betterware catalogues. No I wont go to the bother of leaving it out for you.

People who don't comment their code and then claim there is no need to comment well written code. If I can't understand the code easily, then it isn't well written.
(Grundie, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:21, 4 replies)

Fat people
that complain about being fat... I've nothing against fat people (I've several pounds extra myself) - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT if you have a problem with it.

People pull out the Thyroid card... Ok there's probably a few of them but the rest, Bollocks, stop eating so much fucking crap, eat stuff that's good for you and in smaller quantities.

You don't see any fat Ethiopians do you? that's cause they don't eat much and do exercise running away from Lions and shit.

Why oh why do I keep seeing obese people in fast food joints asking for the large meal with a diet Coke?

Stop it - well stop complaining anyway.
(Kip, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:21, 4 replies)

Hipster jeans!
The only women on the planet who looks good in hipster jeans is Shakira.

So why does every bloody clothing shop only stock hipster jeans.

Yup! I bought a pair cause they were cheap.
( girlinthehole, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:16, 8 replies)

Note to Nickleback
Get the fuck off my tv screen!
Get the fuck off my radio!
Get the fuck off my planet!
Your rock star song is the worst song in the whole world, including the 'Birdie Song'!

Go away! Go away! Go away!
(Axeman Jim, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:15, 6 replies)

How
children and older wrestling fans can honestly see them punching and kicking each other. They aren't!!!
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:11, 1 reply)

Americans
who get pissed off with the way English people spell things.

The clue's in the word 'English'.
(RickGrimes Quite frankly, disappointed on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:11, 11 replies)

Dogs and Groups
Forgot these earlier.

Dogs annoy me, and therefore are becoming the object of my loathing very rapidly indeed. Here come the reasons:

Drool
Barking
Moulting
Smell
Overly Affectionate
The whole alpha male/female thing - you're always in competition with what is, essentially, a guest.
Begging - even when trained not to they still look at you longingly when you're eating
Clearing up dog poo when I've taken my in-laws dog out. They're on holiday at the moment, so this is a twice daily event.
Chavs own aggressive ones - that eat children/babies/furniture etc. I know this is the owners' fault for not training them properly, but see "Alpha male" section above.

Closely tied into this is being labelled a "cat person" - I do like cats but so what? This is just dog-people putting people into groups, or "packs" as I call them.

Which leads us neatly onto Groups (of people):

Loud
Take up huge areas of pavement/pub/whatever
Always have loud gobshite "alpha" character who is opionated and invariably one of the stupidest. Tied to this is the way people vie for attention when in groups, only to say something completely pointless
People's personality changes in groups: look at the meek people who become braying loudmouths at football matches.
Attract people who "need to fit in and be noticed".

That is all. Go about your buisness and for God's sake, DISPERSE!
( DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:09, 1 reply)

True to what I said in a reply to Conzo's post about Grammar Nazis
Here is what he sent to me.

"You just think your intelligent really your just a very sad individual with nothing better to do. How does that one strike you, think about it! You are “intelligent" after all. Thank you for replying."

I'm guessing here is someone who loathes to have mistakes pointed out to him. Incidentally, it's "you're", you utter waste of chromosomes.

Oh yes... what bugs me. People moaning at me through private messaging on opinions I choose to express over a public medium. It's cowardly and just plain stupid.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 2 May 2008, 14:09, 6 replies)

People who wear

Fur

Warning - not nice viewing, but sometimes it's the only way to get the point across!



(Kip, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:08, 1 reply)

Language
Right - too many of you Brits are laying into Americans for their dodgy spelling, time to level the playing field methinks.

First off, the reasoning behind the way Americans spell things is a culmination of phonetics (note how it isn't spelled as it sounds, weird that) and, this is the kicker....

That's how it was way back f*cking when, when you f*ckstains came over the damn sea to colonise the new world.

I'll let that sink in for a bit. Got it? No? Then I advise you to go back over some of your more historical written documents. Don't worry, I have time to wait, while you do that I'll keep going.

Anyway, things that really get my back up are the spellings of:

color - spelt colour
honor - spelt honour
armor - spelt armour

WTF? When did we start playing bloody Scrabble. Now i'm not claiming innocence on this, we've f*cked the language over a barrel ourselves (mostly in how we chew on words and spit them out, rather than speaking clearly). Words such as:

organize - it's an 's' not a 'z' dear, try again
generalize - no, close but still seem to be a bit confused
prioritize - NNNNGGGHHH

This pisses me off no end as my name is - for those of you who can't guess from the user name - Charles, often shortened to Chas. The number of people who spell it with a 'z' is astronomical, and I hate every.single.one.of.them.

I'd make a length joke, but I'm too f*cking angry to be witty - so instead I'm gonna take some prescription pharmaceuticals and go sit in a dark room cursing the world...... penis.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Fri 2 May 2008, 14:07, 12 replies)

On a similar note to the Skin Cream rant below
Ibuprofen Gel.

**THIS PRODUCT DOES NOT WORK**

It's scientifically impossible, and is entirely a placebo that some marketing twunt has put in a tube and charged you a fiver for. Ibuprofen CANNOT be absorbed through the skin (otherwise it would numb your hand when you rubbed it in, wouldn't it?

A friend of mine, who works in prescribing, once demonstrated this to me by walking into a pharmacist's and having the following conversation with the gaffer:

My friend [picking up a tube of Ibuprofen Gel]: Does this work?
Pharmacist [carefully]: A lot of people say it does.
My Friend: That's not the question.
Pharmacist: It's very popular.
My Friend: That's not the question either.
Pharmacist: What do you want?
My Friend: What qualifications do you have?
Pharmacist: I'm sorry?
My Friend: What qualifications do you have to do this job?
Pharmacist: I have a Masters in Biochemistry.
My Friend: Right. So I'm asking you, not as a man who makes a living selling medicines, but as a man with a Masters in Biochemistry, does this stuff work?
Pharmacist: [pause] No. [another pause] You're not from TV or something, are you?

I once saw a sign in the window of a herbal medicine shop that said "Arnica Cream - Scientifically proven to be just as effective as Ibuprofen Gel". Genius.

And don't even get me started on cough mixture...
(Axeman Jim, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:07, 1 reply)

Kerry Katona
Need I say more?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:02, 3 replies)

False Accents
A couple of years ago, it somehow became fashionable to have a regional accent. Well, not just any regional accent, but one that came from North of the Watford Gap. This seemed stupid enough in itself - granted, clothes, hairstyles, music etc. will drift in and out of mainstream appeal, but why regional accents? It's not as if people can go out and buy a more fashionable accent, is it?

How wrong I was. Fortunately, most of Kingston-upon-Thames decided that suddenly affecting a Mancunian accent would look at best suspicious and at worst shallow, transparent and deeply sad. So they all decided overnight that they were cheeky cockney chappies from Sarf-eest Larn-dun.

Jamie fucking Oliver, you have a lot to answer for. Well done with the dinners, but why did you have to slobber your obnoxious and embarrassingly false cockney accent all over our TV screens with your massive throbbing tongue? I swear the word "Pukka" had been out of usage since the '80s until you revived it, you utter, utter bastard.

You went to a public school, for crying out loud - do you think anyone honestly believes that you're the cockney wideboy you pretend to be?

(As for the celebrity chef doing adverts for pre-prepared ready meals...well, that's ironic enough in itself.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:02, 1 reply)

In spite of everything I say about how much I hate emos and their music
right now, I am sad and cross and many many things all at once because men can never make their minds up what they want. So, I also hate indecisive people.

- People who invade my personal space on the bus, on trains and otherwise get too close for comfort. Especially if I have to sit next to them and they are clearly mad in some way. I am only little and don't take up that much space but that doesn't mean you can have what I'm not using!

- Clubbing - don't get me wrong, I enjoy a night out with my friends as much as the next person, although I don't tend to enjoy the taste of alcohol much any more, but I have never ever really seen the point of going to a club. On average, you can't talk to anyone because it's too loud, in my experience they're never playing any music worth listening to, and you invariably get groped by men who may or may not be old enough to be your father, you lose all your friends in the throng, you get hot and sweaty and crammed into spaces, if you have a drink in your hand it's like people are magnetically drawn to it so they will spill it, and by the time you're significantly drunk to enjoy yourself it's time to leave. I much prefer popping down to the pub for a few drinks and then either heading off to someone's house to continue the merriment there, or going out for ladies' cocktails or something. That, and most of the clubs I've ever been to are full of old pervy men trying to get laid, or chavs (ditto).

- Also, I think the guy sat two seats to my left in the library either hates me for some reason or is a b3tan as he keeps looking at me oddly.

- Fall Out Boy and their like - Patrick Stump is not a genius. Nor is he a sex god. Grow up. Ditto the one with the smirk who got his cock out on the internet - you think that wasn't staged?

- Oh, and signs that use unnecessary quotation marks: 'Please "do not" park your cars in front of these doors' - no, but I know where I'd like to park that sign...
( Maladicta, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:01, 4 replies)

`Celebrities'
Vernon Kaye, Pete Docherty, Paris Hilton, Amy Winehouse and Russell Brand.

The mere mention of any of the above has me wincing and boiling with an irrational inner rage.

Especially Russell Brand. I went to the same school as him, you see. He was two years younger than me. Which means I had THREE FRIGGING YEARS to punch him in the face, but never did so on account of him being an unfamous unfunny little twunt. As opposed to now - a famous unfunny bigger twunt.

`Oh, but you're jealous!' people will invariably cry.

No.

He's just a cock.
(Audax Victor, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:01, 2 replies)

Donations "to charity"
A huge peeve I have is when people talking about donating something "to charity".

Like for example, someone holds an auction promising to donate the proceeds to charity.

WHAT FUCKING CHARITY?

There are so many of them out there. Please be specific. I want to know whether my money is going to help cancer research (good), or to the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science (good)... or if it's going to go towards Chesterfield Vineyard Trust (bad) or into the pockets of African dicators (bad).

Be specific, please. If you just talk about "charity" then you don't get a single penny from me, because I don't know where my money is going.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:01, Reply)

Cyclic Arguments
How can some people be so blinkered that they can't see the folly of their arguments?
I once had a discussion with a God botherer about a friend who's wife was a 'witch'.
"Ahh, she believes in the mythical Gods" he said.
"No more mythical than yours" I replied; "They were about before Christianity".
The response of "No they weren't. Mine created the Earth, so he must have been around first" just defied a reply.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:01, 2 replies)

The QOTW numbering system
I read "Latest", then I click on the next number along, only to find that it contains half the posts I've just read on the "Latest" page, then the next number along to find that the first few are *still* from the "Latest" page, and at some arbitrary point about halfway down, new posts will appear that I haven't read.

I don't understand it, I doubt I ever will.

And it annoys me.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:00, 1 reply)

lots
Noisy Eaters – Come on, I mean you must be able to hear the noises you make and how revolting it is. You sound like an animal. This isn’t even a ‘pet peeve’ actually – this is something that makes me tremble with anger. Same for those that can’t drink a cup of tea without sounding like a wilderbeast lapping at a riverbank.

Religion- ‘’ If I had my way, I’d ban religion me, all those religious types are nutters and the world would be better off without it’’. What? You’d ban ‘religion’ would you? Think about that for more than about .005 of a seccond, you nazi. It’s not really ‘religion’ is it? more those extreme fundamentalists that you disagree with. It’s like saying you’d ban football because of football hooligans.

Dan Brown – Not the man himself, but the people that read his books and his books only and think they are some sort of English literature professor. Listen, if you can buy a book in Spar, it doesn’t really count. Mind you, these guys are much better than the guys that are strangely proud of the fact that they don’t read at all. ‘’its boring innit’’

Paddy – I know I’m Irish but it’s 2008 for fuck’s sake, don’t call me ‘paddy’ you mong.

Anti Mainstream Success – People that ONLY watch foreign/ arty/ underground films. Nothing wrong with those films (well actually most of them are pretentious wank) but don’t turn your nose up at me because I want to watch some glossy Hollywood blockbuster. I mean what sort of a person thinks he’s too clever to enjoy a film that more than 12 people have ever seen. At least something will fucking happen in those films. Same goes for people that don’t like any bands with mainstream success, solely because they have mainstream success. Shoreditch take note.

Vegans – Have a sausage for God’s sake. Who are you kidding?

Abbreviations – Not ‘txt spk’ which has been well documented already (and rightly so) but people who speak in three letter acronyms instead of actually saying the phrase. ASAP ; just say ‘‘ as soon as possible’’, it’s only 2 extra syllables and you won’t sound like an eejit, same goes for BBQ and don’t ever shorten words like ‘Mediterranean’ to ‘med’ .While we’re at it, don’t refer to your mobile phone as your ‘cell phone’ either ( unless of course, you’re American)

Liverpool FC fans. You are no good. At all. The fact you did so well in the champion’s league over the last few seasons sickens me and devalues the whole competition.

The redundant apostrophe. People without a shred of manners or etiquette. Courtroom dramas. Hospital dramas. Blokes that always go on about birds they pulled. Blokes that go on about how ‘mad’ they are. Girls that drink half a bottle of wine and turn into the loudest, most annoying screechers on the planet and keep trying to get you to dance or something like that – sure enough they’ll keep drinking and inevitably start crying about an hour later and then pass out.

Jesus, I could go on all day but I suspect you don’t care and I really should go and get some lunch.


Noisy eaters are they worst though, I have a friend that hates it more than I do and actually slapped one of his mates,proper angry, open handed across the face in a McDonalds because he wouldn’t close his mouth.
(BarryChuckle, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:58, 6 replies)

Me!
I really piss myself off. Why do I sometimes have to be such a twat. Why can't I make the sensible choice instead of the stupid, it will all end in tears choice or the you know it's going to go pear-shaped choice. Why do I have to pretend I'm stronger and braver than I really am. Why do I ignore the blatant facts of my life and pretend it's all going the way I want it to when I'm not sure what the fuck I'm doing.

Oh! and why can't I understand string theory. It looks so interesting and I can't understand a bloody word of it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:57, 11 replies)

Racialism
and racialist are in my mac's dictionary as real words.

how? when? WHY?
(threadkiller, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:56, 1 reply)

Now with hydro-nulceo-repairo-regenerol
Is it just me or is the quantity of psuedo-scientific bullshit in cosmetics/hair product ads reaching epidemic proportions?

Man in Suit 1: Right, we need to come up with a new product to sell to stupid people.
Man in Suit 2: OK, we need something to distinguish it from the others. Any ideas?
Man in Suit 3: We could say we've included "Retinol", which is just vitamin A but sounds like some kind of wonder drug?
MiS1: Nah, we tried that before, you know, the one with that actress we overdubbed. We need innovation, people!
MiS2: How about the new wonder ingredient "Di-Hydrogen Oxide", scientifically proven for its cleansing and moisturising effects?
MiS3: You mean water?
MiS2: Well, yes, but if we dress it up with a cheap CGI diagram of little blue balls going into the skin and making it glow, no-one will notice.
MiS1: I like it.
MiS3: We could say "Now with even more Goji Berry Extract". Goji berries do bugger all to your skin, but if we say it loud enough, people will assume it must be a good thing, otherwise why would it be in the advert?
MiS1: Good stuff, people. We need a name, though.
MiS2: Hang on, I'm getting my random cream-name generator fruit machine out [pulls handle on the side]. It suggests "Hydro-Age-Repleno-Lift"
MiS3: It needs "Pro" in there somewhere.
MiS1: "Pro-Hydro-Age-Repleno-Lift" it is. Any tips on the advert?
MiS2: Well we have to say stuff like "Skin Feels Smoother, more moisturised" rather than "Skin *is* smoother or more moisturised", because, erm, that's not technically true.
MiS3: Well, just make sure that that bit is spoken both loudly and quickly so people don't notice. And make sure the little CGI baubles are swirling around or something to distract people.
MiS2: How about we conduct a survey of about 5 very stupid people who think their skin might have got better, and say it's "scientifically proven"?
MiS1: OK, sounds like a plan. I'll get onto the press people and find a vacuous actress who doesn't use the product for us to overdub. It's a wrap people, let's do lunch!
(Axeman Jim, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:51, 8 replies)

A letter from me.
Dear everyone,

I've got a few things I'd like to get off my chest, and I think a letter is the best way to do it. I'm not entirely sure where to start, so I'll just address various concerns in a concise, and yet clear manner. These are not all the things that annoy me, but the ones that just spring to mind without thinking too hard.

Let's begin with the basics: manners. The words "please" and "thank you" were not invented merely to be said in old-fashioned costume dramas. They are still relevant today. Please use them.

Please do not spit in public. If you've been for a run, kindly contain your phlegm until you reach a bin. Do not simply hawk it onto the ground just where someone is walking. It's disgusting, and one day, if you do it in front of me, you might find yourself being vomited on.

Gentlemen: if you leer at a young lady on the underground, making various salacious remarks about her very audibly, do not call her a "fucking dyke" when she tells you to be quiet. Unbelievable as it is, not every single woman on the planet gets the urge to jump into bed with a middle-aged sweaty pervert.

Ladies: your children might be the centre of your universe, but they are not the centre of mine. You may talk about them for a maximum of 3 minutes to me, before I forcefully change the subject.

Moreover, your pram/pushchair is not a siege weapon. It does not exist for the sole purpose of running over peasants/old people/other children. If you have it in a cafe, and the child is not sitting in it, collapse the fucking thing and store it under the table. If your child is old enough to walk, and looks like it's too big for the pushchair, then make it walk. No wonder kids are getting fat these days, if their parents push them around in a buggy until they're 10 years old.

For all you people who hate cyclists: for every one cyclist who jumps a red light, there will be 9 who cycle carefully and considerately, stopping at lights, making clear signals, and not doing illegal turns. Just because a cyclist is able to weave through traffic jams, and you're jealous of the fact that they are (a) going faster than you, (b) don't pay road tax/petrol etc and (c) are potentially going to live longer than you, it is no reason to shout abuse at them, deliberately force them off the road or drive through the puddles next to them to get them wet. You cunts.

Cyclists: do not run red lights. Wear a helmet and lights. If there is a cycle track, which is in a decent condition, use it. You idiots.

Sensationalist reporting: yes, I'm looking at you, the Daily Mail/Express/Mirror. Diana is very dead, so probably is Madeleine McCann. Heather Mills is batshit insane. Get over it. Do some real reporting.

To the small middle-ages ladies with sharp elbows who constantly try to push onto the tube ahead of me in the mornings: don't give me deathstares when I refuse to let you on before me. I WAS THERE FIRST.

To the small old ladies who can't sit in their usual seats on the bus, because I'm there with my rucksack: don't mutter about how young people these days have no respect. There are 40 empty seats just behind mine. Get over it.

Female colleagues. Just because I am a woman, it does not mean that I will share your obsession for all things wedding-related. If my friends are getting married, fine, good for them, I hope they'll be very happy. Indeed, I hope to get married myself one day. However, just because we are getting closer to summer, please do not show me every single celebrity wedding dress article in Hello/OK!/Heat. I don't care. I find your inane burblings tedious and shallow. And on that note, stop asking me when it's going to be "my turn". I will get married when I want. The more you ask, the more you start sounding like wizened old spinsters, trying to live vicariously through your colleague's lives. If you like weddings so much, go off and have one yourself. I'll bet there are hundreds of men needing UK visas who'll marry you.

Green issues. Our planet is buggered. What do we do about it? Bang on about buying energy saving lightbulbs, and then leave the lights on all day. Obsess about using renewable energy, then turn all the heating up instead of wearing an extra jumper. Agree that we are all flying too much, and then find that the rail companies are charging an arm and a leg to go 50 miles away.

These are a few things that really get my goat. However, while I've found that it is easy to list things that annoy me, a list of things that I like would stretch to the moon and back. I can say with all honesty that I'm pretty fucking happy with life. It would do us all a lot of good if we were to concentrate on the things that make life worthwhile, as opposed to focussing solely on irritating things.

Anyway, hope you're well, and have a lovely Bank Holiday.

Love,

BobFossil
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:51, 23 replies)

A few more
BMW drivers, especially X5 drivers with X5 *** numberplates

"Individuals" who actually look like everyone else, listen to the same music as everyone else and has rthe same stupid haircut as everyone else, but claims to be rebelling.

People who let what should be small protions of their lives become the be all and end all of their lives. You know the type: "I won't get a job because they'll make me cut my hair and then no-one will know that I like Norwegian-indutrial-speedcore-thrash-death-grind-folk nu-metal that is as black as the tortured depths of my soul and my t-shirt. And it'd interfere with my WoW time". Or BMW owners.

People who feel the need to tell you that they are vegitarian / gay / a mother / a * fan every five minutes. (* insert sport / sports club / band here)

Parents who don't exert any control over their kids in public. Yes it's very cute that little Johnny can run around the pub, singing the first line of "La Bamba" repeatedly, but he won't look so cute when he's wearing soup of the fucking day, will he?

Students.

People who use the words "community" on a regular basis.

Snobs. "Oh you use Windows and M$ Office, do you? I only use a freeware OS, coded by communist rainforest dwellers and FrewareOffice, which is made of recycled cocnuts. They're much more powerful!" And don't even get me started on music snobs.

Crap drivers. And not just "drives like I've got a deathwish and want to take you all with me" drivers but also those who are just incosiderate - poor road positioning, driving at 60% of the speed limit, no matter the conditions, failing to indicate, random lane changes, hogging the middle lane, not letting non-BMW drivers out of side streets, dithering at junctions, I could go on all day...
(ScousersPet, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:50, 3 replies)

A certain popular author.
One thing, the one thing that's guaranteed to make my blood boil is a certain hack children's author by the name of JK Rowling.

Is it because she's richer than Midas, yet wants to sue someone for putting together a database?

Is it because she tries to play the "plucky single mother" card, when she's the most middle class person on the planet?

Could it be that I dislike her because the current Education Authorities have put her first book on the A-Level syllabus?

Maybe it's because she made millions by ripping off better authors?

Boarding School? Enid Blyton. Ancient ethereal evil searching for rebirth? Tolkien. Wise old wizard who finally sacrifices himself to save the young hero? Obi Wan Kenobi. Plucky yet neglected young orphan? Big book of easily-identifiable characters. Ginger loser and bossy pre-teen female? Aforementioned big book.

Is it her cringeworthy puns? Diagon Alley?

Is it her eye for endless fucking merchandising opportunities that would put Krusty the Klown to shame?

Is it the "Adult Covers" so that fuckwits can look intelligent on the train as they desperately try to hide the fact they're reading a book for ten year olds?

No. It's because she looks like a cross between negligent MILF Kate McCann, and a cracked leather sandal.

(Edited due to improper spelling. Damn me)
(Psycorp603, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:49, 10 replies)

Myself
Sat here at work
Friday Afternoon
Shit loads of University work I should do over teh weekend
Sat looking at B3ta and giggling at your lists
Still not doing the work
Gonna have to do it in a rush next week as due in on thursday.

Did this all the way thru my first degree, now doing it again on my second.

Arse.
( DrPrunesquallor is determined to post more as of, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:48, Reply)

6)
The third world, poverty and our attitude towards it.

Right, we live in a pretty good society, give or take all the little things like crime and teenagers 99.9999% of us have a place to sleep, food on the table, an education, either a job or the welfare state,all coupled with a free national health service.

this is obviously from a UK perspective so apologies.

Now, we can clone sheep, put a person into space, make terribly complicated machines the size of Paris Hiltons brain (very small, see 1) in my list of pissy fits)we have amazing technological and medical inventions, yet a large chunk of the world is currently starving to death.

Why?

Very fucking simple.

Would you prefer a) Your mortgage / loan / credit card paid off / a nice shiny supercar if you have no debt or b) a village in Africa to have fresh water.

Im betting almost all of you would, being absolutely honest choose a) I would, and thats why nothing will ever get done. don't kid yourselves about it, all these hand wringing "look at this its terrible" adverts mean little or nothing to us, we just turn away, turn over or go and put the kettle on.

We just don't fucking care, harsh but true

giving £5 a month makes absolutely no fucking difference in the grand scheme of things, and because we all have this mealy mouthed "them not us, but im doing my little bit" attitude it will continue for ever.

If we can't even handle the little things in life like getting along and accepting other peoples opinions on life, religion and suchforth then there is no way to solve a huge Species wide stigmata of vast swathes of us dying for no particular reason whatsoever.

So. Stop these fucking adverts, phone-ins, charity events and do something about it people in charge, just charge everyone who earns 50% tax and do something about it and if you don't like it then you get all of your possessions taken away, get shipped out to some dusty hell on earth and get plenty of time to think about your decision as you die horribly, and slowly, and miserably.

edit: And anyone who points out "Well why don't you go out and do something about it, dig some wells etc" you are absolutely correct I haven't because im lazy, but have you? has anyone here? big fucking kudos if you have, but, we are sheep who like our creature comforts, and it irritates me that we accept this so willingly I can just start up my PS" or read a book and it all goes awasy, so you can add Global Warming to this, we aint gonna do shit about it until it means you can't watch football,go down the pub or wank over a picture of cat deeley

grrrr
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:46, 4 replies)

Here's my number one pet peeve.
I used to live in London. My family lives in Walsall. I used to drive up to see them on the weekend every so often. Every time, WITHOUT FAIL, my mom, my sister or both would ask "...and what time do you think you'll arrive then, dear?"

Now, bearing in mind this is a Friday night, I have to get home from work (through rush hour on the tube), get changed, grab my stuff, and then try to drive out of London on the A1 (rush hour again), up the M1 (rush hour, constant roadworks) and along the M6 (ditto). It's a journey that has taken me one-and-three-quarter hours (best ever time) and four-and-three-quarter hours (worst ever time).

Given the disparity between those two extremes, how the shuddering bleeding buggering fuck am I supposed to know what time I'm going to arrive? I'm not Mystic sodding Meg. Seriously, it's like trying to second-guess quantum fucking physics. And then to cap it off, if I don't arrive within, say, two hours of setting off, what do they do?

THEY CALL ME. ON MY MOBILE. WHILE I'M ON THE GODDAMN CUNTING MOTORWAY. TO ASK WHERE I AM.

WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY THINK I AM? TAKING A WEE BREAK TO SIGHTSEE AROUND FUCKING PARIS?

FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:44, Reply)

I have many many pet peeves, so I'll just cover a few.
Anyone who plays the "Race card" - You utter utter fuckwits!
You've been sacked, get over it. No, it's not because you're black/chinese/pakistani/polish/etc, it's because you were shit at this job!
Person appeals, claiming "racial discrimination" and wins lots and lots of money, often putting people out of business, because of a grudge. Tits.
It also seems to be the case that everyone who claims "The *insert generic racist comment here* took my job" are making that complaint sat on their fat arse at home, because they're too lazy to look for a job, and need a scapegoat. I'm not saying that is the case for all of them, but a fairly high percentage!


Anyone who claims they've had their human rights violated.
eg #1 - news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7370362.stm
eg #2 - news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6142416.stm
I could give a million other examples. Human rights is now a byword for "I can and will do whatever the fuck I want, be it burn buildings down, give you cheek, fire an airgun at children, punch you,etc etc. But if you hit me back, i'll sue"
Frankly, I'm sick of it, it's ridiculous.


'Reverse' Racism - It's not reversed, it's just racism. Banning an English person, from an english pub on St Georges day is ridiculous. What's next? "There is no such thing as christmas anymore, it's banned". England used to be the country of the proud. Britain had the largest empire ever known to man! And now look at us, we're the laughing stock of the world.
We find a famous quote becoming more and more true as time goes by - There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other. That word is ENGLAND" - Sir Winston Churchill


I could carry on for pages, but i'll leave you with one more...


People who don't recognise the significance of history - Let me explain this one. I come from a fairly educated family, all of us went to Merchant Taylors, Crosby. One of my sisters managed to attend Cambridge to study medicine (but that's another story).

Ok, now with that in mind, here we go. A while ago we were discussing history, specifically 20th century europe. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the matter, but I feel I know enough about the rise of Hitler to form a decent discussion.

I put forward a theory that "If it wasn't for the war, and the way he had led up to it, he would be regarded as one of the greatest leaders of the 20th century." My reasoning behind this lies with a few historical facts and statistics.

*History*
After the Great War, Europe et al dropped the Versailles treaty on Germany. If you want the facts of that, go here - Treaty Of Versailles.

After that was signed, Germany lost faith in itself, leading to a rise of extreme Nationalism in places, people wanting to regain their nations personality. This (and many other mitigating factors) allowed the Nazis access to the hearts of the German people.

Hitler has been famous throughout history as a fantastic orator, this is how he first made his name, and under his, and his cabinets leadership, the Nazi party rose to take Germany by storm. When they arrived in power, Germany was still a crippled nation from the treaty. The policies put forwards by his party were revolutionary, reflected in one area where many governments have failed, unemployment. Through removing of certain civil liberties (eg certain machinery) the countrys unemplyment was reduced from 6 million to 1 million. People were even employed as balloon bursters in the parks, so that the pigeons would be scared away.

By doing things like that, he gave german people their pride back. He brought Germany back onto the World Stage.

That was (part of) my argument for Hitler. My sister's argument against him?
"He was an evil bastard."

That was her theory as to why it could never be the case. Now, that to me is an immature point, and it doesn't make any bastard sense! Argh!

I apologise for length, and possible spelling errors, as I'm writing this in notepad. Please please, if there's anything you disagree with, or I've got wrong, inform me!

EDIT: Sorry, my bile got in the way of my writing, Christmas is not banned, I was giving a hypothetical suggestion.

EDIT 2: Pavlov's Frog has pointed out a massive fuck up from myself, it wasn't the english empire. Balls.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 May 2008, 13:44, 12 replies)