well, it was a joke wasn't it?
My girl flat mate, who annoyed me, was getting back late one night so i took out all the light bulbs in the whole house, hid the tv and placed sharp objects all over the house; bins and bikes in the corridor etc. I came back to find her huddled in the dark clutching her ankle.

A while later i put 1p pieces in her all her bras. Between the padding and the outside.

I froze her knickers in the mixing bowl.

We did an art 'afternoon' once, which consisted of smoking and glueing magasines to paper in art-effect collages. Hers was rubbish-when she went out i took it off the wall and burnt it. In the toilet.

i sprinkled dry rice in her bed.

I do hope she saw the funny side.
(my name is really Janet, Tue 10 May 2005, 21:45, Reply)

IT lessons can be fun!
Teacher didn't turn up yesterday which left me and a mate to our own devices, something which shouldn't really happen. After about ten minutes of the usual restarting the computer after you've just logged on or just done something we started playing with the keyboard. Managed to write bum on the bottom line then discovered we had enough letters left for arse. Progessed until we had written arse lick of bum on the keyboard. Kept us amused for a good 15 minutes and we learnt that keys fly off if you don't cover them. Educational but fun!! And if it's been put back by thursday we'll just have to do it again but use much more letters this time. We could, and probably will sabotage the whole room. Fun, fun fun!
(honourarybiscuit, Tue 10 May 2005, 21:42, Reply)

Another one
Any spiders I find in the house (there are thousands) I pick up and put in my sisters room!

Serves her right for trying to tell me how to live.
(Feelslikehome, Tue 10 May 2005, 21:41, Reply)

revenge on golfers
As a kid, my best friend lived across the street from a private country club's golf course. one day we all got caught tresspassing on the course, parents were called, everyone got grounded, etc., so as revenge we all took turns peeing in a bottle, and dumped it into one of the ball washers.
20 years later, i still get a chuckle thinking about some bastard unknowingly giving his titleist a golden shower.
(boink, Tue 10 May 2005, 20:43, Reply)

Solataire Screensaver...
I find renaming the filename extension of Solitaire in windows from .exe to .scr and then setting it as a screensaver for every 2 minutes can cause other people where I work to get into a lot of trouble. And its amazing how the majority don't quite figure out how its done.

(we get seriousley bollocked for playing solitaire)
(Lefty, Tue 10 May 2005, 20:40, Reply)

A friend
of mine chipped off the pound coin which our rather too familiar Head of House had glued to the floor in the middle of the communal showers, and then spent it.

The sabotage was what happened to his arse as a result.
(digestive, Tue 10 May 2005, 18:31, Reply)

Blimey, I used to do that too
Used to go into Dixons and leave "Dixons is shit" and the scrolly, and change the screen saver password to "Currys".

Completely petty.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 10 May 2005, 18:10, Reply)

An april fools my flatmate did.
Living in uni acommodation at the time with 7 other guys. One of them hid all the kitchen appliances then made a spoof letter from our warden saying that we were being charged with the replacements.

Pretty convincing it was too, not sure everyone still talks to him anymore, though.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Tue 10 May 2005, 17:35, Reply)

Am so sooorrryyyy - not
Used to work in on off licence and got pissed off with customers wandering in for a chocolate bar etc and not booze. I did the following for 4 years :

Maltesers - I would pop half of them between my fingers in the bag so when you opened it you got malteser dust
Polo Mints - I would bang them repeatedly on the desk to shatter them all so when you opened the pack they collapsed.
Kettle chips - i made little holes in the bottoms of the bag so they went stale in the pack
Pringles - I kicked the shit out the boxes so the crisps broke
Caramel, Mars, Snickers - I would store by the heater so the insides melted

I then upgraded to when customers asked if i "had something cold" eg beer, champagne, I would go out the back and shake the bottles vigourously before bringing it out front and selling it

To anyone who bought any of the following from the old wine merchants on Wandsworth Common I could say I'm sorry , but Nah!

I don't think the retail sector suited me....
(Flawed, Tue 10 May 2005, 17:34, Reply)

Wonder Stuff - aaaarrrgggh
back in 1994, me and some mates (mixed) hired a van and went on 2 wk holiday to France. Halfway down , the radio reception packed in, so that was frigged. The cassette still worked though. No-one bought a cassette tape except for the twunt of the group who bought his "If the Beatles had read Hunter", Wonder Stuff copmilation.

Now, I didn't mind the Wonder Stuff, BUT after listening to this on consecutive loop over and over and over again, drove me up the fuckin pole.

So, one day, I got up really early, opened the van, nicked the cassette and hoyed the fucker into the Atlantic Ocean.

I still develop a nervous twitch every time I hear one of those tracks
(bear trappers hat, Tue 10 May 2005, 17:29, Reply)

Schoolboy stuff really...
When I was Uni, Netscape hadn't long been out and allowed users to send email from whatever address they cared to enter. One of my mates spoofed the address of some cabinet minister and sent it to another mate, telling him he was a cunt. The addressee (obviously knowing it was a joke) replied with some rather defamatory remarks thinking it would go back to the chap who sent it. However the return address was the MP's so instead it was delivered back to him.

About a week later there was a reply stating that the email definately did not originate from him and would he like the Police to investigate.

Also sent loads to my mates pretending to be Customs and Excise. I'd state something along the lines of, "we realise that you have illegally been accessing pornography and could be prossecuted under current UK law. However if you wish to contest this in a court of law, please feel free to do so." Most discarded it, but one guy was very upset and eventually got round to telling me all about it. I told him to get back to them and take it to court as the case would never stand up. Needless to say he didn't...

Later I worked for a company where all the computers had the same local admin password. This meant that we could copy files to each copy as we pleased, including placing them in the user's start up directory (so that it ran when they booted.)

I created a simple program that could be remotely controlled to pop up windows messages whenever I wanted. I waited for choice moments, such as just after the systems guys had installed service packs, then would bombard the hapless user with error messges such as "Windows Error! User is a gimp." or "Please stop surfing porn, user may go blind."
(Swirly, Tue 10 May 2005, 17:21, Reply)

Back when I used to work in a club......
We had this one dj who insisted on turning the bass up full even though it sounded awful. After a couple of weeks she had pissed off all the staff and left. Skip forward a month and she arranges a band at the club, and afterwards she was down to DJ in another room. Knowing how much she loved her bass me and my mate went through to see if we could stop her without her knowing. Nicely the knobs on the desk pulled off, and if you turned it down enough and put the knob back on it looked like the bass was on full when really it was only half way.

At the end of the night she said the sound was really bad and I had been through to check on it and ignored her(not true! she never even mentioned it!). My boss just ignored her!
( bobzarkoff, Tue 10 May 2005, 17:09, Reply)

Locker Vandalism
A twat of a lifeguard at our leisure centre, with the help of our supervisor, thought it would be funny to freeze my mate's lifeguarding shorts in a block of ice. So my mate found his shorts next day got pissed off and swore his revenge....

Later that night, myself and my mate got the master key to this twats locker. We took all his personal belongings out and cellotaped them to the ceiling and the walls of the staff room and changing areas. We then filled his locker full of shredded paper from our reception and hung a loo brush in his locker which we had coated in melted mars bar to look like shit.

Next morning, 5.30am this twat gets to work finds this crap in his locker, realises his uniform is plastered all around the room and then proceeds to phone my mate at 5.45am, just before the pool opens, begging him to tell him where his shorts are.

I'd taken them home :)
(silkysean pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, Tue 10 May 2005, 16:50, Reply)

Cum flannel
Lads holidays are always good for sabotage.
A friend of mine, who owned a face flannel moisturised everyday (effin nancy boy). He always left it on his bedside table.
It literally came in very handy whilst he was out and I fancied a five-fingered knuckle-shuffle.
Oh and I also combed my pubes with his hair and tooth brush. He still doesn't know!
(Axe murderer, Tue 10 May 2005, 16:41, Reply)

A lad we knew (now dead bless'im)
put a fresh fish under the cable panels below my mates desk at work before said mate went for a weeks break...
( Sidere Perpetuus, Tue 10 May 2005, 16:02, Reply)

the ol' apple juice/urine switcheroo
I was at a friend's sleepover, and everybody raided the fridge at midnight to see what we could find (everybody, that is, except for friend and parents). Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up pouring the contents of a carton of apple juice down the sink and replacing it with piss. Next morning, all sitting round the breakfast table, and 'friend's dad pours a glass of 'apple juice'. Tension mounts as the surprising realistic replacement gets closer to his mouth, then he starts to drink. Then he slowly stops, registering the taste. He recognises it, and BAM! Spews all over the table.

I feel a little guilty, but heck, was it ever worth it.
(hexy 1.0, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:56, Reply)

Fused
When I was at uni I took the fuse out of my mates stereo plug. When it didn't work he asked me to look at the stereo. I told him that it was common for fuses to become dirty, so I made an effort to look as if I was taking the fuse out and cleaning it.

Popped the fuse back in and hey-presto the stereo worked and I looked like an electronics genius.
(manky dog, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:51, Reply)

.
working checkouts in my ex-local coop (shut in december the twunts). on breaks - no cameras out back - so would eat the stock (e.g bags of maltesers) then reseal the packs and put them back in the box

would steal printer roll as well, or write degrading things so when old granny's bought her cat food with her pension, checks the receipt and finds "i came on your tits when you were sleeping" noone even complained :( would have been nice to get some recognition

friends of a friend of a friend meticulously planned an operation to use weedkiller and paint a pretty picture on their school playing field. then it turned up in the morning it was a recreation of the phallus grass man (can't remember sorry :P)
(5ifty0, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:20, Reply)

VERY PETTY SABOTAGE
Once upon a time, the british government decided they were going to stop subsidising farmers for holding motorsport events on their land. Why dont they just stop building play parks and football pitches as well? Read the story here here or jump straight into signing the petition here

Cheers Guys, B Boy
(original_b_boy, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:12, Reply)

Cue me getting annoyed
Right that's it. Anyone who uses the word "cue" in their post (ie. "cue me doing something infantile") doesn't get an "I like this".

I'm not joking.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:11, Reply)

very petty
1. Soap + pubes on brothers toothbrush. Got my arse kicked for the soap but he never detected the pube-age :)

2. Once set all the screensavers in Alders computer section (American readers think Wal-mart) to have the scrolling marquee to read something along the lines of "Alders is gay!". Upon reflection I am disappointed I didn't use the much wittier: "alDers is teh waffles". Alas, I was young and inexperienced at that age.

first post, be gentle. appreciate comments on my girth / length / taste.
(m0o, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:10, Reply)

Shameful
I once loosened the bolts on the front wheel of my mates bike. He could do better wheelies than me. The next time he attempted it the front wheel fell off and he went head first over the handle bars.
He had to go to hospital and have stitches in his chin!

This is the first time i have told anyone about this!
(mcparty, Tue 10 May 2005, 15:05, Reply)

not me but a mate
managed to talk one of the many class morons at or college into giving him his username and password, cue getting him into bother with the oh so vigilant admin folk over using college computers to look at porn, followed by a virus infection that cost the college about £1000 to repair and the best part was that nobody belived sed moron when he told the head of year who the real culprits were and from then on he had to be constantly supervised by a member of the support staff whenever he logged on to a computer
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Tue 10 May 2005, 14:44, Reply)

Japanese
How about standing out Japanese appartments (usually on holiday), yelling "Tenko!" very loudly?!
(Wrecked Tums, Tue 10 May 2005, 14:22, Reply)

My Brother and Weird Al
Weird Al and his parodies of songs can be fun, but only in small doses. My brother took the liberty of downloading many parody songs by Weird Al, and proceeded to listen to them over, and over, and over.
So, being the annoying sister that I am, I downloaded all the actual songs instead of the parodies, changed their names like so:
“Jamie’s got a Gun” - “Elmo’s got a Gun”
“Beat it” - “Eat it”
“Lola” - “Yoda”

And hid his Weird Al songs under Dan Fogelburg.
(Arctix, Tue 10 May 2005, 14:09, Reply)

Staying next to these right miserable slags....
.... in an apartment in Magaluf in 1999. Proper mardy with faces like smacked arses- wouldn't let us shag them or anything. Seemed to take a dislike to a dozen Chesterfield lads wandering about lashed in their pants.

Anyway, we came to leave on our last night, so we emptied every liquid we could find onto their balcony- about 30 litres of water, sun cream, piss, lager (waste in hindsight) shower gel- it was about 6 inches deep.

Hope they didn't slip and fall over the balcony- didn't really think it through first
(dogger collymore, Tue 10 May 2005, 14:01, Reply)

Setting silly messages to come up on boot on a friend's computer
Dull and boring? Well, it was made more interesting due to the fact that this guy is technologically highly literate and would know where to check for the usual run-on-boot suspects.

This is a little gem that will catch out even experienced computer users. Not many people except those who are network administrators know about the Windows group policy settings (gpedit.msc). Even fewer know that you can use it to run things on boot before the login screen comes up (at least on win 2k).

This guy actually ended up reinstalling his OS to get rid of the barrage of message boxes that would come up before he could log on. I resisted the temptation to reinstate them on the fresh OS. Aren't I an angel!
(Mr T, Tue 10 May 2005, 13:50, Reply)

Once
I let the boy that lived next door to my grandmother's house's bike tyres down.

Next morning he reports during 'news time' (primary school) that his tyre had "two flatties". He then proceeded to wheel his bike inside to show off his amazingly flat tyres when I helpfully suggested that "maybe someone let them down?"

Dumb move that was. The whole class caught on and didn't trust me for a couple of months.

Now you'd think there would be a motive for me flattening his tyres. And there was. Wait for it. My sister told me that she didn't like him. That's it. No personal renegade, no undying hatred, just doing it to impress my sister.

Now I'm a hitman.
(brazzin, Tue 10 May 2005, 13:32, Reply)

Poor little brother
He was off on a skiing trip with school, so I decided to put a small clear plastic bag containing flour into his hold-luggage. I had visions of security guards with latex gloves starting work on him.

Sadly he found the bag in the nick of time.

Ho hum.
(lardaholics anonymous, Tue 10 May 2005, 13:11, Reply)

Sabotaged Doughnuts
Not me, but a friend years ago. Said friend worked in a bakery at night while at college. They used to make doughnuts. Now, it's a little known fact that the jam is 'injected' into doughnuts after they have been baked. Sometimes he used to inject other things into the doughnuts, so he said, like mustard, or brown sauce.

That is all.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, detected at, Tue 10 May 2005, 13:06, Reply)