In primary school
I knew a guy who would often only eat spaghetti in tomato sauce, the tinned kind. Not just that, he'd only eat Heinz, he had a strange ability to tell exactly what make the spaghetti he was eating was. Bizarre.

Another claimed to be a vegetarian, but would eat chicken nuggets because "They don't look like chicken".
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:29, Reply)

Sadly I'm a nightmare....
Fish - Only the mild white fish like cod.

Seafood - if it doesn't have a proper face there is no way in hell I'm eating it. Prawns and shit like that freaks me out good and proper. Used to enjoy scampi loads until I saw a picture of what one looks like.

Vegetables - Only potatoes and parsnips are exempt from my ban. Sprouts make me feel sick as hell. Onions are a texture that I can't stand, as are mushrooms.

Brassica - All out no.

Alcohol - Spirits are fine, as is cider, but beer? Wine? Nope.

The absolute worst thing though, with no shadow of a doubt - The thing that everyone says tastes of nothing, but I can detect its presence even when other food has brushed against it...



Cucumber.


Also, the Mrs is allergic to dairy, so trying to find something we can both eat is a nightmare.

In relation to other posts about going down - don't mind at all, quite the opposite in fact, but am not allowed to.... life just fucks about with you sometimes eh?
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:20, Reply)

4 legs
I have a policy that I think is quite reasonable- I won't eat anything with more than four legs. This rules out (A) Spiders, Locusts, Woodlice and the suchlike. It also rules out (B) Prawns, Lobsters, Shrimp etc because I seriously find the concept of eating list B creatures as distasteful as most people find eating list A; Cockroaches of the Sea, mark my words... I thought about creating a new policy - no animal without legs - to cover things like Mussels, Oysters, Snails etc, but that would also rule out Fish, which I couldn't live without (Mmmmm, Fish; *Gurgle*). Maybe it's just invertebrates...

PS: *pop* (Woo!)
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:20, Reply)

I have type 1 Diabetes
and take 4 injections every day to help maintain balanced levels of sugar in my blood. That's the good news.

The bad news is that I'm supposed to eat a balanced diet of lots of fresh fruit and veg and generally eat healthily the only problem is that I love sandwiches which is very very bad for me.

Typical days diet:

Breakfast:
Tripple pack chicken sandwich from Boots, and an Innocent Smoothy (Mmmmm!)

Lunch:
Massive brown bap with sausage and bacon or chicken and bacon.

Tea:
2 or 3 home made sandwiches with ham, cheese, avo and cucumber. Between 2 or 3 packs of Walkers or Wheat Crunchies or Barbecue Hula Hoops. Oh and 3 or 4 Beers.

I don't know when exactly it started but I crave bread all the time and I have been on this strange sandwich diet for at least 3 years.

Does anyone know how to kill the cravings for sarnies? It can't be doing me any good!
(aroe_m0rre, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:16, Reply)

oh and one more thing
i really hate it when you re cooking for someone and they say "whats in it" not in a curious that smells delicious way but a i hope theres nothing in it that i dont like.

when i was younger i was a really fussy eater i used to hate onions(but that was probably because my mum didnt chop them up enough) and mushrooms.

again with the beans but my little brother insists that he doesnt like beans, but when i asked him when he last tried them he couldnt remember and just said "i dont like it" and then when he finally did try some he thought they were "ok". idiots.
(suboftheday, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:15, Reply)

Peas
Me and my sister have a thing about peas for different reasons.

She wont eat them because she hates them, and spends ages picking them out of pot noodles and pea pakora before she'll eat the food.

I like peas and I eat them, except when they're in a pod. I also don't eat brocolli for the same reason: wee beasties.

Lucky that I'm a nibbler really. One day I was nibbling round the edges of the pea pod, pealed it open and was about to scoop all the peas out with my tongue when I realised a dead frozen caterpillar would get in the way.

Eating brocolli years later and my whole family find strange little brown things on the side and hidden in the brocolli branches. Turns out there were hundreds of beasties cacooning in our dinner.

Worse for my brother, who ate it all before we found out.

~shudders~
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:15, Reply)

Legless/flibbley
Yes it was W C Fields. After that i only now drink it as a mixer. Whisky kills off the whale jizz (I know it's not a fish, but one hell of a load)

Back on topic an old friend of mine thought he was terribly posh and would only eat meat 'if it had been shot'. My old man used to work in an abbatoir and i told him that all the meat in the shops has been shot, bar the Chicken/Duck etc, so he should stop being such a twat.

And he ate Chicken anyway.

Cnut
(J Y Kelly, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:15, Reply)

Coffee
Coffee, two sugars, THEN milk, then water.

Can't abide these milk after types.

Cunts.
( The Lurker Plenty One, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:09, Reply)

Fussy? me?
Celery - not only does it taste vile it turns into thick green dental floss.

Eggs - I can manage the odd hard boiled but if there is a hint of jelliness...bleargh.

Any wafer based confectionery (Drifter, Time Out et al) and also that horrid chocolate flavour coating on Wagon Wheels. Foul.

Bovril. Devil's discharge.

However, Flibbley's Chicken Dhansak...yum.
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:09, Reply)

smelly puss
Ladies, after a night out on the drink with bit of dancing and urinating whilst pissed, do not expect a man to get giggy with some tounge action .

Dirty smell pussy is not a turn on.

And don't let the terrorists win, say no to sex with fat chicks, they smell wierd in funny places.
( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:08, Reply)

fine foods
i had a flatmate who aquired a taste for fine foods and by this i mean. heinze beans insted of sainsburys own, robinsons cordial instead of the 19p own-brand one. you get the picture.

knowing he wouldnt notice i used some sainsburys beans instead. he only noticed when he looked in the bin and saw the tin. only then did he claim he could really taste the difference.

the same guy said "branston beans, they must be disgusting"
me "they're just beans they'll taste just like any other beans"
"do they not have branston pickle in them"

another time we were at a mates house when he decided he wanted some toast but was horrified at the sight of the sainsburys basics bread, so he went to spar and bought spar bread instead. i asked him if he could tell the difference and held a slce of each infront of him, needles to say he couldnt.

its not a problem if hes buying his own food but when youre doing the shopping together and you end up paying twice as much as you need to becuase mr fussy pants will only eat top brand food it becomes my problem. dont live with him anymore mind.

length, girth when is that gonna get old.
(suboftheday, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:06, Reply)

back when i was travelling
through the Oz outback, I came across a restaurant in some small country town with a sign proclaiming "order anything from the menu - if we don't have it we’ll give you $100".
Always up for a challenge I sat down and smirked as I asked the waiter for elephant's balls on toast.

The waiter goes out the back, and for a good 5 minutes I hear a clattering of pots and pans and the chef cursing from the kitchen. A now very red faced waiter then emerges from the kitchen, hands me a $100 bill and says:


"We've run out of bread"
(Handel blah blah blah, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:05, Reply)

I used to be a picky eater....
I ate fish fingers and chips every day until I was about 5. But this one is about my mate.

She's not exactly a picky eater, but she does have two rather odd habits.

First of all, if she's in a restaurant, she "spares" a vegetable from being eaten (for example, if there is 5 potatoes on her plate, she only eats 4). However, during a pub lunch a few years ago, she left a baby carrott. A mate jokingly says "It's going to die of loneliness", she now leaves 2.

The second is that she believes jelly babies are evil and the main course of obesity in the world, and therefore they must suffer a painful death. She eats the limbs first, before eating the torso.

Other than that she's lovely. And Lactose intolerant.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:05, Reply)

Girlfriend and fish
I had an ex and she hated eating whole fish.
She didn't like the look of them with their beedy eyes and scales.

But that's pretty normal...

The weird thing is she even hated live fish, the fish in finding nemo and if I made a fish impression with my face.

Still didn't stop her smelling like one when I went down on her!
(kintore_homeboy tenuous links since 1986!, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:05, Reply)

Blokes who don't drink tea or coffee
I may be judging people by my own standards here, but I really dont understand blokes that dont drink tea or coffee, tea especially. I can understand it with women as a steaming mug of tea is quite a manly thing.

The reason I dont understand it is because I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT CUPS OF TEA, I cant wake up properly and leave the house in the morning without a cup of tea, my bowels dont work before the first cup of tea, I would be dangerous without my tea. I have at least 2 cups of coffee at work throughout the morning, 2 cups of tea at lunchtime, more coffee in the afternoon and the first thing I do when I get home from work is put the kettle on. I wish pubs sold cups of tea. I LOVE tea.

So when I meet people and they tell me they dont drink tea I have to fight the urge to grab them and shout "How do you do it? How do you get through the day? HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?"


Edit - Reading what I have just written, I realise I sound like a smack addict.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 15:05, Reply)

I used to be a fussy eater as a kid
I wouldn't eat many things, frozen peas included (but tinned were fine). But here's a list of things I used to hate, but now can't live without:

Onions
Mushrooms
Curry (my first experience with curry was a vesta mix with raisins, so no wonder I didn't like it)
Stilton (try it on a burger - so much better than cheddar or processed)
Granary Bread
Marmite
Spices
Leeks
Garlic
Olives
Peppers
Parsnips
Various other veg (cabbage, green beans, brocolli, spinach etc - still not keen on cauliflower, broad beans or cucumber tho)
( Weetobix, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:58, Reply)

Oh yes......
She will not eat veg (apart from potatoes) at all.

There's nothing amusing in this other than it's another thing that makes me think I've bagged a nutter.

Maybe it's not hormones, maybe it's scurvy!

Length? Carrot / parsnip I'd say
(Danny Fishcharge Half arsed, smart arsed, on & off a lard arse sinc, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:56, Reply)

I haven't eaten vegetables since I was five. (Except potatoes)
Also:

* I am usually adverse to any green food, even liquids. The only time I have ever had even lime cordial has been when someone dyed it with food dye. Green M&M's took me three weeks to get used to.

*My friends learnt not to ask what I won't eat when eating at their houses, now they just list foods and I say "yes" or "no". Usually "no."

* At a Youth camp I was called "The Chicken" because that was all I ate the whole week.

*When I was on a detox diet for a fortnight, I almost fainted everyday because I was only allowed fruit, water, and vegetables. I refused to eat vegetables (except, as I said, potatoes), and only really ate apples. By the time I was allowed to eat anything other than that, I'd lost 5 kilos but quickly put that and more back on due to my craving for fatty foods. I snapped at my friends, and was not able to do most of my everyday things.

* Don't eat eggs, unless they're fully mixed into something ie. Bread, cake, etc. I do, however, love COOKING eggs, and am quite renowned in my family for the expertise I have with them.

* A lot of what I don't eat is to do with texture, so I don't eat jelly products, not even jelly babies.

* Dark chocolate makes me vomit.

* When eating out, most of my food goes to waste because I won't eat anything other than the meat, and potatoes if there is any.

* I only started eating rice in the last few months, and even then it's only with a strong curry.

* When I had an ear infection that pushed my jaw out of place so I couldn't eat, I survived on tomato soup because it's the only soup I eat. ( www.b3ta.com/questions/schooltrips/post67782/ )

* The only cheese I have EVER eaten is Mozzerella (Pizza Cheese). And that's only if it's melted, and on pizza.

* I would rather go hungry than eat something I don't like. If I was dying and the only thing that could save me was a dish of beans, carrots, and celery? I would not even touch it.

* Spaghetti and 2 minute noodles MUST NOT be chewed or chopped up in any way. They are swallowed whole and rolled into huge balls. They must also not be home made. I will only eat canned spaghetti and Maggi noodles.

* There are a lot of things I love the smell of but think are disgusting to eat/drink, such as coffee and Hot Cross buns.

* Similar to above, there are a lot of things I don't eat but I love the artificail flavor of, like strawberries and cheese. I love strawberry milkshakes and my fave chips are Cheese CC's.

There's heaps more, but I can't be bothered going through the rest. You'd be here all day reading. As well as these, there's rules on how some of my food is prepared, etc. I'll keep adding to this, so check back haha.

Length? Do you know how long an unchewed 2-minute-noodle is? I can leave half of it out of my mouth and pull it back out of wherever it is on the journey to my stomach.
(EasilyRecognisable I’m back baby, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:54, Reply)

Now I'm not picky but..
I was in Japan, working, and we had a very special dinner thrown for us. They were serving poison blowfish in various forms, fin in hot sake, sashimi etc.. In truth all very bland and not tingly on the lips or tongue in the slightest. Could've been the sheer volume of Asahi beer we were consuming! (To serve it legally you have to remove the majority of poisonous bits, guts gonads, bits and bobs..) What topped the meal off was the small dish of enourmous LIVE prawns brought out to us. One each. The restarateur demonstrated how to eat them. The body section had been peeled, you grasp the head and the tail, dip it in soy sauce (as if to rub salt in the wound) then bite the body out. Easy. NOt to be seen to shy from a challenge and we were pissed enough to go for it. Old friend went first. Never seen a man of the world so lost for words. He said later it spasmed as he bit down. My go. Picked the bastard up and it leapt out of my hands, straight into the dish of soy sauce. Finally got a hold of 'im. Tasted surprisingly pleasant. Then they took the heads away to deep fry. They don't like waste..

Apologies, was this off topic?
Knackers.
( moosecow and that was... Karate., Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:54, Reply)

Parsnips
Like Asha_safiya says on page 1 - Parsnips.

I'm picky about them in the way that they are FUCKING EVIL.

Especially when roast parsnips PRETEND TO BE roast potatoes, you bite into them expecting delicious fluffy goodness and your buds get assulted with the shitty, shitty bitterness of the so-called vegetable.

Only paedophiles and terrorists like parsnips.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:54, Reply)

Legless
I'm pretty sure it was W.C. Fields

As for the QOTW it's celery, vile stuff.
(flibbley lame balloon man far and wee, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:52, Reply)

Cucumber
the devil's food.

They taste fucking disgusting, and if anyone tells me that they don't taste of anything I tend to give them a long tirade of why they are such a fuckwit.

if a knife has been used to cut cucumber I can't have it used on anything I am going to eat or I will taste it.

Similarly if a sandwich has cucumber in it and I remove it, or bite into the bit that doesn't have it in I can still taste it and therefore can't eat it.

don't get my started on bananas either.

or cheese, unless it's melted. (hate cheese normally, love fondue)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:45, Reply)

window fitter
i had someone come fo fit new windows, and as he was massive and rude at 7.15 am i decided to make the day better by offering a coffee.

He only wanted hot water, and told me very few people can make it. most folk try and do SOMETHING to it. Sugar, adding cold water, a small amount of tea coffee milk or something else. They can't just leave it as they didn't beleive he really wanted it.

I even watched him drink it. Amazing.

My dad has the same grief as he is lactose intolerant and only drinks black tea. 1 in 3 come back with milk in - even from family whom know but can't reconcile it in their brain.
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:45, Reply)

My friend...
....Chaim Goldberg won't eat pork, no idea why
(The Fretful Porpentine, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:42, Reply)

My ex
When she was thirsty at home she would just drink warm water.

No tea, no coffee, no pop, no nothin.

I have no idea why either.
(PieEater, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:39, Reply)

dustbinmen
as a student: i took a job one summer as a bin man, one of the binmen aka slim, used to eat his sarrnies every day at 10 despite the half full shimmering with stink garbage truck he was next to...so, one day as he chatted away whilst sitting on his upturned orange plastic 'carrier' (which incidentally had many pairs of ladies knickers tied on to the handles-it might not be wise to think too carefully of the many reasons why these might have been abandoned) he casually reached into his tupperware box and equally casually bit into the maggot ridden bird that 'Bob' had thoughfully put there. Slim almost filled the other half of the truck up.
we were all dragged into the office on our return to the depot and standing there like naughty boys in the headmasters study were admonished for the prank.
'Why?' asked the boss and threatened to dock pay until someone coughed up-'it were me' said Bob.
'In gods name why' said the manager
'it were going cheep' sed Bob and we were then thrown out of the office.

been very careful with sarnies ever after.

length? from mouth to back of truck? about 1.5 metres, olympic standards that is.
(mickturate if i could be arsed i'd be bored, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:36, Reply)

My brother
My brother eats:

White bread (only warburtons toastie loaf, or round 'freezer buns').
Cheddar cheese - mature only.
Chips.
Cheese&Tomato pizza (but will scrape off as much tomato as poss)
Baked Beans

thats it for 30 years. Has never deviated.

He is the fittest, most athletic, healthy, well built person I know.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:33, Reply)

Boring eater, rather than picky
Despite living in a student flat, I eat a fair old variety of food, usually cooking things from scratch which is hugely satisfying and dirt cheap (this week's food bill: £12).

Not my flatmate.

Flatmate's shopping list:
-two microwave chicken kormas
-12 mini sausage rolls
-12 mini scotch eggs
-FOUR tubs of ice cream
-two big bags of Walkers wanky crisps
-one loaf of bread
-one jar of peanut butter

That's it. If he doesn't have enough sausage rolls to constitute a meal, he'll get a takeaway Chinese, always the big chicken nugget things, always the fried rice.

Not only is he putting on incredible amounts of weight, not only does he not get any fruit or vegetables of any kind, not only does he spend more than double than what I do, this list must never change. If Asda are out of the chicken korma double pack, he'll keep going back every day until they're back in stock.

GodDAMNit, I hate him so much.

(Sub-note: I've recently discovered that he's a trans-sexual. He doesn't know that I know yet. When he gets angry, I tell him not to get his knickers in a twist and have to leave the room to stifle giggles. Little moments like that relieve the tedium of living with him.)
(Chanticleer, kept, awkwardly, pausing, on, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:33, Reply)

Correction
Ok, I'm clearly lying - I do have a picky side.

But if you're a Legless' and he serves up Rock, Southern Comfort, Squash, White Chocolate, "Creme" eggs, and milk chocolate - I suspect he's after your life insurance money.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:32, Reply)

What a bugger
The largest food group consumed my humans? wheat. What was my ex allergic to?

So I got her some weetabix when we split up.
(The_Greyhound wrote www.luckymcdanger.blog.co.uk on, Thu 1 Mar 2007, 14:32, Reply)