Well, wouldn't you accept a free drink if someone offered you one?
There's a very easy answer to someone looking for a drink : no. Or even better 'you're the one who approached me, aren't you supposed to buy the drinks?'

Unfortunately multiple surveys show that in 50% of cases in het dating, there is the expectation that the man pays. Flip a coin, do you feel lucky? I'm still not about to go around buying drinks for someone I don't know, but statistically this is a bad idea.

To be honest, I wouldn't say yes to a drink if the person seemed like they just wanted to chat me up, and there was no possibility of being interested.
(EssY, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 13:16, Reply)

Saying that
I will say that not all women are nutters & psychos - not even my stalker who's the nicest person in the world.

She was proud that she didn't have to use Voodoo this time though.....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 13:08, Reply)

slags or prick teases!!
just the way they come across through this QOTW.
But most of them seeem to be after a free drink, or are easier to lay than kitchen lino. (which is a piece of piss).
Nice.

I think Ill stay single.
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:54, Reply)

Girls are more clever than we think
When I was 14 and my stiring loins dictated most of the things I did, I rode my bike into a big ditch on purpose to try and get this girl to think I was hurt and feel sorry for me.

She just laughed.

Fair enough.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 12:42, Reply)

Not much
Get a lad to buy me a drink. And my friends one, obviously. Then he tries a chatup line. I tell him to sod off (til we're thirsty again).

One time I went home with a bloke's change from a £20. I didn't mean to.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 11:39, Reply)

Not a lot, really..
As on more than one occasion the reason something doesn't develop into a relationship is the other person asking what I will do for them and me replying with a polite version of 'sod off, you get me and nothing else, I will not jump through hoops for you'. It all comes down to stupid power games too many people play, the classic of which are the people that are never around because of work etc and then expect *you* to travel and fit your life round them - er, no.

The most I've ever really done is bought someone I knew was trying to play me a couple of drinks, just to see what happened (not a lot, tried to get me to buy drinks for friends as well, but it was an amusing diversion)

On the other hand, whilst some people on here say it's all about friendship and just wanting sex is a bit shallow - not if both people enjoy it, it isn't. Given some relationships work just as well from a one night stand, as from a friendship (which, let's face it, often fails to develop - and whilst friends are fantastic, it's not the same as having a partner).

Sadly, I don't enjoy one night stands, so the relationship search continues..
(EssY, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 11:03, Reply)

Women are strange
And scary.

And don't put out often enough.

And I spent my entire life and the best part of my wages trying to get in their pants.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 10:53, Reply)

I'm mad, me
I used to get them into my lorry then bash them in the head with a hammer.

Then I could sleep with them as many times as I liked.
(Soapy_Norris, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 10:32, Reply)

What I did for regular sex....
....I married her.

But no one pointed out that 'regular' meant twice a year. Bah. ;-)
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 17 Apr 2007, 9:51, Reply)

I broke up with my long term girlfriend and for about a year I was in a serious funk about it
but then I started to get my head together and decided to jump back on the shagwagon.
So I hit the town, waved my lucky charms and flirted like a mad thing. Sadly whatever pulling skills I had previously had, they had long since deserted me.
So I lowered my standards, I went to bars commonly known as "cattle markets" I flirted with girls with orange skin. Even this didn't work, maybe they could tell I didn't really like RnB, maybe it was the fact I wasn't wearing nikeairmax but for whatever reason, I still wasn't getting any.
By the time I reached two years without a shag, I had an epihany. Girls are alot fussier about who they shag than blokes. So all the horny girls are getting it but there's a lot more horny blokes than girls. So I decided to start shagging blokes.
BAM! suddenly i was getting laid again and then, bizarrely, girls started takign an interest in me as well

and thet all lived happily ever after.

Length? well there was one chap I took home purely on the basis of what turned out to be a rther old fashioned mobile phone.
boy was I disappointed
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 9:50, Reply)

Silent Screaming
In my head there was screaming - lots & lots of screaming which was disturbing - and I have permanent tinnitus already....

Pride & Prejudice AND Sense & Sensibility. And one of those was the 6 hour BBC adaptation.

Kill. Me. Now.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 9:38, Reply)

Freak on a leash
I once gave someone a rather nice collar and leash. Actually now I think about it that's worked for me more than once.

People are strange.

(This is of course human people I'm talking about. I have never yet been reduced to doggery.)
(scuttlefish is drifting into the arena of the unwell, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 8:58, Reply)

Never stage a fight
Not exactly sex related, but close enough. When I was in 4th grade, I convinced my neighbor to stage a fight over the new girl at school who just happened to live on the corner of my street. On our way home from school that day, we waited until we saw her & began "play fighting". We had decided that I would win, in an effort to display my manly prowess.

We got a bit carried away with the whole thing & I accidentally gave my friend a bloody nose. Enraged, he responded with a crushing blow to my face. The next thing you know, we were seriously kicking the hell out of each other. My friend was a tough kid...needless to say, he beat me senseless & left me there in a heap on the sidewalk.

Heather (the new girl) came to my aid & walked me to her house to clean up. She became my "girlfriend" that day & believe it or not, we stayed together another 6 years!!!! LOL
(universaltongue, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 8:56, Reply)

Mad stuff I did to lose my virginity
I'll try to keep it short.
I was an 18 y/o dropped off at college and eager to find out what the big freakin deal was about sex. In my effort to lose my virginity I "dated" a guy who: had braces, wore Abercrombie and Fitch, rollerbladed everywhere, introduced me to his social group as his "friend" after I had given him oral sex a number of times (I would've preferred "fuck buddy" over "friend"!), never took me on a date, asked "Have you tried shaving it?" upon seeing my box for the first time, never clearly defined whether he had broken up with his girlfriend back home whom he had several pictures of in his room, and instead of breaking up with me chose to ignore me for long periods of time while I sat in his room as he chatted on IM.
I now realize there were several thousand guys at my college who could've done a better job completing the task.
Grayson you were a douchebag and a lousy lay.
Click "I like this" if you agree.
(Windy Shrimp "wuz heah", Tue 17 Apr 2007, 4:50, Reply)

not so much mad as time consuming
longest amount of time invested to get laid.........dated the guy off and on for almost 6 freaking years before finally getting some.........then he was LOUSY!!!!

shortest amount of time.......used to have a special friend.......whenever i was in the mood i would message him 3 words: "you....here.....now"
always worked a treat and he would be knocking at my door within 10 minutes!


fothermucker: you described the perfect man! now where can i find one of those? (yeah, i'm a girl)
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 17 Apr 2007, 3:21, Reply)

Ok, I was 11, so I wasn't looking to get laid...
but I did do something shameful and humiliating to get a lad I fancied to go out with me.

I can hardly bring myself to confess this, but as a dyed in the wool, honest to goodness Manchester United Fan (who comes from Manchester and everything), I did something unforgiveable.

I pretended to support Manchester City.

He was very lovely, but snogged like a goldfish I am sorry Paul Read, but you did), and the strain of cheering for every City triumph got too much (it was the late 80s so Man U were shite, and City were actually borderline GOOD). I dumped him a week later.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 17 Apr 2007, 2:00, Reply)

To Citadel
And after all that she didn't even want any Milk Tray.
(mrbastard, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 0:08, Reply)

Got very wet
Night before I'm due to go on holiday and it seems a REMOTE POSSIBILITY that I might get some.

Sooo I decide to first of all get into town from North london.

Then abandon my mates in the pub who I'm shortly to go on holiday with.

Then get the tube half way across town again.

Then run for about ten minutes through a small tropical rainstorm that was visiting Britain on it's holidays.

I arrive at said girl's flat absolutely dripping wet, and have to change out of all my nice clothes into umm, some spare t-shirt and unflattering shorts of her bro's. And she still doesn't use me getting naked as an excuse to jump me.

Much TV watching and 'yawn and stretch' later I finally get her to sleep with me. Which of course means ringing my friends, claiming I'm stuck due to the weather, and 'yes I will definitely be back in time to get the flight tomorrow'.

So I have to run back across town, getting rained on again, at 6am the next morning, getting the first tube.

WHY? Because she was a friggin lesbian who'd held out on me for years, that's why. Length? Well, it seemed impressive to her, she'd only slept with girls previously.
(timewasterboy now with added wastage, Tue 17 Apr 2007, 0:05, Reply)

I pretended to like Harry Potter
and took her to see the latest Potter film, as well as engaging in many Harry Potter-esque debates. (Snape? no! he's a good guy!)

...ok, fine. I wasn't pretending.
(Davmaster is not a quadrispazz, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 21:00, Reply)

and men say WE'RE the complex ones!!!
Bear this in mind-I am 19, a model and at university-surely I should have had sex by now? But no, i'm still very much in posession of my v-plates. Over the past year, I've made some very bad choices over men, and have spurned around 15 perfectly lovely male friends in order to pursue men with emotional problems.

One in particular really sent me off on one, he's an actor and is completely gorgeous inside and out (best...body....ever!). After i turned down various members of the male section of our cast in a uni production, me and him spent a lot of time together, he told me he fancied my pants off, and it all seemed to be leading towards....well....something! at the cast social i wore a fabulous (selected by a big gaggle of my girlymates) outfit, flirted like a pro and appeared entirely at ease (not easy when all you can think about is jumping someones bones...). The moment came, he asked me if he could buy me a drink, i accepted, he told me how he was falling for me............and then proceeded to tell me he couldn't see me because he was still screwed up over his ex of a year, who was living in america.....no shagging luck there then........





..........am seeing him in 2 weeks, might just launch myself at him-screw the complex ex!!!
(GlowingRoses, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 18:47, Reply)

Military college...again...sorry
I sound like a one-trick pony on here:

I lived on Third Division of First Battalion at The Citadel. That’s the third floor. My girlfriend had called, actually ASKING me to come to her house to participate in some 'clothes-free bed frolicking.' How do you say no to that?

Taps and "All-In" (making sure you are in your room for lock-down, I know, it sounds like prison.) is called at 10:30pm on a weeknight and because of a previous ‘miscommunication,’ I was not allowed any Charleston Passes because I was supposed to be serving 'confinements'. So I decide: dropping three stories from my window to a gravel and grass area, then evading the five guard posts is probably a good idea.

I put on my PT (physical training) gear (shorts, a t-shirt and running shoes) and hang from the window ledge. Then I drop to the ground and I heard this Interesting snapping noise. Hmmm...

Limp away to skitter up a 10ft high wall with the aid of a pine tree and then to meet my girlfriend, who is waiting in her car to whisk me away to certain nirvana. At this point, my Polo cologne is now overwhelmed by my smelling like a blind Christmas Tree merchant in a pine board factory.

We get there and her roomates are home. No worries. I will do the 'nice guy' thing and not be too obvious that I am merely there for a shag. As I sit there, chatting with her friends on her sofa, I notice that my ankle is swelling pretty significantly. Royal Purple was the coloration. Frightening. If you've ever seen an eggplant, that is kind of what my ankle looked like.

So I finally get her and I worked towards the bedroom and after lying down, my girlfriend says, I swear she said these EXACT words: "Can we just cuddle here for a while? Then I will take you back to school."

I violated curfew - dismissible offense. I broke free of the battalion - dismissible offense. I SERIOUSLY sprained my ankle (at first, they thought it was broken). I violated my 'confinements' by leaving campus - dismissible offense. I went to the infirmary after returning to campus and reported that I had 'twisted my ankle on a curb while running' - honor code violation, again, dismissible offense. All for a snuggle.

What a sad bastard I was in college.

Length, girth? The ankle swelled to twice + its size and the length of the visit was maybe 3 hours of snuggling.
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:51, Reply)

Yum
I put Arthur's Kattomeat on the end of my cock.





Told the Missus it was tuna bake.
(Give me the cheese you cocksucker No board sig in protest., Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:32, Reply)

The Shame
I sat through Adam Sandler's Happy Gilmore.

Didn't get any either.

Bah.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:12, Reply)

Film
I watched "The English Patient" - Oh god - I still can't believe it, it's the longest, dullest film in the history of films.

No, I lie - "Lost in Translation" - 2 and however many hours of your life you're not getting back.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:01, Reply)

Poison My Well
I had gig tickets and no one to go with - the guy I had been "seeing" (and not at that point in the biblical sense) for a full week before hand insisted he come with me. I love loud screamy metal, and he assured me he did too.

I will never forget his face through most of the gig, like a baffled deer in the headlights, trying not to get trampled on by big hairy metallers. It transpired later that he is far more into melodic gentle stuff (with no scary mosh pits). That man bravely avoided bodily harm in front of Poison The Well to get me in the sack.

It seemed only fair to a) grant his request, and b) marry him three years later :)
(Vernie, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 17:00, Reply)

RAPE
is just suprise sex, right?
(abignumber, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 16:56, Reply)

if you're an accountant
You'll know that the best thing to tell a girl to ensure that she NOT sleep with you is that you are in fact an accountant.
All well and good if the girl in question makes Michelle Mcmanus look stunning, but never when she's a fit young thing that you'd crawl over broken glass to shag.

Instead, the following more interesting sounding and creative job titles were given by a young Handel and his mates back in the day when out on the pull:

- corporate consultant and equity restructurer (good until you were asked what the job entailed)
- stockbroker
- dolphin trainer
- capsicum farmer
- funeral director (used by a mate, and yes it worked for him)
(Handel blah blah blah, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 16:55, Reply)

Sad
I've read most of the replies to the QOTW so far, and I can only say that they make me feel genuinely, and truely sad to my very core.

So many of the posts seem to be a rehash of the same tired theme. Any of you read "Brave New World"? It's sobering when the world increasingly starts to mirror that which is described in the pages of a story/social parody.

I remember when I first met my wife. I just wanted to be her friend.
(dunkindogdo, Mon 16 Apr 2007, 16:52, Reply)