Pretty Lazy....
My first QOTW post... have watched for ages but be nice! :)
I'm meant to be presenting a radio show at the moment... but its saturday night, I wanna be out partying instead i'm stuck in a windowless room which acts as a sauna! So instead I sit on b3ta and miniclip and waste away the hours, occastionally announcing a song.... :P oh well!!!! Its not as if anyone really listens and it is a music show... haha
on the upside though - i get to listen to some great music while doing absolutely fuck all... and while getting paid for it
(macomateo is procrastinating on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 21:08, Reply)

Lazy?!
I was going to actually, honest to God be too lazy to post, but then I'm in a strange mood today.

Anyways, I'm usually pretty lazy, although I suppose most teenage boys are. For example I can never be arsed to tidy my room- I literally haven't seen my desk for years, or my window sill, or most of my floor. It's all buried under piles of clothes, now replaced tons and tons of bad drawings and all my school stuff.

Another good example is YouTube. I started making some little lego films a few years ago, back when I was a wee bastard. Despite now having even more Lego, a bit more know-how and the equipment to finish them I just cannot be arsed. Same goes for most of my videos actually.

The most worrying thing is that I'm doing my GCSE's, and I'm sorely tempted to do what a lot of my friends are and say bugger I'll do it later to those too.

Oh, and as you may see from my sig I couldn't be bothered to change that properly either!
(TMAce needs to enter another image challenge sometime, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 20:54, 3 replies)

I live here:



That is all.
( MatJ LOOK, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 20:18, 6 replies)

20 years late
During the age of 15/16 (20 yrs ago) I met and went out with my first love,. we had a fun time exploring and getting up to lots of mischief and created a unique connection.

Being young and full of hormones, we unfortunately split up after some fun times.

Fast forward to present day and the wonders of Facebook, I have now made contact, met up and been out with my former sweetheart, and our feelings to each other are as strong as if we had not been parted for 20 years*, and we are slowly getting to know each other again.

Just had to wait 20 years..

Unfortunately my current partner of 19 years is not going to be to happy about it... :(

(* apart from the odd quick shag,..lol)
( has two cups and one chick, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 19:52, 7 replies)

Eloped
Several decades ago, I got married. Since we were living far away from family, and couldn't afford a big deal wedding, we simply visited the local Judge one day. We were going to call the folks that night, and tell everyone what we'd done, but it slipped our minds.

The next day she thought I would call, I thought she would call, so neither of us called. We decided that it was not appropriate to say "We got married day before yesterday" via a phone call. So, we planned a trip home the next weekend, when we would tell everyone.

Things came up, and we couldn't make the trip. Before we knew it, we were a month married, and nobody except our local friends knew. We went home at Christmas with great resolve, but both families were so unkind to 'that person you're living with', that we chickened out.

Next we decided to actually have the big deal wedding, on or about our anniversary. Unfortunately, neither of us spent much time planning or arranging the event -- so it simply didn't happen.

We finally told them on our first anniversary:

"Mom, Dad -- we're married."

"Oh, no!" "This in a -- surprise." "-----!" "What? When did that happen?"

"Um, we got married last year. Today is our first anniversary."

I don't recommend eloping for a full year. It doesn't ingratiate you with anyone, really. Plus, no wedding gifts. Still, it's been 30 years, so we must have done something right.
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Sat 15 Nov 2008, 18:14, 3 replies)

I have spent a fair amount of my life sat in front of a computer
It all started with Sierra's Lode Runner, and was quickly followed up by The last dynasty (actually pretty bad game).

Through the years, the most played games have been:
FIFA 98/99/2000, Comanche 3, Red Alert 2, Rogue Spear, Age of empires 1&2, Football Managers, Half Life + Expansions, FREELANCER (probably the one I've played most), Fable, Shogun and Rome: Total War, Black and White, Midtown Madness 2 multiplayer.

I also had a Game Boy, so played all the Pokemon games back in the day, 100s of hours!

Then there was the xbox, but really only Halo ever managed to capture my attention.

I wish I had gone out and done some sport or into the outdoors at the time.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 16:51, 1 reply)

when i was at college i perfect the two jackets method
one to put over the back of your chair which convinced tutors you were 'around'

the other to wear to the pub across the road where many an afternoon was smothered to death with guinness and wild ideals
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 15:53, 1 reply)

well a lot of yer
arab gents over here are world class when it come to making an artform out of doing fuck all.

work or exersion of any sort is pretty much regarded as being beneath them. the only place they will walk is in an air conditioned mall - where they mill around aimlessly with handfree kits strapped to their faces - or as i call them the Borg in bedlinen.

Its quite common to see them strolling along, their wife behind, with the tiniest little philipino maids lugging all their shopping/prams/kids etc

the best bit is the are so adverse to going outdoors that vitamin d deficiency is on the rise - would you believe that in a country with year round sunshine there are wealthy air conditioned arabs who pretty much never see the light of day, so kidney problems anemia and even rickets are a now a problem. I mead rickets in this in this day and age FFS!

the place is nuts, nuts i tells ya

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 15:38, 5 replies)

I just watched the meter reading man
stand outside my house and fill in a 'sorry you were out card'.
Lazy fucker, didn't even knock.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 15 Nov 2008, 15:02, 10 replies)

Missing out on yet another lovely days weather.
Whilst, a lot of you are sat under miserable grey rainy clouds and painfully cold days in the UK. Im lucky enough to be sat in the south of Spain, with the sun blasting through my terrace doors. The skies are blue and the sea is looking lovely. There's not a cloud in sight. Its a lovely day out there. I can feel the sun heating my legs up as I have them perched up on the coffee table.

And what the hell am I doing? Im sat inside browsing the net and can't be arsed to even go for a piss. When it starts hurting I'll move.
Shouldn't I go out there and enjoy the weather?

I need to clean my laptop screen too. The sun is showing up every single spec of dust and finger mark. I cant even be bothered to do that.

Oh well, It'll be sunny all week.
(Miggyman, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 14:46, 5 replies)

Miggymans guide to slacking off in the Office.
Procrastinating. Isn't that what we spend most of our lives doing? Just filling the time. Avoiding having to get knee deep in some boring work, hoping it will go away at 5pm?

Slacking off in the office is something that is done by many. Those that are known slackers, are simply stupid and are yet to realise that slacking is a skill and an artform.

As a self pronounced professional office procrastinator, I will share with you just some of my many secrets:

Look busy! If anyone ever asks if youre busy, the answer is Yes! It makes you less approachable and people will always assume that youre always busy. If you have the sort of Office job that I do, where you can get away from not being at your desk for a while. Then that is to be taken advantage of to the fullest. But not too much, otherwise you will become someone whos "Never at their desk" which makes people wonder where you actually are. Its all about balance. You can slack off when youre at your desk as much as when youre not.

If you are sat browsing the net. Always have a standby window ready to switch onto which looks like some report, a database etc. Always have in mind something to say if you get the illucid question of "What are you working on at the moment?" The last thing to do is to stutter at this point, otherwise its damn obvious to the boss that you weren't working.

If issues come up, save them up. Even if you have resolved them. Remember them. Because during team talks you can bring them up. "Oh so and so has a problem with this" Then after the meeting, bugger off for a while and come back saying you sorted it. Even if you sorted it the day before. Everyone then thinks that the issue just arose and you just did it. Ie, you have been working, and youre busy! Of course over exagerate the issue, to make out it was a bigger problem and a bigger fix than what it was really.

If you fancy dissapearing from your desk, but have nothing to do. Then get up and head out whilst sighing and muttering to yourself "Urgh, this will be a laugh a minute." As if you just got an email with something really bad to sort out. Bugger off for a coffee. Then come back sighing again that youre glad its sorted. You can then put the icing on the cake, by offering anyone if they fancy a coffee as you now really need a break. (Just dont go to the same coffee shop!) The last thing you need is some over friendly staff coming out with quips like "Wow you need more coffee already?"

Arrive 2 - 3 minutes late for work every day. The odd minute is barely noticed. But it sure adds up. 3 minutes a day is 15 minutes a working week. Thats 13 hours a year! Congratulations you just earned 2 extra days off work a year, and no one will even notice.

Sickies, yes pull them every now and again. If youre lucky enough to never really fall ill. Then you can get away with 2 instances of 2 days off in one year. Try and do these mid week, as you might get accused of extending a weekend! Of course for extra authenticity complain youre feeling rubbish a day or even two days before.

If someone asks you to do something, say youre busy and their task will take time. Tell them you'll do it within a couple of days then do the easy 10 minute job later on that day. They'll be really happy with you. Remember, Under Promise, and Over Deliver! If you jump onto something right away, they will expect it all the time.

Be creative, be different each time. Don't overly take the piss, otherwise you'll get caught slacking off. Once a slacker always a slacker they say. Never get that reputation! You can do all this and expect bonuses and pay rises!



Finally, if youre sat in an office bored on your own, and dont have people looking over your screen and just need to pass boring office time. Then Office PCs can provide you with plenty of fun. Even if particularly locked down by the evil sysadmins. Try the following things to do:

The Word Theasaurus game: Think of two words unrelated to each other, then search the first word in the theasaurus. Click through all the suggestions and try and get to your second word.

Flight sim in Office 97: If you have old systems and still running Excel 97, theres a little hidden flight sim that'll amuse for 10 minutes. Go Google Excel 97 easter egg and you'll find it. Dunno if theres any in new versions, Google is your friend.

Free Internet: Some anonymiser proxies might get through company firewall so you can facebook all day long without being noticed. Also if Remote Desktop port is open. Set up remote desktop on your home PC and remote into it from work. You can browse and MSN totally undetected. If youre running a laptop, have a look for any open wireless networks nearby. If none open, grab hold of Backtrack 3 and crack a wepped one. You can browse the net then without it being traced.

Extra Solitaire Fun: Improove the excitement of solitaire by trying to beat it before an event happens. Ie before the next person goes to the water cooler. Or something else that frequently randomly happens in your eye shot. Also works with minesweeper etc.

Stress Test the PC: Try your hardest to crash your PC. Run as many apps as you possibly can and watch the baby grind to a halt. 200 copies of word later and im still going woo hoo :)


There any many more, reply to the thread with more office slacking and PC Procrastination threads.

P.S Couldnt be bothered to spell check it, sorry for mis speelings.
(Miggyman, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 14:37, 3 replies)

I'm not normally that bad.
But at the moment I've got a brand spanking new £1300 Home Cinema amp and a equally shiny Blu Ray player sat boxed in the corner of the lounge. My afternoon dicking about would be immeasurably improved if I actually plugged the bloody things in (all cabling is labelled and pre terminated and the rack is on wheels so it isn't even that hard to do) but I just can't be arsed.

I'm going to make a cup of coffee and see if that spurs me to greater efforts.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 14:27, Reply)

My friend Mike...

...Is so lazy that when he had to move out of his flat to another house, he paid rent on both places so he could spend a month moving, rather than just a day.

He didn't though - he only took a few bits and moved everything else at the end of that month anyway.
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 13:55, 2 replies)

Last month
I booked my bike theory test not too long ago. On getting my date confirmed, I duly wandered down to WHSmith and bought the Highway Code, plus the DSA theory test revision book and hazard perception DVD, the intention being to read a few chapters each day so that by the time I took my test a month later I'd have it nailed.

The books ended up next to the bog, and I'd stare at the cover for a few seconds while having a shit, before grabbing a magazine from the rack instead. The DVD still hasn't been opened. My test was on Thursday just gone.

I woke up Thursday morning, planning to watch the hazard perception DVD and brush up on my highway code at the very least. Instead, I had a cup of tea and watched bike crashes on YouTube.

48/50 on the questions, 50/75 on Hazard Perception. Pissed it.

Now I just need to book my practical sometime in the next 2 years.
(bblgoose, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 13:55, 1 reply)

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 13:21, 1 reply)

Being a student really is just 3 years of procrastination, isn't it?
Things I really should be doing:

-Reading about relativity
-Writing about why UPLC is different to HPLC (well, one has a U and one has a H, right?)
-Making a dentists appointment
-Making a hairdressers appointment
-Filling in my timesheet for mentoring so I get paid
-Filling in other forms for mentoring so I get paid
-Planning what calibration solutions to make in lab on Tuesday

Things I am actually doing:

-Writing this on b3ta
-Stalking my exs on facebook and laughing cos I know one of them hasn't had sex for a year, and his prospects aren't look any better
-Making a cup of tea
-Deciding what to have for lunch
-Hoovering my room
-Dusting my room
-Tidying my room
-Hoovering the rest of the house
-Cleaning all the surfaces in the kitchen
-Deciding what to wear tonight
-Singing along loudly to Reel Big Fish


My theory is that if the two lists were to ever become perfectly identical for any one person on the planet, the universe will implode and a giant seagull will appear in its place.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 12:32, 3 replies)

Meh...
.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 12:26, 1 reply)

Second year uni exams
A friend and I developed some extreme (and very stupid) procrastination during the summer exams towards the end of our second year of Uni.

Our medium? Fire.

It started small - just arsing about with deodorant and lighters (indoors), but things progressed filling pint glasses with said deodorant, lighting them, and throwing them into each others rooms like some kind of fiery grenade. Another good one was setting the other persons bin on fire when they weren't looking, and sneaking out, eliciting 'Hmmm, why can I smell burning? OH SHIT!' on more than one occasion.

On reflection, we were lucky to not burn the house down, especially as the landlord was the cheapest man alive, so all the furniture was from the 50s, and therefore about as fire retardant as a petrol soaked rag.

However, we did discover the flammability of flour, resulting in this. Excuse my laughter - I only make that kind of noise very infrequently.
(Merrep, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 12:21, Reply)

A Force for Good
The thing is, procrastination can be good. I rarely used to do my homework until it was due; literally I would wake up at 2-3 in the morning and bash it out. I had a week or so to do it, but needed that anxiety to motivate/focus me. Im the same now, I find I cant do stuff unless I have pangs of guilt and a bit of stress. I accept now that this is how I work (as do others). So basically, dont beat yourself up if you are a procrastinator; for some of us it's part of our make up.

Of course you may just be lazy bastard...
(kitescreech still here, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Gym
About 5 years a go in a fit of "I'm too lardy and need to get fitterer" I joined the local gym.

Then I attended about 5 times, then took a year break and attended about 10 times.

Now, 3 years later with no further attendance, I finally went into the gym to hand in my "please cancel my membership" letter (written by the missus, not by me).

I've learnt a lesson in life; don't join a gym, get a dog: it's cheaper, more effective, more rewarding and you get a free burgular alarm thrown in.
(resident deity, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 8:52, Reply)

Can you help?
Here's my procrastinating.

I've been with my partner for some time now, but I think the spark may have gone. I still love her, but I wish she'd give me a sign she feels the same. I need to know if she wants me to stay, or go.
The sex is good, but she does like making me beg for it. And the mood swings? Lets not go there.
So the way I see it I have 2 options; stay with her (which will cause rows) or leave (which will, of course, lead to more).
(kitescreech still here, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 8:33, 5 replies)

my friend is the king of procrastination.
He moved away a long time ago, and he's been saying he's going to move back for ages.

What makes it annoying is that he can't just decide not to. He has to make it the biggest drama ever. Someone might tell me no, I was talking to him, and he's definitely going to come back on such-and-such a date. Or didn't you hear? He's already back - I saw him around. But it never quite happens.

Jesus, get your act together.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 7:14, Reply)

i blame b3ta
generally im not a lazy person, for example when im paid to work, i work. (to an extent- i do what needs doing)- this is partly because im being paid and partly due to the fact when i did spend all day on a computer the twunts in the IT dept blocked b3ta

when at home though i will always find something better to do,than the things that need doing.... this usually means i spend most of my time sitting on my arse laughing at QOTW

there are lots of things i need to do but cant be bothered- i have to motivate myself and the solution i have come up with is one that workeed for me at uni

i do whatever needs doing in the pub- its how i passed my degree and post grad.

my mum has just sent all my post from the uk over to me (i live in prague)as its 'important' crap

monday shall be spent in a pub reading all this stuff* (bless her shes already sorted the wheat from the shit)

*whether i can be arsed is another matter
(jenko83, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 6:36, Reply)

The Internet
is the great procrastination tool. Pr0ns facebook, various forums, news sites, pr0ns, YouTube, free tv sites, fantasy football, downloading stuff, pr0ns, MSN and erm... Pr0ns.

So to answer this QOTW I shall regale you with a list of stuff that I need to do and have not done because of the importance of sitting on my arse, essentially being quite bored staring at my computer screen. Ironically much of what I need to do has to be done online and I still have not done it.

I present to you Bam Bam's list of not done chores:

Read the course books for my history course, normally this would not concern me but I have attended about 3 of 20 classes and 2 of those was to take exams.

Post my postcards that have been sitting on my desk for 2 weeks.

Email my dad, to ask for a lift home from the airport in several weeks.

Buy a course book for an exam that I have in less than 2 weeks.

Cancel orders for a several items bought on Amazon that are no longer needed.

Do a load of washing.

Go shopping as 20 cent noodles isnt a good diet.

Go to the gym (several times) on account of becoming a fat(ter) slob.

Email work to some tutors.

Phone the nice people at the Louisiana state university accommodation office who are demanding $120 in exchange for not making me homeless.

Sort my receipts so I can claim expenses back from my local education authority.

I'd say I'll do it tomorrow, but its a lie. At least now I have a list I can refer back to.
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Sat 15 Nov 2008, 5:08, Reply)

School and parents
Still haven't done it. I was supposed to have got my diploma three years ago like a good little girl. Work's more fun though. When I was still in school, I put off doing homework - not just putting it off until the last minute - I put it off beyond the last minute. In fact I don't think I submitted a single assignment for the entire last year I was there. Just couldn't be arsed and I was miserable at the time.

When I abruptly and in a fit of pique filled out and submitted the leave of absence forms, I was supposed to have emailed my professors. Never got around to that either. I actually feel bad about this one, as some were decent and nice.

My parents may or may not have put off getting a divorce, claiming they didn't want to ruin my youth. Well, far be it from me to decide, but I've only spent the last several years attempting to bridge the gap between them, helping them with the actual divorce (which is a mess, as neither of them seem to know how to manage much at all) and being excessively paranoid about my own failures, education and lack thereof, and other people. I wouldn't like to blame everything on them, but parents do have a small hand in the mindset and upbringing of their children, don't they?

Looking back, I think this just makes me sound like a spoiled ingrate, but it was cathartic.
(Rem Sir, why are you thrashing about on the floor?, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 3:53, Reply)

I'm so lazy
I spent years working on the biggest project of my life. I put together a team of very dedicated individuals that would have worked themselves to the grave for me. On the big day; however, I just wallowed in a cave while they got all the glory. Now those lucky guys have eternal paradise and 70 virgins each.







Jokes on them though, with burns like that, those virgins are staying virgins. Plus, I arranged for one of the guys to get male virgins, just for a larf, so an eternity of flogging for him.
(Osama Bin Ladin is opening a whole can of jihad on, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 1:42, Reply)

Beer
I delayed going to the metro tesco over the road till it hit 10PM and it was shut :-( but on a positive side I found 5 cans of Carlsberg in the fridge which I thought were all drunk at a party last week.

Result...
(Something funny, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 1:19, Reply)

Oh my god...
These stories about leaving posting till later are so original and funny!!!

On a serious note, something funny happened to me today - but I'll tell you later...

But seriously, I am the worst for leaving things till the last minute. My door is directly opposite my work front door. I can be in anytime from 7.30-10 and always get out of bed at 8.15, shower, drink coffee, check b3ta, fazed etc, get changed, drink more coffee and stumble into work about 9.57. On good days I leave at 5 with a 2 hour lunch. I'm very lazy and good at masturbating... err... I mean... procrastinating.
(Something funny, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 1:13, Reply)

I'm so lazy
Our cleaning lady couldn't come for three weeks, so I just let the house get dirty, to the point where pubic hairs were accumulating in fluffy brown drifts in the bathroom. Disgusting. She's just been and cleaned the house this afternoon, so I no longer have to wallow in my own filth.
(Lady of leisure, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 0:43, 1 reply)