I've been thinking long and hard about this one...
I regret that for years I used to crumple up the bog-roll. Folded is much more efficient.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 6:50, Reply)

My girlfriend was a bitch
So I fucked another girl. A lot. I told her (the girlfriend of 5 years) and we got back together after numerous conversations. Unfortunately, I was still fucking the other one behind her back. Here's the kicker: after I had told the one (5 year one) that I would never, never, ever touch the other one, I did. A lot. So, after, the sweet 5-year one had sweetly taken me back, she called me early one morning. You know the "cancel" button on the cell phone? It's extremely close to the "mute" button on the cell phone. DOH. She heard my infidelity in no uncertain terms.. It makes me both ill and proud to this day.
(ez_e, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 5:46, Reply)

Rabbit sarnie anyone?
My housemate, bless his cotton socks, isn't the sharpest tool in the box at times.

We went out to a club one night where the drinks flowed and times were merry, when from nowhere two girls came floating into the room wearing skin tight PVC bunny outfits.
Every eye in the room, male and female alike, was transfixed by these two stunning, yet coy, brilliant bunnies.

Without batting an eyelid at anyone else in the room they glide gracefully up to my mate, who is designated driver and therefore stone cold sober.
After the initial 'Hi, I'm so-and-so' banter that often occurs in such male-female interactions, the ladies ask him
'Ever had a Rabbit sandwich?'
They do the whole playing with the hair, biting their lips and wiggling their plentiful money makers they way only two women on the pull can manage.

Now, to his credit, my mate stayed calm, he stayed cool and he wasn't overwhelmed by all charm these lucious creatures exuded. He quickly formulated his response and in a good, steady voice he replied,
'Erm, no, I can't say that I have.'

He then proceeded to finish his coke, stand up and walk away from those two beauties before his face dropped and his brain finally caught up with his mouth, by which time the girls had moved to the next on their list.

Like I said, not the sharpest tool in the box.
( Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 4:37, Reply)

Blood
I regret going to donate blood today.

They told me they didn't want my gay blood. Then I was put on a database to ban me from ever donating in the UK. Then I had to sign a form to confirm I was gay, which will be forever held in an archive somehwere. It feels like I have a fucking criminal record.

You'd think being a virgin would make it OK, but apparently homosexuality it carried in the blood these days. Oh really, Mr. NHS? This is news to me.

Beggars can't be choosers, you ungrateful vampire cunts!
(StrongBad =! strong% AND StrongBad =! bad%: StrongBad = 1/0, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 4:29, Reply)

I regret...
Sleeping with JM,KB,GM,PA,MW - all a waste of a night that could have been spent doing something more fun, such as polishing my own bean.

Not sleeping with RA - bet he would have been good. He had a very nice bum.
Now he's married to a good friend of mine :-(
(emma_fisi, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 4:18, Reply)

A shallow one
I had a friend I used to make out with at parties. Neither of us wanted it to get serious, it was just screwing around because there was no-one else willing to do us.

One night, while we were making out in the middle of a pile of our sleeping friends, I realised her hand was inching towards my trouserline. I just said "No", and she pulled it away. My raging erection began to spurt blood in response.

Handjob/blowjob from one of the nicest girls I've ever met, in a semi-public area, and I turned it down because I didn't want to get involved in anything more in-depth than a party-make-out-friend.

Don't talk to her now, for a variety of complicated reasons, which I suppose I deserve.
(bad1dea, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 2:48, Reply)

Never squander fellatio.
When I was 16, a fat girl wanted to give me head, no strings attached. I turned her down, and proceeded to get no sex for the next f... well, never mind that.

If you are offered a blowjob, and there are no coldsores in evidence, take it.
(revjtoad, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 2:25, Reply)

I regret only one thing
That I was once pined over a girl on the Valentines Day Truly Madly Deeply was released relatively near to. That song will forever remain etched in my mind whenever I think of her beautiful, ever so slightly pudgy frame.

Apart from that I regret nothing else, I would never change anything in the past, as it was the path that led me to the life I have now, for which I am so happy with.

But still, Truly Madly Deeply? Goddamnit.
( TN, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 2:05, Reply)

I regret all that I have done
and all that I have not.



What, I'm not being funny? Fuck you.
( 0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sat 7 Oct 2006, 0:16, Reply)

I regret not keeping my gob shut...
...when a friend had a PC problem a few years ago.

"Oh, I know something about PCs" says I, "Let me take a look"

3 years later I am still providing free IT support for my family and about 10 friends, all of whom are too lazy to try and learn anything themselves because ringing me is easier.

Sometimes I wish my fucking hands would fall off.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 23:33, Reply)

only one...
helen cooper. should never have fucked that up...
(jameslib, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 23:09, Reply)

Karaoke
It was some time ago, and Voltan was younger and more impressionable than now. Voltan was persuaded against Voltan's better judgement to take to the stage.

The song was Me, Myself and I.

It did not go well.
(Voltan you know: for kids, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 22:55, Reply)

Being faithful
Just come back from a holiday to celebrate three years together with my fiancée. A holiday in Malia - Greek resort half way between Ibiza and Blackpool. Things were going less than great between us, but I saw the holiday as a turning point in our relationship, the time when I would cease my neglectful ways, show her how worthy I was of her attentions, and begin appreciating the lady with whom I was to spend the rest of my life.

She also saw the holiday as a turning point in our relationship. Actually, that's a lie. She saw the turning point somewhere between booking the holiday, and going on it. She just didn't want to lose out on the holiday. So she waited. Until the day we got back. Then dumped me. For my best mate.

Hardest part - the place was absolutely packed with easy women, and I could spent each night in a different bed, and gathered myself a full collection of STDs had I known what was coming. As it was, I stayed with her, and didn't get any. For two weeks. Not even on the night of our three year anniversary.


However:
Now I'm bitter, and as a result am brutally honest with women. For some reason, when telling a girl that I'm interested in being friends, maybe a date, probably sleeping with her if it's on the cards, but certainly nothing more because I'm loving the single life too much, they seem to fall at my feet. So it all works out in the end. Guys: complete honesty saves a huge amount of headaches when it comes to women, and a failure to be at all defensive when challenged for your principles is the most effective way to disarm an attack EVER. Example: "So you want to sleep with me, but still going on dates with other girls and sleeping with them?!?" "Yes, that's about the size of it"
(bblgoose, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 22:40, Reply)

I rue thu fact

I neva attendud any of my Englush classses wen I waz at skool.
(Lt Columbo, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 21:44, Reply)

Fiona Coleman
Yes, you were lovely.

Yes, I would have liked to dance with you at the Year 7 disco.

Yes, a bit of tonsil-tennis wouldn't have gone amiss.

But I was hanging with my homeboys, looking cool in my Technics Jacket, British Knights and Shell-pants. You have to understand.

And yes, whilst the stolen glimpses across the classroom during English and the shared love of middling indie-rock bands meant much to me, I never had the bottle to claim my prize of a fumble behind the bike sheds.

The fact that since then, my popularity with women is comparable with Hermann Goering's with the Jews and that you've become a rather foxy lingerie model, who just so happens to be married with kids, doesn't play on my mind ever.

Honest.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 21:02, Reply)

Deep Heat + genitals != good
Two lots of speed training (running, that is, rather than anything illicit) left me with a seriously strained/pulled/painful-as-fuck muscle at the very top of my left leg. I regret buying a tube of Deep Heat during my lunch hour and liberally smothering said painful area with the stuff. I also regret wearing a pair of loose-fitting undercrackers that day as it meant that my knackers brushed up against the not-quite-fully-rubbed-in cream. I spent about half an hour sat at work with the distinct feeling that someone had smothered my family jewels in petrol and set light to them. Still, it took the muscle pain away for about an hour and also gave me a new appreciation for anyone currently staying at Guantanamo Bay.
(thedonf, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 20:59, Reply)

If I had all the money I'd spent on drink...
...I'd spend it on drink.

/SHaRE . (© Viv S)
( Tepid_Halibut felt like a cold, empty shell of a human...until, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 18:56, Reply)

i regret being a gentleman
picture the scene. twas around this time 2 years ago. the weather was shite and twas at a drunken teenage house party. i had my eye on this girl she wasnt all that to be honest she was pretty rough. but i lacked confidence and thought shes bound to be easy. i get talking and !!kblamo!! me and her are entangled in a dirty teenage lip lock. we end up in one of the bed rooms getting proper hot and heavy. then she says do you want to shag me. i being a gentlemen and completely inept when it comes to the ladys say no, the fool. its 2 years later and i still havn't been able to appologise for length. what a stupid stupid cunt i am
(fwack bang on it, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 18:12, Reply)

wonderbrawl
one of my mate's exes did that to her, so she now can't stand the things, maltesers too as one got a wee bit stuck :(
(btw, i'm from Liverpool myself so may have to introduce you to the other mars bar bloke next time i'm home)

me? i regret nothing!!!
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 18:07, Reply)

Also
I regret leaving "What I'm listening to" on on MSN Messenger, installing the Winamp plugin and then watching lesbian porn movies.
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 18:06, Reply)

Again!!
I've just started uni in Liverpool (I'm from Leeds).

Nobody knew me or of any of my previous deviences.

My biggest regret is posting this on b3ta for everyone to read it and laugh at my expense!
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 18:00, Reply)

Happened to a mate yesterday :D
He's had a great genuine regret, which made me smile immensely.

On of me mates has got himself a new bird, dunno where they met though. He's been sleeping over her's for the last few weeks, and he's feeling particularly courageous and starts talking serious to her. It went roughly like this;
"So, errr, we've been seeing each other for a few weeks now and if you are as happy as I then I feel we should be as open to each other as possible, and not hide anything."
She replies, "I'm happy with that, and while we're on the subject I want to go first."
"Ok, what's up hun...are you married, seeing someone else, used to be a man, what?" he says jokingly.
"I got genital warts." was the reply.

Nout a greater regret than the lurgy on your sexbits, noooo sir.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 17:47, Reply)

Ah well........
I regret not throttling the living shit out of my (as of this morning) ex-boss in favour of a very very generous leaving package which was only offered because my ex-boss has NO idea of the employment laws. Would have been worth it to feel the life drain out of the self-important twunt just before he lost control of his bodily functions, twitched spastically and died.
That image will cause me to laugh myself to sleep for many happy years to come.
I don't wish to sound cruel or heartless.......







But I am.
Knob gag? Lose the reflex bitch!!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 17:37, Reply)

I once knew an Ardea alba ...
called "R".

s/length/obscurity/
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 17:11, Reply)

I regret...
Not posting in a while.

Edit: Great minds or something... I honestly didn't see the post below. :)
(mehmeh 0% witty, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 17:00, Reply)

I regret

not putting any time, effort or thought into this post.
(Lt Columbo, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 17:00, Reply)

frankspencer
All very true mate. I just wish I'd listened when my favourite uncle said: "Che, if you forget everything else I've ever told you, don't forget this..."

...Damn! I wish I'd been listening.

Funny really, I don't regret mucking up my A Levels, wasting a couple of years bumming around, taking a disasterous catering course, even (sob) losing the Girl of my Dreams [see 'I was a perv, but didn't know it], getting new love preggers at 23, marrying at 24, ditching safe job to re-train leading to 20 years of near poverty....

...what I do regret - but can no longer avoid for now - is working for a soul-less organisation that cares not a jot for me just so that I can pay a mortgage and a load of other bills. Still, fingers crossed, I may still be made redundant; sometimes you need that push.

[by the way, I got myself registered on a French Friends Reunited site - Copains D'avant - and sent an e-card to the old GomD. No regrets there, and no regrets that she has ignored it either. He shoots, he misses.]
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 16:51, Reply)

When I was 7 the most inportant question in my life to that point was...
Did I want a Yo Yo or a biscuit?


Went for the Yo Yo, was very happy but then I realised why I wanted the biscuit.

I WAS FUCKING HUNGRY.

Poor, poor decision on my part at the time, I really do regret it.
(Ultimo LJ, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 16:50, Reply)

I really wish

I hadn't been off having a crafty ciggarette when God was handing big willies out.
(Lt Columbo, Fri 6 Oct 2006, 16:42, Reply)