Pregnancy
A friend of mine was once dared by another friend of mine to approach one particularly large individual in the street and ask if they were pregnant.






Turns out he wasn't.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 18:40, Reply)

Circus trick*
Vous savez that circus trick quand un homme catches un bullet shot out d’un pistol entre ses teeth? Alors, c’est un old trick, et un classic aussi.

J’ai dared H a faire quelque chose similar – mais avec un difference. J’ai dared lui a catcher un arrow avec son eye. Et – sacre bleu et bon appetit – il a agreed. Oui – pouvez-vous believe it? Un ARROW! Avec son EYE!

Alors – pour couper un long story court – tout allait assez badly pour lui, et quand un result, j’ai became Roi de England.

Yours,
William the Bastard, Duc de Normandie

_{* I am soooooo sorry – Enzyme.}
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 16:09, 9 replies)

When I was six...
...I was dared to jump off of a garage roof for a single Murray Mint.

I snapped my ankle.

But got a whole packet of Murray Mints!

I don't even like Murray Mints.
(DrDerekDoctors, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 12:59, Reply)

Stop coughing you prick
This happened when I was in high school.I was around at a mates house one weekend, and we were just hanging around. I saw a jar of Vicks Vapourub, and commented on how it was the same shaped jar as Vaseline. Then I said "Wouldn't it be amazing if you accidentally had a wank with that instead of vaso." Quick as a flash he said he'd do it then and there for $10. And just as quickly I had my wallet out telling him to go ahead. well, he got a big blob of it and put it on his dick, then slowly started rubbing it in. For about 10 seconds. Then he started shouting. Then running to the bathroom to wash it off. He got his $10, but he also got a new nickname at school. Vic.
(hixy, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 4:39, Reply)

As requested (by *ahem* one reader) a cross dressing follow up
Please excuse any typoes etc. Its 3.20am, I'm a little drunk fairly pissed off and still stuck in my sodding tights (they are very fetching fishnet tights).

Cross dressing dares went well - the guy who was dared to turn up in a school girls out fit bottled it and actually turned up as a ballerina. The girl I'm after puked on the stairs, then fell down them and had to be carried home by her friend who was dressed like Liza Minelli, I spent the rest of the night dirty dancing with a group of rather hirsuite cheerleaders, got covered in gin and I've just come home after being verbally abused by two teenagers for wearing a dress. My head is slightly swollen after having a stone thrown rather hard at it - for being a 'cross dressing queer scum'. God don't you just love british teenagers? Oh and I got molested by a drunk Russian.

What will be interesting will meeting my very conservative, terminally alcoholic, supervisor tomorrow (yes I know its sunday but he has no life) to discuss my thesis whilst still wearing garish pink nail varnish.

I have a feeling that pictures will surface in my college in the next few days. I'm worried...

EDIT: Just met some friends, who have told me more about what happened last night: the LGTB Secretary was flashed by two men dressed as ballerinas, two tables were broken, as was a large amount of crockery. Oh and my supervisor was highly impressed with my nails and asked me if I am having drug problems. Yay.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 3:33, 5 replies)

biology
i dared a mate to eat a disected fish eye.

well i say dare, i paid. but to his credit he duely ate both.

i claimed buy one get one free
(bacneman, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 1:10, 1 reply)

When I was about 12 or 13
Me and a mate came up with what we thought was a fool-proof scheme to pull girls.

Basically, one of us would go up to a good-looking girl and dare her to 'Get off with my mate'

Worked for a while, until one fateful night he walked up to a stunning girl, and dared her to get off with me.

She looked at me like I was covered in shit, and said "I don't think so" in the most patronizing voice I have ever heard.

We stopped doing it after that...
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Sun 4 Nov 2007, 0:34, 1 reply)

the one at my school
ate a battery
(harestylenumber1 loves weiner, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 23:47, Reply)

Not a dare, as such, but still vaguely relevant.
When I was but a wee lad and still becoming familiar with the ways of the force, I found myself in the dining room with my older brother.

Gullible 4 year old that I was, I basically took everything that he said as Gospel, as I'm sure many younger siblings have done, so when he told me to sniff the carpet, I did.

Immediately after, I felt an itchy, burning sensation in my nostril. Of course, I ran to get my Mum and she went and got some cotton buds and shoved them up my nose to clear it out. After I had stopped snivelling she asked me what had happened and I told her that I had sniffed the carpet cos big brother had told me to. She went to get him and asked him what he had done.

Turned out the fucker had put some pepper on the floor and made me sniff it. Just cos he wanted to see if I would sneeze like on Tom and Jerry.

So there you have it. My brother made me snort a line of pepper.
(littlenipple hate's bad grammar, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 22:02, 3 replies)

Echoing ladyredshoes
I once clambered over a parked car for a dare. Almost as soon as I started dancing the 'robot' on top of it, passersby yelled at me to get off. One even dared to berate me to stop being so disrespectful to people's property.

The look on their faces as I (soberly) got down off my car, unlocked it, and drove off was a picture.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 21:54, 3 replies)

Potentially Dangerous
I and a friend had been drinking, he was driving, stupidity starts right there.

When he is driving, I bet he can't drive with his eyes closed, he then proceeds to show he can til he smashes a post box.

Totalled his car*, but he lost his bet as driving into post boxes is not real driving.


*£20 car, so hardly cost him.
(Ian_Ex_Machina Has nothing better to do, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 20:33, Reply)

Real Winners!
It's clear that a lot of you b3tards are really pushing for that Darwin Award. Keep working at it guys! Make us proud.
(pitarou, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 18:39, 3 replies)

Huge inflateable hammer.
Sitting in the back seat of a mate's car as we trundle around Torquay, I find a something wrapped up in the back.

Hmm, on closer inspection, it turns out to be an inflatable hammer. 'ah yeah' says my mate the driver, 'I won that at the fair ages ago'.

Bored, I blow it up.

It's a huge inflatable hammer.

I start tapping it on the heads of the driver and passenger until they get annoyed.

Then we see a mate, walking along the pavement...'Dare you to whack him on the head as we go past...'

RIGHT, WIND THE WINDOW DOWN...

I slightly overestimated the effect of the impact of an inflatable hammer, wielded with force, from the window of a mini clubman doing 40mph. I caught him on the back of the head, expecting it just to bounce off with no harm, other than surprise.

He went absolutly flying headfirst on to the ground.

We slow down to laugh. And then realise it wasn't our friend after all....

Hope he was ok...if you've were hit on the back of the head by an idiot with a inflatable hammer in Torquay - sorry.
(inflateable, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 18:15, 1 reply)

Realised...
I should dare myself not to post a QOTW as long as the previous one ever again...
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 17:54, Reply)

Isn't that far...
THE EXTENDED VERSION:
scroll down if your like me and can't be arsed reading long posts,

I was recently drunkinly debating how far it was from huddersfield to Dewsbury as huddersfield was were i was and dewsbury is were i live.
Now me myself and one of my aquaintance's had just stumbled out of a certain nightclub (certain as i don't remember the name not because there's a debate whether it is indeed a nightclub or not) but we found ourselves with insufficient funds for a taxi and 5 hours waiting time for the next train or bus. thus i hatched my cunning plan to walk home as dewsbury isnt that far from huddersfield. My friend who we shall call sanka, as his nickname rhymes with this, laughed at this and quite cleverly came up with different scenario's i may find myself in;
you will get lost
it will take you a long time
you won't get be home in time for college
you'll get attacked
your not in the right state to walk home
you don't no your way round dewsbury never mind how to get to dewsbury from huddersfield
i protested and tried convincing him otherwise but he kindly refused and then came up with a great plan which went something like this 'You won't make it to dewsbury i'll tell ya now and if you do i shall reward you with ten of the queen's english pounds' now as i am quite the fool at making drunken decisions i took him up on his dare

so off i trotted and found myself presented with numerous road sign's
1-sheffield/wakefield
2-oldham
3-manchester
4-holmfirth
now as there wasn't a dewsbury one i decided to walk to wakefield as that is fairly near to the terrorist filled town i reside at.
(if your not up to date with the lovely area of dewsbury search dewsbury terrorism on google
and you shall be informed with numerous different articles)

now here are a few figures which google map directions provided me with
1- huddersfield to wakefield - 14.1 miles
2- huddersfield to dewsbury - 8.5 miles
3- wakefield to dewsbury - 6.5 miles

so off i trotted following the wakefield signs.
Now 1 hour into the walk it didnt seem too bad.
also may i now add that it was a fancy dress college halloweeen party i had been attending therefore i was dressed as a nu-rave hobo. extensively ripped dirty clothes and vast amounts of glowsticks on my arms wrists legs waist and neck u get the idea.
3 hours into the walk i was sat by the edge of the road close to tears.
4 hours i was having a deep conversation with myself about milk and why people had not had there milk delivered
5 n a half hours into the walk i managed to get to a bus stop outside wakefield
i then realised i shud stop walking and do the clever idea and get the bus as i was cold and tired with blister covered feet.
so i sat down and waited 10 minutes for the first bus.
now as i got on the bus which i barely did due to the pain of my feet i was the victim of a few strange looks due to the fact i was dressed as a tramp smelt of alcohol was visibly close to collapse and head to toe with glowsticks.
i then proceeded to wakefield bus station from were i went to dewsbury.
and managed to get home for 7.45.
got changed
had a wash ( thats a lie )
got my bag ready
and then headed off for college

so to conclude;
-didnt get my £10 because i didnt walk all the way
-got a total of 5 blisters and a blood covered sock
-was close to a mental breakdown
-risked getting lost in the middle of nowhere
-randomly in fancy dress at stupid o'clock in the morning
- and got a bollocking for falling asleep in english literature ( due to not going to sleep all night not just because its as boring as playin fetch with a dead spaniel.
however on the plus side i can now say ive been to denby dale

also if your wondering what happened to my friend he slept at a friends house after a taxi ride to homlfirth
bastard...

DUMBED DOWN VERSION

got dared to walk from huddersfield to dewsbury
didnt make it
got bad feet
got cold
got close to a mental breakdown
looked a twat 4 no reason
ended up in wakefield
didnt win the bet


Length ??? a 5 and half hour , 14.1 mile fucking walk !
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 17:52, 4 replies)

Cross Dressing
Not so much a 'stupid' dare, but a dare nonetheless... the stupidity lies in loss of respect over the following months. My college has a yearly haloween party that involves cross dressing - all the men dress as women, and the women look worried as previously 'macho' guys worry about whether a dress makes them look fat.

Naturally, this leads to men being dared to wear the most obscene costumes possible. In my first year a group of ice hockey players were dared to dress as the East German Womens Swimming Team. They turned up in bikinis, with abundant mounds of excess fake hair pouring from every possible seam. There was also a group of playboy bunnies... some of whom were almost hairy enough to pass for a real bunny.

Last year was more restrained, but this year (and its starting in about 3 hours) I know of one guy who has been dared to buy one of those Anne Summers schoolgirl outfits and to wear it to the party. We'll see if he has actually gone through with it. Apparently it has an incredibly short skirt and a pair of knickers with 'spank me' written across the seat. Think he's going to get away without being spanked in a room full of drunken men-women? The poor bastard could end up being molested by cross dressing drunkards... if that isn't stupid I don't know what is.

Luckily I haven't been dared at all, and so am restrained in a delightful pink and black off the shoulder number, complete with a 'miss naughty' sash, and a far too excited female friend who is coming over in an hour or so to paint me 'like a whore'. I'm 6 foot 6 and over 20 stone... its going to be beautiful. At least this year I don't have a beard.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 17:50, 1 reply)

Sat in a pub
a lad called Monkey pissed in a pint glass and put it back on the table. He was dared to drink it for the contents of everyone's pockets.

He did. For a grand total of £7.
( CowJam, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 17:10, Reply)

If you're walking home from the pub, drunk and....
...your mate dares you to run over the next parked car you see, don't do it.

It might have a full length Webasto sunroof. You might go right through said roof. You might snap your ankle as it hits the steering wheel on the way in. You might end up buying an unfeasibly expensive roof to replace the one you wrecked.

But worse of all....

...the nurse that treats you at the hospital for your broken ankle, while your details are being taken down by a policeman, might....JUST MIGHT be you're girlfriends mum.

Try explaining that one.

Bugger.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 16:35, 1 reply)

Tippex
A friend of mine from back in high school would do anything for a dare! You know the sort... suck on a highlighter, eat a fag, drink some piss and all the other high school frolics...

Anyway, one day - we decided to dare him to drink a bottle of tippex (We'd got bored of attempting to get high by sniffing it NB: this doesn't work and neither does lighter fluid from a lighter)

We didn't even have to give him any money to do any of the things he did - just the words "I dare you to..." would do.

Anyway, rambling over - he drank the while bottle of tippex, turned pretty white and almost immediately we figured it would be a good idea to call an ambulance - he had to have his stomach pumped and he'd caused irrepairable damage to his kidneys.

Still... he never stopped taking on dares. Mighty stupid methinks but he's a living legend.

Still learning..long time lurker... first post!
(redshoes, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 15:31, 6 replies)

Stupid dares for cigs...
When I was a poor student working in a hotel, we used to dare each other with the daftest things on the promise of a ten box of Richmond Superkings.
Eating an unused teabag was one of the highlights, then waitressing with tealeaves all over our faces for the rest of the evening.
Another highlight was one of the boys inhaling as much helium as possible and then taking an order... imagine the hilarity of a confused diner and several waitresses crying with laughter.

Quite tame considering some of the dares in the responses to this QOTW, but good fun anyway.

Length? the helium lasted about 30 seconds...
(whatktdid, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 15:11, Reply)

someone dared me to shit my pants
Well, when I say someone, I mean me.

And when I say 'my pants', certainly no one wanted them afterwards.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 14:19, 6 replies)

My ex dared me...
to try a little "period" drama involving my willeh and her badly timed vagina.

I'm used to the sight now, but at the time the image of my little General covered in a thick jammy sauce was a little too much to take.

For those of you too horrified by the idea of SPADing (passing a signal at danger), then don't worry, it washes off, it is extra slippery as long as you mind the clots and afterwards you can always stick it out of the window and pretend you live above a Barber's shop.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 12:16, 11 replies)

Red Bull challenge
At a party a few years back, my good friend Dave was dared to drink 8 cans of Red Bull in 5 minutes. A large crowd gathered and Dave, always the showman, attacked the cans with gusto. After less than 2 minutes he was 4 cans in, and looking good to reach the finish line in style. However, his stomach had other ideas. With the 5th can opened and ready to go, he suddenly paused. A mighty belch... and then...

BLAAAAAAGH! Red Bull and stomach lining everywhere. To his credit, after the vomiting began, he continued to attempt to drink the other cans. This resulted in a good 2 and a half minutes of Dave alternating between taking gulps of Red Bull and then having his body reject them instantly, much to the delight (and disgust) of all spectators. When the final bell was sounded Dave had failed, but he received a standing ovation from the crowd and spent the rest of the night telling people that he was 'fucking buzzing, man!'. I later found out that the crazy bastard hadn't even eaten that day.
(T.A.F.K.A. doctorsax http://www.badphorm.co.uk, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 12:01, Reply)

I dare you
to not bullshit in your QOTW answers.
(DRAGONSLAYER, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 11:53, 2 replies)

Death by Tequila
This still remains simultaneously the proudest and most terrifying moment of my life.

A few years back, I spent 6 months as a DJ in a bar in Gran Canaria. Drug and alcohol abuse is rife among the ex-pats in places like this, and I was lucky to return to Blighty with my liver intact.

Anyway, one typical night I was drinking the local workers special (basically a pint of vodka with half a can of red bull and lots of ice) while entertaining the crowd and spinning the tunes. Not sure how it came about (these things had a habit of happening quite regularly), but a drinking contest was called for between me and a holiday-maker, and as we were all seasoned pro's, we found it funny to watch the holidaying hardmen lose some face, so we set it up.

One game we used to play was the shots and eyes game, where you would line up say four shots of white spirit, neck three and then slam the other into your eye to finish, then challenge the other guy to do the same. Of course, that would be silly so the last shot was always water, and we would stop the holiday guy just before he did himself some serious damage/blindness.

This particular night though, nobody told me that my mark was an ex-rep - possibly the only people who can drink more than resort DJ's...
Long story short, he was wise to this and rumbled my shot of water, and using his people skills, turned my crowd against me. And so it came to pass that I was to be punished for my trickery, and an 8oz glass, FULL of gold tequila was produced from behind the bar.

Now, at this point it is worth mentioning that of all the liqour on this earth, tequila is the one thing I just can't stand. It tastes like shit, makes you puke and is just all round wrong stuff.

Anyway, by this point the whole crowd was cheering, so I thought, "Fuck it, why not" - I had to win them back, so I went for it.
About half way through I thought, "If I can finish the glass without puking, I'll be able to handle it" and so I did. Didn't puke, didn't lose face, and won back my crowd, sending the ex-rep scuttling away, tail between his legs.

That's not to say there were not downsides to the whole thing. That night remains to this day the only night I have ever sworn over a microphone...

Length? Way too long José...
(UXB you said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 10:40, Reply)

I ate a beetle.
I ate it live cos I didn't want to taste its squished guts, and didn't want to choose a dead one cos I wouldn't know what it died of.

That is all.
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 8:17, 4 replies)

i set fire to dunstable
1977 rather good summer, hot dry. 11 years old . it was the night of the silver jubilee and to celebrate that night the island had decided to light signal fires from lands end to john "o" groats.
me and a couple of friends all 11 yrs didn't have a fucking clue this was happenin BUT we were on dunstable downs near the luton rd where you can see the sugar loaf on top, with a big box of vesta's
trouble was we were by a barley field just mowed with lines and lines of straw waiting to be harvested for staw bales
so ........... we lit one up .......and patted it out( this passes as it was the inspoken dare that can only pass between 11 yr olds )we lit another spot . Same again
EMBOLDENED we light a geanie with the remainding matches ... WHOOOMPH the barley strip lights we go to put it out .... the wind changes up goes the next line and so on creating the forest fire effect!
We run like fuck in totally different directions..
That night my mum takes me to the Milton Keynes signal lighting ceremony for her majesties 25th.As soon as we get there around dusk its quickly lit .
You guessed it
they aint seeing the previous fire they are seeing the inferno that me and si and al lit ....I gazed on in stupification
on the way home after the blaze mum pipes up ooh look they must be burning the stubble
pointing at the downs
never b4 told , the night we cocked up meticluous signal fire planning
they hadn't even set off lands end
live on telly and everything
hey its my birthday tomorrow yay
( hyperspacial puggling, Sat 3 Nov 2007, 1:00, 1 reply)