Teenage PartiesAh, the heady days when catering consisted of a crate of lager and some vodka illicitly extracted by whoever looked oldest, decoration consisted of removing any breakable furniture and the morning after was just the morning and not the rest of the week.
Tell us who you snogged, where you threw up and who just would not leave.
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chthonic, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 10:20)
This question is now closed.
here goes...Once went to a fancy dress party that had a theme of the "P", yes I could've dressed a penis but I decided on psycho instead. So happily enough I went wild with fake blood over some old clothes and filled a black bin bag with bone-like objects. There were several problems:
1. My mate and his gf decided not to turn up so I knew no one.
2. My blood spattering was a bit over zealous so I got stopped and searched by the police who thought I had killed someone (thank god I didn't take my blood caked baseball bat)
3. When I eventually arrived all I got was one ear piercing shriek from the hostess....which hurt A LOT, my ears were still ringing after an hour. Although to be fair imagine someone turning up on your doorstep all bloodied and carrying a black bag
Eventually I sat talking to a Puss in Bots all night and drinking flat Smirnoff Ice...it could've been worse.......maybe not
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 15:08, Reply)
noooTeenage Parties eh... one time springs to mind, it probably would've fitted well in the Shame QOTW...
Around the tender age of 16, my mates parents had gone away. We'd been told not to have a house party. So of course, that night, the house was rammed with fuck-knows-who.
Friend and I decide it would be entertaining to see if we could drink 10 pints each. We got the supplies (pint cans of Carling) and embarked on our mission.
After a few hours, we were both leathered. We only just finished the last one, before both chucking up probably the last four down the shithouse, and retiring for some much needed slumber. I crash in his sisters room. Dont worry, she wasn't there... good job, she's a big lad.
Woke up in the morning feeling like death. Peels back the duvet, to reveal the biggest cum stain in the fucking world. Id had a pissed up fwap in my best mates sisters bed. SHIT!
i decided if i ignored it, it would go away. so i went home without saying a word.
Later that day, i told a different mate about my ordeal. He seemed to find it hilarious, and was too busy laughing to offer any advice. Should i come clean? (excuse the pun).
That evening, we returned to the house of fun. My friends decide a bit of interweb trawling was in order. Shame his PC was in his sisters room...
The friend to whom I had confessed earlier that day just couldnt contain it any longer. Did he take my mate aside for a quiet word? Nah. Did he tell him through the medium of dance? Nope. He waited until we were all his sisters bedroom, and ripped off the duvet, to reveal a jizz-stain the size of a small third world country.
I dont know who was the most mortified; me, my mate, or his sister for missing out...
Apologies for length, girth, and surface area
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:56, Reply)
Oh god, last one, honest.Right - I keep remembering more and more - but this is the last, I promise.
Beginning of my (current) third year at University - so sometime back in October. I was sitting outside crosslands (our student bar) with a friend, having a nice quiet drink before a nice quiet party back at his house.
I gave him a tenner and said "Okay, get me a guinness". He comes back, and announces full of joy: "I got bored of guinness - here's a pitcher of cocktails."
"But Luke, I can't drink cocktails, they make me ill!"
"Oh go on!"
"Fine, okay."
Anyway - later that night, I had just cut the leg off my jeans with a pair of hair scissors, when my girlfriend rings me, and the conversation proceeds thusly:
"Josh - Luke just texted me and said you cut your leg or something?"
"You mean my Jeans?"
"Oh - have you cut your jeans up?"
"I don't know, I can't feel my jeans."
"Right..."
I hate you, Spirits. Damn you all to hell.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:52, Reply)
Oooh another one...I remember my friend Marie's 17th Birthday party. Well, I say remember...
The only two memories I have of the entire night were:
a) At some point challenging my friend Andrew to a competition to see who could down the most AfterShock.
b) Getting in my car, turning to my mum and saying "Who the bloody hell are you, and why are you in my car? BLEURGH!"
Proudest moment of my life, that was.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:49, Reply)
T PartyMy friend decided to host a "T Party" for her birthday one year, the premise of which being that you had to come dressed in something beginning with the letter T. Of course, there were the usuals, like "Taliban" and "Mr T" etc, but of course, being our friends - there were some a-grade weirdos there too..
The ones that stuck in mind were my sister turning up as the letter T (Having a meter rule sewn into the back of her shirt so she couldn't lower her arms), Stu coming as "Twatted" (He just turned up drunk), Joe coming as "Testicle" (Just a giant sleeping bag costume, spray painted pink, with comedy giant hairs).
But of course, the best was Pete. We opened the door, and he stood there dressed with eye patch, cutlass, long johns, and screaming "YARRR!".
He'd come as "A dyslexic pirate".
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:45, Reply)
Oh dear...Parties... I've been to a few, and to one of them, I foolishly took my ex. Instead of socialising, what did she do? Sat in the corner and read a sodding book.
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jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:44,
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"Don't touch our drink!"Still a teenager, my parents are the most 'liberal' in comparison to those of my mates, and thus I am the elected party host. That and the fact that I am not trusted in other people's houses, after being chased out one at knifepoint for putting fairy liquid in someones kettle and filling their kitchen full of bubbles.
Parents say "drink whatever you and your friends have, but touch any of OUR alcohol and you're dead." 3 People have arrived for the party so far. We proceed to hide the parent's alcohol where the rest of the partygoers won't find it. Someone cleverly puts the absinthe in the bathroom cupboard. Cue my little sister, age 10, taking a rather large swig of it, mistaking it for mouthwash, and nearly passing out.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:42, Reply)
Not me, but...My brother Ste loves to tell me this story when he's a bit pissed. It happened in year 11, and he's in his first year of uni now.
A mate was having a bit of a family party thing, and somehow Ste and two of his mates (one was the son of the host) ended up outside in the garden with an old school black bin (the ones with the handle on top of the lid) full of vodka, wine, alcopops, you name it. The three of them managed to get through it in a matter of hours.
So the next morning, they wake up in the garden, party over, to find a human poo in the middle of the lawn. One of them had been so out of it he'd actually squatted in the middle of the garden in the middle of the night to have a shit. The dad had to clear it up.
And to this day, the three of them have no idea who did it.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:42, Reply)
First drinking party at friendsI was about 14.
I had started getting good mates with a friend of mine louise (one of my best friends now) when she invited me to a house party for just the girls. I didn't drink and was a good girl so I was nervy but excited.
About 6pm, I was just about to cross the road to get to her house when she comes running at me (obviously had had a couple of drinks) saying.
'Hiya and welcome! If I stick my tongue down your throat dont worry, im just being friendly!'
It was an interesting night, lots of fowl lambrini, no snoggadge (thank god) and one girl being specacularly sick every time she stopped dancing/moving.
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Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:42,
Reply)
Not sure if this counts, but...Harold Bishop once came to one of my house parties and fucked a packet of chocolate digestives
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:30, Reply)
TescoAt one party, we decided to pay a drunken visit to tesco at 2am. Host 'G man' climbs into a trolley, wearing only his boxers, and being the good friend I am I push him into the store and promptly leg it.
The trolley hits one of the security scanners by the doors, nearly breaking it, and all the security guard says to G man, whose tackle is now hanging out, is "You can't come in here without a shirt on mate." In a true display of loyalty, everyone else had already legged it down the main road.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:20, Reply)
Mmmm Gin...One of the many hundreds of stories from teenage experiments with alcohol, party when about 16, fairly quiet. Me and a friend decide to raid the host parents booze cabinet, quite a posh family, so the only booze I recognised was gin.
A few pints of gin and coke (rank) later, I'm spewing my ringer in the garden outside their house. A taxi arrives and in my desire to show face, I decide the responsible thing to do would be walk up the driveway and tell everyone that there was a taxi there.
Halfway up the driveway, I lost all balance, due to having been horizontal face down for the past half hour, and start running backwards towards the taxi, falling over and knocking the wing mirror clean off the side of the car with my head.
Cue very angry taxi driver. I emptied my pockets of change (about 37p) as payment and ran back inside the house and hid in the toilet. Its amazing how much the threat of GBH from an angry middle aged man can sober you up.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:18, Reply)
Just A QuickieSadly I was away and missed this memorable event, but several of my mates were invited to Simon's first ever house party. His parents had deemed 14 an acceptable age to leave him alone and go away on holiday and he took full advantage of it. So the party was in full swing with half of our school year in attendance. Much alcohol was being sipped and many people were pretending to be drunk. Late on a group of Simon's mates noticed that their host had mysteriously disappeared. They got slightly worried and split up to look for him. Several moments later one of the search party came downstairs and whispered to the others that he must have gotten lucky because he could hear Simon going at it in his bedroom. Being slightly tipsy they decided it would be hilarious to sneak up to the door and then all barge in at the most inopportune moment.
So a few moments later five or six people were crowded outside his bedroom door trying to keep quiet and not giggle as they listened to Simon's grunts and moans. After a silent count of 1,2,3 they all burst through the door just in time to see Simon, totally naked, unloading all over..............his hand. Turns out that Simon had got slightly bored of their company and had inexplicably decided it would be acceptable to go up to his room for a quick wank.
He took a whole week off school due to sheer embarrassment. Can't blame him really, must be an odd feeling to shoot your load whilst looking into the slightly drunken and very surprised faces of all your mates.
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Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:17,
Reply)
the phantom shitterAfter queuing to use a toilet at a friends party for what seemed like eons. A friend of mine eventually emerged much to the relief of both me and the rest of the queue. Unfortunately he was really out of it (on nice booze and pills cocktail) and staggered off into the party which was in mid flow.
Anyhoo another friend was next in line to use the bathroom, he was in there for literally two seconds before shouting for me to come and look.
I was confronted by the scene from train spotting where McGregor goes for a swim in the bog. Somehow there was poo poo all over the toilet (even on top of the cistern and the floor). This was cleaned up by a nice lady who didn’t even live at the house
My friend who was in the bathroom for a long time adamantly denies any part of the poo- pocalypse. Using the excuse “it was like that when I went in”
However no one believes this
He is now and forever will be known as “The Phantom Shitter”
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:14, Reply)
Not as a teenager but...A few years ago a mate had a party for his teenage brother's 16th. Things got out of hand and one lad was causing mayhem; so we got a call and shot round looking all hard and stuff.
It ended up with 4 of us grabbing a limb each and chucking the lad out on the lawn (he wouldn't go quietly) - a few kidney jabs may have been issued in the struggle to lift him.
A few days later I bump into Billy, whom I went to school with. Harder than coffin nails Billy was discharged from the Royal Marines for an excess of violent tempremant.
"Now then Dan, how's it going."
"Not bad, not bad, yourself?"
"Yeh ok. Hey were you one of those lads that threw my brother out of that party?"
*cue pants shitting moment*
"Errr, yeh but not just me, and he was well out of hand"
*Slight pause*
"Nice one, he's a little bastard and deserved a good kicking"
Never have I been so scared in my life!
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Mastic, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 14:03,
Reply)
more evidenceI was always good at cleaning up after I had people over to my parents house. I thought.
One party, cleaned up all cans and bottles, even got them to the street for pick up before they got home. Missed the bag full of bottle caps.
Another, missed the footprints in the snow leading to and wandering about on the frozen swimming pool.
Finally, missed the unopened bottle of beer left thoughtfully for me in a Christmas stocking by a guest. Thanks pal.
Worst part .. they let me think I got away with everything until it served them best to bring these things up.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:58, Reply)
PuntingI'm sure this qualifies as a teenage party. Me and my mates decided to go punting on the river Cam (don't bother, it's fucking shit) one friday night. The main reason was because a tasty girl I'd been interested in was going. Basically she got in the punt with moi, I leant over to the next punt to get her a cushion to sit on, and my phone which was in my top shirt pocket fell into the river. With £40 quid credit on it. I then get my mate who had a rucsac filled with booze to give me some bottles. Cue me drinking most of it and throwing up "over-board" for the whole fucking river. All bloody two miles of it. I still remember saying "i fink your well fit" whilst throwing up in her hand. Funny, I've still not met her (this being like 6 years ago) even though my best mate is currently going out with her best mate :)
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:56, Reply)
Sniff my finger...Went to a party at a flat in Milton Keynes in my yoof, and as luck would have it, pretty much everyone got paired off – except the fat ugly mate who never pulled.
However, after a while he did pull and was frolicking behind the sofa with said female and all that could be heard was incessant squeals and giggling from the girl.
After the party, us lads were making our way home and our fat ugly mate tells of his encounter. He proudly announces the girl’s delight was due to his "fingering explorations" within her knickers. We were all suitably impressed as none of us had got more than a kiss and a grope and just to prove his point, he offers his finger for everyone to sniff.
Which we did...
...and it smelled of poo.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:51, Reply)
Trudie's PartyBack in the seemingly endless summer of 1990, one of the local girls decided to throw a party while her mum was on holiday. The girl in question was four years older than the rest of us (20) and had an unreciprocated interest in me (barely legal at the time, hehe).
Typical teenage mayhen ensured. A couple arrived and promptly broke up. I thought that the boyfriend took it rather badly, especially when his brand new ex proceeded to have sex with three different strangers and eventually contracted an STD during the course of the evening.
I was heavily innebriated, having only recently discovered the joys of heavy drinking. I was en route to the kitchen and was greeted by Trudie who was coming the other way. It took a full ten seconds to realise that she was completely starkers and had just strode past me with her "map of Tazmania" in full view. Cue comical double take moment as I was confronted by the first of many panty hamsters encountered during the course of my teenage party career.
Someone broke a bed mid-shag, someone else poured water over a female guest in a white T-shirt and our newly single recently jilted partygoer ended up receiving fellatio from a 13 year old girl in the doorway...
The next day we discovered a grand total of nine used contraceptives, an estimated 150 empty cans, several pot plants in the bath and had to try and hide the scars on carpets and sofas of a multitude of blim burns. Apparently the carpets took a full week to dry and the house stank of booze for a month after. Grossest discovery of the day was of someone's discarded sanitary towel in all it's gory detail - stuck to the bottom of someone's sock.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:46, Reply)
They all sorta blend into one..For some reason i can remember loads of stuff thats happened at parties, but i couldnt tell ya at which party it occured.
Some of the highlights include:
- an extreme binge on Tia Maria and skunk, resulting in the cruel slaying of my mate Mark's Dad's lovebird, shot down with his own air rifle (my bad..) whilst screams of "result! Got the little fucking winged rat!" filled the air.
- A rather annoying swatty girl called Steph, geeky as fuck, drinking for the first time and realizing that her stomach was havin none of it...suprprisingly, red wine looks EXACTLY the same on the the way back out (and subsequently all over my new fucking shoes) as it does on the way in.
- A lovely stint in my parents bed involving a girl called Sarah, some ice cubes and, erm, me getting a right good Hummer!! (sorry of you're reading this Sarah...It'll wash out eventually, honest! hahahaaaa)
- sitting on my mate's bed in the dark, tripping on Shrooms, listening to "Original Nuttah" by UK Apache, and actually convincing myself that i wrote it...
right..HAVE to go to a party tonight..lol
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:45, Reply)
free houseMany many many stories, but for starters….
At the fine age of sixteen in the height of the drinking-cider-in-the-park age it was discovered that a girl in our class had a sister who was having a 14th birthday party – yay thought us drinking in the warm!
Turned up around 9 after already drinking 2L of strongbow and smoking an 8th of hash to find the party in full swing. This girl had invited 6 of her closest friends.. but her kind sister had told the school it was ‘open house’. Oh dear.
Events of the evening included:
Over a hundred people turning up (most of who no-one knew)
An unknown drug dealer setting up shop in the downstairs toilet
2 blokes in an xr3i doing wheel spins on the front garden waving baseball bats out of the window
More unknown people locking themselves in the front room smoking bongs and simly using the (white) carpet as the ashtray
Police
More police
Damage the next day included:
All carpets having to be replaced due to fag/spliff/blim burns
Kitchen having to be refitted due to cupboards being literally pulled off the walls
Microwave exploding due to my experiment with a tin of dog food on high power
Sofas having to be replaced due to general rippage & burnage
Best of all though was the fact that her parents were in the house, locked in their bedroom all night terrified of the gatecrashers
Yay for house parties
(everyone knows big is best)
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:45, Reply)
RarghWhy couldn't you have done this question in June? Me and a couple of mates are headlining at a best mate's emo-themed party, woo!
It's all crap like Fall Out Boy though...
:-)
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:38, Reply)
Wellity well...Still being a teenager I have a few of these left!
But where to begin....?
1. The after ball party was cater for superbly, with a big storage box full of vodka punch (with considerably more vodka than fruit), now being quite a large (tall not fat) scottish lad I can drink, what our group considers, quite a lot. Towards the end of the night I had ended up with my head in this box, but something wet and slimey hit my face whilest I was in there.
A crumpet.
I have no idea why to this day.
2. The story of the Russian and Ian.
A well endowed Russian girl came to my party and a recently acquired friend called Ian took a shine to her, so they end up in my bed. When questioned later, and amoungst warning of her being a slut (well, she is!) the reply comes back :
"She can't be that much of a slut, she didn't even take her bra off!"
That's all for now, and Mad McMad made me laugh harder than I have in a long time.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:29, Reply)
My mate pad once....drank 12 wetermelon bacardi brezzers within a few hours. This led to him being sick in one of those small roomos with just a single toilet in. Sadly in his haste to be sick he didnt notice the toilet lid was down. This resulted in a kind of explosion of sticky bright purple vomit to be sprayed up the walls.
Needless to say, they redecorated the room.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:26, Reply)
evidenceWhen i told my ashen faced parents that I hadn't had a party while they were away for a week when I was about 16 (they arrived home a day early), they found the following contradictory evidence:
All of the doors and windows open;
No food in the cupboards;
A giant cake in the kitchen made from melted chocolate, crisps and sliced bread, with "you twat" iced on the top with ketchup;
Their marital bed encrusted with filth;
Air rifle pellets peppering the internal walls;
The word "wank" written in huge letters on the front door, created with smeared banana;
The wooden floor boards of the living room warped, where beer had been spilled and left for three days;
A normally hyperactive cat so stoned that no amount of coaxing would pursuade it to move;
A tied pair of trainers on the roof;
Party balloons;
Party poppers;
My friend Scott asleep, wearing a party hat.
I was told "you are too old for us to punish you, but you should know that we can never trust you on your own in the house again".
Alright!! Too old to punish!!
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browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:25,
Reply)
Oh God, noI went to my mate Steve's 17th party with the intention of getting to know the lovely Julia rather better, as there were hints that I might, in fact, get to see the contents of her incredibly tight, white t-shirt.
Problem: as nervous as hell. So, just a swig on this vodka to steady my nerves, mate.
And just a swig on this scrumpy to steady my nerves.
And jussssht a shwig on thish vodka to shteady me nervess, matey-mate-mate. And so on. For two hours.
When I had finally plucked up enough courage to speak to the object of my lust, the conversation went something like this:
"Awight Jules YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCHHHHH!"
Right down her front. I was hounded out of the party, still leaking booze, while the gallant Steve took a sobbing Julia upstairs, cleaned her up, and joined her in the shower. The bastard.
I eventually made it home, and puked all over my parents' incredibly posh dinner party which they had laid on for neighbours and work colleagues.
"Oh, Scary - you're home early!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Two for the price of one. Woe.
The full 12-inch version here
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:04,
Reply)
One of many...teenage parties that springs to mind is the one my best friend hosted. Her parents were the only ones out of our 'gang' at school who were trusting enough to go out for the evening/night and leave their children behind. This party in particular was initially school friends, but of course everyone invited their friends, brothers, sisters, uncles, 2nd cousins twice removed etc. until the house was full to bursting.
The cream coloured carpet in the lounge soon had brown streaks across it as wave upon wave of pissed people walked through just because they could. Someone (a friend of the host's younger brother) had rigged up a sound system complete with microphone and as the parents arrived back to see drunken teenagers puking up in their front garden/drunks passed out around the house/house generally in tatters, they were also greeted by the announcement over the PA system of 'GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING VODKA'. I'm sure they were expecting more like 'hello'.
I myself was too busy to notice the parents returning as I was trying to escape from the young man I'd snogged earlier in the evening by riding around the garden on a bicycle. As you do...
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 13:01, Reply)
Ahh the good old daysWas my mates 16th and me and a couple of his other mates slept round. After walking the streets steeling for sale signs and putting them in the road we got bored of attacking passing cars and decided to go back to his. watched a dvd or two and me and another mate decided to find some alcohol (his dad was irish so we decided there should be quite a lot in the house)
Hence forth we did find the 'stash' of alcohol deciding to take the two bottles of vodka which were basically presenting themselves to be taken.
my mate had a bit more than me and decided to run (stagger) to the toilet claiming he was going to be sick, he came back after a few mins telling us he hadn't been sick, he collapsed on the bed and thought it was the right time to puke everywhere, when the first gush was over we decided to take him to the loo, but he did it again... after around 8 more 'gushes' we took him to the loo where he spend the night sitting on the toilet laughing about owls?! and playing with a little toy boat in the loo.
you should have seen him the next morning he decided to fall asleep in the cinema and snore rather loudly and ran around with his trousers off
ahh good times
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 12:55, Reply)
Streams of WhiskeyAfter a whiskey fueled 18 year olds party fizzled out and everyone fell asleep in piles on the floor, I was woken by by friend dragging what looked like a dead body into the 'off limits parents bedroom'. I stood up despite the room spinning like a waltzer to find out what had happened.
On entering the room the smell hit me, there was vomit and shit all over the bed, the contents of the drawers were on the floor and the light shade was in tatters.
'What happened?' I asked him.
'I think I was a bit pissed and had an accident.' came the obvious reply.
'So who is the dead boy?'
'Oh he's not dead - he's just hammered. I thought if I dragged him in here, laid him on the bed and wiped puke on his face he would think he did it and clean it up.'
It did work. And worked on many occasions after this party too.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 12:45, Reply)
This question is now closed.