My Worst Vomit
We all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
( , Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
We all love a drink. Some of us love them so much they want to see them again on the way out of their mouths. I once got caught by surprise by the boozy sickness while chatting to some friends in my kitchen. Quick as a flash I grabbed a nearby pan and chundered away merrily in it. Realising it was probably time for bed I staggered off to my room. Unfortunately, my co-ordination failed just as I reached the landing and I somersaulted down the entire flight of stairs with my saucepan full of vomit. Beat that!
( , Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:00)
This question is now closed.
Giant Mushroom
Some years ago, as a teenager, I wore a brace. A massive train-track one across my top row of teeth. Once in a while this had to be tightened which shifted all of my teeth around and took a few days to calm down. Whilst my teeth were being pulled around I had to be careful when eating as chewing and biting were out of the question. I had to put small pieces of food in my mouth and just push them around until I could swallow them.
Lovely.
So, it's Saturday afternoon and I'm at a family do having had the brace tightened on the Friday before. My great Aunt has made these giant stuffed mushrooms where you take the 'cap' of the mushroom and put a big dollop of spicy/herby stuff on the top. 'Hmmmm', I thought, 'I'll have one of them'. As I bit into the mushroom I realised it was a bit tough to just rip a piece off. As I was surrounded by elderly relatives and 'on best behaviour' I had no choice other than to force the whole thing into my gob and do a cartoon-style-swallow where you could probably see the mushroom force its way down my throat. Wash down with wine - all OK.
Come the evening and I'm half cut and off to my mate's house for a party. The usual part comes here, beer, cider, spirits, beer etc. etc.
Suddenly, I start to choke and gag, I'm turning red, then purple, then blue. Everybody gathers round to see if I die. Then, with a massive 'Hurrrgh' the still whole mushroom shoots out of my mouth and across the patio followed by a trail of beery mess and assorted choice chunks from the day's buffet.
Lovely.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 16:12, Reply)
Some years ago, as a teenager, I wore a brace. A massive train-track one across my top row of teeth. Once in a while this had to be tightened which shifted all of my teeth around and took a few days to calm down. Whilst my teeth were being pulled around I had to be careful when eating as chewing and biting were out of the question. I had to put small pieces of food in my mouth and just push them around until I could swallow them.
Lovely.
So, it's Saturday afternoon and I'm at a family do having had the brace tightened on the Friday before. My great Aunt has made these giant stuffed mushrooms where you take the 'cap' of the mushroom and put a big dollop of spicy/herby stuff on the top. 'Hmmmm', I thought, 'I'll have one of them'. As I bit into the mushroom I realised it was a bit tough to just rip a piece off. As I was surrounded by elderly relatives and 'on best behaviour' I had no choice other than to force the whole thing into my gob and do a cartoon-style-swallow where you could probably see the mushroom force its way down my throat. Wash down with wine - all OK.
Come the evening and I'm half cut and off to my mate's house for a party. The usual part comes here, beer, cider, spirits, beer etc. etc.
Suddenly, I start to choke and gag, I'm turning red, then purple, then blue. Everybody gathers round to see if I die. Then, with a massive 'Hurrrgh' the still whole mushroom shoots out of my mouth and across the patio followed by a trail of beery mess and assorted choice chunks from the day's buffet.
Lovely.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 16:12, Reply)
Bungee Puke
Our local pub had a Sponsored bungee jump so a couple of friends decide that they are going to have a go and raise a bit of cash for a good cause.
Cometh the hour one of the two gets cold feet and said "the is no way I am doing it". The only solution to this was if both of them were tied together and jumped at the same time.
this plan was made over a few beers to get a bit of dutch courage, the only drawback in the tied together drunken bungee jump was that as they were on the second bounce one of the two jumpers starts to puke all over the place including all over Chris who of course could not get away.
Even when the two were safely on terra firma being untied poor Dave ws still puking up over the very pissed off Chris who was saying "get off me you Fucking Bastard".
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 16:09, Reply)
Our local pub had a Sponsored bungee jump so a couple of friends decide that they are going to have a go and raise a bit of cash for a good cause.
Cometh the hour one of the two gets cold feet and said "the is no way I am doing it". The only solution to this was if both of them were tied together and jumped at the same time.
this plan was made over a few beers to get a bit of dutch courage, the only drawback in the tied together drunken bungee jump was that as they were on the second bounce one of the two jumpers starts to puke all over the place including all over Chris who of course could not get away.
Even when the two were safely on terra firma being untied poor Dave ws still puking up over the very pissed off Chris who was saying "get off me you Fucking Bastard".
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 16:09, Reply)
White Puke
Got up for work. Had to catch the 6:45 train to London. Had a heavy night before so did my usual of drinking a cold galss of milk to cure the hangover. Walking up to the buss stop I have my first ciggy of the day. It doesnt agree with me.
I then spew pure milk all over the path in a lovely white fountain and carry on walking.
When I get to the bus stop and looked round there were about 5 other people who were behind me and must have witnessed 'white puke'.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:58, Reply)
Got up for work. Had to catch the 6:45 train to London. Had a heavy night before so did my usual of drinking a cold galss of milk to cure the hangover. Walking up to the buss stop I have my first ciggy of the day. It doesnt agree with me.
I then spew pure milk all over the path in a lovely white fountain and carry on walking.
When I get to the bus stop and looked round there were about 5 other people who were behind me and must have witnessed 'white puke'.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:58, Reply)
Ultra-snakebite
A few "nice" occurrences jump to mind.
While on a school trip to Paris, I shared a room with a room with a lad who decided to get wankered on some horrid piss-juice. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep as he proceeded to giggle, walk around etc. When he woke the next day, there was a nice little puddle of dried puke in his beg. Fortunately, it was the last day of our trip. So, what did he do? He pulled the covers over the chunder and checked out, leaving a nice little present for the French cleaners.
The next two times occurred at Uni, in my second year. We got to the Union bar at about opening time and saw this lad leave after a while. As he walked out, a huge red geyser of chuck-juice erupted from his mouth as he walked into the spray. As we left to go to the toilet, we noticed a hurriedly laid trail of sawdust on the staircase.
Finally, one night, I decided to experiment by inventing "Ultra Snakebite" - a 50/50 mix of Diamond White and Newcastle Brown Ale. Three pints of that (and a lasange that evening), and the sheets needed cleaning the next day. Thank Christ the wall was plasterboard, so I could pick the dried crusty bits of yuk from the wall. Had a dried trail of puke all over my arm and chest too. And I was woken up by the Vic Reeves version of "Dizzy" on my alarm radio.
I learned my lesson that night.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:58, Reply)
A few "nice" occurrences jump to mind.
While on a school trip to Paris, I shared a room with a room with a lad who decided to get wankered on some horrid piss-juice. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep as he proceeded to giggle, walk around etc. When he woke the next day, there was a nice little puddle of dried puke in his beg. Fortunately, it was the last day of our trip. So, what did he do? He pulled the covers over the chunder and checked out, leaving a nice little present for the French cleaners.
The next two times occurred at Uni, in my second year. We got to the Union bar at about opening time and saw this lad leave after a while. As he walked out, a huge red geyser of chuck-juice erupted from his mouth as he walked into the spray. As we left to go to the toilet, we noticed a hurriedly laid trail of sawdust on the staircase.
Finally, one night, I decided to experiment by inventing "Ultra Snakebite" - a 50/50 mix of Diamond White and Newcastle Brown Ale. Three pints of that (and a lasange that evening), and the sheets needed cleaning the next day. Thank Christ the wall was plasterboard, so I could pick the dried crusty bits of yuk from the wall. Had a dried trail of puke all over my arm and chest too. And I was woken up by the Vic Reeves version of "Dizzy" on my alarm radio.
I learned my lesson that night.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:58, Reply)
actually
my worst was my first.
i was about 6, we were in the car on the way to my uncle's house in new york city. we had driven many hours by this time. we stopped at a mcdonalds to feed everybody, and i got a vanilla milkshake.
i began feeling .. not good. my parents asked me if i had 'the need', but i had no idea since it had never happened before. apparently, i did feel the need, and hurled white all over my lap, where it had to stay until we got to my uncle's place sometime later. ewwr.
(and i haven't had a vanilla milkshake since.)
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:56, Reply)
my worst was my first.
i was about 6, we were in the car on the way to my uncle's house in new york city. we had driven many hours by this time. we stopped at a mcdonalds to feed everybody, and i got a vanilla milkshake.
i began feeling .. not good. my parents asked me if i had 'the need', but i had no idea since it had never happened before. apparently, i did feel the need, and hurled white all over my lap, where it had to stay until we got to my uncle's place sometime later. ewwr.
(and i haven't had a vanilla milkshake since.)
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:56, Reply)
I remember puking after eating spaghetti.
Needless to say, it's not very nice having to pull strands of the stuff up out of the back of your throat when your gagging fails to move them all the way out.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:52, Reply)
Needless to say, it's not very nice having to pull strands of the stuff up out of the back of your throat when your gagging fails to move them all the way out.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:52, Reply)
Bolognese disaster
Soon after starting a placement year in France, a few of us went out for a meal and settled on an 'all-u-can-eat' Italian where I had far too much spaghetti bolognese washed down with about three bottles of red wine. In bed in our rented house that night, room spin reached fever pitch and I could tell the inevitable would happen soon and made a dash for the bathroom. I didn't quite make it and vomited about 10 times en route in the darkness. Head in bowl, I could hear my housemates start to emerge from their bedrooms to investigate. Lights went on and I heard one female housemate start to scream. Feeling better after emptying my stomach, I left the bathroom and saw her cause for concern - every patch of vomit was about two feet wide, a terrifying scarlet colour on the pale carpet and each with it's own little pile of spaghetti 'brains'. Apparently, I was doing some sort of loud scream/gurgle with every blast, and that, coupled with the sight upon leaving her room, led my housemate to believe somebody was being murdered. I thought the fact we had carpet tiles would make the clean up operation easy, but it was a nightmare. I spent the next two days scrubbing about 20 of the buggers, and they all remained a light red colour. Got the deposit back at the end of the year though, after some strategic furniture movement.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:48, Reply)
Soon after starting a placement year in France, a few of us went out for a meal and settled on an 'all-u-can-eat' Italian where I had far too much spaghetti bolognese washed down with about three bottles of red wine. In bed in our rented house that night, room spin reached fever pitch and I could tell the inevitable would happen soon and made a dash for the bathroom. I didn't quite make it and vomited about 10 times en route in the darkness. Head in bowl, I could hear my housemates start to emerge from their bedrooms to investigate. Lights went on and I heard one female housemate start to scream. Feeling better after emptying my stomach, I left the bathroom and saw her cause for concern - every patch of vomit was about two feet wide, a terrifying scarlet colour on the pale carpet and each with it's own little pile of spaghetti 'brains'. Apparently, I was doing some sort of loud scream/gurgle with every blast, and that, coupled with the sight upon leaving her room, led my housemate to believe somebody was being murdered. I thought the fact we had carpet tiles would make the clean up operation easy, but it was a nightmare. I spent the next two days scrubbing about 20 of the buggers, and they all remained a light red colour. Got the deposit back at the end of the year though, after some strategic furniture movement.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:48, Reply)
OK
Occasionally we have team meetings in the London office.
These generally finish at lunchtime - we then retire to the pub. The pub in question was doing a "buy two glasses of red wine, get the rest of the bottle thrown in free" offer.
Red wine it was. At 10 I decided I ought to make my way home having consumed more wine than we can remember, but it was a lot.
Needless to say I needed food so the BK at Waterloo fitted the bill, grabbed a meal thing and jumped on the train.
Stuffing chips down my neck I felt really really bad and before I could react I threw up into the BK bag. The bag burst and this mixture of red wine, chips, burger etc fell all over the floor, my trousers and my briefcase.
I moved along the train and tried to look interested in the passing darkness, hoping noone noticed it was me.
I later noticed the CCTV camera fitted in the carriage.. So somewhere there may be some footage of me heaving into an exploding bag...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:44, Reply)
Occasionally we have team meetings in the London office.
These generally finish at lunchtime - we then retire to the pub. The pub in question was doing a "buy two glasses of red wine, get the rest of the bottle thrown in free" offer.
Red wine it was. At 10 I decided I ought to make my way home having consumed more wine than we can remember, but it was a lot.
Needless to say I needed food so the BK at Waterloo fitted the bill, grabbed a meal thing and jumped on the train.
Stuffing chips down my neck I felt really really bad and before I could react I threw up into the BK bag. The bag burst and this mixture of red wine, chips, burger etc fell all over the floor, my trousers and my briefcase.
I moved along the train and tried to look interested in the passing darkness, hoping noone noticed it was me.
I later noticed the CCTV camera fitted in the carriage.. So somewhere there may be some footage of me heaving into an exploding bag...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:44, Reply)
Fucking Students
When I was at college, I lived with this sub-human creature called Dave, who had many unsavoury habits. One fine example is when he crawled home one night and found the nearest sink to vom in. The kitchen sink.
When our other flatmate Clare entered the kitchen the next morning to make a cuppa, she was confronted with plates and pans covered in spew. When Dave was confronted with the phrase "Clean that up you dirty cunt", his reply was "No". The reason? It wasn't his washing up. Clare moved out shortly after that, surprisingly.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
When I was at college, I lived with this sub-human creature called Dave, who had many unsavoury habits. One fine example is when he crawled home one night and found the nearest sink to vom in. The kitchen sink.
When our other flatmate Clare entered the kitchen the next morning to make a cuppa, she was confronted with plates and pans covered in spew. When Dave was confronted with the phrase "Clean that up you dirty cunt", his reply was "No". The reason? It wasn't his washing up. Clare moved out shortly after that, surprisingly.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
Bloody builders......
Just remembered another barf-related incident...
Not long after we'd moved into our recently constructed house, we went for dinner at our friends house. The husband prides himself on his impeccable cordon bleu skills in the kitchen and concocted a Butter Chicken Curry which I must confess was one of the nicest meals I've ever eaten. Anyway, the drink flowed, the meal was a roaring success and the post-prandial Jamaican Old Holborn's were duly smoked. Suddenly I felt very queasy.... Being the polite sort that I am, I managed to alert my better half to my condition, and we managed to make our apologies and depart without causing too much offence.
By the time we got home I felt slightly better, and was sat on the sofa thinking I was over the worst. Oh, how wrong one can be....
With absolutely no warning whatsoever, the non-return valve failed and the Vesuvius that was my stomach, erupted. Fortunately, the distance from the lounge to the cloakroom is quite a short one, and I was able to negotiate it before the recent repast reappeared.....UNFORTUNATELY, the bog seat was down (the price I pay for living in a predominantly female household)....
There was absolutely no way I was going to make it, so I did what anybody would have done, and puked into the washbasin. The wife wasn't pleased, but what the hell, SHE wasn't going to have to force it all down the plug-hole, was she.....
No. And neither was I. Bugger. I TRIED. I mean, I REALLY tried. But it wasn't having it. Nothing. Zip. Nada. It just sat there refusing to budge.
And so, the following morning, feeling slightly worse for wear, I hold my breath and venture forth once again into the scene of the crime. I tried again. Nothing.....apart from the basin threatening to overflow with what looked like a dark brown consomme with chicken croutons. Final solution - remove u-bend and inspect further.
Oh God, it was horrible..... I couldn't get a bowl behind the sink, so I had to put a towel on the floor and just let it slop out....I'm shuddering just thinking about it. It turns out, that the reason it refused to sod off and become a hazard to shipping, was because the builders who'd constructed the house, had been washing their tools in the cloakroom basin, and the u-bend was 90% clogged up with what appeared to be concrete. Bastards.
Oh how we chortled.....from now on, the bog seat stays UP.....
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
Just remembered another barf-related incident...
Not long after we'd moved into our recently constructed house, we went for dinner at our friends house. The husband prides himself on his impeccable cordon bleu skills in the kitchen and concocted a Butter Chicken Curry which I must confess was one of the nicest meals I've ever eaten. Anyway, the drink flowed, the meal was a roaring success and the post-prandial Jamaican Old Holborn's were duly smoked. Suddenly I felt very queasy.... Being the polite sort that I am, I managed to alert my better half to my condition, and we managed to make our apologies and depart without causing too much offence.
By the time we got home I felt slightly better, and was sat on the sofa thinking I was over the worst. Oh, how wrong one can be....
With absolutely no warning whatsoever, the non-return valve failed and the Vesuvius that was my stomach, erupted. Fortunately, the distance from the lounge to the cloakroom is quite a short one, and I was able to negotiate it before the recent repast reappeared.....UNFORTUNATELY, the bog seat was down (the price I pay for living in a predominantly female household)....
There was absolutely no way I was going to make it, so I did what anybody would have done, and puked into the washbasin. The wife wasn't pleased, but what the hell, SHE wasn't going to have to force it all down the plug-hole, was she.....
No. And neither was I. Bugger. I TRIED. I mean, I REALLY tried. But it wasn't having it. Nothing. Zip. Nada. It just sat there refusing to budge.
And so, the following morning, feeling slightly worse for wear, I hold my breath and venture forth once again into the scene of the crime. I tried again. Nothing.....apart from the basin threatening to overflow with what looked like a dark brown consomme with chicken croutons. Final solution - remove u-bend and inspect further.
Oh God, it was horrible..... I couldn't get a bowl behind the sink, so I had to put a towel on the floor and just let it slop out....I'm shuddering just thinking about it. It turns out, that the reason it refused to sod off and become a hazard to shipping, was because the builders who'd constructed the house, had been washing their tools in the cloakroom basin, and the u-bend was 90% clogged up with what appeared to be concrete. Bastards.
Oh how we chortled.....from now on, the bog seat stays UP.....
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
So many to choose from
The best/worst was probably my 21st birthday. I had drank more that night than in my previous years put together. Finished it off with a kebab.
Later while sleeping I puked all over the bed but didn't move or try to clean it up, I can still remember the warm sensation as it washed over my body. After regaining the power of movement I managed crawl downstairs for water, I duely drank from the tap then explosivly vomited on the kitchen window next to the sink.
Returned to bed only to be greated b the perfect remains of a kebab on the bed, I had emptied the entire contents of my stomach onto the bed. Meat, salad and a little sauce looking vomit. No pitta bread sadly or it would have warranted a turner prize! Sadly it just looked like a bloodied turd. My smell quickly returned and prompted more vomiting but it was an anti climax after the kebab.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
The best/worst was probably my 21st birthday. I had drank more that night than in my previous years put together. Finished it off with a kebab.
Later while sleeping I puked all over the bed but didn't move or try to clean it up, I can still remember the warm sensation as it washed over my body. After regaining the power of movement I managed crawl downstairs for water, I duely drank from the tap then explosivly vomited on the kitchen window next to the sink.
Returned to bed only to be greated b the perfect remains of a kebab on the bed, I had emptied the entire contents of my stomach onto the bed. Meat, salad and a little sauce looking vomit. No pitta bread sadly or it would have warranted a turner prize! Sadly it just looked like a bloodied turd. My smell quickly returned and prompted more vomiting but it was an anti climax after the kebab.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:41, Reply)
In my mummy's face
I must've had a weaker stomach when a child, as the two worst stories of vomiting are from pre-school times. The first, but with the most lasting damage ensued after my Auntie babysat a three-year old me on a saturday night. She fed me a whole box of black magic chocolates (a two tier one no less), topped off with coke, which resulted in some major bedtime chunder. I covered a large part of my pink carpet and my little pony wallpaper in thick viscous chocolate puke, which needless to say, stained quite badly. Mum wasn't pleased...
But she was less pleased when she came to check on me in the middle of the night when i was about five. I was sound asleep (I remember none of this) when I opened my eyes to find my mum staring back at me, inches from my face, the fright was enough for me to vomit. In my mummy's face. My dad woke to find my mum running round the landing screaming 'Terry! Terry! I'm blind!'. After the sick was washed from her eyes, they found me in bed, sound asleep, sick in my hair, as if nothing had happened.
Little girls aren't always sweet...
Yeeeee! First post!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:39, Reply)
I must've had a weaker stomach when a child, as the two worst stories of vomiting are from pre-school times. The first, but with the most lasting damage ensued after my Auntie babysat a three-year old me on a saturday night. She fed me a whole box of black magic chocolates (a two tier one no less), topped off with coke, which resulted in some major bedtime chunder. I covered a large part of my pink carpet and my little pony wallpaper in thick viscous chocolate puke, which needless to say, stained quite badly. Mum wasn't pleased...
But she was less pleased when she came to check on me in the middle of the night when i was about five. I was sound asleep (I remember none of this) when I opened my eyes to find my mum staring back at me, inches from my face, the fright was enough for me to vomit. In my mummy's face. My dad woke to find my mum running round the landing screaming 'Terry! Terry! I'm blind!'. After the sick was washed from her eyes, they found me in bed, sound asleep, sick in my hair, as if nothing had happened.
Little girls aren't always sweet...
Yeeeee! First post!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:39, Reply)
1st and Last - and a few inbetween
1st memory of a mentional chuck. Puking black coffee into a snow drift. The smell, the steam, the pure artistry.
Other memorable events. Drinking too much whiskey at school, snogging the school moon beast then waking up stuck to the bog floor. When I later blew my nose found a peanut in the snot. Strange.
Animal Vom - dog used to like sleeping in my bed under the duvet. One morning it started to make some wierd coughing noise followed by the predicted spew. Only by moving at the speed of a striking slug did I avoid dog sick. Even worse the blood thing had skidded in the bed as well.
Breaking the laws of physics. - How is it if you throw up against a closed door some of the puke is always on the other side??
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:31, Reply)
1st memory of a mentional chuck. Puking black coffee into a snow drift. The smell, the steam, the pure artistry.
Other memorable events. Drinking too much whiskey at school, snogging the school moon beast then waking up stuck to the bog floor. When I later blew my nose found a peanut in the snot. Strange.
Animal Vom - dog used to like sleeping in my bed under the duvet. One morning it started to make some wierd coughing noise followed by the predicted spew. Only by moving at the speed of a striking slug did I avoid dog sick. Even worse the blood thing had skidded in the bed as well.
Breaking the laws of physics. - How is it if you throw up against a closed door some of the puke is always on the other side??
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:31, Reply)
Many years ago in a house far, far away........
Had spent the night at a mates house drinking Brandy. We'd manage to polish off two 1 litre bottles of the stuff and had fallen to sleep. In the middle of the night I'm awakened by the sound of my mate vomiting profusely into a bucket. Giving the room a lovely Brandy/Vomit aroma.
Anyway...In the morning I got up a little worse for wear and went downstairs to have a cig. My mate lived with his mum and she didn't like smoking in the house so I'm stood at the front door.
I look down and see the breakfast that my mates mum has left out for their cat. Whole Pilchards, heads N all. The cat had already had a few nibbles and this vision combined with my roughness and cig didn't go down well. I dispensed with the cig and ran into the house. My mates mum was in the bathroom so I had to head upstairs to 'the bucket'. I flew into the room grabbed the bucket (that my mate had used during the night) and hurled for about ten minutes. Lovely. A mix of his and mine.
I've never drank Brandy since.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:30, Reply)
Had spent the night at a mates house drinking Brandy. We'd manage to polish off two 1 litre bottles of the stuff and had fallen to sleep. In the middle of the night I'm awakened by the sound of my mate vomiting profusely into a bucket. Giving the room a lovely Brandy/Vomit aroma.
Anyway...In the morning I got up a little worse for wear and went downstairs to have a cig. My mate lived with his mum and she didn't like smoking in the house so I'm stood at the front door.
I look down and see the breakfast that my mates mum has left out for their cat. Whole Pilchards, heads N all. The cat had already had a few nibbles and this vision combined with my roughness and cig didn't go down well. I dispensed with the cig and ran into the house. My mates mum was in the bathroom so I had to head upstairs to 'the bucket'. I flew into the room grabbed the bucket (that my mate had used during the night) and hurled for about ten minutes. Lovely. A mix of his and mine.
I've never drank Brandy since.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:30, Reply)
In the lunch hall when I was about 10...
I had a coughing fit.
One of the coughs was so hard, it brought a big gob of sick into my hand. Yummy.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:24, Reply)
I had a coughing fit.
One of the coughs was so hard, it brought a big gob of sick into my hand. Yummy.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:24, Reply)
Job interview vomit (slick)
This currently resides in the 'how to puke and be slick at the same time' hall of fame. I had a morning job interview and had been drinking heavily the night before. While waiting in reception for my interviewer to greet me, the queasiness began to take hold. This was exacerbated by nerves. I did not have time to make it to the bog so I opened my suit jacket and was sick (uncopiously) into my inside pocket. The receptionist did not notice. I sat through the interview, and began to notice a seeping wet stain appear on my shirt. I forgot to have the suit dry cleaned and discovered the vomit again about 3 weeks later.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:21, Reply)
This currently resides in the 'how to puke and be slick at the same time' hall of fame. I had a morning job interview and had been drinking heavily the night before. While waiting in reception for my interviewer to greet me, the queasiness began to take hold. This was exacerbated by nerves. I did not have time to make it to the bog so I opened my suit jacket and was sick (uncopiously) into my inside pocket. The receptionist did not notice. I sat through the interview, and began to notice a seeping wet stain appear on my shirt. I forgot to have the suit dry cleaned and discovered the vomit again about 3 weeks later.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:21, Reply)
my worst vomit
was when i was really ill and all that came up was stomach acid which made my breath smell like crap for the rest of the week.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:19, Reply)
was when i was really ill and all that came up was stomach acid which made my breath smell like crap for the rest of the week.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:19, Reply)
Spawny get
I once managed to spew up almost an entire All Day Breakfast sandwich through my nose at work after a pretty heavy night on the tiles.
I told everyone that I had a bug but that i would stay in work, for the good of the company (smarm, smarm). I then went to my desk and fell asleep. I was later put forward for a staff award due to my exemplary level of commitment to the job.
Very spawny indeed.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:18, Reply)
I once managed to spew up almost an entire All Day Breakfast sandwich through my nose at work after a pretty heavy night on the tiles.
I told everyone that I had a bug but that i would stay in work, for the good of the company (smarm, smarm). I then went to my desk and fell asleep. I was later put forward for a staff award due to my exemplary level of commitment to the job.
Very spawny indeed.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:18, Reply)
Pulp Fiction
A good friend of mine (let's call him Pete) had gone to London for a night (and morning's) clubbing at some hell-ish open til 6 AM techno-trance night.
As he had driven up there with two friends, he had to drive them back at 10 on the Sunday morning after about 2 hours "sleep"
Legging it down the motorway, not feeling too clever, the sun was beating it's way in to his skull through the windscreen. What to do? Of course, the cure-all remedy: a nice bottle of ice-cold chocolate milk. Feeling even worse with this devilish concotion sloshing around in his walnut-sized stomach, his passenger decided that the way to ease the pain of this journey was to light up a fat joint. Mistake. As the combination of the pharmaceuticals, the hot sun, and the milk hit 'Pete's' system, the urge to vomit took hold. He quickly put his hand to his mouth and did a five-finger spray all over himself and the steering wheel etc.
"Aha", 'Pete' thought, I know what to do now. He opened his window, and hurled out of the car. At 70mph. His mate in the back promptly got a faceful of still cold chocolate milk and stomach contents. Niiiice.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:15, Reply)
A good friend of mine (let's call him Pete) had gone to London for a night (and morning's) clubbing at some hell-ish open til 6 AM techno-trance night.
As he had driven up there with two friends, he had to drive them back at 10 on the Sunday morning after about 2 hours "sleep"
Legging it down the motorway, not feeling too clever, the sun was beating it's way in to his skull through the windscreen. What to do? Of course, the cure-all remedy: a nice bottle of ice-cold chocolate milk. Feeling even worse with this devilish concotion sloshing around in his walnut-sized stomach, his passenger decided that the way to ease the pain of this journey was to light up a fat joint. Mistake. As the combination of the pharmaceuticals, the hot sun, and the milk hit 'Pete's' system, the urge to vomit took hold. He quickly put his hand to his mouth and did a five-finger spray all over himself and the steering wheel etc.
"Aha", 'Pete' thought, I know what to do now. He opened his window, and hurled out of the car. At 70mph. His mate in the back promptly got a faceful of still cold chocolate milk and stomach contents. Niiiice.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:15, Reply)
cheesy pasta...
Here's another one, my first night of halls, I was obviously very drunk and had lots of new friends. I recall there being lots of beer, pouring of vodka down throats, absinthe, and me drinking butterscotch schnapps out the bottle. Later on I rememeber sticking my head out the window and being sick, I later found out this was about the same time we had an earthquake (a little under 2 years ago), which probably didn't help matters.
Anyway here's the result, and the advice: Don't eat cheesy pasta before a night of heavy drinking, especially when it's dirty hall food.
Click for bigness
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:14, Reply)
Here's another one, my first night of halls, I was obviously very drunk and had lots of new friends. I recall there being lots of beer, pouring of vodka down throats, absinthe, and me drinking butterscotch schnapps out the bottle. Later on I rememeber sticking my head out the window and being sick, I later found out this was about the same time we had an earthquake (a little under 2 years ago), which probably didn't help matters.
Anyway here's the result, and the advice: Don't eat cheesy pasta before a night of heavy drinking, especially when it's dirty hall food.
Click for bigness
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:14, Reply)
Car related vomit
I was at a college drinking event and i managed to persuade my mum to pick me up. On the way home i felt like i needed to vomit she stopped the car, and i opened the door and filled up the compartment in the door card, i was not partually popular and unable to clean it up due to the level of drunkness!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:09, Reply)
I was at a college drinking event and i managed to persuade my mum to pick me up. On the way home i felt like i needed to vomit she stopped the car, and i opened the door and filled up the compartment in the door card, i was not partually popular and unable to clean it up due to the level of drunkness!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 15:09, Reply)
On a coach. Oh dear
Going back 10 years, at school: not satisfied that the regulation 4 cans of beer would be sufficient, so supplemented by best part of a bottle of Smirnoff. Eventually put to bed, was sick, thrown into cold bath, returned to bed, woke up 4.30am, sick for 3 hours, then had to board coach. With bucket. So ill that after a while the coach had to stop for me to empty my bucket into the hedge at the side of the road.
Had roast lunch. Felt much better.
Only just becoming able to drink vodka again.
Alex
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:59, Reply)
Going back 10 years, at school: not satisfied that the regulation 4 cans of beer would be sufficient, so supplemented by best part of a bottle of Smirnoff. Eventually put to bed, was sick, thrown into cold bath, returned to bed, woke up 4.30am, sick for 3 hours, then had to board coach. With bucket. So ill that after a while the coach had to stop for me to empty my bucket into the hedge at the side of the road.
Had roast lunch. Felt much better.
Only just becoming able to drink vodka again.
Alex
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:59, Reply)
And another...
On the way back from a family camping holiday in the north of france, I suddenlt felt queasy. I said to my parents that I wasn't feeling to good, but with the ferry terminal on the horizon they said if I could just hold on 5 minutes longer, we'd be at the terminal and I could puke my guts up in the toilet.
Needless to say, I didn't make it. Instead, I vomited all over my poor sister who was sat next to me. Amazingly, she didn't violently exact her revenge, instead she very nicely went to find a shop and get me some water. The shop was closed, but in her best school french managed to communicate that her brother was ill and got the water. Which was amazing, because while these days my sister is a good friend, back then we pretty much rowed all the time as young siblings do.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:58, Reply)
On the way back from a family camping holiday in the north of france, I suddenlt felt queasy. I said to my parents that I wasn't feeling to good, but with the ferry terminal on the horizon they said if I could just hold on 5 minutes longer, we'd be at the terminal and I could puke my guts up in the toilet.
Needless to say, I didn't make it. Instead, I vomited all over my poor sister who was sat next to me. Amazingly, she didn't violently exact her revenge, instead she very nicely went to find a shop and get me some water. The shop was closed, but in her best school french managed to communicate that her brother was ill and got the water. Which was amazing, because while these days my sister is a good friend, back then we pretty much rowed all the time as young siblings do.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:58, Reply)
puke
Many years ago when i was in the forces in germany, I had way too much one xmas eve. I woke up in bed next to a girl I hated. She proceeded to bang on about us being girlfriend/boyfriend, so I forced her to get dressed immediately, only to discover I'd thrown up in her cowboy boots. She squelched home!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:56, Reply)
Many years ago when i was in the forces in germany, I had way too much one xmas eve. I woke up in bed next to a girl I hated. She proceeded to bang on about us being girlfriend/boyfriend, so I forced her to get dressed immediately, only to discover I'd thrown up in her cowboy boots. She squelched home!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:56, Reply)
Vomit in all it's glory
Ah, the good times!
#1- Major drinking following a rugby match in Ohio while at college. For some reason (most details of the following stories may contain slight lapses of information due to brain malfunction) I found myself in my friend's car, front seat, the ride we were eventually going to drive back in. Much up-chucking follows, but unfortunately I am not drunk enough to pass out yet. I decide in order to clean up the mess, I need to rinse the car out, and go get a fire exstinquisher, old type, water under pressure. I pull the lever thinking this will be a quick clean, and spray the entire car, roof, back seat, every where, with my afternoons beer intake, along with various digestive fluids. Did I mention the ride was for 5 members of the team, 3 hours, ice cold outside, and had to be done with windows wide open? I won "Interior Decorating" award end of season.
2# Visiting older brother at his school, and very excited about partying with the big boys. Went to bed totally sloshed, did a push up in bed, puked, and then laid back down for a good's sleep. Nothing like waking up to chicken and rice vomit in your ears, face, hair, etc. I swore that morning I would never drink again. By 2:00 o'clock that afternoon I was naked in front of many strangers at the swim party- oh, well.
3# Working as a conservation aide in New Mexico, and rooming with a couple of Mexican guys, who decide to show "whitey" some of the ropes. They take me to Juarez (an entirely different subject, upon which I will post when $5 prostitues is the subject), we bought a bottle of tecquilla and some very strong "smoke", and went back to crash.. Entire bottle of drink (which was not of the highest caliber of quality) was drunk between us in 45 minutes. I slept that night on a water bed with no frame, just a big water bubble, and every time I needed to retch I just would shift my weight and kind of slide toward the floor. I'd spit up, and glide back into my original position. I had a hangover for three days, exacerbated by the New Mexican sun.
I suspect I have many more stories to "brag" about; I just can't remember them.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:54, Reply)
Ah, the good times!
#1- Major drinking following a rugby match in Ohio while at college. For some reason (most details of the following stories may contain slight lapses of information due to brain malfunction) I found myself in my friend's car, front seat, the ride we were eventually going to drive back in. Much up-chucking follows, but unfortunately I am not drunk enough to pass out yet. I decide in order to clean up the mess, I need to rinse the car out, and go get a fire exstinquisher, old type, water under pressure. I pull the lever thinking this will be a quick clean, and spray the entire car, roof, back seat, every where, with my afternoons beer intake, along with various digestive fluids. Did I mention the ride was for 5 members of the team, 3 hours, ice cold outside, and had to be done with windows wide open? I won "Interior Decorating" award end of season.
2# Visiting older brother at his school, and very excited about partying with the big boys. Went to bed totally sloshed, did a push up in bed, puked, and then laid back down for a good's sleep. Nothing like waking up to chicken and rice vomit in your ears, face, hair, etc. I swore that morning I would never drink again. By 2:00 o'clock that afternoon I was naked in front of many strangers at the swim party- oh, well.
3# Working as a conservation aide in New Mexico, and rooming with a couple of Mexican guys, who decide to show "whitey" some of the ropes. They take me to Juarez (an entirely different subject, upon which I will post when $5 prostitues is the subject), we bought a bottle of tecquilla and some very strong "smoke", and went back to crash.. Entire bottle of drink (which was not of the highest caliber of quality) was drunk between us in 45 minutes. I slept that night on a water bed with no frame, just a big water bubble, and every time I needed to retch I just would shift my weight and kind of slide toward the floor. I'd spit up, and glide back into my original position. I had a hangover for three days, exacerbated by the New Mexican sun.
I suspect I have many more stories to "brag" about; I just can't remember them.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:54, Reply)
One evening I was out drinking with some friends
and while extremely drunk, decided it would be fun to try and drink a pint of water. Through my nose. I performed said feat, much to the delight of my friends and some other random nearby people, who cheered.
High on my sudden popularity, I decided to do it again. Again everyone cheered, and the subtle discomfort of snorting water was nicely subdued by my complete ratarsedness.
Of course, feeling the need to outdo myself, I decided to step up a gear, and grabbed a pint someone had carelessly left on a table. A pint of finest cider, no less. Now, I very much dislike cider when consumed properly, but when consumed nasaly, it produced an instant reaction. I vomited on the floor and got thrown out of the club.
Hooray!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:52, Reply)
and while extremely drunk, decided it would be fun to try and drink a pint of water. Through my nose. I performed said feat, much to the delight of my friends and some other random nearby people, who cheered.
High on my sudden popularity, I decided to do it again. Again everyone cheered, and the subtle discomfort of snorting water was nicely subdued by my complete ratarsedness.
Of course, feeling the need to outdo myself, I decided to step up a gear, and grabbed a pint someone had carelessly left on a table. A pint of finest cider, no less. Now, I very much dislike cider when consumed properly, but when consumed nasaly, it produced an instant reaction. I vomited on the floor and got thrown out of the club.
Hooray!
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:52, Reply)
Tatties o'er the side
Went out to watch the Scotland Brazil game in the first round of the 98 world cup. This was about 4pm - got taxied home at about 3am and fell in the garden - Cunted. Got covered in ornamental bark chippings and dragged them all up the stairs. Puked (violently) into the toilet and woke my (now ex) wife by snoring loudly and echously into the bowl. This isn't about the vom - this is about the triumph over the bitch. The snoring must have been fucking hilarious - i woke her at about 4 am :)
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:50, Reply)
Went out to watch the Scotland Brazil game in the first round of the 98 world cup. This was about 4pm - got taxied home at about 3am and fell in the garden - Cunted. Got covered in ornamental bark chippings and dragged them all up the stairs. Puked (violently) into the toilet and woke my (now ex) wife by snoring loudly and echously into the bowl. This isn't about the vom - this is about the triumph over the bitch. The snoring must have been fucking hilarious - i woke her at about 4 am :)
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:50, Reply)
Spewed on pregnant missus
I've always hated visitng the in-laws. On this particular occasion, her sister's boyfriend also happened to be there. Both bored out of our skulls, we decided to nip down the local for a couple about 9pm. Eight or nine pints or Stella later, we staggered back and went straight to bed. I woke up about 3 with no idea where I was or how to get to the bathroom, all I knew was that I had to empty my guts. Halfway through clambering over the missus (who also happened to be heavily pregnant at the time) I spewed, and spewed good. She woke up screaming, waking up the whole house with her. Managed to cover her, the duvet, sheets and ruin a rather expensive matress. Needless to say, this didn't improve the relationship with her parents much...
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:42, Reply)
I've always hated visitng the in-laws. On this particular occasion, her sister's boyfriend also happened to be there. Both bored out of our skulls, we decided to nip down the local for a couple about 9pm. Eight or nine pints or Stella later, we staggered back and went straight to bed. I woke up about 3 with no idea where I was or how to get to the bathroom, all I knew was that I had to empty my guts. Halfway through clambering over the missus (who also happened to be heavily pregnant at the time) I spewed, and spewed good. She woke up screaming, waking up the whole house with her. Managed to cover her, the duvet, sheets and ruin a rather expensive matress. Needless to say, this didn't improve the relationship with her parents much...
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:42, Reply)
Ahh there's are so many but here's a gooden....
I went on a posh boat cruise around the Thames with my boyfriend at the time on a company do directors the lot you know where you have to speak proper! I'd consumed way too much alcohol as I couldn't walk when I got off the boat and had to be carried! Any ways, we were staying at his bosses house, got back and had a nice chat when the room started spinning and I felt really dizzy. Not wanting to disturb the pleasant evening, I decided to nip outside for a bit of fresh air. But mouth started watering, eyes became glazed...I had to release the puke! So picture it now, sick dripping down 'the bosses' car and a nice puddle of sick right in the middle of the drive!
Lets just say I was a little embarressed the next day!
Oh yeah and my Jack Russel eats her sick! Ming but that night, she would have been useful LOL
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:40, Reply)
I went on a posh boat cruise around the Thames with my boyfriend at the time on a company do directors the lot you know where you have to speak proper! I'd consumed way too much alcohol as I couldn't walk when I got off the boat and had to be carried! Any ways, we were staying at his bosses house, got back and had a nice chat when the room started spinning and I felt really dizzy. Not wanting to disturb the pleasant evening, I decided to nip outside for a bit of fresh air. But mouth started watering, eyes became glazed...I had to release the puke! So picture it now, sick dripping down 'the bosses' car and a nice puddle of sick right in the middle of the drive!
Lets just say I was a little embarressed the next day!
Oh yeah and my Jack Russel eats her sick! Ming but that night, she would have been useful LOL
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:40, Reply)
Puking hell
A few here, actually, cos I do love a good puke...
A mate gave me a lift to our local acoustic night in his Astra van. All of us were given beer for playing, and by the end of the night our group had built up a nice little entourage. All back to mine, I declared, so about five of us crammed ourselves into the back of the van (which still had a drumkit in the back). Someone decided they wanted a kebab, so we stopped and let him out before continuing home. On the way, they came across a whole red chilli in the kebab and we embarked on an a lovely argument about which were hotter: red or green chillies. In my befuddled state, I argued the case that green were hotter, and volunteered to demonstrate by eating this red chilli whole. Seconds later, I was banging on the side of the van demanding to be let out. We stopped outside the Seven-Eleven where I ran in, grabbed a pint of milk to quench the flames and just threw a pound coin at the shopkeeper. I didn't wait for my change, and bolted outside, puking nice milky chilli stuff onto the pavement.
Weeks later, I went to a party with my flatmate, where we drank plenty and ate these little tikka bites. Well, we got back to the flat about 3:30 in the morning, my flatmate was sitting cross-legged on the floor while I sat on the sofa. Without warning, I suddenly puked loads of pink puke all over his lap and feet. He was so drunk that he didn't attempt to get out of the way, and, by now sitting in a pool of warm pink puke, he only just managed to look up to register his disapproval before I puked again, and then once more for luck. I don't think he ever forgave me for that.
When I was a kid, I managed to ruin a family day out.. we were off to the boat race in London, and Mum didn't have time to do breakfast. I carefully selected a McCain's prawn and courgette pizza from the freezer, and put it under the grill. There was still ice on it as I ate it, but we were in a hurry to leave and I didn't like to leave it. We got about thirty miles out before the pizza decided to wreak its prawny revenge on me, and I showered the inside of our hired car with chunder, much to the disapproval of my dad's friend. Dad stopped the car and attempted to clean up, but was not having much success, so he knocked on this complete stranger's door and asked if he could have some warm soapy water to clean the car out with. They were very kind, even giving me some clean clothes to wear - this horrible brown cardigan which, for years after, was synonymous with the puke.
But the best has to be when me and my little sis were both off sick from school, alone in the house while Mum went to work. Little sis started to get hungry, so I offered to make her a tasty nutritious lunch of custard (with the milk added before it had boiled, giving it a thin consistency) with some frozen diced carrots for garnish. Result: sick like you've never seen before - absolutely everywhere - and a lifelong "raw carrot phobia" for my poor little sister.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:40, Reply)
A few here, actually, cos I do love a good puke...
A mate gave me a lift to our local acoustic night in his Astra van. All of us were given beer for playing, and by the end of the night our group had built up a nice little entourage. All back to mine, I declared, so about five of us crammed ourselves into the back of the van (which still had a drumkit in the back). Someone decided they wanted a kebab, so we stopped and let him out before continuing home. On the way, they came across a whole red chilli in the kebab and we embarked on an a lovely argument about which were hotter: red or green chillies. In my befuddled state, I argued the case that green were hotter, and volunteered to demonstrate by eating this red chilli whole. Seconds later, I was banging on the side of the van demanding to be let out. We stopped outside the Seven-Eleven where I ran in, grabbed a pint of milk to quench the flames and just threw a pound coin at the shopkeeper. I didn't wait for my change, and bolted outside, puking nice milky chilli stuff onto the pavement.
Weeks later, I went to a party with my flatmate, where we drank plenty and ate these little tikka bites. Well, we got back to the flat about 3:30 in the morning, my flatmate was sitting cross-legged on the floor while I sat on the sofa. Without warning, I suddenly puked loads of pink puke all over his lap and feet. He was so drunk that he didn't attempt to get out of the way, and, by now sitting in a pool of warm pink puke, he only just managed to look up to register his disapproval before I puked again, and then once more for luck. I don't think he ever forgave me for that.
When I was a kid, I managed to ruin a family day out.. we were off to the boat race in London, and Mum didn't have time to do breakfast. I carefully selected a McCain's prawn and courgette pizza from the freezer, and put it under the grill. There was still ice on it as I ate it, but we were in a hurry to leave and I didn't like to leave it. We got about thirty miles out before the pizza decided to wreak its prawny revenge on me, and I showered the inside of our hired car with chunder, much to the disapproval of my dad's friend. Dad stopped the car and attempted to clean up, but was not having much success, so he knocked on this complete stranger's door and asked if he could have some warm soapy water to clean the car out with. They were very kind, even giving me some clean clothes to wear - this horrible brown cardigan which, for years after, was synonymous with the puke.
But the best has to be when me and my little sis were both off sick from school, alone in the house while Mum went to work. Little sis started to get hungry, so I offered to make her a tasty nutritious lunch of custard (with the milk added before it had boiled, giving it a thin consistency) with some frozen diced carrots for garnish. Result: sick like you've never seen before - absolutely everywhere - and a lifelong "raw carrot phobia" for my poor little sister.
( , Fri 20 Aug 2004, 14:40, Reply)
This question is now closed.