I've just come back from having an eye test,
and can say that it was one of the most strangeley erotic experiences I've ever had.
I think that fact that it was an exceptionally beautiful young lady doing the test, and that hair kept falling on my face when she was checking my eyes helped.

It lead me to ponder what other unexpectedly erotic experiences I've had in my life, but being the dull boring sort, I couldn't think of any.....
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:16, archived)

You dropped this 'boy'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:17, archived)

Early morning news programmes
on telly.
(pignoli just said that, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:18, archived)

that michelle husain or whatever her name is
and t'other brunette newsreader GMTRFH with gusto
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:24, archived)

Three words:
dib dib dib.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:19, archived)

were you baloo or akela?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

Shere Khan't.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:21, archived)

I seem to be communicating solely via the medium of the strikethrough
a u
( Cap'n Tallbeard, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:26, archived)

I find it faintly creepy
if a bloke optician's hair brushes my face when he's shining a light in my eyes.
INVASION of personal space.
(Amerella, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:19, archived)

Especially when the pubes get stuck in your teeth, eh?

( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

have you seen
basketball
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:21, archived)

Baseketball

(El Indio, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

If you ever
found my hair brushing your face, you'd know you were in trouble.
( Mr. Sheep Fat Squelchy Goodness, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:21, archived)

sexy trouble?

( 100% kitten better than ever, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:25, archived)

Don't encourage him!

(Amerella, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:27, archived)

it might be his nostril hair

( 100% kitten better than ever, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:32, archived)

going to the hairdressers
and having my head masaged with shampoo by a particularly sexy brunette, who "accidently" soaked her own tits with the shower nozzle.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:19, archived)

You blatently just stole that memory
from a porn flick.
(pignoli just said that, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

If it was a dream...
how come my hair got shorter?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

Hair theives

( BindiBaji, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:24, archived)

leukemia

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:25, archived)

You should have said,
"Me cock could do with a spitshine 'n all, love!"

She'd have thought you were well classy.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

This.
Having your hair washed by a stranger is worth ... whatever it costs these days to get your hair washed by a stranger.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

I pay extra
for her not to ask what I'm doing for my holidays this year.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:28, archived)

I find this very very sleazy
for some reason
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:30, archived)

/obligatory parent insult
while I was fucking your mum, I thought of your dad
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:19, archived)

your mum has a hot cock
and your dad is jealous
(riedacher_bertram, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:22, archived)

rather you than
me chap

and oysters
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

Try and think about it from her point of view.
She's probably now at home scrubbing herself down in disinfectant and then during the night the horror of what she witnessed today will get too much and she will shoot heself to stop the image of your leering face from appearing in her mind.
( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

Hahahahaha!
You cunt!
( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:24, archived)

I fell into a vat of worms

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

for real?

( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:20, archived)

Pfft!
*pats you on the head*
( Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:21, archived)

I want to know
where I can find a vat of worms!
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:24, archived)

Fo sho
mah nigga
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

my dentist has mahoosive boobies
and netles them on the back of my head while her attractive assistant doesn't have much room to manouver, so inevitably brushes my hand with her arse
( CowJam, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:22, archived)

Mine whispered "Ooo ... nice big pupils!" last time
I most very nearly came in my pants.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:22, archived)

were you on a school trip?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

Arf!

( Lonewolf - O R'lyeh? Ya R'lyeh!, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:23, archived)

Unexpectedly erotic experiences.
My PA accidently burped down the phone when talking to me.

I loved it.
(Cane: I love Sushi, Sobriety & Shotokan, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:22, archived)

Hehe
My optician is Porkpie out of Desmond's. Mentalist.

My contact lens tech is a massive great big rugby player with big fat fingers. He makes me slightly uncomfortable.
( Dekazer, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 14:24, archived)