Good morning :)
What does today bring for you? I hope it is lots of smiles.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 7:56, archived)

I've got Latitude tickets and I'm about to do Internet Shopping for Baby Camping Stuff.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

Cor! :)

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

I know!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

I have been to Latitude for the last couple of years
One of the nicest festivals I have ever been to, I'm sure you will have a great time.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

i have also been the last couple of years
it's brilliant, even though this year's line up isn't as good as in past years
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:57, archived)

can you get an airbed in a baby or do you have to make do with a groundsheet?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

bivvy?

( mongychops, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

Will you be seeing Regina Spektor?
I fancy her a bit. Not as much as you, like, but a fair bit.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

not as much as shambles fancies her
or not as much as you fancy shambles?
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

Latter, obvs.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

blates

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

defo

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

fo' sho'

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

I also have Latitude tickets
and will be mostly sat in the comedy tent, apart from Regina Spektor, Nick Cave and The Pet Shop Boys
( magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

haha, it'd be great if 'nick cave and the pet shop boys' were a supergroup

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Yes

( magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Oh look at me, I'm chewing gum and breathing through my nose
and humming occasionally, and sneeze then say "oh, i do that a lot, i have a lot of allergies". Why the shitting hell are none of these picked up when he was interviewed for the job?
( magnum, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Give him some allereze and tell him to man the fuck up

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

I might smack a bitch up.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:02, archived)

She'd crush you like a worm.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:02, archived)

How am I supposed to develop my bitch-smacking skills when I have to deal with all this negativity?
:(
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:04, archived)

With stuj's patented Bitch-Slapper-Upper-Simulatorer 5000 of course.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

*Hastily scrawls vaguely female facial characteristics on the moles in a Fisher Price Whack A Mole game in crayon.*
Yours for only £149.99 from stuj's Tat Pimp Training Emporium!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

Bet she kicks the shit out of you first.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

she'll snap your spine like a dry twig

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

To be sure.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

An exam at 9:20
Possibly watching Star Trek

Work this evening

I've already watched last nights Lost, so that's one thing ticked off the list for today.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:05, archived)

A Star Trek exam?
Q1) How many members of the crew are there on the Enterprise-C?

Q2) How do you initiate the warp field generators without overloading the warp core?

Q3) Who was the better captain, Kirk or Picard? (Note: This is the only question that actually matters and there is no "just my opinion" about it. Get this wrong and you fail and failures will be shot on sight)

Q4) Who would you knob? Uhura, Troi, Seven Of Nine or that Vulcan bird from the disappointing "Enterprise" series?
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

1) 3 and a half
2) ciijasiie?
3) pat sharp
4) pat sharp
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

The Vulcan bird is the best.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

4) Hmm does the Vulcan one have fake mams?
If so it's definitely 7 of 9.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

Q3) Personally I liked Picard for his sexy smoulderyness
and I like Kirk for his sense of humour .
( Mrs Sp@m, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

A fried breakfast, then bed.
Then tonight, I'll venture into the Capital Village with it's brightish light and painted lady.
But, for now, *SHAMELESS PANDERING OF LULLY FLUZZY!*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:06, archived)

aren't you on some rock
in the middle of nowhere? Do you even have a village?
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

It's a TOWN.
Even if it is named after the thicker one in the Laurel And Hardy films.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:10, archived)

Oliver?

( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Yes.
Port Oliver.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

I imagine it all to be much like Deliverance.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:12, archived)

Nooooo.
well, not that much.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

According to google you are in Kentucky
I like to think this is true

I know it isn't though :(
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

Oh Christ, that might make me Syncy!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

pffft
when was the last time you took a picture of your cock and put it on b3ta?
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

I'm not sure.
I've been too busy falling down stairs and shooting imaginary nigger-squirrels.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

:D
Daft chap.
( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

;)
*Tickles*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

I have a meeting
with some fellow students on our presentation on Celso Furtado's economic theory.

i'm not sure I know why i study this
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:08, archived)

EXCITEMENT!
SUMS!
MONEYS!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

BORINGNESS!
THEORIES!
NO MONIES!
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

:(

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

I know :(
I think I'm going to change and try my hand at some sort of engineering
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

i'm expecting a job offer
if this happens, i'm going to binge
( spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:13, archived)

Huzzah!
Good luck chap!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

:)
thanks!
( spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

I'm off to collect ....
5kg of Homemade Lorne Sausage
5kg of Homemade Pork Bangers
10 Forfar Bridies

And pay for it in beer!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:15, archived)

I read that last bit as brides.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

It wont be as good as back here....

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Scottish Butcher
Just moved to Jakarta, tried the first batch last week and it's effing brill!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

I'm wasting time here for a bit
then having a shower, getting dressed and driving down to Tunbridge Wells for a wedding.

Morning lovely lady! *hugs*
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

did you get your spunky cervix yet?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

not yet
but I have spent an evening with myself, so I am not quite so crazy now.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Excellent work

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I feel I must apologise for my outrageous behaviour yesterday
and thank /talk for being so understanding
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

SsssSsSsssPpoooOOONNgGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY! /talk's favourite resident of Derek and Clive.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

I'm not there right now you know

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Aye, I've gahered that.
You've been talking about crowds that consist of more than three people.

And I hope you're enjoying civilisation.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Shame I couldn't nip over and see you really.

Civilisation is overrated, too many people getting in my way
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

I don't know. It's probably for the best.
I think my dingalike would cut off my winky if she thought I was going to give you a spunky cervix.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

ah, jealous type is she?

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

Nah, just violent.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:35, archived)

ok, good job I am way over here then
wouldn't want you to lose your vital assets
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

FUCK YOU ARNO

( spacefish bong!, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

She won't call me Arno.
:'(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

well now you ask, I've configured an instance of mySQL as a linked server in SQL Server
but I can only query it using openquery

and I like breasts quite a fair bit too
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Yes. Moobs ftw.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

no no no
not moobs

ladybumps
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

Davemoobs?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

ladybumps or gtfo

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

*Jiggles forlornly*

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:33, archived)

I've had 3 1/2 hours sleep
I predict today to start badly and go rapidly downhill from there.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

poor Tentacles
*applies tea and sympathy*
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

you sound like a man in need of a glass of warm refreshing wee

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:27, archived)

I'm not right until I've had my first cup of wee.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

you're bloody weird mate, that's what you are

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

Pot. Kettle. etc

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

If drinking your own piss and photoshopping Chris Packham's face onto a naked photo of your dad is weird
well gosh darn it just call me Mr. Weird.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

It's none of that.
It's the.....other...thing.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Late reply right here.
Today is my last day of work til Tuesday. Yes. I'm off to the theatre tonight to see Blood Brothers. I hope I don't get all stabby due to over exposure to Scouse accents.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

That's them two blokes that wail at each other isn't it?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

Yeah. Think so.
I've not seen it before. I know its set in Liverpool and one or possibly both die in the end. It'll make a pleasant change from sitting around in my pants posting nonsense on an internet messageboard.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

Oh right I was actually thinking of a band by the same name.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

*Resists urge to strikethrough that last bit*
Have fun.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

Ooh I love that show
And that reminds me, my mum wanted me to get tickets to something for her. *goes to try and remember what*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

I'm not entirely sure how I've managed to get washed, teeth brushed, dressed and to work.
Very tired. Strange dreams.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

Strange dreams are made of these
How did I get dressed and cleaned?
I traveled to work mysteriously,
Everybody's looking at something.

*now realises the underwear was put on the outside of the clothes*
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

I wouldn't mind, I've got fucking robot knickers on.
YES.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

You utter geek.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

Some might say.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

Over the past few years I have noticed a sharp increase
in the amount of times I have gone to work with my boxers on back to front.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

+ and on my head.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

Does it not feel uncomfortable?
I'm not going to strop at you today, I've got my big grown up girl head on.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

This worries me
I shall have to incorporate this new persona into my poorly drawn and executed comic strip I am working on.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

And only discovering while attempting to have a quick wank?
Know the feeling well!
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Theory test.

( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

Good luck!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

I'm going to see that Star Trek Kids film tonight
Today's sunny and I'm slightly hungover. YES
( Theoban What of it, Thu 7 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Ok.
HURRAH for the second line!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 May 2009, 9:27, archived)