70 minutes with no new postings
OH INTERNET !

Is it mid afternoon feeding time ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

I was about to post a new thread about the google streetview car
Just had it go past, tried to get naked but it was too quick :(

EDIT: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8044335.stm ohh nnooeesss but that's ruined the new Rock Profile that has come out today.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm on google street view, looking stern in camo shorts, walking to work.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

link it bitch

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

yes daddy
www.b3ta.com/talk/6014470
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

I actually think Peter Andre is a nice bloke. She's a ball busting, spoilt nightmare, with issues.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

I can picture her now
forcing Peter to shag her so she can hatch more MONSTERS.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

if it wasn't for him I'd have to sing something equally shit when I'm scared whilst climbing
"WHOA MYSTERIOUS GOAT, I WANT TO GET CLOSE TO YOU"
these are my lyrics
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I always sing that stupid Boney M song from Touching the Void.

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

haha
I've found myself singing c'est la vie up a particularly blank slab above pretty dreadful pro.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Urgh - I just reminded myself of that feeling when you start a move and your foot doesn't quite go where it was supposed to and for a moment you think you might not make it :(((

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

at that point my mind starts spitting out this mantra:
"DROP HEEL DROP HEEL DROP HEEL DROP HEEL DROP HEEL DROP HEEL"

usually followed by this mantra:
"WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD WEIGHT FORWARD"
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

this is 95% the time followed by:
"THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK THANK FUCK"
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

stairs must be a fucking nightmare for you two...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

nah, we're talking blank slabs Dongle Kums
try climbing something which is literally an incredibly steep ramp with a slight undulation occasionally placed.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

If it were me
I would sit on a skateboard attached to a long bit of rope, tie the rope to you and then wait.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Wheelchair Ramp at the library then.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

pretty much yeah :(

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

*tickles*
;P
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

*ARMFLAIL*

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

Welcome to my life :D

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

He ws lovely, if a little mad, on cribs.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

indeed. He seems like a quite funny and genuine guy,
She always busts his balls on the Jordan & Peter programme for no reason.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I've never seen it. Poor Peter Andre.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I never thought I'd be agreeing with that...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

You should always agree with me.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

yes ma'am!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I don't want my fingers to get skinny from all this typing. *drinks custard*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Your fingers look like pugbodies

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

There was a very fat pug on the dog whisperer at the weekend.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

REALLY!?!?
heheheeeee aww :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Mentalface's dog.
Whats her name? Denise Richards, that's it. Her.

She's got a Boston Terrier and a French Bulldog as well. I love French Bulldogs.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I'd love to wabble her long tits and pull her face even wider whilst fucking her as all her dogs watched.
I'm not even joking for once.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

I would watch that.
I'd cheer you on. Could you do it harder than necessary though? I don't like her.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I always do.
She'd think that what we're doing is kinky and hard, then she'll realise that she's not enjoying it and all I'm doing it tugging her face even wider whilst calling out "OooooooNNGEE I WANNA FUCK YOU IN THE LANTERN JAW SNEEEEE!UNF UNF UNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNF"
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

I would giggle and clap like a 4 year old with a massive cake.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Your fingers look like a Down's squeezed a Curly Whirly so hard the chocolate turned grey.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Damn it Gums, you have to give me a chance sometimes
you escalate too quickly :D
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

bah, sorry dude :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

At least put it on some apple and rhubarb crumble
drinking custard is no way to go about things.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

GLUB GLUB GLUB try and stop me! GLUB!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

*puts chilli sauce in it*
that'll learn you, you scamp
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

MY BUM HURTS GLUB GLUB
GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

hahahah!
that made me chuckle lots :D
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

GLUBGLUBGLUBHELPMEICAN'TSTOPGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Oh dear
call the paramedics, we have a custard incident.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

I'm looking for a telephone number of a woman in Monaco.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

I wouldn't bother
she probably only speaks FORRIN.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Nah, she's got an English name and she works for an English company
so hopefully she speaks it. If not it's either my shit attempts at French or German.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Don't forget
to get angry and start shouting if she wont do exactly what you want.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

She wants ME to do something.
Well, her bosses do. I've got to be good though, I think she's dead senior.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Weekend at Bernies!
*rereads*
Hmm, that's a pain in the backside.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

That's because people are FLOCKING to offtopic, now cr3 has made it threaded replies.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

ONE B4SH AND YOU'RE WHORING IT AT BETTER PEOPLE!
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Isnt it a bit pointles considering thats what /talk is for?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Yes
but there are fewer cunts on there.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

why don't you go over there and introduce yourself?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Yeah', mykey, just fuck off.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

*opens mouth like a newborn chick*

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 11 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

I've been screenshotting a new tool we have
The atmosphere of excitement in this office could be cut with a knife
( Theoban What of it, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Is it a socket wrench?
I like those. Clickclickclickclick.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Alas no, a software tool
EVEN LESS EXCITING
( Theoban What of it, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

:(
more socket wrenches are needed. Tell the big boss wo/man.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

No feeding for me thanks
I just ran my first mile HURRAH.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Congratulations
have a sherry to celebrate.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Sherry is for christmas
if I have it too often it tastes less special at christmas.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I just like sherry
I think I shall pick up some manzanilla from the shop.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

Well done!
I can't run for very long, I'm more of a sitting/lying down sort of girl.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

It's odd because I was absolutely knackard when I arrived at nursery to pick the boy up but now I want to go again

( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

Endorphins?
If I were you, I'd have a leap around the living room to some tasty music.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Congratulations. :)

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Mon 11 May 2009, 15:57, archived)